- Joined
- Jan 29, 2008
- Messages
- 9
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To the OP: Being gay *is* really hard if you're not in a place where you can actualize yourself freely. This depends on many factors; environment plays a large part, but your internal composition matters a great deal as well, and will mediate how you interpret and interact with your particular environs.
First, you have to be okay with yourself. This takes time. Your struggle is at once unique, and not uncommon. There are millions, MILLIONS, of people who don't identify as heterosexual or of one or another gender, or don't do so strongly enough to apply labels to themselves. And many of these individuals have gone through gloomy periods of figuring out where they fit, and how best to interact with the folks that surround them. This doesn't make things easier for you -- yet there are accordingly millions of stories of self-discovery and identity formation that are all acutely personal. Please try to derive some strength or some hope from the fact that you are not alone. It may seem like you are, it may feel like you are. Hang in there. It gets better. You will become more comfortable with yourself, and with your interactions with others -- biological men and women alike, of any orientation. You may need to move to a new place when you have the financial ability to do so. And we will be waiting for you, with open arms.
I assume, perhaps incorrectly, that you posted here because you have some orientation, if you will, towards a medical career. I'm only a 1st year, but I can already tell you that the medical field needs you and the perspective that you will develop. The field is by and large conservative. This is masked by the mandate to objectively provide care to one's patients. That a given physician provides non-judgemental care does not always mean that that same physician understands what an LGBT patient has or will experience in seeking healthcare. There would also appear to be a dramatic thinning of the LGBT population from the medical track between undergrad and med matriculation-- somewhere, along the long and difficult path of gaining acceptance to medical school, many of us are lost. I suspect many mechanisms are responsible for this. Regardless, the size of the LGBT population we treat does not change, and deserves treatment that is culturally COMPETENT, not just culturally non-judgemental. Tolerance and support are two very different things. Your voice will undoubtedly enrich the myriad voices that currently emanate from clinics.
And yet, you can't help others until you have helped yourself. The Fenway Community Health Center in Boston operates a hotline that you may find helpful (I used to answer calls there, myself). You can easily get the number from their website. If you don't want to call, then consider making a concerted and stragegic effort to be more transparent with the people that surround you. Do so safely and slowly; if you genuinely feel endangered, don't risk it. I think you'll be surprised at how things will go, however. But above all, hang in there. It gets easier.
First, you have to be okay with yourself. This takes time. Your struggle is at once unique, and not uncommon. There are millions, MILLIONS, of people who don't identify as heterosexual or of one or another gender, or don't do so strongly enough to apply labels to themselves. And many of these individuals have gone through gloomy periods of figuring out where they fit, and how best to interact with the folks that surround them. This doesn't make things easier for you -- yet there are accordingly millions of stories of self-discovery and identity formation that are all acutely personal. Please try to derive some strength or some hope from the fact that you are not alone. It may seem like you are, it may feel like you are. Hang in there. It gets better. You will become more comfortable with yourself, and with your interactions with others -- biological men and women alike, of any orientation. You may need to move to a new place when you have the financial ability to do so. And we will be waiting for you, with open arms.
I assume, perhaps incorrectly, that you posted here because you have some orientation, if you will, towards a medical career. I'm only a 1st year, but I can already tell you that the medical field needs you and the perspective that you will develop. The field is by and large conservative. This is masked by the mandate to objectively provide care to one's patients. That a given physician provides non-judgemental care does not always mean that that same physician understands what an LGBT patient has or will experience in seeking healthcare. There would also appear to be a dramatic thinning of the LGBT population from the medical track between undergrad and med matriculation-- somewhere, along the long and difficult path of gaining acceptance to medical school, many of us are lost. I suspect many mechanisms are responsible for this. Regardless, the size of the LGBT population we treat does not change, and deserves treatment that is culturally COMPETENT, not just culturally non-judgemental. Tolerance and support are two very different things. Your voice will undoubtedly enrich the myriad voices that currently emanate from clinics.
And yet, you can't help others until you have helped yourself. The Fenway Community Health Center in Boston operates a hotline that you may find helpful (I used to answer calls there, myself). You can easily get the number from their website. If you don't want to call, then consider making a concerted and stragegic effort to be more transparent with the people that surround you. Do so safely and slowly; if you genuinely feel endangered, don't risk it. I think you'll be surprised at how things will go, however. But above all, hang in there. It gets easier.
