Your funniest OR story?

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pastafan

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I was just remembering an incident that still makes me laugh.

Years ago I was giving anesthesia for a guy having a herniorrhaphy under regional. I'm filling out my chart as the nurse starts to prep the patient. After lifting his gown I see the circulator turn beet red, speechless. I look down and the guy had put a post-it note on his penis saying "handle with care". I announced loudly to the room "who put this note saying cut here?" The patient, panicked, starts stammering "that's not what it says doc". Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.
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Funniest story I heard from a nurse was way back in 2000. One of the nervous nelly type of anesthesia docs. You know who those are. MD only. Couldn’t intubated. Yelled out in the room “someone call 911”. I’m not kidding

And the nurse has to promptly tell him “doc, you are 911”.
 
When I was in residency I would give versed to patients in holding right before taking them back. I gave versed to this one fat patient and she’s like oh this makes me feel good. Last time I got it I told my anesthesiologist he was sexy. She turns around to look at me and my coresident and she’s like I won’t have that problem this time. 🙁
 
I like to talk normally to some patients as they drift off to sleep to keep their mind off things....

As I'm pushing induction drugs

Me: "Blah, blah, blah..so what do you like to do when you're not in the hospital?"

With a straight face the patient: "Masturbate."

"Uh..." Starts pushing induction drugs faster

Guess what question I've stopped asking patients?
 
0kazak1 said:
I like to talk normally to some patients as they drift off to sleep to keep their mind off things....

As I'm pushing induction drugs

Me: "Blah, blah, blah..so what do you like to do when you're not in the hospital?"

With a straight face the patient: "Masturbate."

"Uh..." Starts pushing induction drugs faster

Guess what question I've stopped asking patients?
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me too high five!
 
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Dantrolene FC said:
I once did a MAC for an ~ 40 yo F. After starting the propofol infusion, she was starting to fall asleep and said “I want somebody to f*** me”.
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cchoukal said:
I've had one case just like that. I guess propofol can make people hypersexual.
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I never got that before...you two much be some sexy beast of an anesthesiologist.
 
Doing a screening colonoscopy on a guy in his 50s under propofol. The case is cruising along and out of the blue the guy wakes and becomes really clear headed. He starts telling me about the time his wife took a “giant dildo and shoved it right up his @ss, it hurt so bad doc. She said before I could do that to her, she had to do it to me.” Everyone in the room suddenly looks over to the head of the bed and are like “wtf did he just say”. I then proceeded to slam home 200mg of prope to shut him up.
 
I've maybe told this story here before, but when I was a resident, I had a female patient ask me to talk dirty to her when she was walking up (apropos, I guess, to the other thread on smooth wake-ups...). The long and short of it was she'd had a procedure before and woke up swinging and swearing at everyone, so she reasoned that if I would "make her feel sexy," she'd wake up more calmly. There was some back and forth and clarification that, no, she didn't want any of that "tender, paternal ****," but filthy, smutty vulgarity. My attending wasn't much help, just saying I should focus on what a nice person she probably was. Anyway, the case was fine and I obviously didn't say anything inappropriate (or I wouldn't be here), but it was seriously funny and awkward at the time.

Edit: in retrospect, I realize that I was probably 30 at the time, and the patient was in her mid-40s. I remember thinking I wasn't into older women, etc etc., but now, sadly, I am in my mid-40s... time has passed...
 
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Had a patient in residency who we did an axillary block for hand case, 50ish year old female about 60kg, 2mg versed, no issues with the block. All is well post block, 30 or 40 minutes later got her into the OR, she started moaning, massaging her breasts, masturbating furiously, yelling how much she wants it yada yada for about 20 minutes. She wasn't responding to us trying to calm her down but my attending was considering LAST if she's neurologically not with it, but she was hemodynamically stable and all that... Just gave her prop and she went to sleep. I believe she woke up with some mild recollection of what may have ensued but nobody wanted to worsen her embarrassment lol. That was definitely an interesting experience...
 
2Fast2Des said:
Had a patient in residency who we did an axillary block for hand case, 50ish year old female about 60kg, 2mg versed, no issues with the block. All is well post block, 30 or 40 minutes later got her into the OR, she started moaning, massaging her breasts, masturbating furiously, yelling how much she wants it yada yada for about 20 minutes. She wasn't responding to us trying to calm her down but my attending was considering LAST if she's neurologically not with it, but she was hemodynamically stable and all that... Just gave her prop and she went to sleep. I believe she woke up with some mild recollection of what may have ensued but nobody wanted to worsen her embarrassment lol. That was definitely an interesting experience...
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The block was not good if she could masturbate furiously😉
 
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Not an OR story

But last Halloween I was covering call at a community hospital and was in the ER for some reason when they called a code green (or whatever) for a belligerent patient.

Turns out she was intoxicated out of her gourd, which of course isn't all that unusual in an ER. But because she had the misfortune of being there on Halloween, she was surrounded by staff members in costume who were trying to talk her down and/or restrain her. There was a pirate, a cop, Tinkerbell, and a couple others. And she was freaking the hell out ... understandably so, given the characters chasing and trying to corner her.
 
Doing a brachial plexus block (supraclav? Interscalene? Can’t remember exactly) on a patient in residency, attending gives 1 of midaz and 10 or 20 of ketamine.
Patient looking at monitor says “whoa! That’s in my neck?!? So cool! . . . Oh my, I have Jabba the Hutt in my neck! . . . . . I feel so bad for my wife *gets sad and starts to sob*”
 
BobLoblaw78 said:
We had an endo case 5 years ago. Guy was getting a colonoscopy. He woke up obviously clear headed in the middle of the procedure. He opens one eye and says, "I'm not gay or anything, but this isn't thaaat bad." The guy got a quick dose of white stuff (are we still doing "phrasing"?)
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Phrasing.
 
DocVapor said:
One time starting to induce an 83 y/o very sweet woman, the surgeon got a little impatient and did his rectal exam a little early. She exclaimed: "Woah, that's the most action I've had in years!" Then promptly fell asleep.
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Could someone explain to this layman why a rectal exam was indicated????
 
Goro said:
Could someone explain to this layman why a rectal exam was indicated????
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If you don’t understand the medical field at this level, this is probably not the forum for you. No offense, but this forum is intended for people either in medicine or about to be. You seem to be inferring that something out of line occurred, which is not the case, based on what was written.
 
Goro said:
Could someone explain to this layman why a rectal exam was indicated????
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I should have mentioned the procedure was a colonoscopy. Every surgeon and GI doc that I've worked with all do a digital rectal exam prior to inserting the colonoscope. Not only does it let them asses for anything that might be an immediate impediment to scope placement (i.e. something that would arise before they can use the scope camera to visualize anything) but it also helps lube up the rectum and makes things a little more gentle.
 
Gern Blansten said:
If you don’t understand the medical field at this level, this is probably not the forum for you. No offense, but this forum is intended for people either in medicine or about to be. You seem to be inferring that something out of line occurred, which is not the case, based on what was written.
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Your reading interpretation skills leave much to be desired. I was simply asking why the surgeon would do that. DocVapor understood why I was asking.

And this forum is one of SDN's best, and this thread is terrific.
 
McPoyle said:
So…. Was not in America… but during a cardiac case shortly after induction and during placement of the foley… one of the local med students exclaimed… “oh! You provide anesthesia through the vagina???!!!”
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Could someone explain to this layman why a vaginal anesthesia was indicated????
 
pgg said:
Not an OR story

But last Halloween I was covering call at a community hospital and was in the ER for some reason when they called a code green (or whatever) for a belligerent patient.

Turns out she was intoxicated out of her gourd, which of course isn't all that unusual in an ER. But because she had the misfortune of being there on Halloween, she was surrounded by staff members in costume who were trying to talk her down and/or restrain her. There was a pirate, a cop, Tinkerbell, and a couple others. And she was freaking the hell out ... understandably so, given the characters chasing and trying to corner her.
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we had a code on halloween and similar story. at point i look around and see an absolutely surreal scene: Dorothy from Oz giving compressions, an MD kitted out as Bozo the clown w face paint and rainbow wig preparing to intubate, myself dressed as a football player, the attending dressed as disco stu having "the talk" w the family outside the room ......

It's a little unethical but every year since i push hard to allow staff dressing up :laugh:
 
I am the patient in this story.. I was headed in for shoulder surgery and my orthopedic surgeon was a former Division 1 college football player for the local team. At the time of my surgery, another former player from the same team was the head coach and they were not doing well.

Pre-op, anesthesiologist gives me a touch of what I assume was IV Versed because I was a bit nervous (but maybe it wasn't, because I definitely remember what I said).

A few minutes later, my surgeon comes over for the last minute pep talk "see you in the OR" stuff.

I say "HEY! You know what we haven't talked about?! Coach Such and Such is doing an absolutely TERRIBLE job"

Surgeon says "listen I'm going to stop you right there, he was my roommate in college and remains a very good friend".

/facepalm
 
Too many good ones to mention...

When we first started using propofol - we had a guy telling a joke as he drifted off - and as he woke up, he delivered the punch line like he'd never missed a beat.

For a colonoscopy on the husband of one of our OR nurses - as the scope was first inserted he said "oh baby, you know I love it when you do that".
 
This one always sticks with me. Had a 40-something year old guy with thick Russian accent. I am doing my normal pre-op spiel.

Me: Have you had any problems with anesthesia?
Pt: Anastasia my ex wife! We have many prubluhm!
Me: (laughing) But seriously - any problems with anesthesia? Family members with anesthesia problems?
Pt: Yes! EVERYONE have prubluhm with Anastasia. No one in family like her!
 
ISoNitrous said:
This one always sticks with me. Had a 40-something year old guy with thick Russian accent. I am doing my normal pre-op spiel.

Me: Have you had any problems with anesthesia?
Pt: Anastasia my ex wife! We have many prubluhm!
Me: (laughing) But seriously - any problems with anesthesia? Family members with anesthesia problems?
Pt: Yes! EVERYONE have prubluhm with Anastasia. No one in family like her!
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Wish I could like this one ten times. Great story.
 
Dropped a young lady off in PACU as a resident.after a brief procedure. Her HR was like 115. During report I indicated that she did fine, but she was a "little tachy " through the whole procedure. She woke up, struggled drunkenly up on her elbows and announced with slurred speech...I am NOT! The nurse and I both laughed.. and tried to explain.
 
Dropped a lady off after I think it was a long propofol anesthetic for some reason. In PACU she aroused startled...

Lady: "Where am I? What time is it? What's going on?" starts to break out into tears.
Me: "What's going on? are you ok?"
Lady: "Oh I'm fine, I'm just remembering my uncle, he died 9 years ago but was so special to me. He used to always tell the same stupid joke at Thanksgiving every year."
Me: "And what was the joke?"
Lady: "What do you call a male snowman?"
Me: "I dunno, what?"
Lady: "Snow-balls"

*Chuckling from staff around her*... patient falls back asleep.
Me, taps her on the shoulder, "Lady, are you awake?" She startles awake again, same look on her face as before...

Lady: "Where am I? What time is it? What's going on?" starts to break out into tears.
Me: "What's going on? are you ok?"
Lady: "Oh I'm fine, I'm just remembering my uncle."
Me: "Oh that's so sad. Can I tell you a joke to cheer you up?"
Lady: "OK"
Me: "What do you call a male snowman?"
Lady: Eyes go bug-eyed "Snow-balls! Where did you hear that joke?"
Me: "Oh, I heard it from some guy standing in line shopping for thanksgiving about 10 years ago or so. Funny guy!"

Lady gets tearful "That was my uncle!", falls asleep.
Me, taps her on the shoulder, "Lady, are you awake?" She startles awake AGAIN with the same look on her face...

Lady: "Where am I? What time is it? What's going on?" starts to break out into tears.
Me: It'll be ok, you're just waking up from anesthesia, you're in the hospital and just finished your procedure.

I felt like I had my fun and didn't have it in me to keep going so I left and moved on with my day.
 
New Year, I feel like we some joy in our lives. So gonna bump this and see if anyone has any new stories.

Edit: Not something super funny or OR related. But, I had to take a family member to the ED (they're doing fine), and one of the ED residents said "Unless, you know something I don't...."

I felt kind of bad when I replied, "Um, actually...."
 
Great thread, can't believe this is the first time I'm seeing it...

So in one of the OR's I used to work at, the anesthesia machine, or more accurately, the back of it with all the lines, was right next to the door to the center core. One of the CRNA's I was with was telling me a skit from The Office. Then I look around the room and happen to notice the placement of the machine, and a light bulb just went off. So a few weeks later, I walk into that same room, and an anesthesiologist was doing a case in there. So as I walk in, I make a little show of stopping, screwing up my face, and make sniffing noises, right next to the machine and its lines. I do it for a few seconds and get closer to the anesthesiologist. He sees me and what I'm doing and has a slight perplexed look on his face. Perfect, I think to myself, the trap is set. I look at him and just ask, "hey, is it me, or does it smell like updog in here?" Him, with his guard down, just asks, "what's updog?" I look at him, smile, and just say "not much dog, what's up with you?" Then I turn around and promptly leave the room.

I did this around the department for a few weeks, until people were onto me. In one situation I go up to the charge nurse and say something like "the refrigerator in the break room smells awful, I think you need to call someone or something, cuz it smells like updog, dude". He fell for it too. In various situations, I got surgeons, nurses, anesthesiologists, techs, you name it. Some people I guess watched The Office, so no dice there.
 
When I was a resident, I finished an ortho case, pulled the LMA, and the 20 something kid immediately said, "heated blanket and chemical dreams." Everyone in the room started laughing.

Fairly recently, I was putting the leads on, and I said I was going to unbutton the top of the gown, so I didn't strangle the patient with the red lead. He said, "But what if I like being strangled?" and winked. I need to change my phrasing, but I haven't yet. No one else has said that.
 
50-something Caucasian woman having a surgery under propofol sedation (hand surgery I think, can't remember). I gave her 2mg midazolam and she almost immediately closed her eyes and responded with "Awwwww S*** yeah! I'm the mother F***ing D. O. Double G."

Then as we rolled to the OR and put her on monitors and I started the propofol, she sang "The Next Episode" by Dre and Snoop word for word, even as she was falling asleep. When the prop was off, as she started waking up (though, eyes still closed), she went right back into it before she even moved her body or head. It was amazing and hysterical.
 
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