Long post ahead
Hey guys. I’m posting in here because I could really use some support. This is my first post on any Internet forum of any kind, lol. I’ve been a lurker here for a while and it’s been nice to see some of the support that others have gotten and to see the celebrations of others that have persisted and finally gotten accepted. I’ll try to summarize as best as possible.
I’m a reapplicant who is nearing the end of the 3rd application cycle. The first year I applied, I (miraculously) was waitlisted at one of my top choices, choice X. My grades from a very competitive undergrad school were a 3.2x and my MCAT was a high 50x. I KNOW those aren’t stellar stats. I went through a lot in undergrad, and that definitely reflected academically. I tried to apply to specific schools that fit my wants/interests which is what I think contributed to my waitlist in the first place. The main feedback I got from my first cycle was to take more science classes and raise my GPA. Fair criticism. I contacted my undergrad and asked about SMPs vs post bacc, and I ultimately decided on an SMP because I already had significant shadow, volunteer, research and extracurricular experience since I went into undergrad wanting to go to med school. I applied to two programs, one of them being choice Y and another (unimportant) school. I picked choice Y because of a lot of personal factors, better fit for me, and it was one of the schools I was initially very interested in.
When I was talking to my undergraduate school about 1 year SMP versus post bacc, they were very straightforward in saying that I had to be very real with myself in knowing that I could get a good GPA (3.5-6+) in the SMP program to stand a chance at getting into medical school. I was told that SMP‘s do have a high success rate in acceptance to medical school, but only if you do well. I knew I could do it, so I decided on school Y. I took it as a chance to hone my study skills, and really invest myself in learning.
I reapplied during the year of my SMP at the advice of the advisors in the SMP. I applied very broadly like many applicants do, but I had my eye on the two original schools, school X and school Y where I was currently a student. That school traditionally had a strong linkage. I was devastated when the day after submitting my secondary application to school X, I was immediately rejected. I must have just been filtered out unfortunately. Given that I was previously waitlisted, I was completely blindsided, but I decided to focus on school Y because I was adjusting and really getting to know the school. I was doing very well grade wise, and I thought I would be able to see myself at school Y as a medical student. To top it all off, I met my current fiancé, who is a physician at school Y.
Throughout the year, all of us students had meetings with various advisors, talking about our progress and expectations. I never once received an ounce of bad feedback. I was even asked to teacher assistant for some classes after I did exceptionally well in a few of them. I was told that I had a fantastic interview and would be a fantastic medical student.
Near the end of last year, I was told by the program advisor who sits on the medical school admissions committee that I would either be accepted this year (now last year) or definitely next year (now this year). I was very stressed to hear that I might have to apply again. I was told to be patient and wait on their waitlist because I had a strong application for their school.
I asked the program director if I absolutely had to apply again, if I had any areas to improve, and I was told no. I also said that I only wanted to apply to school X from my original application year and this school (school Y) because applications were expensive, and these were the only two schools that I had a real passion about and would really go to. I was told that that was appropriate and that my statistics for those two schools were on target. I ended the program with an on target GPA (3.6+) and I fully expected to be admitted. I waited the entire summer with the expectation of being admitted, but I was ultimately rejected and I was devastated. I had to scramble to find a job last minute and sign a lease for a year without a job. I ended up finding a great job for me, and reapplied after having school Y review my application one more time. School Y, while one of my in-state schools, is an area that I have no family and no friends in, but I decided to stay in the area because I fully expected to be admitted and I wanted to stay with my fiancé.
In September, I received interview invites for school X from my original year and school Y, as expected. I was very excited and looking forward to being finally admitted after doing everything possible for myself. I stayed in touch with admissions committee, and my current job wrote a fantastic letter of recommendation for me. My interviews at both schools I felt went very well and I was complemented during them for my persistence and the quality of my application.
Fast forward to now and I am currently waitlisted at both schools AGAIN. I have sent many update letters, many new letters of recommendation, met with many people at both schools, including the dean of both schools and told that I am a fantastic student, and would be an asset to any class, but I have yet to be accepted.
I am absolutely devastated. This process has taken every ounce of self-confidence, trust, and work ethic out of me. My MCAT score is also expiring this year and I am miserable thinking about retaking it. On top of that, this process has drained so much energy, money and happiness from me, that I feel like I am being a terrible fiancé. He is trying to be as supportive as possible but he is also at a loss. It physically hurts to talk about being on a waitlist again to family and friends that I’ve only ever thought that I would be such a great physician. Many physicians, that I have shadowed and worked with have also said the same thing that they don’t understand this process.
I understand that this process is tough on everyone. I also enjoy seeing people finally get accepted after years of hard work, but I wonder why it hasn’t been me. I feel lied to and duped by this whole process. I feel like I was promised something by a lot of people, and then let down. There have been so many supportive people that have helped me along the way, and I feel like I have just let every single one of them down. I know this is nobody’s fault, but I’m just so upset.
I also feel like I was receptive to feedback at various points during this process and the only feedback I ever received was to take more science classes and improve my GPA, which I did. I genuinely don’t know what to do and I’m starting to just crumble.
To anyone who made it all the way to the end. Thanks for listening. I hope you all get accepted to your schools and I would appreciate any words of encouragement.
