26 years Old Applying Medical School

[makingdecisions]

As if this issue hasn't been brought up before... but I'm 27 years old and in the process of applying to medical school. As I'm going through this process, I'm rethinking things through again. I won't back down and discard my application efforts---I want to find out whether I could get into medical school and fulfill my dream of becoming a physician. BUT I was already thinking that if I get accepted into medical school and become a medical student and eventually a physician.. how in the world am I suppose to get married and raise a family?

I've already debated it straight through my head countless times and been able to shadow various female physicians to a substantial degree. I've seen them hire nannies, or have their kids raised partly by their in-laws or forgo pregnancy until later in residency, or get into pediatrics where it's not really an issue. xyz. this and that scenario. And I've seen people in medical school get engaged, married, pregnant.. all that. But I feel like my case doesn't apply to the scenarios I've observed. I'm female, asian and currently not in any committed relationship. And that's not to single me out or like put some red scarlet letter on me, but I guess what I mean is that, it's kinda different (I guess you would get it only if you were raised of a particular ethnicity..)

I've wanted to be a physician my entire life and it's been a great opportunity (and laborious process) to get to this point to even apply---so I'm glad actually to find out whether this is going to happen or not.... but sometimes when I critically evalute the situation and own up to who I am and who I am not and I see that all these females that got engaged and married were caucasian and 22-24 years old. And that they also had been in long term relationships or have boyfriends, fiances or spouses who had normal jobs like normal people do. I just sigh because I'm like as if it isn't hard enough to find someone compatible in life in general to fall in love with and partner up with... how many more hurdles are going to be on this one if you're older, different background ethnicity and have certain family principles you'd hope your spouse would also believe in.

Now, I would say that I'm reasonably attractive and have a social personality.. I'm not some homely girl who couldn't get a date with dudes... but I KNOW that if I were to get into medical school, that would change the balance of the equation for potential relationships somewhere down the future. And I KNOW realistically that good grief, I kinda want an asian spouse because of similar backgrounds (whatever it's my preference), and just the freakin commitment of time devoted to medical training... how hard it would be.

It sucks because I don't want to base a decision on marriage.. but I don't want to be some single chick at 30 and like mid swing in a career...But there's a more probable risk I wouldn't get married or even have the time to meet a potential mate... and then dealing with kids..and that whole life path.


Maybe this won't matter at all because I'll get rejected every where and have to scrape my blank back to the drawing board and build up my requirements for another health care field... but I have to bring this point up.

I guess I'm basically venting.

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[makingdecisions]

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[KingstonPre]

Do you know how many guys out there would marry a doctor at the drop of a hat?


...me being one of them.

 

[akinetopsia]

I realize you are venting, but...

You can still have what you want, but of course sacrifices would have to be made. You can still get married to an Asian spouse, have kids, and a successful career. A friend of mine, during her intern year, told me her plan with her current (serious!) boyfriend: get married second year, and get pregnant during her chief year so she could have the baby after, and take some time off with the baby before starting her first job as an attending.

A lot of the things you want are going to be dependent on where you choose to go to medical school (where you get in), for examle if the school is in an urban, suburban or rural setting may affect the pool of potential Asian male mates for you to date, and what specialty you end up matching into, as some probably coalesce a little easier with a burgeoning family will affect your family decisions and life as well.

I wouldn't worry too much about all of this stuff. Things have a habit of falling into place, at least in my experience. If we can assume from your word you're reasonably attractive and not socially awkward, you should have no problem meeting dudes, of course you will be pretty busy as a med student and resident, so you may have to turn to something like online dating (I know a bunch of of residents who have done this, some successfully, some somewhat successfully, very few unsuccessfully).

 

[agirl]

deleted

Do you know how many guys out there would marry a doctor at the drop of a hat?


...me being one of them.

 

[BrainBox]

I think with any upper health care providers, especially physicians, we tend to give up things for our careers. It's a personal choice. If you feel that becoming a physician is your most important calling in your life then you should go for it. Everything tends to work itself out.

As far as the age things....I'm 28 and want nothing more then to become a neurosurgeon. I know people in their 30s going to medical school. So you are definitely young. ;-)

Best of luck.

 

[blueflower77]

I believe in destiny. I believe that if you haven't found the "right guy" then there is one out there for you, you just haven't met him yet. How do you know, that when you start medical school that you won't be sitting to your future spouse in your gross anatomy class!? Maybe that first cadaver dissection on Halloween, late at night, while you're trying to cram for a test isn't going to put you and your future spouse together because he'll be there also studying? (That's what actually happened to my friend who was 32, so you're ahead of the game).

You know, I'm 26 and will be applying to med school when I'm 27 and I am already married (a whole post in itself, talk about coincidence) and my biggest debate right now is whether we should have kids before/during or after medical school/residency. Because let's face it - by the time I'm done - I'll be 35 if not older... I spoke with a few physicians from work and they were also non traditional students (some started with kids, some had during) and they ALL said that medical school programs AND all residency programs work with their students/trainees around pregnancies/kids, etc. Why do you think then that in the residency MATCH, they TRY to put the spouses together in the same hospital/area? That's because this is a road frequently traveled by many and you (or I) would not be the first ones. Is it an easy road? No. But is it possible? SURE!

I say, be happy and do what you've always wanted to do. If you're happy, other people will be drawn to you and you'll fall in love and meet the right guy at the right time! You only live once so do what you would love to do! Otherwise, being sad for a vague person who doesn't exist yet in your life (or already does and you just don't know it!) isn't worth your time.

 

[murfettie]

i'm in a similar position.
i know i might get flamed for this, but i kind of gave up on asian guys and i live in LA, the center of asian people. i don't care anymore, this cultural gap stuff with non-asian guys is not super easy to deal with, but it's doable.
my experience has been really bad because it' s extremely difficult for me to deal with all the asian moms who think i'm insane. i'm only 24 btw, when will she have babies!
don't worry about it so much.. chill pill~