[3rd year medical student] Feel like I'm not inherently smart enough to be an oncologist

[doctorforall12]

Hey guys. I recently posted about my step 1 score of a 223 asking if I'd have a chance to match anywhere down the line (you guys said yes). This community is amazing and I'm really grateful for all the advice. I'm not sure if any if you thought this in med school, but I feel like a part of me thinks that I'm not smart enough to become an oncologist.

I'm relatively new to the world of oncology and my interest is only a couple months old. I wasn't one of the people who knew they really wanted to do heme-onc from day 1. I'm on my heme-onc rotation right now and I'm just always stunned at the breadth of knowledge that the fellows and especially attendings have. Citing landmark trials and listing off a multitude of chemo regimens effortlessly. Their being able to transform to the prototypical internist and connecting every single organ system of the body is truly astounding.

I know this sounds really stupid and that 3 years of residency and 3 years of fellowship is what is takes to be a master, but I can't help the feeling of low confidence in my own abilities. I'm not sure if this is step 1 related or general med school stuff. Again, I really appreciate you all and would love some advice!

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[lulu09]

Please, and I don't mean to be rude -- stop thinking like this, match an IM residency, and worry about this after your intern year of residency. Trying to get a sense of what fellowship is like as a medical student is literally that parable of blind men feeling an elephant and trying to describe it.

Furthermore, keep your mind open and continue to explore your options. You are completely undifferentiated right now and you even say that your interest is only a few months old. What if later on in the year you suddenly develop an interest in pulm/crit? Rheumatology? Allergy/Immunology? I didn't decide on IM until my third year is almost over, and then H/O only when I was almost a second year in residency.

 

[CatFactorial]

It becomes second nature as you treat more patients. Don't sweat it, advocate for your patients.

Also 3 years of residency and 3 years of fellowship = beginner.

 

[doctorforall12]

Please, and I don't mean to be rude -- stop thinking like this, match an IM residency, and worry about this after your intern year of residency. Trying to get a sense of what fellowship is like as a medical student is literally that parable of blind men feeling an elephant and trying to describe it.

Furthermore, keep your mind open and continue to explore your options. You are completely undifferentiated right now and you even say that your interest is only a few months old. What if later on in the year you suddenly develop an interest in pulm/crit? Rheumatology? Allergy/Immunology? I didn't decide on IM until my third year is almost over, and then H/O only when I was almost a second year in residency.

thank you for that, and that's not rude at all! This is the kind of advice I need. Fortunately, I'm surrounded by people in my life who support me every step of the way. Unfortunately, sometimes my friends and family don't give me criticism. I absolutely want to let all of third year sink in before I choose IM and I will continue to keep an open mind in residency. Thank you!

 

[QuizzicalApe]

I'm relatively new to the world of oncology and my interest is only a couple months old. I wasn't one of the people who knew they really wanted to do heme-onc from day 1. I'm on my heme-onc rotation right now and I'm just always stunned at the breadth of knowledge that the fellows and especially attendings have. Citing landmark trials and listing off a multitude of chemo regimens effortlessly.

I guarantee it isn't effortless; it's the product of a lot of work and probably grilling from attendings they've worked with themselves.

I know this sounds really stupid and that 3 years of residency and 3 years of fellowship is what is takes to be a master, but I can't help the feeling of low confidence in my own abilities.

The secret is that no matter what field you go into, it's going to take a lot longer than the duration of your formal training to become a master.

Right now you're comparing the plot of your first page to someone else's completed novel. Just keep working, you'll get there. What you're perceiving as brilliance is just the end result of many years of hard work and repetition.

 

[gutonc]

Hey guys. I recently posted about my step 1 score of a 223 asking if I'd have a chance to match anywhere down the line (you guys said yes). This community is amazing and I'm really grateful for all the advice. I'm not sure if any if you thought this in med school, but I feel like a part of me thinks that I'm not smart enough to become an oncologist.

I'm relatively new to the world of oncology and my interest is only a couple months old. I wasn't one of the people who knew they really wanted to do heme-onc from day 1. I'm on my heme-onc rotation right now and I'm just always stunned at the breadth of knowledge that the fellows and especially attendings have. Citing landmark trials and listing off a multitude of chemo regimens effortlessly. Their being able to transform to the prototypical internist and connecting every single organ system of the body is truly astounding.

I know this sounds really stupid and that 3 years of residency and 3 years of fellowship is what is takes to be a master, but I can't help the feeling of low confidence in my own abilities. I'm not sure if this is step 1 related or general med school stuff. Again, I really appreciate you all and would love some advice!

If it makes you feel any better, I'm 8 years into being an attending and I'm the director of my group and I barely feel like I'm smart enough for this.

 

[doctorforall12]

I guarantee it isn't effortless; it's the product of a lot of work and probably grilling from attendings they've worked with themselves.

Thanks for the response! Yeah, I know it’s definitely unfair to compare. I forgot to put in the post my respect for all the years of hard work and training you all do. I definitely didn’t mean to say that it came easy or without blood, sweat, and tears.

The secret is that no matter what field you go into, it's going to take a lot longer than the duration of your formal training to become a master.

Right now you're comparing the plot of your first page to someone else's completed novel. Just keep working, you'll get there. What you're perceiving as brilliance is just the end result of many years of hard work and repetition.