A serious problem I have: Secretary talking behind my back

[spootbat]

So on the first day of my clerkship, my classmates and I meet the secretary of the department. She is very friendly and helpful, but most of all talkative. She says, with a smile on her face the whole time, how unsatisfactory the current medical students are (who are from another medical school), and she gives anecdotes about how stupid and bad they are. We all laugh.

Fast forward to today. I now realize that those same medical students are actually good, hardworking people. That should have been a warning sign that this secretary acts like she is so friendly but is actually vengeful, and she talks crap about you behind your back.

The other day I missed a lecture because I was doing rounds with an attending, and didn't know about the lecture until too late. The residents don't care, and the attending who gave the lecture doesn't care, but the secretary DOES care. I think she takes it personally when you miss one of the lectures, regardless of your excuse. She has actually said that she will go down to the OR to pull you out of a surgery if there is a lecture scheduled. She really doesn't care about an excuse.

She has particular high access to the clerkship director, who doesn't get out much. I am worried that she will talk behind my back negatively about me with him, which affects my grade.

I went to apologize to her the day after. She kind of deflected it and passive aggressively denigrated me, avoiding eye contact and smiling while looking away.


How can I fix this? Is it even possible to repair this damage? Maybe I can bring some sort of pastry for the department. It sure is frustrating to deal with a person as childish and petty as this secretary.

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[OveractiveBrain]

So on the first day of my clerkship, my classmates and I meet the secretary of the department. She is very friendly and helpful, but most of all talkative. She says, with a smile on her face the whole time, how unsatisfactory the current medical students are (who are from another medical school), and she gives anecdotes about how stupid and bad they are. We all laugh.

Fast forward to today. I now realize that those same medical students are actually good, hardworking people. That should have been a warning sign that this secretary acts like she is so friendly but is actually vengeful, and she talks crap about you behind your back.

The other day I missed a lecture because I was doing rounds with an attending, and didn't know about the lecture until too late. The residents don't care, and the attending who gave the lecture doesn't care, but the secretary DOES care. I think she takes it personally when you miss one of the lectures, regardless of your excuse. She has actually said that she will go down to the OR to pull you out of a surgery if there is a lecture scheduled. She really doesn't care about an excuse.

She has particular high access to the clerkship director, who doesn't get out much. I am worried that she will talk behind my back negatively about me with him, which affects my grade.

I went to apologize to her the day after. She kind of deflected it and passive aggressively denigrated me, avoiding eye contact and smiling while looking away.


How can I fix this? Is it even possible to repair this damage? Maybe I can bring some sort of pastry for the department. It sure is frustrating to deal with a person as childish and petty as this secretary.

Su Su Su SURGERY! Surgery pwns med students' lives. Sorry bra, I think you are SOL. Unless you want to do surgery, I think there's nothing you can do about it. You sound like you go to my medical school, where the secretary sat in on the committee that decides to increase or decrease your final grade. She likes you, honors. She didn't like you, pass. No joke.

(If you've been reading some other of my posts, this ISNT why I had to appeal my high pass from a pass, though she definitely did not help).

 

[isoquin]

First off, I doubt it has much pull on your grade, unless you suspect she is altering evaluations to purposely give you a lower grade. Think about this from a course director's point of view: 10 resident evaluations which all say you rock and a shelf exam score to prove it.... and one secretary who says you're a very naughty med student. Hopefully there is some objectivity here that will win out.

If however this advice is not as reassuring as you would have liked, your other option is to contact the course director. This is always tricky depending on the person, especially on surgery. I've heard of some that are stereotypical gruff surgeons who will tell you to suck it up, and others who will completely get your back. The middle ground is just dropping them an e-mail for documentation purposes. Either way, you have more to go in the rotation, so see how things pan out. Best of luck.

 

[Rendar5]

I don't think you have much to worry about since it seems like she does this passive-aggressive **** to everyone. Doubt you're gonna be able to please her. Trying to fix it with her would just make it worse, I think.

 

[OpalOnyx]

Honestly i wouldn't have apologized, unless she had noticed and asked me about it. To someone so passive aggressive about everyone, you can bet that there are a couple of critques she'll miss while she's keeping tabs on everybody else. Just be nice nice super nice. And limit your time with her as much as possible.

I think we have a couple of people like that at my school, but they honestly don't have much bearing gradewise if everything else is good.

 

[1Life]

Your predicament is understandable. At the end, it was her problem, not yours. I agree with the previous comments that your outcome depends more on your residents' and attending's feedback.

People like her alienate themselves from others and life is actually 10x more miserable for them than those around them (although they put up a fake face). All of this due to their own character flaw. So, if they find a person who truly understands their reality and is patient with them, then they will like you. You don't even have to participate in any "talking behind someone's back". If she ends up having a big say in your grade, then it's time for rapport building with the time you have left with her.