Anyone else feel like they're behind and a cultural failure?

[culturalfailure]

I'm a typical failure. I have no one to blame but myself. I'm a very non-traditional student from a culture where being non-traditional is heavily frowned upon. I'm a social outcast in many ways and I've ****ed up my whole life.
I took 7 years to finish undergrad. I transferred to a new school after 3 years for some stupid reason which I regret to this day and ****ed up my GPA. And by ****ed up I mean literally that. 2.2-2.4 range. 8Fs, 6Ds, 4 Ws, and ****loads of Cs. The reason? My ******* decided partying and smoking weed was a better way to spend time than actually making something of myself.
So I barely graduated and scraped by with a degree at the age of 25. I worked as a research technician for a year at a medical school. Seeing those typical young and cocky med students being happy just made my feelings of worthlessness multiply. I knew that if I hadn't been such a screw up, I could be there with them.
On top of this, I'm Indian. Indian pre meds are MDs by 25 at the latest. I have never seen a premed from my cultural background older than 26. Certainly not someone my age (28) and only beginning to apply to med school. Dealing with that cultural aspect and all the snide passive aggressive **** I get from people I know is a lot of fun.
I worked hard, got good references and was accepted into the masters program at the med school where I busted my ass and got a 3.8 gpa. Some of the classes I took were actual M1 and M2 classes alongside med students where I managed to score in the top 20% of the class. I've learned that med students are typical type A nerds and HATE getting lower scores than people who aren't med students (aka aren't "at their level"). Its such a sweet feeling to dish out that humble brag to them that all of them do all the time.
Anyway I digress, Im now going through my first application cycle as an Indian premed at the ripe old age of 28. I have a 2.4 undergrad GPA a 3.8 masters GPA that no med school will give a ***k about, and I have a 29 MCAT. It's no surprise that I haven't received crap so far, meanwhile, my 23 and 24 year old cousins are interviewing at Duke and UPenn. Of course, they're smart and worked their assess off during the years of undergrad unlike me. Im a failure and its my fault I shat my undergrad GPA.
The only reason why I didn't apply to the Caribbean years ago was because I didn't want too spend all that money for the risk of not matching. Now it seems that its my only hope.
Any other fellow non-trad cultural failures here?

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[WGSgrad]

I understand how you feel. I went to a non-HYP Ivy and I have friends (fellow alums) who already multi-millionaires...including my best friend. I performed poorly and I am just starting the long road to GPA repair/recovery and I'm two years older than you are. Not a single person in my life supports the idea of me practicing medicine and that is rough. I understand the regret in your post. I really do.

But I think you're at that moment of, "How bad do you want this?" If you really want this, there is a way, and SDN will definitely be a resource in finding it.

You post didn't ask for help or suggestions, but assuming you're not just here for the commiseration (this is your first post), more senior members/adcoms, their going to need more information:

1) What is your cGPA and sGPA now? Does the 2.4 include post-baccalaureate classes?
2) Do you have As in all of your prerequsites? (I assume you couldn't get into an SMP without taking the prerequsites.)
3) Did you apply DO? If so, what was your GPA with grade replacement?
4) How many times did you take the MCAT to get the 29?
5) Where did you apply?

Again, if you are just here to commiserate, then may the party continue. If you want the folks on the forum to help, they will need more information.

 

[Mad Jack]

I'm from a family of rednecks. Just not ending up in prison and having a record kept me from becoming a cultural failure. My lack of faith in one Donald Trump has not, however, served me well with my family.

 

[BluMist]

If your only hope is the Caribbean, then you should consider alternatives to medicine.

If you are serious about this path, the conventional advice is to retake your undergrad classes and apply DO. You also need a higher MCAT score. If you are confident that you've turned things around, then prove it to the adcoms.

 

[QofQuimica]

I suppose by some standards, I'm a "cultural failure" as a Jew, too. I dropped out of Hebrew school, didn't get Bat Mitzvahed, and came out as a staunch secular humanist. I also didn't marry another Jew, didn't have children, and frequently disobeyed my parents and disregarded their advice as a young adult. Never mind grades; I went to a college that doesn't even offer any. Still, I found a path that works for me.

With all respect for your struggle in your life journey, I humbly would suggest that perhaps you aren't really pursuing medicine for the right reasons. Wanting to show up the med students you know to boost your own ego, and wanting to "keep up with the Patels," so to speak, are not good reasons to pursue this career. In fact, they're very, very bad ones.

I suggest that you get out of school, work for a while, and do whatever you have to do to find something outside of yourself that gives you a purpose and motivation to get out of bed every day. Some purpose that makes you feel like a decent human being with something valuable to contribute to yourself, your fellow man, and society. And for sure some purpose that doesn't depend on making you look good at the expense of other people, and that doesn't depend on whatever everyone else happens to be doing.

 

[beestrng]

28 year old non traditional failure checking in.

 

[Goro]

You're fine for any DO school, including mine. Do you want to be a doctor. MD is out of bounds due to the MCAT score, unless you live a very lucky state like TX, LA, KS etc., which highly favor their own residents, OR the mMD school where you're doing your SMP. The program is a backdoor in, after all.

If you're boning for that MD, retake and ace the MCAT (513+).

And quit feeling sorry for yourself. You're an adult now. Get some therapy for help with your self-esteem issues.

I'm a typical failure. I have no one to blame but myself. I'm a very non-traditional student from a culture where being non-traditional is heavily frowned upon. I'm a social outcast in many ways and I've ****ed up my whole life.
I took 7 years to finish undergrad. I transferred to a new school after 3 years for some stupid reason which I regret to this day and ****ed up my GPA. And by ****ed up I mean literally that. 2.2-2.4 range. 8Fs, 6Ds, 4 Ws, and ****loads of Cs. The reason? My ******* decided partying and smoking weed was a better way to spend time than actually making something of myself.
So I barely graduated and scraped by with a degree at the age of 25. I worked as a research technician for a year at a medical school. Seeing those typical young and cocky med students being happy just made my feelings of worthlessness multiply. I knew that if I hadn't been such a screw up, I could be there with them.
On top of this, I'm Indian. Indian pre meds are MDs by 25 at the latest. I have never seen a premed from my cultural background older than 26. Certainly not someone my age (28) and only beginning to apply to med school. Dealing with that cultural aspect and all the snide passive aggressive **** I get from people I know is a lot of fun.
I worked hard, got good references and was accepted into the masters program at the med school where I busted my ass and got a 3.8 gpa. Some of the classes I took were actual M1 and M2 classes alongside med students where I managed to score in the top 20% of the class. I've learned that med students are typical type A nerds and HATE getting lower scores than people who aren't med students (aka aren't "at their level"). Its such a sweet feeling to dish out that humble brag to them that all of them do all the time.
Anyway I digress, Im now going through my first application cycle as an Indian premed at the ripe old age of 28. I have a 2.4 undergrad GPA a 3.8 masters GPA that no med school will give a ***k about, and I have a 29 MCAT. It's no surprise that I haven't received crap so far, meanwhile, my 23 and 24 year old cousins are interviewing at Duke and UPenn. Of course, they're smart and worked their assess off during the years of undergrad unlike me. Im a failure and its my fault I shat my undergrad GPA.
The only reason why I didn't apply to the Caribbean years ago was because I didn't want too spend all that money for the risk of not matching. Now it seems that its my only hope.
Any other fellow non-trad cultural failures here?

 

[Law2Doc]

I'm a typical failure. I have no one to blame but myself. I'm a very non-traditional student from a culture where being non-traditional is heavily frowned upon. I'm a social outcast in many ways and I've ****ed up my whole life.
I took 7 years to finish undergrad. I transferred to a new school after 3 years for some stupid reason which I regret to this day and ****ed up my GPA. And by ****ed up I mean literally that. 2.2-2.4 range. 8Fs, 6Ds, 4 Ws, and ****loads of Cs. The reason? My ******* decided partying and smoking weed was a better way to spend time than actually making something of myself.
So I barely graduated and scraped by with a degree at the age of 25. I worked as a research technician for a year at a medical school. Seeing those typical young and cocky med students being happy just made my feelings of worthlessness multiply. I knew that if I hadn't been such a screw up, I could be there with them.
On top of this, I'm Indian. Indian pre meds are MDs by 25 at the latest. I have never seen a premed from my cultural background older than 26. Certainly not someone my age (28) and only beginning to apply to med school. Dealing with that cultural aspect and all the snide passive aggressive **** I get from people I know is a lot of fun.
I worked hard, got good references and was accepted into the masters program at the med school where I busted my ass and got a 3.8 gpa. Some of the classes I took were actual M1 and M2 classes alongside med students where I managed to score in the top 20% of the class. I've learned that med students are typical type A nerds and HATE getting lower scores than people who aren't med students (aka aren't "at their level"). Its such a sweet feeling to dish out that humble brag to them that all of them do all the time.
Anyway I digress, Im now going through my first application cycle as an Indian premed at the ripe old age of 28. I have a 2.4 undergrad GPA a 3.8 masters GPA that no med school will give a ***k about, and I have a 29 MCAT. It's no surprise that I haven't received crap so far, meanwhile, my 23 and 24 year old cousins are interviewing at Duke and UPenn. Of course, they're smart and worked their assess off during the years of undergrad unlike me. Im a failure and its my fault I shat my undergrad GPA.
The only reason why I didn't apply to the Caribbean years ago was because I didn't want too spend all that money for the risk of not matching. Now it seems that its my only hope.
Any other fellow non-trad cultural failures here?

If your sense of success and failure are determined by other than your own goals and abilities, you've already lost this battle. you can be a success becoming a doctor by 25 or 55; Or not becoming a doctor at all. If you are beating yourself up on a path to "success" that is not your own because of parents, cousins, culture, you are pretty much doomed to misery, and should get off this path fast. The only thing that matters is your own feeling of self worth, not some friends of your parents. Get over (out from under) this. Cultural pressure might work in some settings but if it's making you out to be a failure for being a nontrad, F- 'em.

 

[WGSgrad]

You're fine for any DO school, including mine. Do you want to be a doctor. MD is out of bounds due to the MCAT score, unless you live a very lucky state like TX, LA, KS etc., which highly favor their own residents, OR the mMD school where you're doing your SMP. The program is a backdoor in, after all.

If you're boning for that MD, retake and ace the MCAT (513+).

And quit feeling sorry for yourself. You're an adult now. Get some therapy for help with your self-esteem issues.

I don't know how long you have to have been an SDN member to write a post like that, or better yet, how old you have to be, but what I do know is that I'm not there yet.

 

[culturalfailure]

I understand how you feel. I went to a non-HYP Ivy and I have friends (fellow alums) who already multi-millionaires...including my best friend. I performed poorly and I am just starting the long road to GPA repair/recovery and I'm two years older than you are. Not a single person in my life supports the idea of me practicing medicine and that is rough. I understand the regret in your post. I really do.

But I think you're at that moment of, "How bad do you want this?" If you really want this, there is a way, and SDN will definitely be a resource in finding it.

You post didn't ask for help or suggestions, but assuming you're not just here for the commiseration (this is your first post), more senior members/adcoms, their going to need more information:

1) What is your cGPA and sGPA now? Does the 2.4 include post-baccalaureate classes?
2) Do you have As in all of your prerequsites? (I assume you couldn't get into an SMP without taking the prerequsites.)
3) Did you apply DO? If so, what was your GPA with grade replacement?
4) How many times did you take the MCAT to get the 29?
5) Where did you apply?

Again, if you are just here to commiserate, then may the party continue. If you want the folks on the forum to help, they will need more information.

1) As mentioned its cGPA is a 2.4. sGPA is a 2.4. Doesn't include post bac classes. Most likely because I was a full time masters student, didn't have time to do post bac.

2) No.

3) No.

4) Once.

5) Harvard, Yale, Stanford and Columbia. I kept Cornell as my backup option.....jk. I applied to my state schools and some no name med schools.

I suggest that you get out of school, work for a while, and do whatever you have to do to find something outside of yourself that gives you a purpose and motivation to get out of bed every day. Some purpose that makes you feel like a decent human being with something valuable to contribute to yourself, your fellow man, and society. And for sure some purpose that doesn't depend on making you look good at the expense of other people, and that doesn't depend on whatever everyone else happens to be doing.

I did work after graduating school and then I enrolled in the masters program at my med school as I mentioned in my original post. Some purpose that makes me feel like a decent human being and contributing something valuable.....I think I already alluded to that with this whole "doctor" thing because I find learning about medicine interesting, especially after taking some M1 classes.

And yea sure, a part of it is just wanting to be accepted by my cultural circle and to prove to myself that I'm not a screwed up idiot. I'm sorry if those are terrible reasons. How horrible of me to want to prove that I'm smart and successful to other people of my own community right? A part of it is to also stick it to cocky 23 year old med students who think that they're better than everyone else who are not in med school. Ok I agree that's probably a bad reason but it's not my main one.

If your only hope is the Caribbean, then you should consider alternatives to medicine.

If you are serious about this path, the conventional advice is to retake your undergrad classes and apply DO. You also need a higher MCAT score. If you are confident that you've turned things around, then prove it to the adcoms.

Yep, because alternatives to medicine would certainly help with those feelings of failure to not get into medicine. Makes sense. Retake undergrad classes, like how much, 120 credits worth? So my masters GPA and the fact that I took actual med school classes won't even be looked at by adcoms as a "turning around"? As if I just magically got a 3.8 GPA in 30 credits of masters classes without busting my ass.

You're fine for any DO school, including mine. Do you want to be a doctor. MD is out of bounds due to the MCAT score, unless you live a very lucky state like TX, LA, KS etc., which highly favor their own residents, OR the mMD school where you're doing your SMP. The program is a backdoor in, after all.

If you're boning for that MD, retake and ace the MCAT (513+).

And quit feeling sorry for yourself. You're an adult now. Get some therapy for help with your self-esteem issues.

No I don't want to be a doctor. That's obviously why I took the time to work at a med school research lab, get into their masters program and ace it, take actual M1 classes and do well in those, take the MCAT, apply this cycle, and make this thread. Because I clearly don't want to be a doctor.

I'm not in an SMP program. I'm in a normal masters program. And you're right, I'll stop feeling sorry for myself. Being a 28 year old who just got a masters degree at a med school surrounded by cocky 23 year old med students and watching them while knowing that you purposely put yourself in such a terrible position and wish you could be as young and as full of ego and happiness as them is clearly a reason to not be upset. My bad.

If your sense of success and failure are determined by other than your own goals and abilities, you've already lost this battle. you can be a success becoming a doctor by 25 or 55; Or not becoming a doctor at all. If you are beating yourself up on a path to "success" that is not your own because of parents, cousins, culture, you are pretty much doomed to misery, and should get off this path fast. The only thing that matters is your own feeling of self worth, not some friends of your parents. Get over (out from under) this. Cultural pressure might work in some settings but if it's making you out to be a failure for being a nontrad, F- 'em.

Oh please really? I'm sorry, but how is someone becoming a doctor at 55 a success when a 25 year old DOES THE SAME EXACT THING 30 YEARS BEFORE THEM????? How is having a 200k debt at 55 a success? The 25 year old has their whole life to get married and have kids before they become old. I don't. IM ALREADY OLD.

Yea you're absolutely right. Sorry. I should just F my culture. Any idea on ways I can wipe out my ethnicity, race, and heritage? Is there an online website or a stem cell therapy clinic that specializes in human transformation? Thanks for the help!

 

[DrMidlife]

I'm sorry, but how is someone becoming a doctor at 55 a success when a 25 year old DOES THE SAME EXACT THING 30 YEARS BEFORE THEM????? How is having a 200k debt at 55 a success? The 25 year old has their whole life to get married and have kids before they become old. I don't. IM ALREADY OLD.

Aw c'mon, admit it, you're really a 13 year old bored Malaysian kid having fun messing with dumb Americans on the interwebs. This has to be satire.

 

[culturalfailure]

Aw c'mon, admit it, you're really a 13 year old bored Malaysian kid having fun messing with dumb Americans on the interwebs. This has to be satire.

Nope. I wish. Everything wrote about myself is a 100% true. I'm not a troll.

Some people consider themselves a success when they finish med school, residency, and fellowship at 45 with a 200k debt and finally find time and money to get married and raise children. Indian people don't consider that a success. There's a reason why literally every one else from my community are nearly done or are going through their residency instead of attempting to start med school by my age.

Because they realized early on, unlike myself, that starting med school this late in life won't allow you to have a decent family life till your 40. To you that might be ok. To me that's just sad.

 

[Dullhead]

Desi - venting is fine, but how will bitching at interweb strangers do any good? Esp given these people are trying to help you.

Any other fellow non-trad cultural failures here?

I'm a cultural non-trad (decade and a half over you), but a failure I'm not, cultural or otherwise.

 

[Law2Doc]

... I'm sorry, but how is someone becoming a doctor at 55 a success when a 25 year old DOES THE SAME EXACT THING 30 YEARS BEFORE THEM????? ...

Simple. It's about the journey, not the destination. Everyone ends up dust in the end.

 

[DNC127]

I don't care if you are Indian, Asian, Hispanic, European, American, Black, White, Purple, Orange, Gay, Straight, Male, Female, or a freaking robot... You are becoming a failure not because you are "old" and not in medical school, but rather because you are wallowing in self-pity and getting aggravated at people who are trying to help you... Changing your attitude is the first step to changing your life direction. Good luck.

 

[WGSgrad]

I got nuttin' for ya. As my dear departed grandfather might say, "You're smellin' yourself right now."

Best of luck.

 

[culturalfailure]

Desi - venting is fine, but how will bitching at interweb strangers do any good? Esp given these people are trying to help you.

I'm a cultural non-trad (decade and a half over you), but a failure I'm not, cultural or otherwise.

Well enjoy the 200k debt and 100 hour work weeks in your 40s bro. You're living the dream.

Simple. It's about the journey, not the destination. Everyone ends up dust in the end.

No its not. Life is a rat race. The sooner you settle down and reach success earlier the better off you are. Dust or not.

 

[gyngyn]

No its not. Life is a rat race. The sooner you settle down and reach success earlier the better off you are. Dust or not.

So sad.

 

[QofQuimica]

I did work after graduating school and then I enrolled in the masters program at my med school as I mentioned in my original post. Some purpose that makes me feel like a decent human being and contributing something valuable.....I think I already alluded to that with this whole "doctor" thing because I find learning about medicine interesting, especially after taking some M1 classes.

And yea sure, a part of it is just wanting to be accepted by my cultural circle and to prove to myself that I'm not a screwed up idiot. I'm sorry if those are terrible reasons. How horrible of me to want to prove that I'm smart and successful to other people of my own community right? A part of it is to also stick it to cocky 23 year old med students who think that they're better than everyone else who are not in med school. Ok I agree that's probably a bad reason but it's not my main one.

Finding medicine interesting to learn about isn't a good reason to become a physician either. I find astronomy and entomology interesting to learn about. Should I go get a second PhD in one or both of them? I enjoy reading about people who compete in ultra athletic events like ultra marathons and Ironman triathlons. Should I start training for one? While I *could* do one or the other of these things, and either is certainly a worthwhile pursuit for the right person in the right situation, that doesn't inherently make them things *I* should pursue just because I find them interesting to learn about.

If you are merely intellectually interested in medicine, that's ok. You can take some graduate courses, as you did, and learn about medicine just because it's interesting to you. Nothing wrong with wanting to learn a subject just because you find it interesting to learn about. I'm currently taking a couple of classes for the sheer enjoyment of it myself. But that doesn't mean it's giving you a sense of life purpose like I'm talking about. I'm talking about finding something that makes you glad to be alive, here and now. So far, nothing you've said has given me the impression that medicine is your passion.

 

[culturalfailure]

I don't care if you are Indian, Asian, Hispanic, European, American, Black, White, Purple, Orange, Gay, Straight, Male, Female, or a freaking robot... You are becoming a failure not because you are "old" and not in medical school, but rather because you are wallowing in self-pity and getting aggravated at people who are trying to help you... Changing your attitude is the first step to changing your life direction. Good luck.

True. I forget how changing my attitude allows me to become a normal 23 year old Indian med student and be like the rest of my friends and family, allow me to have time and money in my late 20s and early 30s to get married and start a family instead waiting till I'm like 40 to do that. That is all about attitude. Not time. Freaking attitude.

So sad.

Yet so true.

 

[gyngyn]

Yet so true.

It sounds like you believe it. I can promise you it is not the only reality. "Success" and "early" are in the eye of the beholder. Life really is the journey. We all know the destination...

 

[culturalfailure]

Finding medicine interesting to learn about isn't a good reason to become a physician either. I find astronomy and entomology interesting to learn about. Should I go get a second PhD in one or both of them? I enjoy reading about people who compete in ultra athletic events like ultra marathons and Ironman triathlons. Should I start training for one? While I *could* do one or the other of these things, and either is certainly a worthwhile pursuit for the right person in the right situation, that doesn't inherently make them things *I* should pursue just because I find them interesting to learn about.

If you are merely intellectually interested in medicine, that's ok. You can take some graduate courses, as you did, and learn about medicine just because it's interesting to you. Nothing wrong with wanting to learn a subject just because you find it interesting to learn about. I'm currently taking a couple of classes for the sheer enjoyment of it myself. But that doesn't mean it's giving you a sense of life purpose like I'm talking about. I'm talking about finding something that makes you glad to be alive, here and now. So far, nothing you've said has given me the impression that medicine is your passion.

My passion is being successful and to be accepted by my community. For that, there are three paths. Doctor, lawyer, and engineer. Given my background in biology and my heavy exposure to medicine early on by the fact that literally everyone in know in my life is a doctor or going to become one, I find it an attractive career for several reasons. Most of which I haven't listed here. I didn't take those masters classes or do a masters "for the fun". Although it was fun, my goal is to transition to medicine, which apparently, given the lack of success this cycle so far, isn't going to happen.

 

[DrMidlife]

there's a spot on the wall to the left of you that didn't get any feces flung on it yet.

 

[culturalfailure]

It sounds like you believe it. I can promise you it is not the only reality. "Success" and "early" are in the eye of the beholder. Life really is the journey. We all know the destination...

Yea well it's all nice to talk about. That isn't how the Indian community works. By 30 you're expected to be earning a lot, settled comfortably in your prestigious career, and married, or at least be close to those things. People who don't often find themselves outside of the community looking in, and as a result, seem to end up at the final destination much earlier than the rest.

 

[Dullhead]

Well enjoy the 200k debt and 100 hour work weeks in your 40s bro. You're living the dream.

Thanks bro. It's more like 400K given that I'm limited mostly to DO, but it still works out and I'm OK with it. You're in full-on vent / rant / rage / angst mode and you'll need to come out of it before you can craft a plan for success. When you're ready, these fine interwebz folks will still be around to guide you if you wish. PS: I see that @DNC127 beat me to it. I really do wish you well.

 

[Shotapp]

All you have done so far is complain...and your performance as a victim deserves applauds (seriously you are that good) There is absolutely nothing you can do the change the past because it has already happened. Change your outcome by using your actions to reinforce your mindset. Stop speaking life to all these negative thoughts you have bottled up inside of you. Also try to humble yourself. How are you suppose to become a competent Doctor someday with the childish bitterness you are displaying to others.

 

[gyngyn]

Yea well it's all nice to talk about. That isn't how the Indian community works. By 30 you're expected to be earning a lot, settled comfortably in your prestigious career, and married, or at least be close to those things. People who don't often find themselves outside of the community looking in, and as a result, seem to end up at the final destination much earlier than the rest.

Still sad.

 

[QofQuimica]

My passion is being successful and to be accepted by my community. For that, there are three paths. Doctor, lawyer, and engineer. Given my background in biology and my heavy exposure to medicine early on by the fact that literally everyone in know in my life is a doctor or going to become one, I find it an attractive career for several reasons. Most of which I haven't listed here. I didn't take those masters classes or do a masters "for the fun". Although it was fun, my goal is to transition to medicine, which apparently, given the lack of success this cycle so far, isn't going to happen.

In that case, I would suggest changing careers to law or engineering. Because you're right; given the reality of your situation and barring any invention of a time machine, you are not ever going to be successful or accepted by your community via the medicine route.

 

[culturalfailure]

Thanks bro. It's more like 400K given that I'm limited mostly to DO, but it still works out and I'm OK with it. You're in full-on vent / rant / rage / angst mode and you'll need to come out of it before you can craft a plan for success. When you're ready, these fine interwebz folks will still be around to guide you if you wish. PS: I see that @DNC127 beat me to it. I really do wish you well.

Wow that's so cool! 400k debt in your 40s? You'll literally be paying off that debt till you die or are close to that age! Congrats on the DO!!!!

All you have done so far is complain...and your performance as a victim deserves applauds (seriously you are that good) There is absolutely nothing you can do the change the past because it has already happened. Change your outcome by using your actions to reinforce your mindset. Stop speaking life to all these negative thoughts you have bottled up inside of you. Also try to humble yourself. How are you suppose to become a competent Doctor someday with the childish bitterness you are displaying to others.

Well based on how this cycle has gone so far, it looks that someday will still be quite far away for me unlike a lot of other people I know. So please forgive me if I indulge in some bitterness in the meantime to balm my wounded ego.

 

[culturalfailure]

In that case, I would suggest changing careers to law or engineering. Because you're right; given the reality of your situation and barring any invention of a time machine, you are not ever going to be successful or accepted by your community via the medicine route.

Yea that's why I came to SDN to get advice on becoming an engineer or a lawyer. Thanks for that.

Still sad.

Still true.

 

[Dullhead]

Wow that's so cool! 400k debt in your 40s? You'll literally be paying off that debt till you die or are close to that age! Congrats on the DO!!!!

Thanks! But I'm not a DO yet. And it's actually 400K debt in my 50s, not 40s. Still OK with me because I've run the numbers and have a plan to make it work. It's not something most will be comfortable with, but I am. I'm kinda done here because you're an impenetrable wall of angst right now, but I do hope things change for you - in a positive way, and soon. Because the way you're living is no way to live.

 

[Seattle Mariners Fan]

Well enjoy the 200k debt and 100 hour work weeks in your 40s bro. You're living the dream.

No its not. Life is a rat race. The sooner you settle down and reach success earlier the better off you are. Dust or not.

Evaluating life so darned narrowly is an issue here mate.

We all suffer setbacks of one form or another...don't do self pity or the whole "nothing is good enough" routine.

Stop complaining that you're a fat kid and put that cookie down. Now. Then get up and be a champion.

Also, -1 for discouraging people out there balling like dullhead. Self-pity is one thing, being a Negative Nancy towards Doers is another.

Yea well it's all nice to talk about. That isn't how the Indian community works. By 30 you're expected to be earning a lot, settled comfortably in your prestigious career, and married, or at least be close to those things. People who don't often find themselves outside of the community looking in, and as a result, seem to end up at the final destination much earlier than the rest.

Two of my closest friends are Indian, and they are some of the warmest and most unconditionally accepting people I know. I don't think its entirely cultural. Are you sure its not the circles you're running in or psychological projection?

 

[esob]

TBH you lack the demeanor to pull it off. If you can't approach the journey with a massive degree of both positivism and humbleness, you won't weather the journey.

 

[FumblyBumbly]

I'll go against the crowd on this. You're a random username on the internet. Feel free to bitch and moan and attack people here if it helps you to maintain a calmer demeanor in real life. Don't keep things bottled up, right? Just be careful this sort of behavior doesn't become a habit.

 

[Kr#36]

The fact that this thread is still going and some are still offering real advice is why I joined SDN. Its actually impressive that some of the posters continue to provide realistic words of wisdom despite the hurricane of self-pity and misguided anger from OP.

Seriously man, not a single person in real life cares about whether you're a disappointment in your culture, nor whether you become a doctor. Its on you. You aren't going to go back in time to when you were 23, so control what you can going forward to create the best application possible. Or don't and complain about what could have been.

 

[Lawgiver]

Wow op, you are sad. Suck it up or get out while youre still not guilty of going postal.

 

[bumblebee611]

Yea well it's all nice to talk about. That isn't how the Indian community works. By 30 you're expected to be earning a lot, settled comfortably in your prestigious career, and married, or at least be close to those things. People who don't often find themselves outside of the community looking in, and as a result, seem to end up at the final destination much earlier than the rest.

WTF is wrong with the Desis who post on SDN? Sorry, but that's not the Indian-American community I grew up in, and I'm WAY older than you. My dad took a little nontrad turn himself in his late 30s, and he enjoys incredible respect and admiration from the folks in his and my mom's community. And they and all the other relatives and Indian-American friends in my life have been nothing but supportive of my nontrad journey towards medical school (and plenty of the detours I took along the way).

 

[Lawgiver]

also strong chance this is a troll.

 

[Goro]

I'm getting a much stronger whiff of this, LG:

But I am going to save the rest of us a lot of time:
:troll::troll::troll::troll::troll::troll::troll::troll::troll::troll::troll::troll::troll::troll:

also strong chance this is a troll.

 

[culturalfailure]

Thanks! But I'm not a DO yet. And it's actually 400K debt in my 50s, not 40s. Still OK with me because I've run the numbers and have a plan to make it work. It's not something most will be comfortable with, but I am. I'm kinda done here because you're an impenetrable wall of angst right now, but I do hope things change for you - in a positive way, and soon. Because the way you're living is no way to live.

Neither is your way of living either when you have a 400k debt and working 100 hour weeks in your freaking 50s lol. Good luck to you as well, hope your body can actually physically handle that without falling apart.

Evaluating life so darned narrowly is an issue here mate.

We all suffer setbacks of one form or another...don't do self pity or the whole "nothing is good enough" routine.

Stop complaining that you're a fat kid and put that cookie down. Now. Then get up and be a champion.

Also, -1 for discouraging people out there balling like dullhead. Self-pity is one thing, being a Negative Nancy towards Doers is another.



Two of my closest friends are Indian, and they are some of the warmest and most unconditionally accepting people I know. I don't think its entirely cultural. Are you sure its not the circles you're running in or psychological projection?

Well sorry if I hurt his feelings. He's a big boy (more like old man). I'm sure he'll get over it. A lot of Indians are Indian by ethnicity only, and reject the cultural aspect. Your friends may very well be Indian, but just because they look Indian doesn't mean that they actually are a part of the culture. You can't be a part of the culture and still be ok with getting settled this late in life. That isn't how it works.

WTF is wrong with the Desis who post on SDN? Sorry, but that's not the Indian-American community I grew up in, and I'm WAY older than you. My dad took a little nontrad turn himself in his late 30s, and he enjoys incredible respect and admiration from the folks in his and my mom's community. And they and all the other relatives and Indian-American friends in my life have been nothing but supportive of my nontrad journey towards medical school (and plenty of the detours I took along the way).

Good for you. Maybe you don't mind the fact that you are at the same exact position in life, in some ways a lot worse, as the 23 year old first year med student. I'm surrounded by people who are 5 years younger than me and are more successful than I am. Maybe it's easy for you not to care about that or to not care about the fact that you essentially have to put your personal life on hold since you won't have the time or money for a family for the next decade. I guess I'm just sick of being behind everyone I know in life. But I can see that in your case, since you've always been behind, you don't really know any better. Wish I could have that kind of blissful ignorance.

 

[Dullhead]

Neither is your way of living either when you have a 400k debt and working 100 hour weeks in your freaking 50s lol. Good luck to you as well, hope your body can actually physically handle that without falling apart.

OK fine. We don't have to discuss me. Let's talk about you - tell me what makes you happy. Today. Now. A good meal? A walk on the beach? Playing with a pet? Reading a book? Watching a TV show or movie? Painting? Singing? Dancing?

What makes you happy?

 

[bumblebee611]

Neither is your way of living either when you have a 400k debt and working 100 hour weeks in your freaking 50s lol. Good luck to you as well, hope your body can actually physically handle that without falling apart.




Well sorry if I hurt his feelings. He's a big boy (more like old man). I'm sure he'll get over it. A lot of Indians are Indian by ethnicity only, and reject the cultural aspect. Your friends may very well be Indian, but just because they look Indian doesn't mean that they actually are a part of the culture. You can't be a part of the culture and still be ok with getting settled this late in life. That isn't how it works.



Good for you. Maybe you don't mind the fact that you are at the same exact position in life, in some ways a lot worse, as the 23 year old first year med student. I'm surrounded by people who are 5 years younger than me and are more successful than I am. Maybe it's easy for you not to care about that or to not care about the fact that you essentially have to put your personal life on hold since you won't have the time or money for a family for the next decade. I guess I'm just sick of being behind everyone I know in life. But I can see that in your case, since you've always been behind, you don't really know any better. Wish I could have that kind of blissful ignorance.

Ahhh, but some of us are clever enough to have a family and find success in other endeavors before we head down this nontrad road .... Hopefully you'll get banned before too long for your racist trolling. Oh, wait, but according to you I can't really be Indian-American if I'm actually proud of my kids and love them even when they don't get As.

 

[DrMikeP]

I'm getting a much stronger whiff of this, LG:

But I am going to save the rest of us a lot of time:
:troll::troll::troll::troll::troll::troll::troll::troll::troll::troll::troll::troll::troll::troll:

To repeat and translate this message for those who might not understand it.... You are best case not helping someone not wanting to be helped or worse case likely being used/abused/toyed with by the OP so Stop REPLYING/POSTING or you just promote this!

peace out

 

[petyr_baelish]

OK fine. We don't have to discuss me. Let's talk about you - tell me what makes you happy. Today. Now. A good meal? A walk on the beach? Playing with a pet? Reading a book? Watching a TV show or movie? Painting? Singing? Dancing?

What makes you happy?

You have far more patience than I.

You don't deserve the vitriol @culturalfailure is dishing out.

 

[culturalfailure]

OK fine. We don't have to discuss me. Let's talk about you - tell me what makes you happy. Today. Now. A good meal? A walk on the beach? Playing with a pet? Reading a book? Watching a TV show or movie? Painting? Singing? Dancing?

What makes you happy?

Getting into an allopathic medical school in the U.S. and getting married to someone I love and having children and buying a house before I'm too old to enjoy all of that.

 

[culturalfailure]

Ahhh, but some of us are clever enough to have a family and find success in other endeavors before we head down this nontrad road .... Hopefully you'll get banned before too long for your racist trolling. Oh, wait, but according to you I can't really be Indian-American if I'm actually proud of my kids and love them even when they don't get As.

If you truly were successful in life then why are you going back to med school in your late 30s? Obviously the career you chose isn't fulfilling enough to you to warrant staying there, and now you're surrounded by people more than a decade younger than you doing the same thing you are. Congratulations.

Let me say it again. Indian-Americans don't start med school at my age unless they belong to the minority of us like you, myself, and dullhead who seriously screwed up somewhere in life and had to start an arduous 10 year journey during their late adult life instead of enjoying it.

 

[Seattle Mariners Fan]

Look, man, attacking others is extremely no Bueno.

Dull head is the guy with 10 extra pounds who is doing keto and jogging.

You're attacking him for his extra 10 over a double chin in between mouthfuls of cookies and pizza.

Stop it. Take action towards what you want. If you wanna complain about hardships along the way, fine, but don't attack others.

 

[DrMidlife]

ask your parents, separately, if they agree with the following:

1. true or false: being married with a family and established in a career are highly preferable but there actually are other perspectives on what makes life worthwhile

2. true or false: i can name Desi individuals that i consider successful who are or were not familied or careered by 28.

3. true or false: it's FAR more disturbing to have a myopic unimaginative immature 28 year old son or daughter than to have a late bloomer who has maturity and imagination and isn't just a total pain in the ass

 

[GreenDuck12]

OP, I think it is time to consider Caribbean medical schools so you can accomplish your goals and move on to making money/having a family/being successful/being young (aka arrogant and entitled). SGU and Ross would love to have an applicant with your background and I imagine you would be accepted very early in the application process even with your substantially sub par GPA and MCAT score. Time is quickly passing by (especially for us unsuccessful and unaccomplished non-grads); best get started so you can beat us. Best of luck to you.

 

[psyche108]

Oh for crying out loud, are you the same guy that posted this on reddit months ago? Seems like nothing we've said has changed anything.

Look you are not the only desi person that has screwed up in college or life or whatever, and you are not the only desi person to have to take a nontraditional route to medical school. And there are plenty of desi people that have their family's support or their desi friends' support to take a more nontraditional route in life in general. Not all desis are hardcore type A perfectionists that have to constantly succeed at everything. My university has lots of desi people, and trust me, saying that the majority are super successful does not match up in my experience.