Are Personal Statements Really That Cheesy?

[ArkansasRanger]

Because the difference between medicine and most other professions is where the gate is placed. In most professions (law, research, accounting, etc.), pretty much anyone can go to school, but a large number of these students either don't graduate or don't pass their respective licensing exams. But in medicine, getting into school is very difficult, and many applicants do not succeed in getting the opportunity to matriculate. However, once a person matriculates into a medical school, nearly everyone makes it through the program and passes the licensing exams. Considering how much money and how many physical resources we invest as a society in training physicians, I think it's actually quite logical to try to not let people who are still "finding themselves" do their soul-searching while they're in medical school.

Why not?

By and large, I would have to say that accountants, related finance occupations, law and politics, and even research careers can have a much broader reach than medicine with more ramifications for society as a whole.

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[ArkansasRanger]

I agree whole-heartedly. And still, there will be many (I'll even go so far as to say "everyone", at some point) who will question their decision to go into medicine. Some will burn out, some will become bitter and disillusioned, and some will suck it up and soldier on. I hope most end up loving their careers, or at least enjoying them. But because it is so hard to get into med school, premeds as a group tend to focus on the acceptance rather than the realities of the physician-making process. I've read a lot of "is THIS particular flavor of volunteer work considered "clinical?" here on SDN. But not nearly enough "OMG. Do I really want to spend the rest of my life compiling two-foot tall stacks of paperwork to comply with X government regulations?"

I already compile two foot stacks of paper work to comply Arkansas and U.S. government regulations.

 

[jinx520]

I already compile two foot stacks of paper work to comply Arkansas and U.S. government regulations.

Same here (well, not AK). So when we are confronted with said stacks, we will just sigh and dig in, compared to other folks who had no idea that "saving the world and helping people" involved two foot stacks of paperwork. Many forms of which, I might add, are repeats of 10 forms filled out previously. There ARE advantages to being a nontrad.

 

[QofQuimica]

Why not?

By and large, I would have to say that accountants, related finance occupations, law and politics, and even research careers can have a much broader reach than medicine with more ramifications for society as a whole.

AR, I can't decide if you are deliberately being obtuse, or if you are just trying to play devil's advocate. Either way, go back and reread the first half of the last sentence in that post of mine that you quoted. My argument has nothing to do with the value or ramifications of each profession for society. It has to do with the cost, both financial and material, of *training* people to go into medicine versus other professions.

If you go to accounting school and can't pass your cert exams after ten tries, no one else is hurt by it besides you. If you go to law school and drop out, no one else is hurt by it besides you (well, and maybe Sallie Mae if you die before paying off your education loans).

But if you go to medical school and flunk or drop out, *many* people are hurt by it--from the taxpayers who subsidize your medical education to the tune of hundreds of thousands of dollars over the course of your four years of medical school--to the families who donated their loved ones' cadavers for you to dissect (and usually at their own personal expense, I might add)--to the hundreds of patients who allowed you to take unnecessary histories, perform unnecessary physicals on them, and fumble performing medical procedures on them in hopes of helping you become competent to take care of patients for real some day.

Unlike any other profession, a medical student who falls out of the pipeline without becoming a physician is not just a loss to him/herself. The loss of a medical student is a loss to all of us, because as a society, we are all investing very heavily in training each student. Since we invest so much in medical students early on, and we then have to wait many years before getting a return on that investment, it makes sense to only matriculate people who are likely to complete their training and practice as physicians some day.

 

[ArkansasRanger]

AR, I can't decide if you are deliberately being obtuse, or if you are just trying to play devil's advocate.

I spend most of my day playing devil's advocate.

 

[EdLongshanks]

who are we to judge or be judged?

Oh, I hate that phrase. They are the admissions committee members. That means it's their job to judge. This is like a defendant saying to his judge and jury "Who are you to judge me?"

 

[ArkansasRanger]

Oh, I hate that phrase. They are the admissions committee members. That means it's their job to judge. This is like a defendant saying to his judge and jury "Who are you to judge me?"

not even on the same playing field

 

[EdLongshanks]

not even on the same playing field

Different field, valid comparison.

The job of the admissions committee is to accept some people and reject others. This is done on combined objective/subjective set of standards. The objective is mostly dealt with in the front office on a not-quite-secret formula - something like k*gpa+mcat/10 - or something like that. Those who pass the score get an interview.

The interviewer then makes subjective judgements based on arbitrary standards of his own. He judges. Maybe one candidate picked his nose, but had a great GPA, while another spent 10 years working his way through undergrad on the salary of an ambulance attendent but only made a 3.1 GPA and a 26 MCAT.

This is her judgment. She, like Christ at the White Throne judgement separating the sheep and the goats, will decide the fate of hundreds of people.

This may not be right, this may not be fair, but it is the way things work. They judge. They have a responsibility to judge.

 

[ArkansasRanger]

Different field, valid comparison.

The job of the admissions committee is to accept some people and reject others. This is done on combined objective/subjective set of standards. The objective is mostly dealt with in the front office on a not-quite-secret formula - something like k*gpa+mcat/10 - or something like that. Those who pass the score get an interview.

The interviewer then makes subjective judgements based on arbitrary standards of his own. He judges. Maybe one candidate picked his nose, but had a great GPA, while another spent 10 years working his way through undergrad on the salary of an ambulance attendent but only made a 3.1 GPA and a 26 MCAT.

This is her judgment. She, like Christ at the White Throne judgement separating the sheep and the goats, will decide the fate of hundreds of people.

This may not be right, this may not be fair, but it is the way things work. They judge. They have a responsibility to judge.

different field thus invalid comparison

 

[fluoropHore]

ok, after reading all this, i have a genuine question, that's not trolling, nor am i trying to be unsympathetic or whiny to individuals who've had a rough or complex life. it may just be my biased opinion, but it seems like many exceptional PS include exceptional circumstances that are out of the control of the applicant such as family deaths/issues, country of origin, etc, circumstances that would make anyone go "Wow." I'd wager a majority of people are economically and socially "average" (whatever that means), and they have to carve out or create their own "wow factor" through the usual pathways, such as volunteering and research. How does an average, ho-hum applicant create a stellar story?

 

[fluoropHore]

ok, after reading all this, i have a genuine question, that's not trolling, nor am i trying to be unsympathetic or whiny to individuals who've had a rough or complex life. it may just be my biased opinion, but it seems like many exceptional PS include exceptional circumstances that are out of the control of the applicant such as family deaths/issues, country of origin, etc, circumstances that would make anyone go "Wow." I'd wager a majority of people are economically and socially "average" (whatever that means), and they have to carve out or create their own "wow factor" through the usual pathways, such as volunteering and research. How does an average, ho-hum applicant create a stellar story?

I assume this is one of the motivating factors for some pre-meds to take that medical trip to "Save the Babies" Africa..

 

[fluoropHore]

I don't mean to sound insensitive, but how to tread the line between having an impressive story and desperately creating and impressive story?
Every med student I've had the pleasure of speaking with says the same thing "I had an impressive story" and by golly, most of us are just average...

 

[Abider]

I don't mean to sound insensitive, but how to tread the line between having an impressive story and desperately creating and impressive story?
Every med student I've had the pleasure of speaking with says the same thing "I had an impressive story" and by golly, most of us are just average...

My first suggestion is don't say "by golly." You sound like a character from The Andy Griffith show. But that's just probably my repulsion by all things wholesomely midwestern.

Seriously though. Just be awesome. Not just in the things that have happened to you that you had to deal with. But the force behind your desire to do this.

Like Q said way back, If you can just organize that clearly enough with a strong thematic development, you've done your job.

Be convinced. Then convince. The latter without the former is fatuous.

 

[fluoropHore]

My first suggestion is don't say "by golly." You sound like a character from The Andy Griffith show. But that's just probably my repulsion by all things wholesomely midwestern.

Seriously though. Just be awesome. Not just in the things that have happened to you that you had to deal with. But the force behind your desire to do this.

Like Q said way back, If you can just organize that clearly enough with a strong thematic development, you've done your job.

Be convinced. Then convince. The latter without the former is fatuous.

I retain my right to say ByGolly!! Ty.

 

[notbobtrustme]

ok, after reading all this, i have a genuine question, that's not trolling, nor am i trying to be unsympathetic or whiny to individuals who've had a rough or complex life. it may just be my biased opinion, but it seems like many exceptional PS include exceptional circumstances that are out of the control of the applicant such as family deaths/issues, country of origin, etc, circumstances that would make anyone go "Wow." I'd wager a majority of people are economically and socially "average" (whatever that means), and they have to carve out or create their own "wow factor" through the usual pathways, such as volunteering and research. How does an average, ho-hum applicant create a stellar story?

The number of family members killed in PS outnumber some genocides.

Do not underestimate a pre-med's ability to bull**** eloquently.

 

[siliso]

Most people in medical school are fairly standard people, believe it or not. Most of them went to high school and undergrad, joined some clubs, volunteered, maybe did a little traveling. Not many war orphans or tragic geniuses, and apparently they made it past the personal statement. Just write why you want to go to medical school, be honest and write well. It will be fine.

 

[TheLadyVanishes]

I won't be writing my own PS for awhile, but one thing I've always wondered about:
I guess that the PS is your chance to show your enthusiasm and commitment to medicine, but I can see the potential for it to get too emotional. And it seems like most adcoms would tend to be cerebral, scientific and a little wary about an overemotional PS. At the same time you don't want them to be bored or unconvinced.
What's the best way to balance emotion and reason in a PS?

 

[Abider]

I won't be writing my own PS for awhile, but one thing I've always wondered about:
I guess that the PS is your chance to show your enthusiasm and commitment to medicine, but I can see the potential for it to get too emotional. And it seems like most adcoms would tend to be cerebral, scientific and a little wary about an overemotional PS. At the same time you don't want them to be bored or unconvinced.
What's the best way to balance emotion and reason in a PS?

Well, have someone read it. See what effect it has. There are services that could help. I used Mededits. They were nice. I used my own premise but some things that came off the rails were commented on.

Additionally an overlooked part of application strategy is how to establish a resonance between the type of person you are the skills and experience you have and the mission and patient population of the school looking at your app.

This is less important if your well qualified and desirable in general. But if you're the one trying to grab some precious moment of communication to get through, then you have to make sense to the school.

If you're fluent in spanish you'll be useful to those populations and so on. Could also be a personal resonance and ties to an area.

I got in exactly where I could offer some bit of usefulness despite weak credentials.

Sometimes I regret being this type of candidate and wish I had the stuff to pick and choose. But, I made it. And I like myself for this career so....I guess it's all good.

 

[WTEngel]

So I know it is cliche to start the PS with some sort of intense situation with overly descriptive prose, but I have a pretty interesting story about being a flight medic in Saudi Arabia and being called for a "baby in the desert."

As we landed, I met up with the ambulance and when I looked in the back I realized it was a 3 week old baby with a coarctation of the aorta, being transported to Riyadh for his correction. The ambulance had wrecked on the side of the road, the baby had no prostaglandin, no sedation, and no TPN running, and the ventilator had busted during the accident. A nurse form the Philippines and an RT from North Africa were bagging the infant on 100% oxygen, and the child was blue and lifeless.

Long story short, I used my years of experience as a paramedic (3 of which were spent on high risk neonatal transport at Children's Medical Center of Dallas) to re establish the prostaglandin drip, sedate the child, titrate the oxygen, and re-establish placement of the endotracheal tube prior to transport to the nearest hospital by ground (40 minutes away.) On arrival the baby looked much improved (good color and perfusion.)

I was asked to meet with Prince Abdullah al Saud, where he recognized my partner and I for basically doing our job. He asked me about becoming a physician. The conversation we had really changed my perspective...

It is hard to tell a story like this without sounding over the top and cliche, but I really want to try and craft a PS around it.

Do you guys think this is worth pursuing, or should I craft a more traditional statement, briefly mention these experiences, and expand on them in the interview?

 

[startingover84]

So I know it is cliche to start the PS with some sort of intense situation with overly descriptive prose, but I have a pretty interesting story about being a flight medic in Saudi Arabia and being called for a "baby in the desert."

As we landed, I met up with the ambulance and when I looked in the back I realized it was a 3 week old baby with a coarctation of the aorta, being transported to Riyadh for his correction. The ambulance had wrecked on the side of the road, the baby had no prostaglandin, no sedation, and no TPN running, and the ventilator had busted during the accident. A nurse form the Philippines and an RT from North Africa were bagging the infant on 100% oxygen, and the child was blue and lifeless.

Long story short, I used my years of experience as a paramedic (3 of which were spent on high risk neonatal transport at Children's Medical Center of Dallas) to re establish the prostaglandin drip, sedate the child, titrate the oxygen, and re-establish placement of the endotracheal tube prior to transport to the nearest hospital by ground (40 minutes away.) On arrival the baby looked much improved (good color and perfusion.)

I was asked to meet with Prince Abdullah al Saud, where he recognized my partner and I for basically doing our job. He asked me about becoming a physician. The conversation we had really changed my perspective...

It is hard to tell a story like this without sounding over the top and cliche, but I really want to try and craft a PS around it.

Do you guys think this is worth pursuing, or should I craft a more traditional statement, briefly mention these experiences, and expand on them in the interview?

Are you for real? If so, I think it's a no-brainer that you include this in your PS. I mean, really?

 

[Abider]

So I know it is cliche to start the PS with some sort of intense situation with overly descriptive prose, but I have a pretty interesting story about being a flight medic in Saudi Arabia and being called for a "baby in the desert."

As we landed, I met up with the ambulance and when I looked in the back I realized it was a 3 week old baby with a coarctation of the aorta, being transported to Riyadh for his correction. The ambulance had wrecked on the side of the road, the baby had no prostaglandin, no sedation, and no TPN running, and the ventilator had busted during the accident. A nurse form the Philippines and an RT from North Africa were bagging the infant on 100% oxygen, and the child was blue and lifeless.

Long story short, I used my years of experience as a paramedic (3 of which were spent on high risk neonatal transport at Children's Medical Center of Dallas) to re establish the prostaglandin drip, sedate the child, titrate the oxygen, and re-establish placement of the endotracheal tube prior to transport to the nearest hospital by ground (40 minutes away.) On arrival the baby looked much improved (good color and perfusion.)

I was asked to meet with Prince Abdullah al Saud, where he recognized my partner and I for basically doing our job. He asked me about becoming a physician. The conversation we had really changed my perspective...

It is hard to tell a story like this without sounding over the top and cliche, but I really want to try and craft a PS around it.

Do you guys think this is worth pursuing, or should I craft a more traditional statement, briefly mention these experiences, and expand on them in the interview?

Bump the cliche haters, that's Awesome!

I'll pay you $100 right now for the rights to that story. To go on my PS and not yours.

 

[WTEngel]

Yeah, it is actually a true story, and that's kind of the point of asking about using it. It seems almost unbelievable...

Anyway, I am almost 100% certain I am going to incorporate it, I just need to tread lightly in order to come off with the right tone and all, or else it could be a total fail.

 

[Abider]

Yeah, it is actually a true story, and that's kind of the point of asking about using it. It seems almost unbelievable...

Anyway, I am almost 100% certain I am going to incorporate it, I just need to tread lightly in order to come off with the right tone and all, or else it could be a total fail.

I'd go for swarthy nonchalance. Kind of like "....I don't always apply to medical school, but when I do, I apply (insert #1)." In fact, just send out one application to your #1. If they don't want to interview the guy with that story, they're pulseless cabbage heads.

Don't me drunk with a story like that. I'd be like...didd I eber tell you the bout da time..for the millionth telling.

 

[startingover84]

Yeah, it is actually a true story, and that's kind of the point of asking about using it. It seems almost unbelievable...

Anyway, I am almost 100% certain I am going to incorporate it, I just need to tread lightly in order to come off with the right tone and all, or else it could be a total fail.

Definitely include it, and I agree that your tone will be very important.

 

[LingoLaine]

You have a great story there and you should use it. Just make sure you don't let the fascinating story get in the way of proper grammar -- "Prince Abdullah al Saud recognized my partner and ME".

 

[45408]

That's actually a pretty incredible story, on multiple levels. The most important thing about your PS, IMO, is to open conversation opportunities for your interview. Meeting a Saudi prince? Yeah, that's a conversation piece right there. Spending thousands of your parents' dollars to go on a vacation/medical mission? Not as much.

Because there is actually some pretty good material there, I'd try working with your school's English department to make it the best you can. My PS was horribly mediocre, but I didn't have anything to put in it that would have made it great.

Just don't say "I used my years of experience to blah blah blah." Everything else sounded good.

 

[LupaCupcake]

Here's another example, "As the rusted-out Land Rover made its way cautiously through dense thicket and crevices in the rocky dirt road, those of us sitting on top were able to peer through the trees at the sublime West African landscape."

This essay got the student accepted at Columbia, Cornell, Yale, Stanford, Duke, Mount Sinai and Harvard. But I don't understand. It's BAD WRITING. The opening sentence has 6 adjectives and and at least one unnecessary adverb. If someone sent this in to the newsletter that I edit, I would cut the whole sentence out. If you sent that into a publisher, he wouldn't even finish reading the first sentence before putting it in the reject pile.

Don't be a grammar nazi! It is called a personal statement...let me emphasize that one word...PERSONAL

I am not in med school yet so I don't claim to be an expert, but ultimately they don't just want someone who has excellent grammar and high grades. They don't want a computer. They want to know that you have some element of personality, you are well rounded and the "full package". You look at that sentence and say "unnessary adverb!", whereas I look at that sentence and say "hmm...I can really visualize the situation they are talking about and get a feel for that special moment".

My bookshelf is overflowing with fiction novels. I love to read and I can tell you flat out that just because an author has excellent grammar does not mean I like the book or that I will continue reading after one chapter. An author that puts more thought into capturing the attention of the reader and pulling them in with some level of emotion and creativity will make a better impression than a boring cookie cutter writer that ensures the sentence structure is perfect. You are selling yourself with that statement, you are not turning it in as some research essay.

 

[QofQuimica]

WT, I suggest mentioning the story in your essay but not focusing on it unless you're going to argue that this one experience is why you want to go to medical school. You should always keep in mind that the purpose of a PS is to answer the question, "Why medicine?" That being said, it's a great story, and definitely something that's bound to come up during interviews if you do work it into your app somewhere. So mention it, but make sure to focus your essay on why you want to be a physician, particularly since you're coming from an already successful allied health career. Best of luck.

 

[WTEngel]

Thanks for the advice guys.

I would say that particular call really tied up a lot of loose ends for me. I had done a lot of high intensity calls prior to that...plenty of CPRs, trauma, complex ICU to ICU transfers etc. but that call specifically and the conversation that ensued with the prince really is what finally pushed me over the edge, after being a spectator and considering medicine for a long time.

What it boiled down to was the prince told me that even with all the wealth and success he had in his life, he would never know what it feels like to save a life like I had done that day. He asked me about why I had chosen to be a paramedic and not a doctor. I had a few excuses about being a bit too old (which I know now is ludicrous) not having the money or a bachelor's degree etc. to which he responded, "put your ambition where your heart is, and nothing can stop you from following the path you were meant to travel."

I know it sounds like something out of a fortune cookie, but sitting in this palace in Riyadh, it was kind of surreal. I mean all of these things had come together in my life for a reason. Through a series of good fortune, high ambition, serendipity, and hard work, there I was sitting with a Saudi Prince telling me I need to stop making excuses and pursue medical school.

There is one final piece to the story that I would rather not share on the public forum. I really do appreciate the input and help. If any of you are interested in PMing and hearing the rest of the story or helping me craft a PS out of it, I would definitely appreciate your input.

 

[ImmunoLove]

Are we having a worst PS introduction contest now? Ok, here is my spin on another fairly common theme:

"I want to be a doctor because I have always been fascinated by the human body. Growing up, all of the other kids collected baseball cards, but I collected anatomy flashcards. After memorizing every card, I decided that my favorite bone is the hamate, because it has a hook. In fact, you could even say that learning about bones like the hamate was what "hooked" me on to medicine."

LOL "hooked me on medicine". This is awesomely cheesy.

 

[ridethecliche]

Graveeeeedigggggeerrrrrrr

 

[QofQuimica]

LOL "hooked me on medicine". This is awesomely cheesy.

I've read a lot more PSes than most of the rest of you and have seen some real doozies, but for the record, I made that particular one up.

 

[ImmunoLove]

I've read a lot more PSes than most of the rest of you and have seen some real doozies, but for the record, I made that particular one up.

I imagine it gets mind-numbing & tedious, but I would love to take a peek into that world and see what others write. I bet some of it is pretty amusing. In trying to write my own personal statement, I find almost everything I have to say sounds pretty generic, even though I don't think my own story is super generic (and yet, reading what I wrote elicits nothing more than an eye-rolling response)...

What works? I get "be genuine" but I am not one who is adept to waxing poetic (and neither do I feel it's ideal for the profession), so I tend toward "impersonal" and "formal". Eh.

And then I feel bad for the readers, and wish I could at least entertain them...