Really? Really? Should I show you the letters thanking me for not "terrorizing" family members? Are you really "horrified"? All I know is, is that, for people in crisis with family members, they thank me, not curse me, and for you to say it is "woefully poor fashion" is unsubstantiated and poorly thought out (if at all).
To use your mentality, clearly, you have never had the "do everything" talk with a family member. Your withering perspective as a minimally experienced post-grad, versus psychologically challenged family member in crisis, yields little value - no, no value.
Or, if you are saying that intubation and CPR is NOT barbaric, then you are simply screwed up.
If you want "horrifying", I can refer you back to a post I
put up in response to someone else stating something else was horrifying: "'Horrifying is raped with a broken stake. Horrifying is shot in the face with a shotgun over a drug deal. Horrifying is a 4 year old child starved to death by parents, who insist "she's faking it"."
Or maybe it's just in the way I say it. "Your father is very ill. He is near death, but he is not dead yet. I am wondering if he had any wishes about times like this, towards the end of life. If you want us to do everything, or you don't say anything, we will do everything we can to try and save him. However, we might not be able to save him, and the things we do, if you saw it, you might very likely think are barbaric. I would not do it for my family. It is up to you, but I can guide you. You are not alone during these terrible times."
That is about the gist of what I've said, every time. Now, if you find that 'horrifying', the only thing I can tell you is you REALLY haven't done it yet (because you've always had backup), or you can just kiss my ***, because the lay public, anecdotally, does not agree with you.