Finances and my fiance's medical school?

[navybluegirl]

Long time lurker, but have found an occasion to post!

Background: My fiance and I have been dating for four years, and are both seniors in college currently. He is aiming towards medical school, and I am going to graduate school for biology.

The Issue: My fiance (let's call him Jim) is not a rich man by any stretch, and neither is his family. I, however, came into money several years ago (distinct from my parents). Things are looking like I will land a T.A. position and have my graduate school paid for, while Jim is being forced to look at loans that frankly scare both of us.

The Question: Should I pay for my fiance's medical school/ pay his loans off right after we are married? What would you, as a medical student or family member, do in my place?

I am thinking about the future and how pointless it seems to have loans and pay so much extra in interest and fees when the money is currently available. However, I am very hesitant because I have heard about so many couples splitting apart in med-school, and losing the money would add insult to injury in that case. Any thoughts?

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[J ROD]

Wow, I like this one.

My advice is to not pay for his school. I imagine you are both under 25 and many folks change as they truly start to figure out who they are.

Not to mention med school is very hard and will demand a ton from him. Plus, it will more than likely put strain on the relationship. My GF is really good but she gets frustrated often. I have to study all the time and cant see her some weekends. Depends on how needy you both are.

Also, as a man, I would not and I bet he probably would like for you to pay his loans. It would make me feel obligated in a weird way and sort of hurt the man pride.

Now, if later on, you are married, etc. Then, use the money to pay off the loans if you wish.

It is not a wise move to do that at this time.

 

[SeekerOfTheTree]

Long time lurker, but have found an occasion to post!

Background: My fiance and I have been dating for four years, and are both seniors in college currently. He is aiming towards medical school, and I am going to graduate school for biology.

The Issue: My fiance (let's call him Jim) is not a rich man by any stretch, and neither is his family. I, however, came into money several years ago (distinct from my parents). Things are looking like I will land a T.A. position and have my graduate school paid for, while Jim is being forced to look at loans that frankly scare both of us.

The Question: Should I pay for my fiance's medical school/ pay his loans off right after we are married? What would you, as a medical student or family member, do in my place?

I am thinking about the future and how pointless it seems to have loans and pay so much extra in interest and fees when the money is currently available. However, I am very hesitant because I have heard about so many couples splitting apart in med-school, and losing the money would add insult to injury in that case. Any thoughts?

Couples split up who are dating. Married people generally have the same divorce rate as the general public from what I have seen.

 

[KayD]

I would have your fiancé take out a loan. Not because you two may not be together after medical school, but because money or not, that's a huge amount of finances to take out when you will already be paying for your own higher education. Investing your money is a far better option and working to pay it off later will leave you both with more stability through your education and early years of residency.

 

[mercaptovizadeh]

Long time lurker, but have found an occasion to post!

Background: My fiance and I have been dating for four years, and are both seniors in college currently. He is aiming towards medical school, and I am going to graduate school for biology.

The Issue: My fiance (let's call him Jim) is not a rich man by any stretch, and neither is his family. I, however, came into money several years ago (distinct from my parents). Things are looking like I will land a T.A. position and have my graduate school paid for, while Jim is being forced to look at loans that frankly scare both of us.

The Question: Should I pay for my fiance's medical school/ pay his loans off right after we are married? What would you, as a medical student or family member, do in my place?

I am thinking about the future and how pointless it seems to have loans and pay so much extra in interest and fees when the money is currently available. However, I am very hesitant because I have heard about so many couples splitting apart in med-school, and losing the money would add insult to injury in that case. Any thoughts?

I would put that money into a joint investment, like a home. That way even if things go awry, it's at most 50:50 on that asset (likely more for you, since you provided the bulk of the funds). Med school loans are a lot more evanescent/tenuous sort of thing, and I think it would be hard to get that "asset" back (i.e. get half of his salary for a very long time).

 

[Prncssbuttercup]

Nope, you don't pay for his med school. My friend in FM just pulled in 290k in the Minneapolis area, you'll be able to pay back the loans no problem... don't take on that financial burden, let him take the loans out...

 

[LADoc00]

The thought that someone you are dating would pay for your med school is a bit nuts.

If he is poor with lots of debt, tell him to study hard and hit Rads or something with big $ potential..

Grats on your windfall, protect it and invest wisely while you are young.

PS- PhD in BioSci is near worthless IMO but good luck with that.

 

[SeekerOfTheTree]

True story, knew a guy who had his wife pay for medical school. After he was done he left her. She was devastated. Don't be that girl.

 

[Lys Ile Glu Leu]

True story, knew a guy who had his wife pay for medical school. After he was done he left her. She was devastated. Don't be that girl.

That guy is not worth his weight in dirt. What a c___! The system does favor sociopaths..

OP - people survive the loans and interest rates routinely. It may not be comfortable, but it's a common sacrifice we make. He'll live with the loans. Save your money.

 

[type12]

Student debt is good debt if all goes well. The interest is tax deductible, meaning when your husband is a successful MD, those 35% tax brackets bucks become $35/$1000 bigger. Yes, you'll have to pay it back, but it's not bad by any stretch, as long as he's making six figures (which most doctors will).

 

[Arch Guillotti]

Student debt is good debt if all goes well. The interest is tax deductible, meaning when your husband is a successful MD, those 35% tax brackets bucks become $35/$1000 bigger. Yes, you'll have to pay it back, but it's not bad by any stretch, as long as he's making six figures (which most doctors will).

Not really true. Deduction is phased out based on your AGI.

 

[type12]

Not really true. Deduction is phased out based on your AGI.

If it's phased out, I think you're making enough that the debt is not an issue

But good point.

 

[Arch Guillotti]

If it's phased out, I think you're making enough that the debt is not an issue

But good point.

You would be surprised when you start paying back school debt, have a house, a wife, kids, all kinds of insurance products, etc, etc, etc and are paying taxes out the wazoo...

 

[type12]

You would be surprised when you start paying back school debt, have a house, a wife, kids, all kinds of insurance products, etc, etc, etc and are paying taxes out the wazoo...

This sounds like poor planning, no? Why would you buy a house (and who would approve your mortgage for that matter) if you're not financially secure with a 6-figure income.

Seriously, even with a student debt (i.e., low interest rate) of 6-figures in size, a six figure salary just means you aren't good with money, not that it's crippling debt.

Reminds me of that basketball player who argued that his millions of dollars is not enough to feed his poor kids. It's a 1%er problem, not a real financial issue.

 

[UES Girl]

This sounds like poor planning, no? Why would you buy a house (and who would approve your mortgage for that matter) if you're not financially secure with a 6-figure income.

Seriously, even with a student debt (i.e., low interest rate) of 6-figures in size, a six figure salary just means you aren't good with money, not that it's crippling debt.

Reminds me of that basketball player who argued that his millions of dollars is not enough to feed his poor kids. It's a 1%er problem, not a real financial issue.

Dude what stage of training are you in ? I ask becquse your argument sounds so naive. Have you been around many attendings ? It's person specific but depending on your specialty, career of your spouse, your geographical location and cost of living there - your "attending" salary is not gonna last you like a gold cushy investment fund.

Lets say you are an attending at UCSF ( where my bf attended before and while doing his training met a bunch of friends so we are aware how much most specialties make ) depending on your specialty you can be making as little as 130-140k there. So now imagine you have a wife who is a teacher or researcher and makes beween 40-70k a year. So now you make 200 between the two of you. Now imagine you want to buy a house in San Francisco - most people can't and have to live at outskirts but if you try you are looking at a million plus. Now you also have to pay back your loans, you got two kids - perphaps you want to send them to a private school (10-35 k a year ) and now you are scrambling to get buy. Simple math and basic common sense and you see just being an attending doesnt guarantee you sworming in gold.

 

[docelh]

No

 

[type12]

Dude what stage of training are you in ? I ask becquse your argument sounds so naive. Have you been around many attendings ? It's person specific but depending on your specialty, career of your spouse, your geographical location and cost of living there - your "attending" salary is not gonna last you like a gold cushy investment fund.

Lets say you are an attending at UCSF ( where my bf attended before and while doing his training met a bunch of friends so we are aware how much most specialties make ) depending on your specialty you can be making as little as 130-140k there. So now imagine you have a wife who is a teacher or researcher and makes beween 40-70k a year. So now you make 200 between the two of you. Now imagine you want to buy a house in San Francisco - most people can't and have to live at outskirts but if you try you are looking at a million plus. Now you also have to pay back your loans, you got two kids - perphaps you want to send them to a private school (10-35 k a year ) and now you are scrambling to get buy. Simple math and basic common sense and you see just being an attending doesnt guarantee you sworming in gold.

I REALLY recommend reflecting over your own words, particularly the words in bold. Your math is completely off, and taking on luxuries is a fault of your own. This is being bad with money by living beyond your means. If your debt is so crippling, then why would you stupidly pile on a mortgage (and how would you qualify if it's that bad?). Same goes with private school.

I'm sorry you can't live like Donald Trump, but your struggles are first-world 1%er troubles. Go to your average, median (not mean) salary worker of 75k in one of the most expensive cities in the world (NYC), and be in awe with how someone with 500k debt is able to raise 2 kids and give them all they need.

I KNOW med school and beyond does not entitle you to 10mil in debt, so there's really just no excuse with 200k.

My original advice is sound.

 

[penguin24]

I have to agree w/ the pre-med. If you have so much in loans, then why in the world would you buy a 1M house and send your kids to private schools. This sounds like the professor from Chicago a while back who was complaining that this household income of $250k/yr didn't go far, b/c after paying for his enormous house, his personal gardener, private school for his kids, and his luxury cars, there wasn't much left. This sounds like somebody who is living beyond their means trying to keep up w/ the Joneses.

However, when you make 6 figures, you can no longer deduct your student loan interest. And even if you could, like during residency when you make 50k, you can only deduct $2,500/yr. This means that only the first $37,000 in student loans is tax-deductable (assuming 6.8% interest). Any interest payments you make on loans over than amount (which most med students easily clear 100k) is not tax-deductable.

 

[UES Girl]

I have to agree w/ the pre-med. If you have so much in loans, then why in the world would you buy a 1M house and send your kids to private schools. This sounds like the professor from Chicago a while back who was complaining that this household income of $250k/yr didn't go far, b/c after paying for his enormous house, his personal gardener, private school for his kids, and his luxury cars, there wasn't much left. This sounds like somebody who is living beyond their means trying to keep up w/ the Joneses.

However, when you make 6 figures, you can no longer deduct your student loan interest. And even if you could, like during residency when you make 50k, you can only deduct $2,500/yr. This means that only the first $37,000 in student loans is tax-deductable (assuming 6.8% interest). Any interest payments you make on loans over than amount (which most med students easily clear 100k) is not tax-deductable.

1M house is about the average cost of the house in the city if you want to live close to work and not commute one to hour to work each way ( prolly not the smartest idea when you are in medicine), not some extravagant mansion you guys are making it out to be. The point I am making is after spending 10 years in post college training ( 4 years med school, 4 years residency, 2 year fellowship ), one should expect at least to be able to buy a house in an area he works at ( and this cost is very different than elsewhere in the country due to a cost of living differences) and that is a reasonable expectation. Just like sending your kids to good school is a reasonable expectation as well.

The pre-med is quacking now, but I'd like to see him 10 years later after he finishes all his training and then see what he says.

 

[smq123]

1M house is about the average cost of the house in the city if you want to live close to work and not commute one to hour to work each way ( prolly not the smartest idea when you are in medicine), not some extravagant mansion you guys are making it out to be. The point I am making is after spending 10 years in post college training ( 4 years med school, 4 years residency, 2 year fellowship ), one should expect at least to be able to buy a house in an area he works at ( and this cost is very different than elsewhere in the country due to a cost of living differences) and that is a reasonable expectation. Just like sending your kids to good school is a reasonable expectation as well.

The pre-med is quacking now, but I'd like to see him 10 years later after he finishes all his training and then see what he says.

You're basing your analysis based on the costs of houses in San Francisco and NYC, which are two of the most expensive cities in the US.

Houses in most other cities do not cost nearly as much. A $1million home in some place like Philly or Tampa IS pretty extravagant.

 

[UES Girl]

You're basing your analysis based on the costs of houses in San Francisco and NYC, which are two of the most expensive cities in the US.

Houses in most other cities do not cost nearly as much. A $1million home in some place like Philly or Tampa IS pretty extravagant.

I'm not even carrying out any analysis ! I'm simply laying out the facts on the cost of living which for some reason no one here seems to take into consideration, I'm basically saying - here's how much you make, here's how much property costs, and I don't think it's unreasonable to want to buy a house in the city you live in, which may so happen to be San Francisco or NY. So while some naive pre-meds may think you are a baller or have "poor planning skills", I can actually see how even with attending salary depending on your specialty you aren't exactly "set" and may live an average to lower middle class lifestyle.

And don't even get me started on the whole 1st world/3rd world debate because if I wanted to live dealing with 3rd world problems I would have stayed in a third world country. Physicians also make about 100$ a month where I grew up and are some of the least respected lesser earning people so I don't even think that comment is even applicable here.

 

[smq123]

I'm not even carrying out any analysis ! I'm simply laying out the facts on the cost of living which for some reason no one here seems to take into consideration, I'm basically saying - here's how much you make, here's how much property costs, and I don't think it's unreasonable to want to buy a house in the city you live in, which may so happen to be San Francisco or NY. So while some naive pre-meds may think you are a baller or have "poor planning skills", I can actually see how even with attending salary depending on your specialty you aren't exactly "set" and may live an average to lower middle class lifestyle.

I think "average to lower middle class lifestyle" is a little bit of an exaggeration. Unless you're in outpatient peds and have 8 kids, you'll still be average-to-high.

It's not unreasonable to want to buy a house in the city where you live, but I think it's also reasonable to say that in some cities, even on an attending salary, that's not economically savvy. Which is why some people turn down job offers in NYC, or Boston, or Miami, or San Francisco. And I think it's also fair to say that buying a house in any of those markets may not be the smartest decision.

And don't even get me started on the whole 1st world/3rd world debate because if I wanted to live dealing with 3rd world problems I would have stayed in a third world country. Physicians also make about 100$ a month where I grew up and are some of the least respected lesser earning people so I don't even think that comment is even applicable here.

Who brought up 1st/3rd world debate?

 

[Dmr6186]

I'm not even carrying out any analysis ! I'm simply laying out the facts on the cost of living which for some reason no one here seems to take into consideration, I'm basically saying - here's how much you make, here's how much property costs, and I don't think it's unreasonable to want to buy a house in the city you live in, which may so happen to be San Francisco or NY. So while some naive pre-meds may think you are a baller or have "poor planning skills", I can actually see how even with attending salary depending on your specialty you aren't exactly "set" and may live an average to lower middle class lifestyle.

And don't even get me started on the whole 1st world/3rd world debate because if I wanted to live dealing with 3rd world problems I would have stayed in a third world country. Physicians also make about 100$ a month where I grew up and are some of the least respected lesser earning people so I don't even think that comment is even applicable here.

Sorry but if you can't manage your life on a "measly" 150k/year (???) you're doing something terribly wrong.

 

[bopper]

Also keep in mind that if you comingle the inheritance money with your marital money, i.e., pay for his loans, buy a house together, put in a joint account then it becomes joint money if he were to leave you or you him. If you keep it separate then I believe it would remain yours in a divorce. What if he doesn't finish med school? Yes, I know you don't want to plan for a divorce. I would talk to an attorney. Perhaps you do a pre-nup that states that you will pay for the loans but in the event of divorce he has to pay you back.

Are you getting married before medical school? Are you going to be going to grad school in the same area where he would go to medical school?

I would advise not paying any of his loans at first but reserve the right to do so later when things are more stable.

In any case, consult an attorney.

 

[NYCNative]

I wouldn't discount any of the advice that's been offered here, and I actually think holding off on paying it could be the best thing to do financially. Personally, I would put the money in an investment account and hope for 10%-- better than the 6.8% interest you'd be paying. Also, I would essentially plan to have your fiance work for a non-profit hospital or university for his residency and the first years of his career to qualify for the 10 year public service loan forgiveness. Then you can use part of that money to pay off the tax bill. I would pay attention to this route as you'll save the most money in the long run.