Giving up hope--need some encouragement / advice.

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sylphina

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Hi everyone. The reason I'm posting is because I have a personal situation I would truly appreciate having some advice on. I am getting to the point where I have given up hope. :/

I had a very good application this year, and I was accepted to several places across the country. At the moment, I am holding an acceptance a Texas school (I am a Texas resident). Unfortunately, my fiancee is contracted to work for the next four years in Michigan. I was accepted to Wayne State University as an out-of-stater, but as you may know, the non-resident tuition at this school is astronomically expensive. I feel like I would have to be crazy to turn down a cheap Texas school for a school that is 60K/year.

Aside from Wayne, I was not accepted to any schools that are even remotely near my fiancee. :/ I am currently waitlisted at Case and the University of Pittsburgh, which are both within driving distance of him, at least. I have written both of these schools to let them know of my continued interest, but as of yet, I have no news from them. I feel as though I have no choice in this situation--I either have to give up the love of my life or give up medical school. I could reapply next year, but from what people have said, I would probably not be accepted anywhere if I gave up an acceptance this year. So in reality, I believe there is no way out of this situation. No matter what I do, I will have to sacrifice something important to me.

Is there something I haven't thought of? Is it possible, perhaps, to transfer to a school near him at a later point? Do you guys think I should inform these schools of the situation, or would that simply be giving them too much personal information? I would truly appreciate some advice.
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sylphina said:
Hi everyone. The reason I'm posting is because I have a personal situation I would truly appreciate having some advice on. I am getting to the point where I have given up hope. :/

I had a very good application this year, and I was accepted to several places across the country. At the moment, I am holding an acceptance a Texas school (I am a Texas resident). Unfortunately, my fiancee is contracted to work for the next four years in Michigan. I was accepted to Wayne State University as an out-of-stater, but as you may know, the non-resident tuition at this school is astronomically expensive. I feel like I would have to be crazy to turn down a cheap Texas school for a school that is 60K/year.

Aside from Wayne, I was not accepted to any schools that are even remotely near my fiancee. :/ I am currently waitlisted at Case and the University of Pittsburgh, which are both within driving distance of him, at least. I have written both of these schools to let them know of my continued interest, but as of yet, I have no news from them. I feel as though I have no choice in this situation--I either have to give up the love of my life or give up medical school. I could reapply next year, but from what people have said, I would probably not be accepted anywhere if I gave up an acceptance this year. So in reality, I believe there is no way out of this situation. No matter what I do, I will have to sacrifice something important to me.

Is there something I haven't thought of? Is it possible, perhaps, to transfer to a school near him at a later point? Do you guys think I should inform these schools of the situation, or would that simply be giving them too much personal information? I would truly appreciate some advice.
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some schools allow transfers for legitimate reasons (such as yours) but its not something id bank on. You could inform case in an update letter about your situation. Like say all the reasons you want to go there that are not personal then in the end sorta throw it in. Im in the same situation right now except instead of a fiancee its my son. Case really does appreciate update letters/ LOI.

At least in your case though you have options, you are not screwed by any means, it could be far far worse. I mean paying 60K a yr for tuition isnt ideal but you get to be next to your future husband. Id say thats easily worth it if you feel this relationship is truly in for the long haul. In the end the debt isnt going to cripple you and you wont be the first doctor to have 300k+ loans to pay back. My PI has 400k+ in loans and is doing just fine as a trauma surgeon. he makes like 400k a yr and pays 3k in loan payments per month. Point is those loan payments dont even make a small dent in his monthly pay.

If the relationship is for real (i know lots of people who are engaged and just nothing ever comes from it) then just go to wayne state and dont look back. When you are a doctor the loans can always be paid back. And taking an extra 200k in debt is certainly ok if it means being with your husband. I know if i got accepted to USC id be paying insane tuition like wayne state, but id do it in a heartbeat just to be near my son. Im sure you feel the same way about your husband
 
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why doesn't he give up his job in MI and find one near you in TX? I'm sure you two have discussed all options, but from your post it sounds like you feel like you have to be the one to make the sacrifice. anyway, if this truly is the love of your life and you are meant for each other, you can do the long-distance thing for four years. it's not like he's off in Afghanistan or Iraq or somewhere. there are plenty of direct flights between Detroit and the major Texas cities
 
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sylphina said:
Hi everyone. The reason I'm posting is because I have a personal situation I would truly appreciate having some advice on. I am getting to the point where I have given up hope. :/

I had a very good application this year, and I was accepted to several places across the country. At the moment, I am holding an acceptance a Texas school (I am a Texas resident). Unfortunately, my fiancee is contracted to work for the next four years in Michigan. I was accepted to Wayne State University as an out-of-stater, but as you may know, the non-resident tuition at this school is astronomically expensive. I feel like I would have to be crazy to turn down a cheap Texas school for a school that is 60K/year.

Aside from Wayne, I was not accepted to any schools that are even remotely near my fiancee. :/ I am currently waitlisted at Case and the University of Pittsburgh, which are both within driving distance of him, at least. I have written both of these schools to let them know of my continued interest, but as of yet, I have no news from them. I feel as though I have no choice in this situation--I either have to give up the love of my life or give up medical school. I could reapply next year, but from what people have said, I would probably not be accepted anywhere if I gave up an acceptance this year. So in reality, I believe there is no way out of this situation. No matter what I do, I will have to sacrifice something important to me.

Is there something I haven't thought of? Is it possible, perhaps, to transfer to a school near him at a later point? Do you guys think I should inform these schools of the situation, or would that simply be giving them too much personal information? I would truly appreciate some advice.
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What kind of work contract is for 4 years? Why can't he find work in Texas? He is the one who should have some flexibility...

You should go to med school in Texas...no such thing as medical school transfers - it just doesn't work that way...the cost differential is staggering, probably around $200k, right?

And no offense, Michiganders, but Detroit stinks.

Stay on the wait lists to the bitter end...
 
If your bf's salary < the difference between the schools' tuition (=60k-12k=48k), ask him to quit his job no matter what and find a new job in TX.
 
Many schools allow transfers, on a limited basis, after the second year. You could look into that. It'd be easier to do long distance for two years than four, after all.
 
If it were possible for him to move, I'm sure he would. Unfortunately, like I mentioned, he is contracted to work and if he broke the contract, it would be very difficult for him to find a job. He has health problems and being without health insurance (without a job) would be a very dangerous situation for him. If it came down to it, I would tell him to keep his job and his health insurance above our relationship.

EDIT: I forgot to mention how he got into this situation in the first place. He was unable to find a job anywhere else and was forced to take the only job he was offered because of his need for health insurance.
 
Felixibility on his part may not be possible. Some jobs require you to sign a contract stating you'll work for X amount of years. A friend of mine recently graduated with a materials engineering degree and had to sign a contract stating he would work for 2 years or have to pay something back...benefits or something, I don't remember. He regrets it now, as he hates his job and wants to go back for a PhD. I'm not sure how common this is. Just an anecdote.

I would take Wayne State if any of the waitlist schools do not come through as long as you think your relationship is worth it. I'd rather have a little bit more debt in the long run than miss out on marrying the person I truly love.
 
Seems like being close to your fiance is very important to you. So go to the more expensive school that allows you guys to be together. As other posters said, you'll be able to pay the loans back eventually.
2 things to keep in mind - will the school consider you in-state after a year, or is it one of those where you will remain OOS for 4 years? Also, they may not offer you the full amount in loans to cover tuition, and you may need to obtain outside funding (happened to a friend of mine) - in which case, you need to be able to get extra loans on your own. If you can do it - then go ahead. In the meantime, remain on the waitlists, send LOIs.
 
AlbaMD said:
Seems like being close to your fiance is very important to you. So go to the more expensive school that allows you guys to be together. As other posters said, you'll be able to pay the loans back eventually.
2 things to keep in mind - will the school consider you in-state after a year, or is it one of those where you will remain OOS for 4 years? Also, they may not offer you the full amount in loans to cover tuition, and you may need to obtain outside funding (happened to a friend of mine) - in which case, you need to be able to get extra loans on your own. If you can do it - then go ahead. In the meantime, remain on the waitlists, send LOIs.
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Do you all think I should tell the schools I'm on the waitlist at about my situation? Would it be wrong to bring personal motivations into my application process?
 
I think it's a clear sign of something you're not understanding. Marriage is about sacrifice and commitment. Your fiance should have understood that when he proposed to you and should know that this situation is an example of that. I would not give up your dreams or anything of that sort. You two need to come to an understanding that, yes, you will be gone for 3-4 years in another state. However, you will have the rest of your lives together. Relative to that, these years are trivial. Talk about that, because if he doesn't understand this, I honestly don't see this relationship lasting. My fiancee and I have sacrificed so much for each other with the understanding that THAT is what comes with being with another person. That ring is him telling you that. I would get into the mood that you will probably be going to Texas and he needs to be supportive.
 
sylphina said:
Do you all think I should tell the schools I'm on the waitlist at about my situation? Would it be wrong to bring personal motivations into my application process?
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I think you should tell them, but make sure it isn't the only reason you give them for wanting to attend.
 
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I think it would be too much to ask your fiancee to quit his job. That is kinda ridic....
 
Kaustikos said:
I think it's a clear sign of something you're not understanding. Marriage is about sacrifice and commitment. Your fiance should have understood that when he proposed to you and should know that this situation is an example of that. I would not give up your dreams or anything of that sort. You two need to come to an understanding that, yes, you will be gone for 3-4 years in another state. However, you will have the rest of your lives together. Relative to that, these years are trivial. Talk about that, because if he doesn't understand this, I honestly don't see this relationship lasting. My fiancee and I have sacrificed so much for each other with the understanding that THAT is what comes with being with another person. That ring is him telling you that. I would get into the mood that you will probably be going to Texas and he needs to be supportive.
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I agree with this to a certain extent. My wife and I were together for about 7 years total. When it came down to it shes not willing to move across country with me to medical school or deal with more schooling, this was the main reason she left me. Im not saying your situation is the same as mine because I dont know you. But just something to think about. It takes huge sacrifice from both sides, if one isnt willing to give it everything, then it usually ends up in failure, as i now know.
 
Elijah05 said:
I agree with this to a certain extent. My wife and I were together for about 7 years total. When it came down to it shes not willing to move across country with me to medical school or deal with more schooling, this was the main reason she left me. Im not saying your situation is the same as mine because I dont know you. But just something to think about. It takes huge sacrifice from both sides, if one isnt willing to give it everything, then it usually ends up in failure, as i now know.
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Keep in mind that if I asked him to move with me, I would not only be asking him to quit his job--I would also be asking him to sacrifice his well-being and safety (his health insurance). I think it would be selfish of me to do that.
 
This is just me, but developing a successful non-physician career is much harder becoming a physician ONCE you are in medical school.


Its pretty hard to find a job these days.
 
sylphina said:
Keep in mind that if I asked him to move with me, I would not only be asking him to quit his job--I would also be asking him to sacrifice his well-being and safety (his health insurance). I think it would be selfish of me to do that.
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A few random thoughts:

If you were married, you might be able to get health insurance for him through your school. Check into it.

You'd have a much stronger case for being admitted or transferring if you were married rather than "engaged".

The difference in cost between the two schools could make it possible to afford a few airline tickets during the year, no?

He's got a 4 year commitment and you've got one, too. Throw all your energies into day-to-day school work and look forward to your vacation/weekend reunions every 8-12 weeks.

sobering thought:

Many relationships don't survive medical school. Many medical school marriages don't survive. Proceed at your own risk.
 
sylphina said:
Keep in mind that if I asked him to move with me, I would not only be asking him to quit his job--I would also be asking him to sacrifice his well-being and safety (his health insurance). I think it would be selfish of me to do that.
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Then why did you guys get engaged? Was this not discussed before?:confused:
 
sylphina said:
Keep in mind that if I asked him to move with me, I would not only be asking him to quit his job--I would also be asking him to sacrifice his well-being and safety (his health insurance). I think it would be selfish of me to do that.
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Didn't you apply to any other medical schools around UMich? If memory serves me right, the University of Toledo and Michigan State University are both located like an hour away from Ann Arbor and they admit something like 50-100 out of state students every year. If you had applied or gotten into one of those schools, not only would you be able to go school close to your fiance but also live with him since those schools are within commuting distance from each other.

Speaking of which, I don't understand how you can consider Case and UPitt as being much more expensive than WSU. Those two schools are both private and tuition is also around $50,000-$60,000 per year. I think you should go to WSU if you already got in. I don't really understand the whole 4 year contract thing. Is he doing a 4 year residency or is he working full-time and taking classes (via the tuition reimbursement) at UMich? That might explain why he can't simply break his contract.
 
Ohio SMP said:
Didn't you apply to any other medical schools around UMich? If memory serves me right, the University of Toledo and Michigan State University are both located like an hour away from Ann Arbor and they admit something like 50-100 out of state students every year. If you had applied or gotten into one of those schools, not only would you be able to go school close to your fiance but also live with him since those schools are within commuting distance from each other.

Speaking of which, I don't understand how you can consider Case and UPitt as being much more expensive than WSU. Those two schools are both private and tuition is also around $50,000-$60,000 per year. I think you should go to WSU if you already got in. I don't really understand the whole 4 year contract thing. Is he doing a 4 year residency or is he working full-time and taking classes (via the tuition reimbursement) at UMich? That might explain why he can't simply break his contract.
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Sadly, I did apply to the schools around where he lives and did not get into any of them. :/ WSU is 59K/yr, if memory serves right, while Pitt and Case are 40K/yr and 45K/yr, respectively. One thing has made a difference for me is the fact that WSU did not accomodate all of the money I will need in my financial aid package, which means I would have to get funding from outside.

He is not in residency or taking classes, but he signed a contract to stay with the job he's at. If he broke the contract, it would be very difficult for him to get any references for any job.
 
If you love him, then go to Wayne. Asking your fiance to quit his job and go with you when you already are accepted to a school in Detroit is unreasonable.
 
Lizzy makes a very good point about the health insurance. If your spouse can access health insurance through your medical student policy, then problem solved. Frankly, the 4 year employment contract is not really an obstacle - people walk away from employment contracts all the time. The employer is unlikely to waste any money suing him - much easier just to hire someone else. So he does not get a reference - big deal.

So perhaps the solution is getting married sooner rather than later, if that will solve the insurance problem. And then he can find a job near your medical school. You need a ring on your finger and a wedding date.
 
searun said:
Lizzy makes a very good point about the health insurance. If your spouse can access health insurance through your medical student policy, then problem solved. Frankly, the 4 year employment contract is not really an obstacle - people walk away from employment contracts all the time. The employer is unlikely to waste any money suing him - much easier just to hire someone else. So he does not get a reference - big deal.

So perhaps the solution is getting married sooner rather than later, if that will solve the insurance problem. And then he can find a job near your medical school. You need a ring on your finger and a wedding date.
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Don't you think that's a little naive?
 
Pompacil said:
Don't you think that's a little naive?
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No, I do not think it is naive to assume that this guy can find a job in Texas. Hell, I would parachute into Houston or Dallas and have decent gainful employment within 24 hours. I guarantee it.

I am assuming this fellow is reasonably well educated since he is engaged to a prospective med student. And unless he has the social skills of Igor in Frankenstein, there are jobs to be had, even in our current down economy. It just takes self confidence and energy.
 
searun said:
No, I do not think it is naive to assume that this guy can find a job in Texas. Hell, I would parachute into Houston or Dallas and have decent gainful employment within 24 hours. I guarantee it.

I am assuming this fellow is reasonably well educated since he is engaged to a prospective med student. And unless he has the social skills of Igor in Frankenstein, there are jobs to be had, even in our current down economy. It just takes self confidence and energy.
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Oh, I didn't realize that all those unemployed folks were lazy dimwits with no social graces. Thanks for clearing that up.
 
He is an actuarial analyst, in case anyone is wondering. It can actually be kind of tough to find a job in the field right now. He originally tried to get a job in Dallas but it didn't work out. :( He looked for months and found nothing.
 
"College Graduates Face Toughest Job Market in Years

By JOHN BERMAN

HARTFORD, Conn., May 20, 2009—

Casey Savage graduated from Trinity College in Hartford with a 3.8 grade-point average and honors. What he doesn't have is a job.
"I've talked to 24 different firms so far. Hedge funds, investment banks, private equity shops," Savage said. "And I just feel that there's limited opportunities at this point."
It's a familiar refrain being echoed at colleges and universities across the country, as the economy continues to slump and layoffs, furloughs and pay cuts dominate the employment landscape. The struggling economy means college seniors are facing one of the toughest job markets in years.
According to a survey from National Association of Colleges and Employers, the class of 2009 is leaving campus with fewer jobs in hand than their 2008 counterparts. The group's 2009 Student Survey found that just 19.7 percent of 2009 graduates who applied for a job actually have one.
In comparison, 51 percent of those graduating in 2007 and 26 percent of those graduating in 2008 who had applied for a job had one in hand by the time of graduation.
Economist say the members of this year's graduating class are also facing unique challenges not only because they are dueling against the growing ranks of unemployed for work, but because they are also facing a backlog created from last year's graduates who have yet to find fulltime employment.
Bryan Hopkins, a senior at the University of Florida, calls the situation frustrating. "You feel frustrated because you feel now that was it all worth it," he said. "In a perfect world, I would have walked right off the stage and into a fulltime job in my field, but I mean I have the degree now and I am still waiting."
Yale University School of Management professor Lisa Kahn said recent college graduates will suffer the long-term effects of this recession much more than their counterparts who graduated in boom times.
Departing seniors are "suffering from the recession like everyone else is, but the effects are going to stay with (them) for much longer," Kahn said.

Tougher Times Ahead for Grads

Kahn studied the impact of the recession in the 1980s and found that seniors who graduated then were still feeling the impact 20 years later. Today's seniors are "going to be earning much less than their counterparts who graduated in better times and they'll be in lower level occupations," she said.
University of Arizona senior Reyna Nowaczyk said the lack of job prospects has left her "overwhelmed."
"I don't know what to do next," she said. "I've done all the right things: done my fair share of internships, studied abroad. I've studied languages while abroad. I have my letters of recommendation from employers. I feel like I prepared myself; I feel like I'm ready. I want to work."
But according to employment professionals, graduating seniors will need to be flexible in this economy.
"If I were a 22-year-old today I would be willing to take an unpaid internship," said Lanna Hagge, director of Career Services at Trinity College. "I would be willing to do almost anything just to get the experience and exposure."
That's advice Trinity graduate Chauncy Kerr is taking. She is looking to land an unpaid internship this summer.
"You get job experience so I'm excited about that," Kerr said. But, she added, "It would be nice to get paid."

Copyright © 2009 ABC News Internet Ventures"



personal anecdote

I graduated a year early (from an overpriced ivy league school) so I could work for a year and then go to med school (I was really excited to make money). During my lag year, I ended up applying to approximately 900 jobs all over the country. I got around 5 offers in the end, 2 from pharmas and 3 were from just academic labs (I applied everywhere - I had math/chem majors). By August, hiring freezes started. I just didn't like the dull pharma environment, so I stuck to the lab work even though I have no money in the bank right now. As for my close friends graduating this year, I just checked fb and can tell you out of 100 ppl from the class of 09 (non-grad school going ones), 3 of them have a job, with only 1 of them being decent but in a soon to be bankrupt firm. This economy is really forcing people to change their line of thinking.


Good thing I got into med school, I don't have to worry about that anymore.
 
but back to topic,


I agree w/ searun. I think the OP should go to texas and ask her fiancee to move. However, if I was the guy in that situation, I would not, and I would probably end the relationship after trying the long-distance thing for a month. After working for a year, its pretty hard and expensive to make time for people that are not in your immediate circle.


But, I am neither the OP or her fiancee
 
On the other hand, military couples make it work when one is in school and the other is overseas, or under the sea, and unavailable for weeks or months at a time. If you want to make it work, it can work. (Then again, I had a classmate who made a living as a divorce lawyer near a military base until she couldn't stand it anymore and found a better way of life.)

As I see it, short of getting off a waitlist you have 3 options:

Long distance relationship x 4 years

Quickie marriage and his possible unemployment in Texas (also consider the baggage that comes with the quickie divorce, if that ends up happening)

Natural death of the relationship perhaps by Thanksgiving
 
LizzyM said:
On the other hand, military couples make it work when one is in school and the other is overseas, or under the sea, and unavailable for weeks or months at a time. If you want to make it work, it can work. (Then again, I had a classmate who made a living as a divorce lawyer near a military base until she couldn't stand it anymore and found a better way of life.)

As I see it, short of getting off a waitlist you have 3 options:

Long distance relationship x 4 years

Quickie marriage and his possible unemployment in Texas (also consider the baggage that comes with the quickie divorce, if that ends up happening)

Natural death of the relationship perhaps by Thanksgiving
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LizzyM, would it be med school suicide to move to Michigan, establish residency there, and then apply again next year?
 
sylphina said:
LizzyM, would it be med school suicide to move to Michigan, establish residency there, and then apply again next year?
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Did you apply to all the Michigan schools this year? If they didn't take you (except Wayne) why will they take you next year? How much stronger will your application be? Will being in-state be a big boost to your application? Will being non-trad be a big boost?

I don't know the answer to those questions and I don't know if those factors may overcome the "scarlet letter" of having refused an offer of admission at an "in-state" Texas school as well as an OOS Michigan school. If someone gets offers and turns down all the offers questions are raised as to whether that person really wants to go to medical school or if they are some wacko who just likes the challenge of applying.

If you matriculate in Michigan and the relationship falls apart, will you regret having given up your TX spot?

If you give up the TX spot, your relationship flourishes, but you never get another opportunity to go to medical school, will you regret your decision?
 
LizzyM said:
Did you apply to all the Michigan schools this year? If they didn't take you (except Wayne) why will they take you next year? How much stronger will your application be? Will being in-state be a big boost to your application? Will being non-trad be a big boost?

I don't know the answer to those questions and I don't know if those factors may overcome the "scarlet letter" of having refused an offer of admission at an "in-state" Texas school as well as an OOS Michigan school. If someone gets offers and turns down all the offers questions are raised as to whether that person really wants to go to medical school or if they are some wacko who just likes the challenge of applying.

If you matriculate in Michigan and the relationship falls apart, will you regret having given up your TX spot?

If you give up the TX spot, your relationship flourishes, but you never get another opportunity to go to medical school, will you regret your decision?
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I applied to Wayne State University and the University of Michigan. I did not apply to Michigan State University because I was told they accept no out-of-state applicants. I believe those are the only three medical schools in Michigan.

The questions you asked are very important and I am giving a lot of thought to them. For now, I have sent a letter to the dean of admissions at Wayne. I am hoping that it might be possible for me to defer my admission for a year and establish residency in Michigan. Hopefully he will listen to my plea. :)
 
sylphina said:
LizzyM, would it be med school suicide to move to Michigan, establish residency there, and then apply again next year?
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Here's a much better idea: take the Wayne State offer and ask to defer for a year. Move there, get a job for a year, establish residency...voila, you saved $200,000. I go to Michigan State and they allow deferment for this purpose. Get in touch with Wayne and see if they'll do the same.

You have multiple acceptances to med school. DO NOT turn them all down and take your luck again next year. Make the choice now whether the price difference is worth the long distance. I really don't see how you could end up in a better situation anyways - if your best case scenario is $40,000/yr tuition and a long drive away from him....take the $50,000+ at Wayne if you want to be near him. That's not THAT big of a difference that it's worth gambling your admission for.

Btw - I got married right before med school. Med school is tough, marriage is tough. There are people in my class making long-distance marriages work but I have no idea how. In almost all situations I'd say take the cheaper school...but it would be worth it to me to be with my spouse.

And if you're worried about money, don't be too sad you didn't get into MSU - I think it's actually more expensive than Wayne for out-of-staters
 
OH! Wait...

Ask some very specific questions about residency rules. If you are married to a person employed in Michigan that may make you a resident. He might have to be working for a year first, I don't know. I have a friend who moved here from out of state with her boyfriend for med school, paid out of state tuition for a year (while her boyfriend worked), got married and now pays in-state tuition. So worst case scenario you pay out-of-state tuition for one year, your boyfriend establishes MI residency, you marry him and ta-da you're a Michigan resident.

Sorry I didn't think of this before the last post...
 
MSU2012 said:
OH! Wait...

Ask some very specific questions about residency rules. If you are married to a person employed in Michigan that may make you a resident. He might have to be working for a year first, I don't know. I have a friend who moved here from out of state with her boyfriend for med school, paid out of state tuition for a year (while her boyfriend worked), got married and now pays in-state tuition. So worst case scenario you pay out-of-state tuition for one year, your boyfriend establishes MI residency, you marry him and ta-da you're a Michigan resident.

Sorry I didn't think of this before the last post...
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If that's the case, there may be a way to work this out. He has been working in Michigan for over a year now.
 
I really appreciate all of the responses I have received to this. :) I am going to hold out hope until the bitter end. I will let you all know what Dr. Norman says.
 
sylphina said:
If that's the case, there may be a way to work this out. He has been working in Michigan for over a year now.
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Then he's a Michigan resident, and as soon as you get married you will be too. Call the financial aid office to be sure.
 
sylphina said:
I really appreciate all of the responses I have received to this. :) I am going to hold out hope until the bitter end. I will let you all know what Dr. Norman says.
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you never even brought up the possiblity for him to move with him?
 
Handy388 said:
you never even brought up the possiblity for him to move with him?
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Believe me, if it were realistically possible, we would do it. :/ Like the above poster said, though, the job market right now is absolutely horrible. He already came to TX and spent seven months trying to find a job with zero success...which is how we ended up in this situation in the first place. He had to take what he could get.
 
Handy388 said:
you never even brought up the possiblity for him to move with him?
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she seems pretty adamant against that. Though the whole insurance thing can easily be amended, espeically if she gets married soon. anyways good luck hopefully you can defer then you are set!!!:)
 
LizzyM said:
Are you still holding the Wayne offer? You could hold both it and the TX offer? TX really is a Republic! ;)
Click to expand...

No, I'm not, which may mean that I have no choice in this situation. But maybe a deferred acceptance might be treated differently than a "normal" one? I don't know.

I have considered the fact that by going to TX, I will be near my family (a plus) and would also probably save so much money that I could fly to see him all the time until we can figure out a way for him to move.
 
Wait, you already turned down the Wayne offer?

Sounds like you're going to Texas...
 
MSU2012 said:
Wait, you already turned down the Wayne offer?

Sounds like you're going to Texas...
Click to expand...

Yeah, or not going to medical school. :/ I didn't really have a choice because Wayne's financial package did not cover 20K.

EDIT: 20K/yr, that is.
 
love comes and goes all the time; acceptance to medical school doesn't. don't compromise your education and finances for someone else.

you've worked hard to go to medical school, and that's exactly what you should do. your marital status should not be a factor in your decision of which medical school to attend. at the end of the day, the MD will be yours, not your fiancee's.
 
tom1504 said:
love comes and goes all the time; acceptance to medical school doesn't. don't compromise your education and finances for someone else.

you've worked hard to go to medical school, and that's exactly what you should do. your marital status should not be a factor in your decision of which medical school to attend. at the end of the day, the MD will be yours, not your fiancee's.
Click to expand...

while this is true the problem is no one "in love" is going to listen to this advice. Everyone thinks their marriage is a rock and will never break, espeically coming into a difficult field like this. Reality only sets in once its too late. Sadly you already turned down wayne state so there doesnt seem to be much of a decision. Tx or nothing. Also you did bring up a good point with the money you saved in tx you could not only fly to see him alot, but maybe save enough so that he can move back near you if hes able to find another job in your area. He wouldnt be the first person to break a contract..
 
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