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Thought it about time we have a psychology joke thread. Anybody got a good psychology related joke?
A psychotherapist was having a roaring business since he started from scratch. So much so that he could now afford to have a proper shop banner advertising his wares. So he told a kid to paint the sign board for him & put it above his shop entrance.
But, instead of his business building up, it began to slacken. He had especially noticed the ladies shying away from his shop after reading the sign board. So he decided to check it out himself. Then he understood why.
The boy found a small wooden board so he had split the word into 3 words:
Psycho
the
rapist.
"I am 99.7% confident that I fall within three standard deviations from the mean"
I have a, "Psychologists like to do it on the couch" t-shirt. Classsy....I know!
-t
A Joke...
Q: How many narcissists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One to hold the lightbulb still, while the world revolves around him.
I heard that one before, but it was "how many Harvard students . . ."
This one helped get me through the all-nighters filling out grad apps in triplicate!
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." (Source unknown)
A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.
He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better.
The psychiatrist asked a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face.
Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, "Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers."
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "NO! I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology, and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?!"
Also, thanks to RayneeDeigh and Therapist4Chnge for posting how to do the multi-quote thing on the March Madness thread. I have been wondering how do to that!
There is a "Quote" button, and a "+" button next to the quote button. The "Quote" button is on the left, that is what you use to do a single quote.
The "+" lets you quote multiple quotes by using the +'s, and then whatever your last one is you use the "Quote"....and all of the quotes will appear in your reply box.
Also, thanks to RayneeDeigh and Therapist4Chnge for posting how to do the multi-quote thing on the March Madness thread. I have been wondering how do to that!
Oh sure, no thanks to me for engaging RayneeDeigh and, in turn, Therapist4Chnge, and even tkj, in my Socratic method (i.e., I asked the question how to multiple quote) in order to give birth to this SDN epiphany of double quoting and breaking up quotes, as well as starting the very thread (March Madness) in which this was revealed by the Raynster. "I am so far like the midwife that I cannot myself give birth to wisdom, and the common reproach is true, that, though I question others, I can myself bring nothing to light because there is no wisdom in me...Accept, then the ministration of a midwife's son who himself practices his mother's art, and do the best you can to answer the questions I ask. (150b to 151c, Plato's Theaetetus, trans. by F.M. Cornford). That sure took a while to find that quote, for some reason I was thinking the Gorgias, but otherwise the underlying meaning of what I was getting at might have been lost. Well, as A. N. Whitehead wrote, "All philosophy is a footnote on Plato" and thereby so is Psychology and thereby so is the Raynster's wisdom!
You're just one big fountain o' quotes huh?
. . .
Actually, at one interview I mentioned some obscure facts to a well known psychology professor (she was not interviewing me, but was just walking around eating and mingling) and she told me I should be on Jeopardy. I replied, well what about attending your school. She sad, "No, just Jeopardy. Alex Trebec can handle you but not me."
Yes, and now you are included!
But my "fountain o'quotes" does not sound as good as the chocolate fountain which was once discussed - I think it was at some Virginia school. Actually, at one interview I mentioned some obscure facts to a well known psychology professor (she was not interviewing me, but was just walking around eating and mingling) and she told me I should be on Jeopardy. I replied, well what about attending your school. She sad, "No, just Jeopardy. Alex Trebec can handle you but not me."
Oh sure, no thanks to me for engaging RayneeDeigh and, in turn, Therapist4Chnge, and even tkj, in my Socratic method (i.e., I asked the question how to multiple quote) in order to give birth to this SDN epiphany of double quoting and breaking up quotes, as well as starting the very thread (March Madness) in which this was revealed by the Raynster. "I am so far like the midwife that I cannot myself give birth to wisdom, and the common reproach is true, that, though I question others, I can myself bring nothing to light because there is no wisdom in me...Accept, then the ministration of a midwife's son who himself practices his mother's art, and do the best you can to answer the questions I ask. (150b to 151c, Plato's Theaetetus, trans. by F.M. Cornford). That sure took a while to find that quote, for some reason I was thinking the Gorgias, but otherwise the underlying meaning of what I was getting at might have been lost. Well, as A. N. Whitehead wrote, "All philosophy is a footnote on Plato" and thereby so is Psychology and thereby so is the Raynster's wisdom!
How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Wanna go ride bikes??!!
5) You realize you actually have no friends, they have all become just one big case load.