How Not to Write a Personal Statement

[gyngyn]

lol. If the applicant had great grades, MCAT and research, I don't think it would be accurate to call them "stupid." But sure. After all, it's just a fictitious applicant created for the sake of a hypothetical example.

Sadly, this does happen.

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[moop]

Unlike what the general audience believes in this thread, I think @GaiusOctavius brings up a good point, albeit misguidedly.

The current hypothetical guy does sound like he has an ego for blatantly ignoring instructions and feeling entitled to a med school spot, which are deplorable traits no med school should want. Reject, sure, blah blah.

BUT I think the more general question is very valid: how do we tell what is forced BS that is cooked for apps versus true writing, and does it matter? Obviously, true voices are easily spotted, but NO WAY IN HELL can all the fakers be spotted. So if an applicant has a one- or two-liner reason about why medicine and writes only that, would that be frowned upon? Is there a unilateral requirement for a PS to be of a certain length of elaboration, if the situation was simple enough to explain in 2 paragraphs? Would an applicant be rejected for writing something so short and simple just because it looks like he's being lazy by not wanting to write a lengthy PS which we know adcoms don't even consider all that important for most people anyway? Do adcoms just want people to follow instructions for the sake of following instructions, if the purpose of the PS can still be satisfied?

That's what I'd like to know.

 

[jamcat]

lol. If the applicant had great grades, MCAT and research, I don't think it would be accurate to call them "stupid." But sure. After all, it's just a fictitious applicant created for the sake of a hypothetical example.

"Stupid" refers to both intelligence and common sense. Doctors need both of these. Somebody can possess incredible intelligence and still be stupid.

 

[touchpause13]

"Please see experiences section for evidence of strong interpersonal skills. If accepted to your school I plan to continue doing research. Please see GPA and MCAT to see that I am capable and intelligent enough to excel in medical school. **I would like to practice medicine because it guarantees me an adequate salary. I have witnessed the pros and cons of a career in medicine through my extensive shadowing, and I have decided that this is the best path for me.** I look forward to interviewing with you."

This is hilariously bad.
No interview for you

 

[jamcat]

Moop, I think you bring up a good point about sussing out the disingenuousness of med school applicants, but I think it's the PS and other non-stat portions of the app that have the potential to aid adcoms in doing that. Your argument would support a *more* subjective application process, not less.

 

[touchpause13]

Not with that response to the prompt.
Writing the PS is inherently uncomfortable.
Avoiding the uncomfortable does not bode well for an applicant in this profession.

I'm getting the attitude that he thinks the rules don't apply to him. That's not a good trait in a physician

 

[GaiusOctavius]

I'm getting the attitude that he thinks the rules don't apply to him. That's not a good trait in a physician

Are you talking about me or the example? For the record, I actually had much to write about for the PS. So the importance placed on that section worked out well for me. But not everyone has some life changing experience that pushes them towards medicine (and not everyone should be expected to).

The general consensus on SDN among ADCOMs appears to be that many personal statements are insincere and specious. Yet these students get interviews provided they have solid stats... Thus, you have some kids who are liars or BS artists getting interviews. Given the choice, I'd prefer someone who has great stats who writes an honest and succinct PS than someone who writes some BS one. So it might be refreshing to get someone who doesn't play the game (undoubtedly there are some who treat it this way and you allude to "rules"). Obviously I'd prefer to read a great PS, but between the BS and the short uninspired one, I'd take the latter. And hey, it may be difficult to tell the two apart. It just seems that what really matters to ADCOMs are the stats and not the PS (a great PS can't compensate for sub-par performance) so I thought it may be interesting to get the perspectives of others...

 

[moop]

Moop, I think you bring up a good point about sussing out the disingenuousness of med school applicants, but I think it's the PS and other non-stat portions of the app that have the potential to aid adcoms in doing that. Your argument would support a *more* subjective application process, not less.

I do argue for a more subjective process. From what this site tells me, though, the PS is not a critical player in said process.

 

[touchpause13]

Are you talking about me or the example? For the record, I actually had much to write about for the PS. So the importance placed on that section worked out well for me. But not everyone has some life changing experience that pushes them towards medicine (and not everyone should be expected to).

The general consensus on SDN among ADCOMs appears to be that many personal statements are insincere and specious. Yet these students get interviews provided they have solid stats... Thus, you have some kids who are liars or BS artists getting interviews. Given the choice, I'd prefer someone who has great stats who writes an honest and succinct PS than someone who writes some BS one. So it might be refreshing to get someone who doesn't play the game (undoubtedly there are some who treat it this way and you allude to "rules"). Obviously I'd prefer to read a great PS, but between the BS and the short uninspired one, I'd take the latter. And hey, it may be difficult to tell the two apart. It just seems that what really matters to ADCOMs are the stats and not the PS (a great PS can't compensate for sub-par performance) so I thought it may be interesting to get the perspectives of others...

I mean whoever would write a PS like that. Idk if it's you or a "friend" or what

I think the PS is more of a tool to weed out than to really shine. I think that most are meh. I'd rather interview a meh than someone who wrote a PS like the one you described. And you can be honest and succinct without sounding like an entitled jack wad btw.

I wouldn't even say that stats are the most important thing because you have to think about how many people are applying with stats that prove they can handle medical school, it's a lot. a lot a lot. You gotta bring something else to the table. One does not "earn" a medical school acceptance by doing well in undergrad and the MCAT.

 

[NickNaylor]

Are you talking about me or the example? For the record, I actually had much to write about for the PS. So the importance placed on that section worked out well for me. But not everyone has some life changing experience that pushes them towards medicine (and not everyone should be expected to).

The general consensus on SDN among ADCOMs appears to be that many personal statements are insincere and specious. Yet these students get interviews provided they have solid stats... Thus, you have some kids who are liars or BS artists getting interviews. Given the choice, I'd prefer someone who has great stats who writes an honest and succinct PS than someone who writes some BS one. So it might be refreshing to get someone who doesn't play the game (undoubtedly there are some who treat it this way and you allude to "rules"). Obviously I'd prefer to read a great PS, but between the BS and the short uninspired one, I'd take the latter. And hey, it may be difficult to tell the two apart. It just seems that what really matters to ADCOMs are the stats and not the PS (a great PS can't compensate for sub-par performance) so I thought it may be interesting to get the perspectives of others...

Most PSs are extremely bland and follow a pretty predictable formula and structure. When I have to review PSs for admissions committee meetings, I usually let out a sigh of desperation after finishing the first sentence and continue on, grudging or cringing every minute. This is just the reality. Even if they're genuine - and I'm sure that the overwhelming majority of them are - most people have similar reasons for wanting to become a physician, and most people have had the same pool of experiences to support those reasons. The idea that you can write a great PS that is truly exceptional and noteworthy is largely a myth and limited to a very small minority of applicants. Even people that think they've written fantastic PSs generally end up producing something bland and formulaic.

If someone has something truly compelling to talk about or has some interesting insights about their experience, a PS can absolutely be an asset to an application. The "problem" - if you can call it that - is that most people don't have those experiences.

 

[Promethean]

Given the choice, I'd prefer someone who has great stats who writes an honest and succinct PS than someone who writes some BS one.

There is honest and succinct and then there is abrasive and dismissively abbreviated.

It's text, man. Marks on a page. It conveys little of emotive intent unless you deliberately craft that into it.

I don't think you have to talk about dead grandmas or African AIDS babies or Hitler or your selfless ambition to work for free in a remote Alaskan town that only has a doctor for one week a month. I think you can even, possibly, admit that you are drawn to medicine for prestige and/or money, provided you can say that without coming off as a self-centered, parasitic narcissist.

But communication is about more than just the words chosen. The amount you write, the appearance of care and forethought and structured logic, these all communicate about you as surely as your nonverbal gestures do when you speak in person.

Your sample "honest and succinct" PS is brief to the point of rudeness, and tells too little for its degree of truth to be discerned. There may be a possible winning essay that is short and blunt, but that one isn't it.

 

[medic86]

As long as you also mention something about Hitler AND your Grandma you should be fine.

FTFY

 

[WildZoo]

FTFY

"Hitler's Unrequited Love: The Story of My Grandmother"

 

[velodork]

FTFY

The real winners will mention something about Hitler BEING their grandma. ;-)

 

[mimelim]

Unlike what the general audience believes in this thread, I think @GaiusOctavius brings up a good point, albeit misguidedly.

The current hypothetical guy does sound like he has an ego for blatantly ignoring instructions and feeling entitled to a med school spot, which are deplorable traits no med school should want. Reject, sure, blah blah.

BUT I think the more general question is very valid: how do we tell what is forced BS that is cooked for apps versus true writing, and does it matter? Obviously, true voices are easily spotted, but NO WAY IN HELL can all the fakers be spotted. So if an applicant has a one- or two-liner reason about why medicine and writes only that, would that be frowned upon? Is there a unilateral requirement for a PS to be of a certain length of elaboration, if the situation was simple enough to explain in 2 paragraphs? Would an applicant be rejected for writing something so short and simple just because it looks like he's being lazy by not wanting to write a lengthy PS which we know adcoms don't even consider all that important for most people anyway? Do adcoms just want people to follow instructions for the sake of following instructions, if the purpose of the PS can still be satisfied?

That's what I'd like to know.

You can't spot all the fakers, but the vast majority are very obvious. Most people aren't as clever as they think they are. They are also usually not as good writers as they think they are. Once you get to the interview stage even more will be filtered out, but yes, certainly not all. At the same time, the personal statement allows for people who do need a forum to talk directly to adcoms to do so. Personal rule, 10% helps, 10% hurts, 80% does nothing. There is a big difference between short and simple and cocky/arrogant. We had a faculty adcom who would say, "If you can't say it in 700 words, you don't know what you are talking about."

As an aside, even with proof reading/editing, you can tell who the decent writers are out there, or at least those that can be decent writers with help. By the same token, you can see how bad a lot of people really are.

 

[operaman]

Ok so because of this thread I dug out my AMCAS personal statement. Wow. It sounded much better at the time! Definitely sounds a little corny in places, but has some really great moments too. But then again, that's a pretty accurate description of me so in that respect it definitely conveys a sense of what I'm about. Still not going to win any Pulitzer prizes...

As a non-trad, I think the PS takes on an extra layer of importance because you have to explain both why you want to change careers and convince the adcom that you're ready to become a student at the bottom of the totem pole again. Even now on the residency interview trail, pretty much every single interviewer wants to know the same things.

I'm not sure there's any surefire way to discern the really good people from the duds and the crazies. If I knew of one, I'd be writing this post from my yacht.

 

[Mad Jack]

I am playing devils advocate to a certain extent (which I feel is a good thing for most conversations), but i'm also genuinely interested as to how admissions might view such a personal statement.



I believe that the student in our hypothetical example has "earned" the honor of going into medical school. He/she is remarkable by every criteria used to gauge an applicant, with the exception of having altruistic reasons for pursuing medicine or just saying that they do in the personal statement section.



The student did say why he/she wanted to be a doctor--mainly because of the financial stability. And the high gpa/mcat was only one aspect. If they were elected president of two clubs, they likely have strong interpersonal skills. An interview might give admissions a greater insight into this...

IMO, our hypothetical student may just be an unusually rare and honest applicant. I'm sure that many students who go into medicine have altruistic reasons for doing so, but I guarantee you that there are also many who went into medicine that don't have them. There are tons of students who chose medicine because it provided financial stability. So tell me who's the real automaton, the one who approaches the personal statement in a rare matter-of-fact tone and the skills to back it up or the one who writes a generic cookie-cutter heartfelt personal statement?

p.s. Personal statements aren't necessarily bad. I'm sure there are great stories out there and incredible motivations for pursuing medicine. But not everyone who applies has those. I've seen many adcoms complain about personal statements that seem cliche and uninspiring (e.g. I knew I wanted to be a doctor when I saw the compassionate care delivered to my grandpa...). If the student doesn't feel this way and this isn't truly the moment that inspired the kid to apply to med school, why should they fake it? In that situation, I have more respect for the applicant who checked all the boxes and had a no BS attitude on the PS than the one who checked all the boxes and lied.

There's plenty of reasons to go into medicine that involve neither altruism nor money. Going into it to have a decent job is a definite turn off for adcoms, as money being the only carrot on your stick does not bode well for your success or sanity as a medical student or resident.

For the record, I didn't write an altruism essay. I wrote one about how how much I hated the blatant shortcomings within modern medical practice that have been built into the system by insurance companies and hospital policies, and how much those dysfunctional aspects of the system made me feel powerless and angry as a caregiver. There are a lot of approaches to an essay that are both honest and do not involve being cliche.

 

[Mad Jack]

lol. If the applicant had great grades, MCAT and research, I don't think it would be accurate to call them "stupid." But sure. After all, it's just a fictitious applicant created for the sake of a hypothetical example.

You can have all the grades, MCAT, and research in the world, but still be sorely lacking in common sense, tact, and people skills. IQ isn't everything, which is the whole reason for the personal statement in the first place.

 

[Make Or Break]

The best personal statements start with the name: "Mbuto."

 

[deleted407021]

Soooo, mentioning any poop hotdog eating tendencies probably won't help?

 

[Spinach Dip]

"Hitler's Unrequited Love: The Story of My Grandmother"

I would pay money to read a personal statement which opened with that title.

 

[Promethean]

For the record, I didn't write an altruism essay. I wrote one about how how much I hated the blatant shortcomings within modern medical practice that have been built into the system by insurance companies and hospital policies, and how much those dysfunctional aspects of the system made me feel powerless and angry as a caregiver. There are a lot of approaches to an essay that are both honest and do not involve being cliche.

I thought I was the only one foolhardy enough to write an angry/critical essay, and yet still lucky enough to find a seat. I wrote 10 crap essays trying to avoid giving my real reasons for "why medicine" because I didn't think my real reason would play well.

Really, I got so angry at a particular doctor who was so inappropriate with a patient due to openly expressed biases that I decided the only possible answer was to do her job better than she did, to make even just one more caring and nonjudgmental provider for GLBT patients to see. I fully expected that any essay, written by a mere applicant, that so criticized a member of the profession would be seen as unredeemably arrogant. But ultimately, it was that interaction that turned me into a dream-seeking missile, unable to allow myself to be further distracted from my mission. The anger I felt at the way that one patient was treated has been enough to fuel every sacrifice of time, money, and resources that I've made so far, as well as the completion of two degrees and several certifications.

The previous paragraph contains essentially the entire message of my personal statement. I needed all the other words to tone it down, so that all that anger-driven motivation didn't come across with white heat.

 

[MPHOrtho13]

I was a student reader for admissions at a highly competitive university.

Years ago, a pre-med applicant with below average stats described themselves as dumb/uncool/unattractive (actual words used), and that their only interests were collecting bottle caps and seeking out revenge against their old high school bullies... They even described how great it felt to break a bully's nose! I voted to reject, but was overruled. The student was given an acceptance and a generous scholarship. So, who knows… Maybe the urinating woman may actually get a full-ride at another Ivy.

Some waitlist apps can get intense as well... In an undergrad application year, someone sent weekly “updates”… One week they sent a sweaty t-shirt with the school's logo that the applicant had worn playing sports that week. Other weeks, they sent dioramas, hand-made posters, etc. Admissions 'had' to keep all of this, so that applicant's file ended up taking up an entire shelf in the records room. The stench of that shirt was so bad that I took it home to wash it. Good times.

 

[touchpause13]

I was a student reader for admissions at a highly competitive university.

Years ago, a pre-med applicant with below average stats described themselves as dumb/uncool/unattractive (actual words used), and that their only interests were collecting bottle caps and seeking out revenge against their old high school bullies... They even described how great it felt to break a bully's nose! I voted to reject, but was overruled. The student was given an acceptance and a generous scholarship. So, who knows… Maybe the urinating woman may actually get a full-ride at another Ivy.

Some waitlist apps can get intense as well... In an undergrad application year, someone sent weekly “updates”… One week they sent a sweaty t-shirt with the school's logo that the applicant had worn playing sports that week. Other weeks, they sent dioramas, hand-made posters, etc. Admissions 'had' to keep all of this, so that applicant's file ended up taking up an entire shelf in the records room. The stench of that shirt was so bad that I took it home to wash it. Good times.

my face rn:

 

[Spinach Dip]

I was a student reader for admissions at a highly competitive university.

Years ago, a pre-med applicant with below average stats described themselves as dumb/uncool/unattractive (actual words used), and that their only interests were collecting bottle caps and seeking out revenge against their old high school bullies... They even described how great it felt to break a bully's nose! I voted to reject, but was overruled. The student was given an acceptance and a generous scholarship. So, who knows… Maybe the urinating woman may actually get a full-ride at another Ivy.

Some waitlist apps can get intense as well... In an undergrad application year, someone sent weekly “updates”… One week they sent a sweaty t-shirt with the school's logo that the applicant had worn playing sports that week. Other weeks, they sent dioramas, hand-made posters, etc. Admissions 'had' to keep all of this, so that applicant's file ended up taking up an entire shelf in the records room. The stench of that shirt was so bad that I took it home to wash it. Good times.

What? I don't even...

 

[Rogert]

Related: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/04/01/opinion/bruni-our-crazy-college-crossroads.html


(This is, of course, also referring to the undergrad admissions process, but still intriguing and a little disturbing)

"Hitler's Unrequited Love: The Story of My Grandmother"

This isn't you're house. What are you doing here.

 

[WildZoo]

This isn't you're house. What are you doing here.

Hush little noob, I go where I want

 

[MrLogan13]

I was a student reader for admissions at a highly competitive university.

Years ago, a pre-med applicant with below average stats described themselves as dumb/uncool/unattractive (actual words used), and that their only interests were collecting bottle caps and seeking out revenge against their old high school bullies... They even described how great it felt to break a bully's nose! I voted to reject, but was overruled. The student was given an acceptance and a generous scholarship. So, who knows… Maybe the urinating woman may actually get a full-ride at another Ivy.

Some waitlist apps can get intense as well... In an undergrad application year, someone sent weekly “updates”… One week they sent a sweaty t-shirt with the school's logo that the applicant had worn playing sports that week. Other weeks, they sent dioramas, hand-made posters, etc. Admissions 'had' to keep all of this, so that applicant's file ended up taking up an entire shelf in the records room. The stench of that shirt was so bad that I took it home to wash it. Good times.

WTF, over.

 

[WingedOx]

It is a hardship though!

yes, a small one.

 

[andybshaker]

My high school advisor told me that a student of his attempted this in many of his college applications. The guy had great grades, ACT scores, extracurriculars, and so forth--so he just wrote that he felt he had already demonstrated his capability and did not need to write an essay. Needless to say, he did not get in.

I will say that it feels a bit unfair that saying something about your relatives is immediately dismissed as cliche or unimaginative. I know many people who see their relatives suffer terrible diseases and are legitimately inspired by the physicians who care for them.

 

[gyngyn]

I will say that it feels a bit unfair that saying something about your relatives is immediately dismissed as cliche or unimaginative. I know many people who see their relatives suffer terrible diseases and are legitimately inspired by the physicians who care for them.

We do not dismiss them. We realize that the death of a grandparent is the introduction to medicine for many people in this age group. It is so common that we can not dismiss it even if we wish we could.

 

[senzen]

I find it unfortunate when people feel a need to lie about that stuff. For example, "my aunt having cancer is what inspired me to go into medicine…" -- it's completely disrespectful and tactless, but I guess people feel like they can get away with it since it may be hard to prove that stuff. There probably should be some sort of verification process within one's own school or something like that.

 

[Dr.Jekyll75]

Wow some people wrote about serious things on their essays. I wrote about Arnold Schwarzenegger inspiring me to lift and be a better persons . Lol got me in so must have worked.

 

[deleted380953]

I read a reply in a thread where someone knew a guy who's PS stated that he would be "The batman of physicians" and "his prescription pad would be his tool belt"

something along those lines, at least

 

[Rainbow Zebra]

My brother initially did a draft about "overcoming a challenge or obstacle: "My life has been awesome, I have absolutely nothing to complain about." Was truly sincere that his minor obstacles didn't warrant an essay, as compared to others (and probably burned out writing all the secondaries).

After getting a lot feedback that this was not the right response, reworked it around to sharing some of the more harrowing problems he witnessed in others, and how he helped them overcome their challenges. In the end, it was a pretty compelling essay, even though it really didn't answer the question. First world problems I know, but he reports that probably 1/2 of his incoming med school class had at least one parent who is a physician. What true obstacles did they have??

 

[Dr.Jekyll75]

I read a reply in a thread where someone knew a guy who's PS stated that he would be "The batman of physicians" and "his prescription pad would be his tool belt"

something along those lines, at least

Well Bruce Wayne's father was a doctor so points to that cat

 

[MPHOrtho13]

my face rn:

Hahaha that was my facial expression in at least 10% of my student interviews.

Between the TMI questions ('would hypothetically having intercourse with a large mammal be grounds for dismissal from your university?'), being offered sexual favors for an acceptance, having candidates answer cell phones mid-interview, the awkward responses (e.x., when I asked a candidate what their favorite book was, they burst out screaming, "[insert the name of one of the most accomplished authors of all time... who just so happened to be an alum of our school] has absolutely no literary merit!!!! NONE whatsoever!!!!! Oh... Wait... What was your question?"), having candidates show up drunk/high/hungover, etc. etc., etc... It was impossible to keep a straight face at times.

Idk if my experience was typical of all schools, or if was because our 'reach' school attracted very intense personalities, or something else. I only did interviews for a couple years (and I was a student interviewer... so my interviews were LOW pressure), so I can't even begin to imagine what a true admissions veteran has seen.

 

[Hospitalized]

Genghis Khan can be used in place of Hitler, just saying. Easy substitute that grants many of the same points.