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I want to join/start the Lovelorn Med Student club

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical Allopathic [ MD ]' started by Jaider, Feb 2, 2006.

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  1. Jaider

    Jaider Senior Member

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    I'm not really looking for advice, I just want to publically whine for a minute. And maybe there's a few of you who can relate and will want to join my whiney club.

    I used to lie awake at night worrying whether I'd be accepted to med school. Now I have been, and I'm thrilled beyond belief. It's what I've always wanted. But now I've taken to lying awake at night upset that I'll be going to med school for the 4 years because the love of my life lives 8,000 miles away. (I used to live abroad). I love him and miss him. +pity+

    I'm totally lame, I readily admit. We broke up awhile ago, but I'm a stubborn romantic who refuses to move on. But I'm not *completely* pathetic. In fairness to me, our break up was more of a "see you later" than a "goodbye" so even if we never get back together I'm still suffering with the knowledge that it's a possibility, however slight. And I'm upset because I'm tying myself down to this country by going to medical school. My lifestyle won't be fluid anymore so I can't globe trot and "see him later" very well. D*mnit. And he can't very well move here either, at least not in the next four years.

    He just wrote me an email requesting an update and I'm nervous to tell him I was accepted to med school because I don't want to close the door on our relationship. Waah wahh, boo hoo for me. +pity+

    I'll just return to my quiet self pity now and wait for someone to respond with a message like: "Oh shut up, you got into medical school. Just focus on that. The MD curriculum will force him out of your thoughts." :)
  2. Jaider

    Jaider Senior Member

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    Misery loves company. I'm lonely! Am I the only one?

    You lucky folks.
  3. Jaykms

    Jaykms Senior Member

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    Oh shut up, you got into medical school. Just focus on that. The MD curriculum will force him out of your thoughts. :)
  4. 75969

    75969 Guest

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    If I were you, I would tell him exactly how you feel (ie what you said here)... he deserves to know, and the 'update' on your acceptance.

    On the up side, it gets better, i promise--but it might get worse first :(

    G'luck! :)
  5. JSK44

    JSK44 Member

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    Aww Jaider, I totally know how you feel. And I'm sure there are others on here in the same situation. The day I got my acceptances was so bittersweet -- Of course I was ecstatic and happier than I've ever been in my life, but at the same time, when I told my BF (who lives here in CA) that I got into NYU, he tried to sound happy for me, but I could tell what he was thinking. So in a way I feel like I am tiptoe-ing around the issue, because it's a somewhat inevitable, but difficult future for us. If love made sense, there wouldn't be so many movies/songs/shows revolving around it. Hang in there! I'm a firm believer that if it was meant to be, it'll work out! :oops:
  6. nikibean

    nikibean Tip your guide.

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    Definitely be honest.
    I totally understand how you feel. Love is one of those intangible things.
    I'm in a weird situation- someone I was with for 4 years and have not been with for 1.5 years has come around - and I miss him and still love him greatly, and I always wanted to marry him (Joe)
    but in the between time,
    I fell really hard for someone I was with for a very short while(Tim)- but it was perfect. It was like someone turned on the light, and I felt like, "oh- so *this* is what love is." Then that guy's cheating almost-ex-wife (they were signing the papers while we were dating) decided that she wanted him back, and like a retard, he went back to her. There was a kid involved, but I keep kicking myself for investing so much. I didn't expect anything, but I can't give my heart at all now. A few mini-relationships and 2 15-day Grand Canyon trips later, I still cant get him off of my mind or my heart. He still emails me once in a while. He gave me the key to his house when we were together, and told me he had never felt so good and natural with a woman before, he told me he loved me- and I honestly believe he loved me (I've been around, and I am very, very jaded- just for background - I tend to not believe that crap). He just hadn't completely processed the hurt and pain his almost-ex caused him (she had been cheating for over a year, and had been living elsewhere for 8 months- they had been together 7 years).
    I keep fantasizing about matching in his city for residency and running into him.
    Talk about a messed-up situation. But I learned a lot. I learned how I *should* be treated, and I expect no less nowadays. And I will never, ever forget him. Tim, you rock for that.
    Ah well, life goes on.

    The big thing is that whatever will be, will be. It's true. Everything happens precisely for a reason, and maybe you don't see it now, but you will.
    Have some faith in your process. Trust your heart.
    And follow YOUR OWN PATH.
    Best of luck to you.
  7. anon-y-mouse

    anon-y-mouse Senior Member

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    wow. That's eerily familiar. I'm glad I'm not the only one in this situation. Cheer up, where there's a will, there's a way. I rationalized to myself that there would be no time for relationships in med school, since I'd just be a study machine...
  8. Jaider

    Jaider Senior Member

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    Thanks for sharing, guys. Welcome to the house of fun.

    Nikibean, I had a similar experience to yours before I met this last guy, and my "Tim" experience is what's made me into the mentally ill person I am today. :laugh: This new guy... I'll call him by his nickname: Tom Cruise... was supposed to be the one to help me undo all of the "Tim" damage. Tom Cruise was/is perfect. He had/has all the right credentials to make me all right again in the love department, and it was working. And then I got double-whammy reamed by fate and find myself in my present hell, 8,000 miles away from heaven. (Tom Cruise is an angel).

    P.S. I completely understand what you mean by fantasizing about matching into Tim's city. My "Tim" hurt me so badly psychologically that I figured the only way to make it better was to get back together and overwrite the bad with new good. Never happened. Satan ("Tim") is incapable of good. Admittedly, I still fantasize about him, but mostly just about kicking him in the balls. :laugh:

    Oh, and just to bring this conversation back around to the whole medical thing--- Tom Cruise's dad is a retired doctor. Tom at one time was going to take over the practice, but as it turns out, he's dumb. Dumb and beautiful, and a musician with a new distribution deal with MGM. I wanted to be the next Dr. Cruise, since Tom isn't going to be. Wouldn't that be perfect? Come on, Fate, that's perfect! Make it happen! :thumbup:
  9. red dot

    red dot burning, burning

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    1) how long ago is " a while?" if it's a year and then some, close the door
    2) it's ok to be a hopeless romantic -- just not literally hopeless or you'll ruin your life (the word "ruin!" echoes in the background)
    3) it's ok to close the door just don't double bolt it. "see you later" is a good idea. 4 years is long yet short -- see other people and try the other 30 flavors of ice cream :) then come back to strawberry or pistachio or whatever. you guys can always get back together again. my cousin and his college gf did that. he got married to her now. so they'll be buried together one day if they don't get divorced.
    4) "Oh shut up, you got into medical school. Just focus on that. The MD curriculum will force him out of your thoughts." pop open a bottle of champagne and run through the neighborhood naked or something...
  10. Jaider

    Jaider Senior Member

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    I know, I know. Your advice is rational and good. I just want to be a baby and hoard my pistachio because I don't want anyone else to taste it. And I'm not a 31 flavors kind of gal-- when I find a good flavor I stick with it and I seem to have found the only flavor that I like. I'm extremely picky. No pistachio? No icecream for me, then. I hear you, though. Hopeless is not good. I make myself miserable and I have no one else to blame.
  11. superkiwi

    superkiwi Member

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    oh hun, i have a similar situation... and we seem similar in temperament... i found my european guy while traveling too and now that i'm tied down to the US, it's a bit hard... he doesn't necessarily want to move to the US permanently but we're working on even possibly getting a working/student visa or something for at least a little bit.... it is hard and i sometimes wonder if there's any real Future for us... but we love each other now.... +pity+ :D
  12. Rafa

    Rafa headbutts like zidane

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    *Republican enters the thread*

    What's the matter? Plain ol' American boys ain't goodnuff for ya? Huh?

    *Republican leaves thread*

    :laugh:
  13. browniegirl86

    browniegirl86 I am the creMASTER

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    At least you HAVE someone to love.

    How's that for lonely? +pity+ +pity+

    Ok I'm done feeling sorry for myself. I did the long-distance relationship thing during undergrad and frankly, however lonely and sad my love life is now, I'd rather have a semester of loserhood than go through long-distance again. Especially because the relationship would be WAY harder to maintain in med school.

    Good luck with your situation. It seems hopeless, and I can totally empathize with you. It's terrible to know that the perfect person is out there for you and the only real thing keeping you from being together is location. It will get better though, one way or another. Sounds hokey, but my mantra during those really tough, hopeless times was "This too shall pass." :)
  14. red dot

    red dot burning, burning

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    was this your first boyfriend or first longterm relationship? an aeon ago i used to be a one-flavored-ice-cream-wanna-live-with-you-in-a-house-with-white-picket-fence-might-reconsider-med-school-for-you kinda girl myself. but that was an aeon ago. trust me. the other 30 flavors are more interesting. and i'll just bet that 5 of them are worthwhile! ;)
  15. JSK44

    JSK44 Member

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    P.S. I love that this thread is dominanted by girls. Yay for estrogen!
  16. Jaider

    Jaider Senior Member

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    :thumbup: I like you. Let us whine together in sweet harmony. :laugh:
  17. Jaider

    Jaider Senior Member

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    Yeah, not really. :laugh:
  18. Jaider

    Jaider Senior Member

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    Oooh, that's good! I love it!

    But my dear, I still think I'm more of a sad-b@stard because my love is unrequited. (Well, kind of). Oh, such sweet sorrow... :D

    Thanks for sharing, everyone. Though I continue to wallow, I'm loving this thread. :thumbup:
  19. Jaider

    Jaider Senior Member

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    Hey Joonie,

    Unfortunately, I can't really blame total inexperience. I'm on the older side and this wasn't even close to my longest or most serious relationship. It's like what nikibean said about "turning on the light." I thought I was in love before but those old relationships were nothing like this one. I'm not sure I can feel this same level of connection with anyone else. That scares me. I've had my eye out for new flavors, but keep coming to the same conclusion: ewww. Not tempting. To me, finding another pistachio-grade man would be as unlikely as winning the lottery twice.

    That said, I know I'm dramatic and that the world has not come to an end. I still have faith in a happy ending, even if it doesn't include Mr. Pistachio/ Tom Cruise. (Eww, eww, Ms. Melodrama doesn't like to even write that awful thought). I'm going to try to grow up some more and might eventually start accepting dates later on. I could justify this to the stubborn romantic part of me by claiming that dating others will help me mature and develop my skills in preparation for a future reunion with Mr. Pistachio. :D

    Oh, and just to clarify-- I wouldn't consider giving up medical school for Mr. Pistachio. At most I would transfer to a foreign med school, but I'd *seriously* hesitate to do even that. I want him to come to the land of opportunity for a few years instead.

    I broke down and told Mr. Pistachio how much I miss him and informed him about my acceptance last night, by the way. He is very proud and happy for me and jokes that we'll have to wait a few years before he can quiz me on all-things-medical, to give me time to learn my stuff. (The joke is that he never went to college himself). He also admitted: "In a way I am doing very well although this has been one of the hardest years I have ever had. I forget myself on a regular basis and only write songs in bursts... I think of you all the time. I think constantly of things that only you would find funny..."

    I'm happy with those comments. There's a little bit of affection in there. I mean, I'd prefer something along the lines of: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU! MARRY ME NOW!" But I'll take what I can get. :oops:
  20. superkiwi

    superkiwi Member

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    :laugh: yeah if only they had a cello "pity" icon, too!
  21. Jaider

    Jaider Senior Member

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    Baby, that's because men don't have hearts, thus they can't be broken. I think we learn that in MS-1 anatomy class. :D
  22. noonday

    noonday MS IV

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    wow. interesting thread. finally, a place to vent about the romantic impact of all of this. thanks! and if i had advice, i'd give it, but these sorts of things are my big failure it seems.

    i've said elsewhere already that the mere process of prepping to apply for school (classes for mcats, severe reduction in free time, etc.) and the impending surity that if i got in i'd move (and he, although unemployed and without a college degree, ahem, yes, at 30, ahem, would not leave here with me) caused the end of a multi-year relationship that seemed to have good promise for the long haul. at least without disruption of the status quo, it seems.

    so that all went down a little less than a year ago, and i've been casually dating to pass the time and get the "needs" met, but now i've ended up in something recently (last 2 months) that's better than i was looking for. in fact, better than i really wanted. i wanted no ties. and this is becoming a tie. and here's the big problem. he's a doctor. and he doesn't know i'm in a career transition. he's a relatively embittered practicioner, says nothing but bad things about the work. i've never lied outright, but i've never been all-revealing. and now i have to either come clean or actually lie, which i never like to do, because my first and so far only interview is cross country on a day that we have tickets to see a performance, so i have to cancel. i can say i have to go out of town for work, which happens, but i don't like lieing. and having to out with it could mean losing this thing for the next 6 months, thus putting me back into lonely. i just want to get through the next half year with someone to take to functions and get a little sumthin' from. but then, i have no real idea what he's thinking.

    i guess it's time to have "the talk."

    ugh.
  23. RxnMan

    RxnMan Who, me? A doctor? Moderator Emeritus

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    It's not that we don't have hearts, we just don't have enough blood to think and...you know...at the same time.

    Seriously, though, look at your situation, Jaider. You've already stated that med school (which you will not quit) will make it impossible for you to see him. He doesn't have the ability (or care enough) to come here. Thus, while you feel like you have a great connection/love/whatever with this guy, he's inaccessible. Whatever he professes, love is about making a rational decision to support someone and be a constructive part of their life. And making that decision every day. You can't build a relationship on something that's not there.

    So you had a powerful attraction to this man. With the 120 million men here in this country, one of them will do the same again. The bonus is that he'll be here. Now that your european guy has opened you up to the experience, share it with others - you may be surprised.
  24. red dot

    red dot burning, burning

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    word. and as for the reconsidering med school thing, that only lasted for one split second of stupidity. as i said it happened an aeon ago, and when i mentioned this to a few girl friends back then, everyone gasped something along the lines of "you're thinking what?! after you've worked so hard? for him? where is your feminism? hell naw...." i follow my own path no matter what.
  25. pagemmapants

    pagemmapants Unknown Member

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    I live in LA. My boyfriend (on and off for 5 years, known him for 7, is saving up for a ring as we speak which is frightening and scary) lives in Montreal. I might be going to med school in Tx, SD, NC, or CT. He's currently an apprentice chef and may very well be moving to France next year.


    *siiiiiiiiiiiigh* pass the brownies.
  26. crazy_cavalier

    crazy_cavalier T3-Weighted

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    Reading this thread rekindles the realization I must come to about my own relationship and how that will pan out. Three years, and my first love! I don't know what to do.

    Damn this human brain and its emotional folly. I wish I were a robot. Even if that means small children and cute animals would never make me smile again. Maybe it's worth it in the end.

    yyyyyrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnuuuuhhhhhhh!!!
  27. kirexhana

    kirexhana Make Me A Sandwich.

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    mmm, do you have to use Tom Cruise as your example of the perfect guy? The dude is a nutcase. scientology, psychiatry isn't real, no such thing as a chemical imbalance, all of life's problems can be solved with vitamins and exercise... really....THAT Tom Cruise? :confused: not attractive at all.
  28. Jaider

    Jaider Senior Member

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    :laugh:

    I know, the real Tom Cruise turned into a dork and a half. THE Tom Cruise isn't my example of the perfect guy.

    My perfect guy (okay, his real name is Andrew) totally looks like Mission Impossible Tom Cruise. (same nose/eyes, better smile, not short and squatty though, not a freak). The night we met we were walking streetside with our arms around each other and a stranger drove past and yelled out the window: "WooHOOOOOOOO--- you're going home with Tom Cruise!!!" It was hilarious. And I've called him Tom Cruise ever since.

    On a whiney note, the fact that the real Tom Cruise has gotten so much media attention this past year has really made things worse for me. It's bad enough watching t.v. and finding at least one Tom Cruise movie on at any one time, but now he's constantly on every entertainment reporting program too? Yikes. Nice, constant reminder of my boy. :laugh:
  29. Dakota

    Dakota Senior Member

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    Fortunately (didn't seem so at the time) my ultra-long-term-when-are-we-getting-married relationship ended this past summer. It was a natural death (not hastened by med school stuff, it was just time). I'm thankful that it happened when it did so now I'm free to chose where I want to go. Doesn't help that I have found myself in another relationship (wasn't planning on that happening, oh well).

    I guess my only point is that there are pretty amazing people in lots of different places and I look forward to meeting a few when I get to med school.
  30. noonday

    noonday MS IV

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    you can have the regular ones, but the "special" ones cost $2.

    ;)
  31. GA_MDhopeful

    GA_MDhopeful Senior Member

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    i'll take twelve. what do you prefer: visa/paypal/debit card/sexual favors?:laugh:
  32. Em1

    Em1 Senior Member

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    In my experience, the easiest way to get over someone is to convince yourself that it's really over FOREVER. Yes, I suppose it's possible that the two of you will get back together, but think of it this way: you have a choice... you can choose to know that you're meant to be together and it's only a matter of time till he comes running back to you, but be miserable until that happens (if it ever happens) OR you can choose to convince yourself that it's over forever and that there's someone else out there who is way better for you.

    Option 2 seems daunting, but it makes things easier eventually, and it will put you on the road to moving on with your love life much faster, I PROMISE.
  33. xTiggerx

    xTiggerx Member

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    i want to join this club too. ive been reading all the posts since the thread started and its just so ironic because i just recently had this talk with my bf of 4 years about long distance and he dropped the bomb saying he didn't want to try it cuz its just not gonna work and he just wanted to "break up but not completely". i guess what he wanted was me to be there for him when he needed me for emotional support but just not obligated to be a bf to me. so i was appalled and didn't want to go through with it and honestly, id rather break up clean and simple. so it was done. last night, we called it quits. what a crappy week. life is unfair! i spent all week working on his v-day gift too... ugh... i hate guys and i hate relationships. :(
  34. inflamesdjk02

    inflamesdjk02 Senior Member

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    when life gives you lemons, find someone else whose life has given them vodka, and have a party! :D
  35. don juan

    don juan Member

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    Now is the love really that powerful and irreplaceable, or has him being away made you create in your mind something more than is there.
  36. JSK44

    JSK44 Member

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    Soo.. after a few weeks of dodging the subject (on both our parts), my bf and I had a little preview of The Talk. (We've been together 3 years now).

    All through applications and MCATs and everything I've said I'd stay in CA if I got in anywhere here, but now I'm in... a pickle. As of right now, my choices are between Loma Linda and NYU. NYU, is NYU. I loved it, and it was my first choice outside of CA. Loma Linda is.. close to home. (Great school, of course, and I really did like it, but... I loved NYU! Except for it being so very far away!).

    Everyone is telling me I have to go to NYU. And I want to. I'm realizing more and more that I want to live in the city, get a taste of the East Coast, open my eyes to the rest of the world outside of Socal...

    Anyway, with Vday around the corner, we started talking about plans, which turned into an I-don't-want-to-waste-my-time/energy/etc-if-you're-just-going-to-leave-me. He also brought up that before I said I just wanted to be a doctor, through any means, and now I've changed to chasing prestige and the like. I know he's upset because he chose a California law school for me last year (though I didn't know it at the time), and he feels as though I'm not willing to do the same. (But it's different!!!!!!)

    So I was just curious how everyone else was doing it. How do we live these next few months? Break up now because the future is just inevitable? Stay together now, knowing we'll break up right before I leave? Live like I'm never leaving? :(

    Time to open up a big gallon of ice cream.
  37. lyn2006

    lyn2006 Senior Member

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    I don't know if you can turn down NYU then... I don't think I could if those were my choices. Is transferring law schools possible at all? I'm sure there are plenty of them in/near NYC.

    As for the staying together... if it were me and I knew we'd break up, I'd probably just get it over with since that's what I'd be thinking about whenever we were together anyway. It might start arguments and make the relationship stressful during your last months together.
  38. Law2Doc

    Law2Doc 5K+ Member Moderator Emeritus

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    Law school transfers do sometimes occur. However, unlike med schools, which are all basically good, not so with law schools, and thus where you go to law school can majorly affect your career potential. Unlike medicine, which is facing a shortage, law is facing a glut. It's not like he'd want to transfer to just "any" law school in NYC -- he'd need to find one of similar caliber or likely be damaging his future potential.
  39. JSK44

    JSK44 Member

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    Thanks for the advice guys :) We'll see how it goes!
  40. Daichi Katase

    Daichi Katase Senior Member

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    My gf and I have been broken up for about 5 months now. Today i got a mysterious email..."I miss you like crazy!"

    2 days before Valentines day. Hmmm. My reply.."Me too!"

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