Very lost and thinking of giving up

[molarfarmers15]

Hello all,

After reading these forums for awhile, I have decided to make an account. I need help. Maybe some of you have experienced what I am currently going through and was hoping maybe you guys can help me handle it better. It is kinda long so please bear with me. I would greatly appreciate your time. I'm not sure if it makes a difference but I am a first generation asian american student with somewhat traditional asian parents.

After graduating last spring, my overall gpa sat at a pitiful 3.0ish and a science gpa of a 2.8ish and was rejected. After months of careful research, talking to dentists, deans, and dental students, I had decided to enroll at a local small university to take upper division biology classes. It was very affordable and the perfect option for me. I knew I had to fix the damage to my gpa by showing a strong upward trend in my classes. I wanted to prove to adcoms that I am a changed person. I had a strong and determined mindset going into last fall. I took anatomy, physiology, micro, and developmental biology all with labs last fall. The result? All A's. A beautiful 4.0. It was the first time I had seen all A's since high school and I was proud of myself. However, it's not enough. I needed to prove myself even more. I enrolled again this semester taking cell biology, molecular biology, and a toxicology class all with labs. I was determined to get all A's again. Then. last night happened. Please let me explain.

My parents are one of the hardest working people I know. They were never "asian" strict but they always expected that I try my best at whatever I do. It's all they ask for. They have always supported me and I am lucky to have them. However, they finally opened up today.
They second guessed that what I was doing (post bac) was a waste of time and that they went on and on about how life is unfair (which is true but do we give up? no.) They told me that I am about to be 23 and that I have done nothing since graduation except for waste time taking "bullsh*t classes". I told them calmly that it was what the deans and adcoms told me was best and they were adamant that "you are nothing to them. of course they will say that." This is literally what they said "You didnt research hard enough. WE think you should be getting another degree to help. You need to get like a masters in nutrition or buisness. That way you can look better." They went on and on about how my dad interviews people for jobs and he always picks the ones who has multiple degrees because its better and blah blah blah.
Again, I told them that those masters wont help and I had plenty of upper division biology classes to take (they still dont understand this.). They strongly believed that what they had to say trumps whatever adcoms tell me. This went on for hours and even today...they finally said that they dont think I would make it because the acceptance rate is "6%" and my gpa was "dogsh*t". They said that everything I have done has been the biggest waste of my time. They called me selfish because I didn't think about the family...they even told me to switch to medical school if I dont get into dental school (you can imagine how that went down). I just left the conversation because I just couldnt deal with them anymore.

I also want to point out that my parents are not paying for my post bac classes. I took out loans, got some grants, and even got a small academic scholarship for my 4.0. I told them not to pay for it because I didnt want to burden the family since they paid for my undergrad degree. After thinking about it, am I selfish? My ultimate goal is to help the underserved. I want to help people smile despite their personal difficulties. I care about people. I truly do. Granted, I have made mistakes with my GPA but I am doing my very best to fix it. I still need to retake my DAT this summer also. I will always love and respect my parents for all they did for me which is why I have always considered their opinions in life changing events. I have ALWAYS called them my "indestructible support system" because they have always supported and cheered me on. But today, I feel like they shot down my dreams and I have no one to ask for help. From a strong and focused mindset, I am reduced to nothing but feelings of disappointment, loneliness, and disbelief. My own parents. Dentistry has been a passion of mines since I was 3 years old. In addition to helping the underserved all patients I come across, I want to def. help my parents out since they had done so much for me. I thought maybe the 4.0 semester was a slight ray of light. A slight chance. Hope. But maybe I should just give up? That is what they are telling me and I just feel so conflicted right now because I had to "think about the family".

Again, I just ask you guys to please give me advice on how to handle this the RIGHT way if any of you guys went through something like this. Thank you so much.

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[Faux]

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/traditional-asian-parents-please-i-need-some-advice.1115864/

Kinda freaky how similar. Any who, that should be of help.

 

[SXCoronado]

.

 

[molarfarmers15]

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/traditional-asian-parents-please-i-need-some-advice.1115864/

Kinda freaky how similar. Any who, that should be of help.

Very similiar. Except I wished I got an 18 on the DAT my first try...

 

[molarfarmers15]

You got all As. Keep doin' you bruh, you either bend or you break

You think? Did your parents talk to you about this too?

 

[Myce]

Definitely keep going--you've come so far already, and did an awesome job in those upper-level science courses last semester. Just study hard and do well on the DAT retake and you should have a shot at some schools. Take a look at the DAT forum and read some of the breakdowns. The people on this forum are really good at explaining about how they studied and what materials they used. Hopefully you'll get some tips on how to improve.

Parents will always say what yours said to you, but ultimately it's your life and what you want to do with it. It's hard for Asian parents to understand, but eventually they'll come around to it when you get into dental school and get the DDS/DMD after your name. Keep that passion alive and think about all the underserved communities you'll work with when you become a dentist. Good luck!

 

[Faux]

Very similiar. Except I wished I got an 18 on the DAT my first try...

Get back on that saddle then. You got A's in those courses, you're very capable. What sources are you using for each subject?

 

[DentalFox]

Hello all,

After reading these forums for awhile, I have decided to make an account. I need help. Maybe some of you have experienced what I am currently going through and was hoping maybe you guys can help me handle it better. It is kinda long so please bear with me. I would greatly appreciate your time. I'm not sure if it makes a difference but I am a first generation asian american student with somewhat traditional asian parents.

After graduating last spring, my overall gpa sat at a pitiful 3.0ish and a science gpa of a 2.8ish and was rejected. After months of careful research, talking to dentists, deans, and dental students, I had decided to enroll at a local small university to take upper division biology classes. It was very affordable and the perfect option for me. I knew I had to fix the damage to my gpa by showing a strong upward trend in my classes. I wanted to prove to adcoms that I am a changed person. I had a strong and determined mindset going into last fall. I took anatomy, physiology, micro, and developmental biology all with labs last fall. The result? All A's. A beautiful 4.0. It was the first time I had seen all A's since high school and I was proud of myself. However, it's not enough. I needed to prove myself even more. I enrolled again this semester taking cell biology, molecular biology, and a toxicology class all with labs. I was determined to get all A's again. Then. last night happened. Please let me explain.

My parents are one of the hardest working people I know. They were never "asian" strict but they always expected that I try my best at whatever I do. It's all they ask for. They have always supported me and I am lucky to have them. However, they finally opened up today.
They second guessed that what I was doing (post bac) was a waste of time and that they went on and on about how life is unfair (which is true but do we give up? no.) They told me that I am about to be 23 and that I have done nothing since graduation except for waste time taking "bullsh*t classes". I told them calmly that it was what the deans and adcoms told me was best and they were adamant that "you are nothing to them. of course they will say that." This is literally what they said "You didnt research hard enough. WE think you should be getting another degree to help. You need to get like a masters in nutrition or buisness. That way you can look better." They went on and on about how my dad interviews people for jobs and he always picks the ones who has multiple degrees because its better and blah blah blah.
Again, I told them that those masters wont help and I had plenty of upper division biology classes to take (they still dont understand this.). They strongly believed that what they had to say trumps whatever adcoms tell me. This went on for hours and even today...they finally said that they dont think I would make it because the acceptance rate is "6%" and my gpa was "dogsh*t". They said that everything I have done has been the biggest waste of my time. They called me selfish because I didn't think about the family...they even told me to switch to medical school if I dont get into dental school (you can imagine how that went down). I just left the conversation because I just couldnt deal with them anymore.

I also want to point out that my parents are not paying for my post bac classes. I took out loans, got some grants, and even got a small academic scholarship for my 4.0. I told them not to pay for it because I didnt want to burden the family since they paid for my undergrad degree. After thinking about it, am I selfish? My ultimate goal is to help the underserved. I want to help people smile despite their personal difficulties. I care about people. I truly do. Granted, I have made mistakes with my GPA but I am doing my very best to fix it. I still need to retake my DAT this summer also. I will always love and respect my parents for all they did for me which is why I have always considered their opinions in life changing events. I have ALWAYS called them my "indestructible support system" because they have always supported and cheered me on. But today, I feel like they shot down my dreams and I have no one to ask for help. From a strong and focused mindset, I am reduced to nothing but feelings of disappointment, loneliness, and disbelief. My own parents. Dentistry has been a passion of mines since I was 3 years old. In addition to helping the underserved all patients I come across, I want to def. help my parents out since they had done so much for me. I thought maybe the 4.0 semester was a slight ray of light. A slight chance. Hope. But maybe I should just give up? That is what they are telling me and I just feel so conflicted right now because I had to "think about the family".

Again, I just ask you guys to please give me advice on how to handle this the RIGHT way if any of you guys went through something like this. Thank you so much.

I think that you should leave your house. Your parents should be a bit more supportive than that. I do believe that you are doing the right thing, but a Masters program will open the door. I had a 2.8 sGPA and a 3.3 oGPA and was fortunate to get 7 interview offers this cycle. I do not believe that this would have been possible without doing my Masters program. Your parents are frustrated but, 23 is still young. There are people applying in their 30s and 40s! I would update the deans that you have talked to and just that you accomplished a 4.0 this semester and tell them what classes you are currently taking. I would then ask them if they would want you to take any other courses. Keep in touch with if you can as well. Every situation is different, but hard work will always pay off.

 

[SXCoronado]

.

 

[arkenstone]

I think you're fine, but regarding your expectations of your parents...

Your mistake was in trying to convince them, because objectively speaking they have your past performance to substantiate their perspective. You're an adult now and it's no longer their job to withhold objective assessments. It's also no longer your job to let their opinion affect your mental health. The argument was predictable, express understanding for their opinion (because you sowed those seeds), don't hold it against them, and continue down your current path if you think it's right for you.

Just keep working hard. And to motivate you... remember that SDN is a self-selecting group. 95% of the people who post here still have some intact aspirations, and their posts reflect that. You also see also see a lot of retrospective turnaround posts, which are equally motivating. Just remember that most people, after getting rejected, disappear quietly---or fail again repeatedly then disappear quietly. Don't forget that silent majority, and don't end up there.

(As an aside, though, it's no inconvenience to you to come up with a hypothetical Plan B for leveraging your current courses, if for no reason other than assuage them next time you talk about this subject.)

 

[molarfarmers15]

Definitely keep going--you've come so far already, and did an awesome job in those upper-level science courses last semester. Just study hard and do well on the DAT retake and you should have a shot at some schools. Take a look at the DAT forum and read some of the breakdowns. The people on this forum are really good at explaining about how they studied and what materials they used. Hopefully you'll get some tips on how to improve.

Parents will always say what yours said to you, but ultimately it's your life and what you want to do with it. It's hard for Asian parents to understand, but eventually they'll come around to it when you get into dental school and get the DDS/DMD after your name. Keep that passion alive and think about all the underserved communities you'll work with when you become a dentist. Good luck!

Thank you very much for your positive comment. I talked to them calmly and gave them a logical answer for all of their questions but at this point, whatever they choose to believe is fine with me.

 

[molarfarmers15]

Get back on that saddle then. You got A's in those courses, you're very capable. What sources are you using for each subject?

What do you mean sources?

 

[molarfarmers15]

I think that you should leave your house. Your parents should be a bit more supportive than that. I do believe that you are doing the right thing, but a Masters program will open the door. I had a 2.8 sGPA and a 3.3 oGPA and was fortunate to get 7 interview offers this cycle. I do not believe that this would have been possible without doing my Masters program. Your parents are frustrated but, 23 is still young. There are people applying in their 30s and 40s! I would update the deans that you have talked to and just that you accomplished a 4.0 this semester and tell them what classes you are currently taking. I would then ask them if they would want you to take any other courses. Keep in touch with if you can as well. Every situation is different, but hard work will always pay off.

I am considering a masters. a non thesis one most likely for next spring. Also, I don't think I can leave the house. My brother and sister still need me since I have been through it all so far. But yes, thank you for your comment.

 

[molarfarmers15]

Once you know what you want it doesn't really matter what anyone else says

I've never gotten a 4.0 so that's impressive, keep doing awesome

The thing that's hard for me to get past is they made me feel as if I don't give a damn about the family which in reality is not true. I think of many ways of which I can help them but the best thing is dentistry. I have come so far and I just dont know what to do without it. Thank you for the kind and encouraging words.

 

[molarfarmers15]

I think you're fine, but regarding your expectations of your parents...

Your mistake was in trying to convince them, because objectively speaking they have your past performance to substantiate their perspective. You're an adult now and it's no longer their job to withhold objective assessments. It's also no longer your job to let their opinion affect your mental health. The argument was predictable, express understanding for their opinion (because you sowed those seeds), don't hold it against them, and continue down your current path if you think it's right for you.

Just keep working hard. And to motivate you... remember that SDN is a self-selecting group. 95% of the people who post here still have some intact aspirations, and their posts reflect that. You also see also see a lot of retrospective turnaround posts, which are equally motivating. Just remember that most people, after getting rejected, disappear quietly---or fail again repeatedly then disappear quietly. Don't forget that silent majority, and don't end up there.

(As an aside, though, it's no inconvenience to you to come up with a hypothetical Plan B for leveraging your current courses, if for no reason other than assuage them next time you talk about this subject.)

Yes, you are right. Thank you arkenstone.

 

[Hannah Banana]

The thing that's hard for me to get past is they made me feel as if I don't give a damn about the family which in reality is not true. I think of many ways of which I can help them but the best thing is dentistry. I have come so far and I just dont know what to do without it. Thank you for the kind and encouraging words.

I understand what it's like to have Asian parents, friend. Do what you think is right. It's your life. If you need support, come on here! We got your back!

 

[molarfarmers15]

I understand what it's like to have Asian parents, friend. Do what you think is right. It's your life. If you need support, come on here! We got your back!

It is not typical of me to vent stuff like this but it is a great and warming feeling knowing that there are supportive people out there that understand. Especially predental students. Thank you Hannah.

 

[Faux]

What do you mean sources?

You took the DAT and didn't do so hot. what resources did you use for each subject?

 

[DentalGirl5]

Molarfarmers (awesome name, btw),
I come from a very strict Russian family with very high expectations, and I've literally been shot down my entire life. That is no exaggeration. While I've been supported at some points, I've mostly been made to feel less than what any child should feel like growing up. My mother was never very nurturing and even when I'd get good grades, she'd still expect "more". I was a straight A student in high school, so I expected that my "smarts" would get me through college. Well, the 3.05 GPA my first semester was a huge wake up call. Of course, my parents told me that I'm wasting their money and that I don't take things very seriously. Which in all honestly, I wasn't taking things too seriously and I was wasting their money. Let's be real. I'm not here to sugar-coat, but instead to tell you that anything is possible if you set your mind to it while at the same time accepting the past for what it is. I completely disregarded their statement, because although what they were saying was mostly true, I knew that deep down in my heart, I cared for people just like you do and I really wanted to become a dentist and help others. I knew that if I wanted to do this, that I'd really have to work hard. And I did. I got straight 3.8's all of the semesters since then, and I've truly shut any negative comments up. My parents really don't have anything to say anymore. But the difference between your parents and mine is that yours seem to be a bit more nurturing and caring than mine are, which makes it obvious that as long as you keep trying as hard as you are and actually learn to accept the truth (that maybe you didn't care 100% about your grades at the time, just like I didn't), it'll help you strive to be the person you've always wanted to be and known you could be. And it'll help your parents see that side of you that you've always wanted them to see. It seems like they deserve to see that side. I mean, look at you now! You've proven to yourself that you're so strong and smart academically. You persevere, and that's all you can do at this point. Keep your head up, and just think about the future. When you can finally show your parents what a great decision you made by taking more classes and how smart it was of you to stick to your gut and do what you thought was right. You're ultimately the one who decides your fate, and you've clearly shown that your fate is looking better and better every day If it matters at all, I'm proud of you! Keep doin' you.

 

[molarfarmers15]

You took the DAT and didn't do so hot. what resources did you use for each subject?

I have the Kaplan blue book. I forgot what edition. Also, I have cliffs.

 

[molarfarmers15]

Molarfarmers (awesome name, btw),
I come from a very strict Russian family with very high expectations, and I've literally been shot down my entire life. That is no exaggeration. While I've been supported at some points, I've mostly been made to feel less than what any child should feel like growing up. My mother was never very nurturing and even when I'd get good grades, she'd still expect "more". I was a straight A student in high school, so I expected that my "smarts" would get me through college. Well, the 3.05 GPA my first semester was a huge wake up call. Of course, my parents told me that I'm wasting their money and that I don't take things very seriously. Which in all honestly, I wasn't taking things too seriously and I was wasting their money. Let's be real. I'm not here to sugar-coat, but instead to tell you that anything is possible if you set your mind to it while at the same time accepting the past for what it is. I completely disregarded their statement, because although what they were saying was mostly true, I knew that deep down in my heart, I cared for people just like you do and I really wanted to become a dentist and help others. I knew that if I wanted to do this, that I'd really have to work hard. And I did. I got straight 3.8's all of the semesters since then, and I've truly shut any negative comments up. My parents really don't have anything to say anymore. But the difference between your parents and mine is that yours seem to be a bit more nurturing and caring than mine are, which makes it obvious that as long as you keep trying as hard as you are and actually learn to accept the truth (that maybe you didn't care 100% about your grades at the time, just like I didn't), it'll help you strive to be the person you've always wanted to be and known you could be. And it'll help your parents see that side of you that you've always wanted them to see. It seems like they deserve to see that side. I mean, look at you now! You've proven to yourself that you're so strong and smart academically. You persevere, and that's all you can do at this point. Keep your head up, and just think about the future. When you can finally show your parents what a great decision you made by taking more classes and how smart it was of you to stick to your gut and do what you thought was right. You're ultimately the one who decides your fate, and you've clearly shown that your fate is looking better and better every day If it matters at all, I'm proud of you! Keep doin' you.

Dentalgirl,

Thank you very much for the thoughtful comment. I got a little emotional reading it towards the end lol. It really means a lot. You all do. Thank you and I wish you the very best.

 

[Faux]

I have the Kaplan blue book. I forgot what edition. Also, I have cliffs.

Thats all you used?

 

[irishmom]

Very similiar. Except I wished I got an 18 on the DAT my first try...

I got a 16 first time I took it...got a 20 the second time.

Also, if you are interested I am selling my DAT Destroyer and MATH Destroyer (2013 edition, but still good to use) $125 ono for both. They are very helpful for studying for the DAT. Also I used DAT Bootcamp.

 

[molarfarmers15]

Thats all you used?

Um...yes... But I did some more research a few days ago about a DAT destroyer and chads. I know a dental student and she is lending me Destroyer.

 

[molarfarmers15]

I got a 16 first time I took it...got a 20 the second time.

Also, if you are interested I am selling my DAT Destroyer and MATH Destroyer (2013 edition, but still good to use) $125 ono for both. They are very helpful for studying for the DAT. Also I used DAT Bootcamp.

Congrats Irishmom! I was just mentioning to the Faux that my friend is lending me the Destroyer (including the math) but I thank you for the offer.

 

[Faux]

Um...yes... But I did some more research a few days ago about a DAT destroyer and chads. I know a dental student and she is lending me Destroyer.

Coursesaver(chad)
dat destroyer
math destroyer
bootcamp
quvualt.

These are vastly better resources than kaplan blue book. Night and day and your score will improve drastically. Look at some DAT breakdowns on the dental forum. Also be aware of some DAT changes coming.

 

[molarfarmers15]

Coursesaver(chad)
dat destroyer
math destroyer
bootcamp
quvualt.

These are vastly better resources than kaplan blue book. Night and day and your score will improve drastically. Look at some DAT breakdowns on the dental forum. Also be aware of some DAT changes coming.

Thank you very much.

Changes? Do they change this year? That's the last thing I wanted to hear :/

 

[Hannah Banana]

Thank you very much.

Changes? Do they change this year? That's the last thing I wanted to hear :/

I heard they focus more in the Math portion but I'm not sure if there will be Calc in it or not.

 

[molarfarmers15]

I heard they focus more in the Math portion but I'm not sure if there will be Calc in it or not.

Calculus??? I thought dental schools didnt even require Calc?

 

[Faux]

Calculus??? I thought dental schools didnt even require Calc?

Theres no cal but there are some minor changes. Its somewhere around here. But really, don't feel too discourage with your score, considering what you books you used.

 

[Greyangel6]

I don't mean to brag or come off as arrogant but I have a 3.94 oGPA and even then, my Asian parents are still not happy (they wanted me to go physician path because of the prestige, since I come from a low-income, working family and the people in my Asian community look down on us).

I told my parents that there are 2 phases to growing up. First phase is the framework, which means I needed parenting, being taught what is right and what is wrong. Second phase is self-exploration, which is deciding for myself from what I've learned what is right and what is wrong. I made myself financially independent through scholarships, grants, jobs and emotionally independent. I only told my parents that I was going to dental school after I got accepted. I made sure that anything they say will be appreciated but won't change what I have planned.

I figured I'd leave you with this: You can't please everybody. Do what you think is right. The worst case scenario is that you made a mistake. But you will stand yourself up and correct that mistake. Live and Learn. Good luck!

 

[DentalDoge]

@molarfarmers15 I like what everyone is saying, follow these people's advice, you are on your way.

I don't mean to brag or come off as arrogant but I have a 3.94 oGPA and even then, my Asian parents are still not happy (they wanted me to go physician path because of the prestige, since I come from a low-income, working family and the people in my Asian community look down on us).

I told my parents that there are 2 phases to growing up. First phase is the framework, which means I needed parenting, being taught what is right and what is wrong. Second phase is self-exploration, which is deciding for myself from what I've learned what is right and what is wrong. I made myself financially independent through scholarships, grants, jobs and emotionally independent. I only told my parents that I was going to dental school after I got accepted. I made sure that anything they say will be appreciated but won't change what I have planned.

I figured I'd leave you with this: You can't please everybody. Do what you think is right. The worst case scenario is that you made a mistake. But you will stand yourself up and correct that mistake. Live and Learn. Good luck!

There's actually some merit to Asians looking down on dentists. The fact of the matter is, in Asia, it is easier to get a DMD/DDS and less sought after than an MD. Even specializing is pretty simple. Dentists also make waaaaay less than an MD in Asia. Then there's the prestige. Plus, the economy in Asian countries are vastly different than in United States.

Luckily my parents saw potential after I laid out how dentistry works in US. My parents have supported me all this way and I'm not about to cut them off. They've had their doubts but my resolution is iron-willed and backed by logic ... so you know it's bulletproof.

 

[Hopeandpray]

Quote by
Dr. Steve Maraboli

"People who lack the clarity, or determination to follow their own dreams will often find ways to discourage yours. live your truth and don't ever STOP!"

 

[Lock_Jaw]

Do what you wish. Nail this semester and nail the DAT and they won't say no. But seriously if you get a 22+ on DAT you should be set. Be sure to explain in your application your upward trend and your drive to help. Ignore the parents demands (with respect of course), and just do what you want. Honestly I agree with them on Post bac. not being worth anything except to dental adcoms. but I wouldn't be the best source of information for that. Either way at least you didn't give up.

 

[lnngu]

Your parents are right. You will need more than just a quarter or two of good grades to make an impression over 4 years of mediocrity. A second degree will look better and will show greater commitment to the adcoms. You would have to admit that if you thought about the situation objectively. Postbacs work better if the GPA gap you are trying to bridge is smaller. You could take "BS classes" for the next two years, and not budge that 2.8. Can you luck out, and secure an interview that way? Perhaps. Should you trust your future to it? Would I? Meh... A master would be one more arrow in your quiver, and some don't take that long. At least, that's what Deans and adcoms told ME not that long ago, when I had to overcome my own "dogsh*t" GPA.

Lastly, it seems to me that this whole thing about your parents being Asian is a non-sequitur. They are trying to tell you how to obtain the best odds to get in... sounds supportive enough to me. It's just not what you want to hear.

UOP c/o 2014

 

[molarfarmers15]

Theres no cal but there are some minor changes. Its somewhere around here. But really, don't feel too discourage with your score, considering what you books you used.

Thank you Faux.

 

[molarfarmers15]

I don't mean to brag or come off as arrogant but I have a 3.94 oGPA and even then, my Asian parents are still not happy (they wanted me to go physician path because of the prestige, since I come from a low-income, working family and the people in my Asian community look down on us).

I told my parents that there are 2 phases to growing up. First phase is the framework, which means I needed parenting, being taught what is right and what is wrong. Second phase is self-exploration, which is deciding for myself from what I've learned what is right and what is wrong. I made myself financially independent through scholarships, grants, jobs and emotionally independent. I only told my parents that I was going to dental school after I got accepted. I made sure that anything they say will be appreciated but won't change what I have planned.

I figured I'd leave you with this: You can't please everybody. Do what you think is right. The worst case scenario is that you made a mistake. But you will stand yourself up and correct that mistake. Live and Learn. Good luck!

I appreciate the advice greyangel. Thank you and best of luck.

 

[molarfarmers15]

Your parents are right. You will need more than just a quarter or two of good grades to make an impression over 4 years of mediocrity. A second degree will look better and will show greater commitment to the adcoms. You would have to admit that if you thought about the situation objectively. Postbacs work better if the GPA gap you are trying to bridge is smaller. You could take "BS classes" for the next two years, and not budge that 2.8. Can you luck out, and perhaps secure an interview that way? Perhaps. Should you trust your future to it? Would I? Meh... A master would be one more arrow in your quiver, and some don't take that long. At least, that's what Deans and adcoms told ME not that long ago, when I had to overcome my own "dogsh*t" GPA.

Lastly, it seems to me that this whole thing about your parents being Asian is a non-sequitur. They are trying to tell you how to obtain the best odds to get in... sounds supportive enough to me. It's just not what you want to hear.

UOP c/o 2014

Hi, Inngu,

Thank you for your input. Let me clarify. My parents want the masters in something that's not geared towards dental school. There's a good chance I will be doing a BMS masters next year (not because they told me but I made this decision long before they had any input). Since I still had plenty of upper lvl bio classes to take, adcoms actually told me a post bac would be the better alternative (and cheaper).

 

[lnngu]

Hi, Inngu,

Thank you for your input. Let me clarify. My parents want the masters in something that's not geared towards dental school. There's a good chance I will be doing a BMS masters next year (not because they told me but I made this decision long before they had any input). Since I still had plenty of upper lvl bio classes to take, adcoms actually told me a post bac would be the better alternative (and cheaper).

Fair enough. Sounds like a decent plan and best of luck to you. Just one point: a master not geared towards dental school doesn't necessarily exclude DS. Plenty of my colleagues have MBAs.

 

[molarfarmers15]

Fair enough. Sounds like a decent plan and best of luck to you. Just one point: a master not geared towards dental school doesn't necessarily exclude DS. Plenty of my colleagues have MBAs.

Gotcha. Thank you very much Dr.

 

[doc toothache]

A drama worthy of Jerry Springer.

 

[Jophiel]

Hey I suppose I'll throw my 2 cents in here. I feel ya about the parents not getting what you're trying to do and the strategy you're taking is a lot to explain. You should consider yourself lucky because your parents very obviously support you and care since they are housing you and trying to guide you to what they think is best- that's something a lot of people don't have. Looking at it from their point of view you do have a few red flags that as parents they'd be concerned about. You have an uphill battle getting into dental school and it seems you're really stuck on the idea of becoming a dentist but they're considering the dreaded "what ifs". What if you don't get in the second or third try? Will you have anything to show other than debt? It's a very tricky situation, and it's great you're being so positive about it! Of course your parents care and they want to account for all possibilities and want to protect you. Consider how them mentioning the possibility of not getting accepted has shaken you, are you prepared for that situation if it were to happen- how can they be confident you'll be able to recover? I'm also going to say, it's great that you're rethinking your situation- several times on my journey I needed some reality checks and doubted everything I was doing but it has always been an experience I grew from. Finally I think if you're looking for real advice on the situation, you should make up a solid backup plan if you don't get into dental school after X attempts and how you'll manage to pay off your debt and make a good living for yourself without it. This would help you and your parents sleep easier at night.

Also your parents sound a bit like mine, and let me tell you they aren't going to stop worrying about you just because you're an adult. They'll be bugging you and second guessing you your entire life so better get used to it and learn to appreciate it. I'm pretty sure they want you to succeed more than anyone on here so don't cut them out.
Anyway, good luck on your journey OP!

 

[BrazilianRider]

A drama worthy of Jerry Springer.

I guess cynicism is something we can all look forward to after a century of practicing dentistry.

 

[doc toothache]

I guess cynicism is something we can all look forward to after a century of practicing dentistry.

Ouch! Db ouch!

 

[LizLemongrab]

For what it's worth your parents' withdrawal of support could be temporary. I got pregnant my first semester in undergrad, had the child, tanked my GPA that year and still got in with a 3.07 sGPA. I was disowned for a few years and exacerbated by being kept isolated by my partner at that point. After leaving with the man I married, my undergraduate education has been financed with loans, scholarships and grants. I know what it's like to have your parents not believe in you. My advice to you is to carry on knowing that their support will return after they see the fruits of your labors. Know that there are other people who believe in you like friends and random strangers on the internet.

You really must decimate the DAT when you retake it to make up for the original GPA and DAT stats. There are lots of study schedule guides on the forums that are worth following as there are quite a number of people with truly impressive scores around here who were gracious enough to share how they did it. Based on your recent grades, I really believe you can pull this off.

Considering my final sGPA, you can be assured that my grades before the last 3 years were completely irredeemable garbage and that a lot of my science grades in my upper division courses were inconsistent but with an upward trend. I guess what I mean to say is that if dentistry is truly your passion and you're willing to commit the hours to a better DAT score to match your post-bacc performance, it's worth carrying on without their approval. You'll get it back when you make it. It also wouldn't hurt to develop a support system elsewhere. My husband and daughter are my biggest supporters. Ever since my daughter began speaking, she has been telling everyone that I'm the smartest person she knows (she doesn't know many adults, so her sample is too small and has bias issues, lmao) and that she wants to be a doctor of some kind when she grows up. You've got support here so maybe tap into some other predents at school to study and hang with?

Grades and family aside, what do your extracurriculars look like? Do you have any publications, substantial volunteer hours, long-term leadership positions in student clubs, shadowing hours, unusual or long practiced hobbies, international/domestic charitable effort experiences, or work experience? If not, it wouldn't hurt to buff this section up too. Your parents might not be supportive of this either, but consider taking a jewelry and metal working class at a community college. It would be nice to bring handiwork to your interviews. I wore a pearl necklace I hand picked the pearls for and knotted which I used as proof that my 15 PAT score was merely an unfortunate anomaly.

For reference, I am 26 now. I get that a lot of traditional Asian families expect a conventional timeline of achievement like 4 years undergrad leading directly to a professional program and somehow you're supposed to get married at some point. My parents felt a lot better about my prospects after I got married, saw that I am a capable parent/wife, and that I still carried a 3.65 taking about 40 credits per year for 3 years. What matters will be getting there.