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What do the "partners/spouses" do?

Discussion in 'Spouses and Partners' started by carcrazyguy, 03.01.04.

  1. carcrazyguy

    carcrazyguy Senior Member

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    SDN Members don't see this ad. (About Ads)
    I was just wondering what the "spouses" do during med-school?


    A) Full Time employment
    B) Part Time employment

    1) Career
    2) Something to keep me busy

    I plan to start out as a (B2) part time/something to keep me busy until I see that my wife transitions into her schooling. I thought that if I am home a little more, I can help more around the house and take a lot (of the little) load off her. Anyone care to share their "life in school" to help me understand a little better?

    THANKS
    Mike
  2. pathdr2b

    pathdr2b Removed

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    I haven't been accepted yet, hell I'm not married yet either but anticipate being both by the end of this year.;)

    My fiance' is the founder/president of an IT firm which means that we see very little of each other (he works more than most doctors I know:rolleyes: While I dont' anticipate any real problems during my first 2 years of med school, I am STRONGLY encouraging him to finish up his PhD during my last 2 years when he'll have a more predictable schedule and my schedulae is just plain nuts.

    I imagine though that the scenario is somewhat dfifferent when the man is in medical school, especially when there are kids involved. Look in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, no it's SUPERWOMAN!!!!
  3. tlew12778

    tlew12778 Senior Member

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    My FH is in med school and I work FT. I have no qualms about it. I would be bored otherwise. We also have more money this way.

    If kids were in the picture, I would still be working. I simply am not the SAHM type. They'd be going to Grandma's everyday or else to nursery school.

    As for managing the house, that is a constant argument btwn us. He seems to think that his work is more important and consuming than mine. They are probably equal and if anyone works longer hours, it's me. His are certainly more flexible in any case. So we just roll with the punches and do it when we have time.
  4. carcrazyguy

    carcrazyguy Senior Member

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    Does your income affect the amount he can get thru student loans? I know that I can not make enough to pay for everything her school/house payment/utilites/health insurance/car insurance/food. Just curious.
  5. Andrew_Doan

    Andrew_Doan Doc, Author, Entrepreneur Moderator Emeritus Lifetime Donor

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    Mine worked as a full-time nurse.

    Now she stays home and works.
  6. radspouse

    radspouse Saint

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    I was a full-time mother while my husband was in medical school. I was friends with seven other spouses of his fellow medical students who also chose to be full-time mothers. We were busy (and still are :D ), but every one of these couples made it through medical school and are still going strong towards the end of their residencies....

    :)
  7. carcrazyguy

    carcrazyguy Senior Member

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    So the only income was student loans? I have heard several people say they made it with 1-2 kids and only on student loan money. And I am still scared!!!?? I know a year from now I will be laughing at they way I am now. I am worried I won't be able to make enough money to pay all the "bills" every month. And I have been told that the more I make while she is in school the less she will qualify for in loans??? Someone please try to ease my mind about this!!!?
  8. tlew12778

    tlew12778 Senior Member

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    As far as I know (someone correct me if I'm wrong) the max amount you can get in FEDERAL aid is $18.5 a year. I think anyone would be hard pressed to raise a family on this. Obviously, there are private loans, scholarships, grants, etc. but I don't know how "easy" it would be to get these, much less rely on them to live on.

    As far as working and loans go, while it's true that working would limit your loan qualification, certain things like mortgages, car loans, etc, are counted as part of your "living expenses" and thus "deducted" from your salary. The government essentially rationalises that you earn less bc you have leans against you. So while you ARE earning a salary, you would still probably qualify for the $18.5k. It really depends on what your debt and salary are.

    That said, one should also consider the interest payments on the student loans. If working would allow you to pay some living expenses today, as opposed to paying them back with interest in the future, it might bew roth considering taking less in loans and working instead (well maybe PT if you still want ot be at home for your SO).
  9. radspouse

    radspouse Saint

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    It's certainly not easy to live off of medical school loans but it is possible and does involve delayed gratification. I have seen some incredible financial ingenuity on the part of the med student couples that have pulled this off.

    :)
  10. Wifty

    Wifty Eccentrically Silly Moderator Emeritus

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    The amount of federal loan is alot more then that actually......closer to 38,500 if I remember right (but check that out). You get more when a med student.
    Still, paying for school and then living off the rest does take some restraint. :)

    As for what we/spouses do, it varies. I decided to go back to college to work on getting a psych degree. There aren't alot of jobs in the town we are in.....so it keeps me busy and makes me feel like I am growing as a person.

    Other spouses work, or spend time doing various crafts. I am not very crafty. :)

    Plus, there is the mothering to be done (which I get to do now too!!) and spousing to be done. Med school is stressful, or can be, and it is good if one spouse in a relationship is able to have a life that is a bit less stressed.

    Good luck!!
    With smiles,
    Rebecca
  11. newby02

    newby02 Junior Member

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    My wife is a MS2, and I cut my work hours to be more available. The other spouses of her classmates are some what diverse in what they do.

    J

    :D
  12. sddoc

    sddoc Senior Member

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    I'm an MSII. My husband works about 35 hours a week and goes to school full time. Last year, while he was looking for work, he was extremely bored, because I always had a book in hand. This year, things are more under control with respect to medical school, and he decided to finish his bachelor's degree. The key here is that you need to make time for each other during a part of each day (pre-test days excluded of course!) Also, remember to be patient. Medical school is hard and unbelievably stressful. Your job is to do what you can to alleviate as much stress as possible for your spouse. Help them remember that there is life outside of a pathology book!!!
  13. Bridges

    Bridges Junior Member

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    I am teaching while taking a class or two at graduate school myself.
  14. lovemydrhubby

    lovemydrhubby Senior Member

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    I am in the A2 category right now. I don't dislike my job, but it's not a career for me- just something to bring in money and keep busy at the moment.
    I hope to become a SAHM soon- we're trying to figure out how we can live off student loans still!
  15. Baditude

    Baditude Senior Member

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    My husband is a mechanic and will work full time during the day and be Mr. Mom at night to our 2 kids while I am in school :thumbup:
  16. Andrew_Doan

    Andrew_Doan Doc, Author, Entrepreneur Moderator Emeritus Lifetime Donor

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    [​IMG]
    My wife started selling Mary Kay last month. She's made almost $1000/month just working 1-2 hours/day.

    http://www.marykay.com/juliedoan

    She enjoys it. Stays home with the kids. Throws parties. Take people out to lunch and deducts it. Makes good money selling a nice product. People are coming back to her for more cosmetics all the time. Women really love this stuff.
  17. gaslady

    gaslady Senior Member

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    Your income affects the portion of student loans that the interest will be subsidized by the government and the type of loans you can get but it doesn't affect the total amount you can borrow. This is determined by the budget of your medical school. The budget is determined by the tuition, fees and cost of living in the area. State schools have budgets that are generally at least $10K a year less, but can be significantly cheaper than that.

    I don't think it's that uncommon for a spouse in medicine to feel that their work is more difficult than that of a working spouse who isn't in medicine. I see this with a couple I know where the husband is an intern. I don't think it's right, but I think part of that comes from the emotional drain that medicine can be. Training is also very vigorous and can be extremely stressful when you are trying to impress others in order to get a residency of choice. At some institutions on clinical rotations since there is so much you don't know you are made to feel inferior. A lot of this is changing in medicine but it is still prevalent, especially at older insitutions and in more competitive specialities. There can be a constant strive for excellence that is difficult to live up to. The hours are long and intense. Mistakes that are acceptable or mere inconviences in other areas are serious in medicine because we are dealing with peoples lives. This takes a toll. I think it's also can be a reflection of the personalities of the people who go into medicine.

    I would recommend telling a spouse who you don't feel appreciates your contributions how it makes you feel. Acknowledge what they are doing and ask for acknowledged for what you do as well. If all else fails, hire a maid to come once a month to help take some of the burden off. My husband and are both residents, we did and it really helps.
  18. MessedwithTexas

    MessedwithTexas New Member

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    I do Web and database programming. I don't find a lot of company in this area and most people glaze over when I answer the question, "So what do you do?" My DO hubby still just always replys, "She does computer stuff." It pays fairly decent and I get to work from home - at least until they outsource my job to India. I do want to scale back to part time when my hubby finally brings home one of these paychecks he says is down the road. I'll believe it when I see it. We have a 2 year old and one on the way, so eventually I'd like to do something where the schedule is coincides with the school schedule.
  19. TeeLee

    TeeLee Stalker-Not Much of a Talker

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    Hi Mike!
    Being the spouse of a third year TCOM student I thing I might be able to answer your question somewhat accurately. We receive about $26,000 per year before tuition. That includes two children. If there were no children it would be less. (about $20,000) You do not affect the amount since you are expected to support yourself during school. Kinda stinks if you want to be old fashioned and stay home with your kids, but it is enough money if you stick to a budget. We have been making it for three years with only a few minor glitches. Thank goodness for parents! Please contact Margaret in the financial aid dept 817-735-2505, she can answer any of your questions better than I can.
    See you at orientation,
    Trina
  20. Xandie

    Xandie OB/GYN Resident

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    My fiance (husband in 52 days, but who's counting?) is planning on starting his bachelors next year while I attend medical school. We're hoping to do the four years with each of us only attending school and neither of us working, but I'm not sure how that'll work out for money. Any ideas/encouragement?

    Xandie
  21. pathdr2b

    pathdr2b Removed

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    I LOVE Mary Kay products! And it's great that you support her career with the Mary Kay logo in your post! :clap:

    PS-Still looking at your alma mater but just until I get my MCAT scores back! :laugh:
  22. Andrew_Doan

    Andrew_Doan Doc, Author, Entrepreneur Moderator Emeritus Lifetime Donor

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    The interesting thing is that we don't really need the money. She really wants to adopt a child from China/SE Asia. We agreed that if she could raise the $$$ upfront, then she has the green light to pursue this difficult endeavor. Mary Kay is how she decided to make the $$$. :D
  23. cricketnmatt

    cricketnmatt Junior Member

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    I was a full-time student and worked.

    I becae a stay at home mother when our first child was born halfway through internship.

    Crystal

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