Women MudPhuds and babies

[Picklesali]

I'm sure this has been brought up many times before...but:

What is the feasibility of being a *successful* female physician-scientist AND raising children. Do any of you ladies currently in programs or applying now plan of having a family in the future?

Discuss



(Disclaimer: Personally, I don't know if I want to have children in the future. Right now I am obviously putting my career first. Not looking for personal advice, just friendly discussion)

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[solitude]

Not a lady, so I won't intrude on the conversation other than to say that I love the title of the thread

I'm sure this has been brought up many times before...but:

What is the feasibility of being a *successful* female physician-scientist AND raising children. Do any of you ladies currently in programs or applying now plan of having a family in the future?

Discuss



(Disclaimer: Personally, I don't know if I want to have children in the future. Right now I am obviously putting my career first. Not looking for personal advice, just friendly discussion)

 

[FoxTrot12]

I recently talked with a MudPhud at the U of Utah. 1st off she was SUPER nice, very laid back and didn't seem too stressed out. Her husband is a surgeon and she spends about 80% of her work time in a lab, 20% in clinic and still has time to raise 2 kids (in the photo on her desk they didn't look neglected at all ;-) .

I asked her about this and her response was, "If you wait till a "good time" to have kids you'll wait forever, so just go for it when it feels right. It is never easy to raise a family but it is doable as an MD/PhD just as it is in any career."

Granted, this woman is probably superwoman in her "free time" but it was nice to hear none the less.

 

[InNotOf]

I know a couple female MD/PhDs and have thoughts on their experiences. PM me if you're interested.

 

[QofQuimica]

I'm sure this has been brought up many times before...but:

What is the feasibility of being a *successful* female physician-scientist AND raising children. Do any of you ladies currently in programs or applying now plan of having a family in the future?

Discuss



(Disclaimer: Personally, I don't know if I want to have children in the future. Right now I am obviously putting my career first. Not looking for personal advice, just friendly discussion)

The successful female physicians and physician scientists with families I have met are able to do it by having a lot of help. Some have an understanding husband with a flexible schedule who does a lot of the childcare, and many have nannies. I think that planning to be a superwoman is completely unrealistic because both science and child-rearing are beyond full-time jobs. Something will have to give somewhere no matter how accomplished and talented a woman may be. Personally, I have always known that I will never be a superwoman, and I have never wanted my own children, so in my case the solution to the problem was relatively simple.

 

[Hard24Get]

It seems like the Penn tradition for people to get pregnant during the PhD years (except me, of course). We have a good number of female physician-scientists, and I would say most have kids or are working on it. Some have husbands with less-demanding jobs, some are physician couples that use housekeepers and nannies to keep up with it all. It can be done, the question is whether there is a will, for the most part. In general, it seems that women MuD-PhuDs have kids at a lesser rate primary 2/2 decreased interest (ie, already fulfilled with career) rather than diminished ability. If there is a will, there is a way.

 

[dunkindona]

Check out Linda Hirschman's Get To Work manifesto. Interesting food for thought.

I am a mudphud mommy of two (had both in grad school). My husband is not in medicine and so provides the family with an income that can support our basic needs and great schools for the girls. I agree that there is no perfect time for children. But, I'm also confident anyone smart and devoted enough to manage the mudphud thing will have little trouble with the kid thing. You don't have to be superwoman. But, you will need a tremendous amount of support and to be prepared to pour as much of yourself into this legacy as your others. We're all notoriously unable to choose between the many tantalizing options life throws our way (why else an MD AND a PhD, right?). This is just another one of them.

 

[Dodo23]

Not a lady, so I won't intrude on the conversation other than to say that I love the title of the thread

I just happened on this thread and I love it, too! (What are you doing here, anyway, solitude? JK, I'm just being facetious. )

But Pickles, my serious answer to this question is from a tenured female MudPhud scientist I spoke to recently. She said it is possible to 'have it all,' so to speak, if you have lots of good help, i.e., a reliable nanny. And having a supportive/understanding husband is also very important. Another female (PhD-only) scientist I spoke to said more or less the same thing(s). You just have to accept that you probably can't do it all yourself without help (unless you're a superwoman...). And while some people seem to be able to have babies during grad school or even, gasp, med school - I still dunno how they do it - for others it may be best to wait until later.

[Disclaimer - sort of like Pickles, I'm putting my education and career first for now. Just thought it would be interesting to add a couple of anecdotes to the thread.]