The Loneliness of the Med Student

Bartelby said:

I have to disagree with this, especially if that 'looking' is in reference to a girlfriend. I don't know about you, but not many girls ask me out on dates. When I ask them out, however, I usually get a "yes." I have fun getting to know several different girls and if something clicks I pursue that. It's pretty much standard for finding a girlfriend (I think), and it's a whole lot more fun/productive than sitting around waiting for the magic of detached apathy to bring girls clawing at your door.

If the looking is in reference to friends, same kind of thing. Who is likely to find friends they enjoy more, the person who goes and does things with many different people at different opportunities and then gradually moves toward spending the most time with those he or she likes the most, or the person who sits around waiting for the magic of inaction to bring a good group of friends?

I will not dispute that if you try too hard (look desperate) it turns people away, but I think you can find a healthy balance between putting yourself out there and not seeming needy.

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tncekm said:

...just to focus on yourself for a while...

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azzarah said:

Med school sucks for everyone, especially the first 2 years! Having gone through med school and now being a third year resident, I can tell you that second year of med school was by far the toughest, most overwhelming year. Once you are done with second year, all the fun begins! 🙂 If you are getting depressed, see psych. Don't wait until you fail some test to get help. There are plenty of people in med school who get seriously depressed, so if you are feeling sad and lonely, go get help. During second year, I either studied at the bright beautiful undergrad library at my med school or went to a coffee shop with my friends who were in the school of public health. There were definitely times when I would study from 7am straight until 11pm at night for an entire block and still never get through all the material even once...It was a horrible feeling showing up to the exams. My co-resident who is sitting next to me concurs.

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knockoutMice said:

Some say "Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self"
Others say, "You are lonely when you have so much to give but no one to give to."

I think loneliness n sadness are inseparable so I'm going to adress both these issues here.

Trust me, I've been there, I know what loneliness, sadness, depression means n I've come out of that all by myself. If you want to get over your loneliness, just try to look at the glass half full n not half empty. Now I feel that dependence upon other people for happiness is a sign of weakness. Instead I try to find happiness within me.

People tend to ovef look something that loneliness gives you, it gives you time and solitude. When I broke up with my gf, I found that I have all the time in the world to do everything (that might not be the case with evryone else). So what I am saying is, devote that time to take care of yourself.

The best thing you can do is -
Take up a hobby (a serious one) - it can be anything. It can be something you had always wanted to do but never got around doing either because of time constraints or other reasons. It can be music, painting, story books, world cinema, star gazing, photography, cooking... u name it. Basically i'd suggest "whatever helps" but just ask yourself that what u r taking up is it something nice, something beautiful... judge with ur own morality n rationality n b true to urself, n u'll never be wrong. I believe following one's own heart is the toughest n one of the most beautiful things that one can do. (I know u've heard these words many times over, so u might readily want to discard them. But trust me, I've REALISED these in my life, all by myself & after being through a lot, so u can pretty much bet that these have atleast some credibility)

For me it was music - When i was passing through this phase of real loneliness and depression during my 2nd year, I took up the guitar n my life has never been the same again. Music is the most beautiful thing in the world. I started out with rock, blues then went into world music, n now am into indian classical (IMO the greatest form of music in the universe), western classical, fusion jazz/rock, pop jazz.

I'll never forget something my chemistry teacher told me in 11th grade - Good things will never come to you, you'll have to go towards them.
I have realised this during every step in my life.

Finally work hard to achieve your goals, take a break sometimes, relax, have a drink/some good food, go to a movie (all by urself) or just sit in a park or by a river or lake and try to enjoy your solitude. Trust me u'll become addicted to it.

Just remember - Expectations are the source of all sadness (just imagine the last time u were sad n u'll realise tht it was bcuz u were expecting something to happen or someone to do something n it didnt happen). U might need to let go of even the basic expectations from life. If you dont expect then u cannot be sad, there's a saying "A thousand men can't undress a naked man." However the one and only person you can expect something from is yourself, thts because u dont have any control over actions of other people or other things, but only over ur own.

If you c, I don't post much on SDN, thats because most of the times I don't have anything to say n I'm not one of those who speak just cuz they have to say something, rather I speak when I have something to say. I have given a lot of thought to these concepts of loneliness, sadness, happiness, solitude, thats y i cud write so much.

I'll be most glad if it helps someone else to even the smallest extent.

Take care 🙂

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Bac Si said:

Do you like philosophy? Reason I asked is because I do and I also enjoyed reading your post 😀

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JustSomePreMed said:

I'm an M2 who's struggling with what I'm sure at least a few people have struggled with on here: loneliness and isolation.

I remember feeling this a bit last year, particularly during the winter while studying biochem and all that boring stuff. But this year it struck much earlier, and I've been having trouble with it.

I do well in school, but I also find that going to class is a huge waste of time for me, so I don't go. I only attend the mandatory small group activities we have most mornings. Then I feel like most of my time otherwise is spent studying and studying and studying. M2 has more information, so there seems like even less time to do anything but studying (I do try to work out fairly regularly so I don't turn into a slob).

Part of it is isolation from my other classmates I guess. Part of it is having no girlfriend (my girlfriend and I broke up in the Fall of last year . . . then I dated a girl this summer that I turned out to not really like at all, so I dumped her). I've never been one to use women as a crutch, but maybe that's part of my problem. But then again, I can't seem to find the time to go out and meet women outside of med school anyway.

It's gotten me real down lately, and the fact that it's still only October has me concerned, since it seems like it'll only get worse as Step I approaches.

Any advice?

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reedman said:

Dude WTF is wrong with you?!?!?!?? I swear to god if I had half that kind of good fortune I'd take over the world.

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ILikeFood said:

Damn dude. Maybe it's me but I would've thrown caution to the wind.

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scurred09 said:

Medical school had really changed him. That is sad when you can't spare a min or two to unload your stress.

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JustSomePreMed said:

I also find that going to class is a huge waste of time for me, so I don't go. I only attend the mandatory small group activities we have most mornings.

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knockoutMice said:

Some say "Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self"
Others say, "You are lonely when you have so much to give but no one to give to."

I think loneliness n sadness are inseparable so I'm going to adress both these issues here.

Trust me, I've been there, I know what loneliness, sadness, depression means n I've come out of that all by myself. If you want to get over your loneliness, just try to look at the glass half full n not half empty. Now I feel that dependence upon other people for happiness is a sign of weakness. Instead I try to find happiness within me.

People tend to ovef look something that loneliness gives you, it gives you time and solitude. When I broke up with my gf, I found that I have all the time in the world to do everything (that might not be the case with evryone else). So what I am saying is, devote that time to take care of yourself.

The best thing you can do is -
Take up a hobby (a serious one) - it can be anything. It can be something you had always wanted to do but never got around doing either because of time constraints or other reasons. It can be music, painting, story books, world cinema, star gazing, photography, cooking... u name it. Basically i'd suggest "whatever helps" but just ask yourself that what u r taking up is it something nice, something beautiful... judge with ur own morality n rationality n b true to urself, n u'll never be wrong. I believe following one's own heart is the toughest n one of the most beautiful things that one can do. (I know u've heard these words many times over, so u might readily want to discard them. But trust me, I've REALISED these in my life, all by myself & after being through a lot, so u can pretty much bet that these have atleast some credibility)

For me it was music - When i was passing through this phase of real loneliness and depression during my 2nd year, I took up the guitar n my life has never been the same again. Music is the most beautiful thing in the world. I started out with rock, blues then went into world music, n now am into indian classical (IMO the greatest form of music in the universe), western classical, fusion jazz/rock, pop jazz.

I'll never forget something my chemistry teacher told me in 11th grade - Good things will never come to you, you'll have to go towards them.
I have realised this during every step in my life.

Finally work hard to achieve your goals, take a break sometimes, relax, have a drink/some good food, go to a movie (all by urself) or just sit in a park or by a river or lake and try to enjoy your solitude. Trust me u'll become addicted to it.

Just remember - Expectations are the source of all sadness (just imagine the last time u were sad n u'll realise tht it was bcuz u were expecting something to happen or someone to do something n it didnt happen). U might need to let go of even the basic expectations from life. If you dont expect then u cannot be sad, there's a saying "A thousand men can't undress a naked man." However the one and only person you can expect something from is yourself, thts because u dont have any control over actions of other people or other things, but only over ur own.

If you c, I don't post much on SDN, thats because most of the times I don't have anything to say n I'm not one of those who speak just cuz they have to say something, rather I speak when I have something to say. I have given a lot of thought to these concepts of loneliness, sadness, happiness, solitude, thats y i cud write so much.

I'll be most glad if it helps someone else to even the smallest extent.

Take care 🙂

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docONcall said:

You feel lonely, isolated, blah blah blah and you're not doing ANYTHING about it. Feeling sorry for yourself won't help you. Go out and have some life. Fun won't chase after you, you should chase after it. If you don't chase after it, then just don't sit your ass all day bitching how you feel lonely and isolated. Go and try make some friends - go to bars or anywhere that you can have your social life back. Don't be like those fat teenager girls that do nothing and whine on how they feel left out.

Don't let med school take your social life completely away from you. You need to have some fun while in med school. At least make some good memories while you're at med school!

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docONcall said:

You feel lonely, isolated, blah blah blah and you're not doing ANYTHING about it. Feeling sorry for yourself won't help you. Go out and have some life. Fun won't chase after you, you should chase after it. If you don't chase after it, then just don't sit your ass all day bitching how you feel lonely and isolated. Go and try make some friends - go to bars or anywhere that you can have your social life back. Don't be like those fat teenager girls that do nothing and whine on how they feel left out.

Don't let med school take your social life completely away from you. You need to have some fun while in med school. At least make some good memories while you're at med school!

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knockoutMice said:

Some say "Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self"
Others say, "You are lonely when you have so much to give but no one to give to."

I think loneliness n sadness are inseparable so I'm going to adress both these issues here.

Trust me, I've been there, I know what loneliness, sadness, depression means n I've come out of that all by myself. If you want to get over your loneliness, just try to look at the glass half full n not half empty. Now I feel that dependence upon other people for happiness is a sign of weakness. Instead I try to find happiness within me.

People tend to ovef look something that loneliness gives you, it gives you time and solitude. When I broke up with my gf, I found that I have all the time in the world to do everything (that might not be the case with evryone else). So what I am saying is, devote that time to take care of yourself.

The best thing you can do is -
Take up a hobby (a serious one) - it can be anything. It can be something you had always wanted to do but never got around doing either because of time constraints or other reasons. It can be music, painting, story books, world cinema, star gazing, photography, cooking... u name it. Basically i'd suggest "whatever helps" but just ask yourself that what u r taking up is it something nice, something beautiful... judge with ur own morality n rationality n b true to urself, n u'll never be wrong. I believe following one's own heart is the toughest n one of the most beautiful things that one can do. (I know u've heard these words many times over, so u might readily want to discard them. But trust me, I've REALISED these in my life, all by myself & after being through a lot, so u can pretty much bet that these have atleast some credibility)

For me it was music - When i was passing through this phase of real loneliness and depression during my 2nd year, I took up the guitar n my life has never been the same again. Music is the most beautiful thing in the world. I started out with rock, blues then went into world music, n now am into indian classical (IMO the greatest form of music in the universe), western classical, fusion jazz/rock, pop jazz.

I'll never forget something my chemistry teacher told me in 11th grade - Good things will never come to you, you'll have to go towards them.
I have realised this during every step in my life.

Finally work hard to achieve your goals, take a break sometimes, relax, have a drink/some good food, go to a movie (all by urself) or just sit in a park or by a river or lake and try to enjoy your solitude. Trust me u'll become addicted to it.

Just remember - Expectations are the source of all sadness (just imagine the last time u were sad n u'll realise tht it was bcuz u were expecting something to happen or someone to do something n it didnt happen). U might need to let go of even the basic expectations from life. If you dont expect then u cannot be sad, there's a saying "A thousand men can't undress a naked man." However the one and only person you can expect something from is yourself, thts because u dont have any control over actions of other people or other things, but only over ur own.

If you c, I don't post much on SDN, thats because most of the times I don't have anything to say n I'm not one of those who speak just cuz they have to say something, rather I speak when I have something to say. I have given a lot of thought to these concepts of loneliness, sadness, happiness, solitude, thats y i cud write so much.

I'll be most glad if it helps someone else to even the smallest extent.

Take care 🙂

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Excelsius said:

Even though girls find me very attractive and themselves come on to me,

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Excelsius said:

I have to say this, the ideas you are trying to convey are not commensurate to the level of language you're using. Using language like "cuz," "c," or "n" really detracts from your point and credibility. Some of your points are just ok, but consider this: when reading your post, it is very easy for someone to see that your woes have made you give up in many areas of your life, more than anything else. Yeah, philosophy is good. But don't forget psychology. So what happened to you? You had social problems that caused you a lot of pain. What you did is you turned your back on your problems without solving anything and instead sublimated your issues by playing your guitar. Do you really think that's the solution? To give up? To become more introverted? Ok, let's say it works for you for now, but let me ask you: how long do you think you are going to play your guitar? So, 10 years pass, you finish your residency, and your life should begin. Will it? Not really. Because you will have spent the previous decade or more of your life avoiding your issues by playing a guitar. I can't help it, but have you seen Animal House? This scene is so perfect for this case:

[YOUTUBE]a9JYq-mXprw[/YOUTUBE]

I don't have time to write a long dissertation here, but I'll say that as an INTJ, I am very introverted myself, perhaps more than many of you here. Even though girls find me very attractive and themselves come on to me, I was so shy that I did not have a gf until well into college and even then it was not ideal for me. I don't like small talk, had never been to wild party, and was so shy that couldn't even ask a girl out even though she was already doing most of the work for me. The main reason I ended up with a gf is because of the law firm where I worked and this older woman was so intrigued by me and my work that point blank asked me out and by that time I was pretty bold myself and from there it started...

Anyway, to get to the point: ask yourself, WHY are you unhappy? You have achieved and are achieving everything in terms of professional and financial accomplishments. What could possibly make you depressed? The answer is one of Freud's three major causes of pain - social pain caused by your outside world. I was unhappy most of my life too until one day I just gave this some thought. Why is it that we're so unhappy? Ok, the meaning of life is pretty depressing so you can't really change that (not that most people think about it in the first place). Let's leave it. What is the other major issue? Social. Now ask yourself: "Self, would I ever get into medschool if I did not peruse my books?" Let me answer that for you: Hell no. So next question is: "Self, can I expect to be socially happy if I don't know the rules?" Allow me to answer that for you as well: **** NO! So do yourself a favor and go get a book about how to grow balls, aka, how to approach a woman so that next time you're driving your car and see this hot chick on the street, you stop your ******* car, get out, and go meet her. I don't know why you guys are bitching and moaning about your medschool class. Isn't there a lawschool around? Don't you have a dental or nursing school? Aren't there any women on the street? And who the **** said that studying and sex are mutually exclusive? I bet that most of you are depressed because you just don't have the balls to do socially what you want to do. By default, girls are frustrated too because there are few real men in their classes. Do you know that some of the most attractive girls have the hardest time finding a guy? Nobody has the balls to ask them out without peeing all over their diapers.

And for all you out there "waiting" until medschool ends before you date anyone or start your life in any shape or form - bullsh*t. Take that philosophy, wipe your ass with it, and flush it down the toilet along with your existential diarrhea. You want real philosophy, read some Nietzsche or Kant. That's real philosophy. Living your life alone because you have no balls to find the right girl is not philosophy, it's self pitying BS and avoidance by using guitars and porn sites. So my suggestion is start living your lives now. Don't wait for nature (even though it has been calling for years) or God (even though it's only in your head). Get some books, do your homework, grow confidence, then go out there and meet some women. Both genders in the class will be happy. I can't imagine anyone will be able to stay mentally stabile by only working hard and not getting some release. Yeah, a guitar is nice. I play the piano. But you know what? My piano won't cook for me or have dinner with me. And sure as hell she won't make love to me either. Now put that chicken down.

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unsung said:

I see what you're saying.

I'd rather date the guitar player, however, than the guy that pulls over to the side of the road to hit on women...

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Do you really think that's the solution? To give up? To become more introverted?"

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docONcall said:

You feel lonely, isolated, blah blah blah and you're not doing ANYTHING about it. Feeling sorry for yourself won't help you. Go out and have some life. Fun won't chase after you, you should chase after it. If you don't chase after it, then just don't sit your ass all day bitching how you feel lonely and isolated. Go and try make some friends - go to bars or anywhere that you can have your social life back. Don't be like those fat teenager girls that do nothing and whine on how they feel left out.

Don't let med school take your social life completely away from you. You need to have some fun while in med school. At least make some good memories while you're at med school!

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knockoutMice said:

@ Excelsius

Look dude, I seriously have no idea why you chose to attack me! I don't remember asking you to accept my philosophy. I am bothering to reply just to make it very clear that I am not trying to prove a point here. Different things work for different people. From whatever insight I could gather regarding your personality from your post, all I can say that we are two completely different people, our priorities n agendas in life are entirely different; so it follows that you won't like my ideas. If you don't agree with me that's totally fine. I'm cool with that.

Firstly I want to make it clear that I am from India, so I don't have much idea about how Americans form impressions about people from their diction. All I wanted was to convey some ideas which I hoped to be of SOME help to people who need it. I just don't get how it has anything to do with my usage of some standard abbreviations. I would really like to know based on what rationality you made your comment "Using language like "cuz," "c," or "n" really detracts from your point and credibility"

Could you kindly elaborate on the point "when reading your post, it is very easy for someone to see that your woes have made you give up in many areas of your life, more than anything else." So tell me, which "areas" of my life I have given up on?
I think you mistunderstood my comment about giving up your EXPECTATIONs as giving up MANY AREAS of my life! You indeed have deep sense of comprehension. If I'm not wrong, then this beautiful quote from The Geeta translates to "Do your job, don't crave for results." That is all I meant.

Inspite of not having time to write a long dissertation, you have actually written by far the longest post in the thread 😀 n the fact that you can study n have sex at the same time... it totally amazes me

Let me explain your philosophy more clearly, which is apparently all you have gathered from Nietzsche or Kant n that book "for growing balls": 😎 Okay, I'm sad, depressed and lonely, but I won't give up, I'll just go n pick up some girls n get laid. That is the answer to all of my problems. Yeah! I'm the kewl guy, watch out chicks, I'm coming for you. 😎

I'm pretty sure with that philosophy you'll get a lot of hot babes n get laid plety of times, but one thing I can tell you is that the only thing worse than ending up alone is to end up with people who make you feel all alone. (WGD)

I'll tell you what happened to me. I realised that most (not all) of the people around me were these really big jerks, wannabes and losers (guess what kind of people I'm talking about here ) (and yes I do consider the possibility that I might be all wrong and I am actually the one who deserves those adjectives...). I decided I didn't want to have anything to do with people like these. So! So what I did was I tried to "go towards the good things" (good things according to my perception adn choice, picking up girls and getting laid is definitely not high up there, besides in India the social structure is entirely different n much more conservative so those things are not even options here). I turned my back on only those things that were really beyond my control. You have a better suggestion for that?

" Geez! You sound like Oprah... goooood!

Since you are a self-proclaimed INTJ, I have just one suggestion for you. Judge me all you can, just keep your judgements to yourself.

Finally all that I woud like to say is that, you have put forth a way of dealing with sadness/loneliness that has worked for you. That is something worth appreciating. What I can tell you is I'll defeinitely try out a couple of things (like going out n picking up girls 😀) like you said and let you know.

Peace.

PS I am just curious, what is it that you do?
PPS I'm feeling really sorry for having to sabotage this thread, after all its been through 😀

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LitleMsMedSkool said:

It's must easier for people to throw out suggestions as "solutions" to these feelings than to really go through it.

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LitleMsMedSkool said:

Just remember, it gets better!

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Excelsius said:

I have to say this, the ideas you are trying to convey are not commensurate to the level of language you're using. Using language like "cuz," "c," or "n" really detracts from your point and credibility. Some of your points are just ok, but consider this: when reading your post, it is very easy for someone to see that your woes have made you give up in many areas of your life, more than anything else. Yeah, philosophy is good. But don't forget psychology. So what happened to you? You had social problems that caused you a lot of pain. What you did is you turned your back on your problems without solving anything and instead sublimated your issues by playing your guitar. Do you really think that's the solution? To give up? To become more introverted? Ok, let's say it works for you for now, but let me ask you: how long do you think you are going to play your guitar? So, 10 years pass, you finish your residency, and your life should begin. Will it? Not really. Because you will have spent the previous decade or more of your life avoiding your issues by playing a guitar. I can't help it, but have you seen Animal House? This scene is so perfect for this case:

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9JYq-mXprw[/YOUTUBE]

I don't have time to write a long dissertation here, but I'll say that as an INTJ, I am very introverted myself, perhaps more than many of you here. Even though girls find me very attractive and themselves come on to me, I was so shy that I did not have a gf until well into college and even then it was not ideal for me. I don't like small talk, had never been to wild party, and was so shy that couldn't even ask a girl out even though she was already doing most of the work for me. The main reason I ended up with a gf is because of the law firm where I worked and this older woman was so intrigued by me and my work that point blank asked me out and by that time I was pretty bold myself and from there it started...

Anyway, to get to the point: ask yourself, WHY are you unhappy? You have achieved and are achieving everything in terms of professional and financial accomplishments. What could possibly make you depressed? The answer is one of Freud's three major causes of pain - social pain caused by your outside world. I was unhappy most of my life too until one day I just gave this some thought. Why is it that we're so unhappy? Ok, the meaning of life is pretty depressing so you can't really change that (not that most people think about it in the first place). Let's leave it. What is the other major issue? Social. Now ask yourself: "Self, would I ever get into medschool if I did not peruse my books?" Let me answer that for you: Hell no. So next question is: "Self, can I expect to be socially happy if I don't know the rules?" Allow me to answer that for you as well: **** NO! So do yourself a favor and go get a book about how to grow balls, aka, how to approach a woman so that next time you're driving your car and see this hot chick on the street, you stop your ******* car, get out, and go meet her. I don't know why you guys are bitching and moaning about your medschool class. Isn't there a lawschool around? Don't you have a dental or nursing school? Aren't there any women on the street? And who the **** said that studying and sex are mutually exclusive? I bet that most of you are depressed because you just don't have the balls to do socially what you want to do. By default, girls are frustrated too because there are few real men in their classes. Do you know that some of the most attractive girls have the hardest time finding a guy? Nobody has the balls to ask them out without peeing all over their diapers.

And for all you out there "waiting" until medschool ends before you date anyone or start your life in any shape or form - bullsh*t. Take that philosophy, wipe your ass with it, and flush it down the toilet along with your existential diarrhea. You want real philosophy, read some Nietzsche or Kant. That's real philosophy. Living your life alone because you have no balls to find the right girl is not philosophy, it's self pitying BS and avoidance by using guitars and porn sites. So my suggestion is start living your lives now. Don't wait for nature (even though it has been calling for years) or God (even though it's only in your head). Get some books, do your homework, grow confidence, then go out there and meet some women. Both genders in the class will be happy. I can't imagine anyone will be able to stay mentally stabile by only working hard and not getting some release. Yeah, a guitar is nice. I play the piano. But you know what? My piano won't cook for me or have dinner with me. And sure as hell she won't make love to me either. Now put that chicken down.

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JustSomePreMed said:

I'm an M2 who's struggling with what I'm sure at least a few people have struggled with on here: loneliness and isolation.

I remember feeling this a bit last year, particularly during the winter while studying biochem and all that boring stuff. But this year it struck much earlier, and I've been having trouble with it.

I do well in school, but I also find that going to class is a huge waste of time for me, so I don't go. I only attend the mandatory small group activities we have most mornings. Then I feel like most of my time otherwise is spent studying and studying and studying. M2 has more information, so there seems like even less time to do anything but studying (I do try to work out fairly regularly so I don't turn into a slob).

Part of it is isolation from my other classmates I guess. Part of it is having no girlfriend (my girlfriend and I broke up in the Fall of last year . . . then I dated a girl this summer that I turned out to not really like at all, so I dumped her). I've never been one to use women as a crutch, but maybe that's part of my problem. But then again, I can't seem to find the time to go out and meet women outside of med school anyway.

It's gotten me real down lately, and the fact that it's still only October has me concerned, since it seems like it'll only get worse as Step I approaches.

Any advice?

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riverjib said:

First of all, this should be in the allopathic forum.

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GuyWhoDoesStuff said:

It is.
😕

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scurred09 said:

If any female med. student ever feel lonely. I can help you meet those needs. Call me.

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Excelsius said:

I bet that most of you are depressed because you just don't have the balls to do socially what you want to do. By default, girls are frustrated too because there are few real men in their classes. Do you know that some of the most attractive girls have the hardest time finding a guy? Nobody has the balls to ask them out without peeing all over their diapers.

And for all you out there "waiting" until medschool ends before you date anyone or start your life in any shape or form - bullsh*t. Take that philosophy, wipe your ass with it, and flush it down the toilet along with your existential diarrhea. You want real philosophy, read some Nietzsche or Kant. That's real philosophy. Living your life alone because you have no balls to find the right girl is not philosophy, it's self pitying BS and avoidance by using guitars and porn sites. So my suggestion is start living your lives now. Don't wait for nature (even though it has been calling for years) or God (even though it's only in your head). Get some books, do your homework, grow confidence, then go out there and meet some women. Both genders in the class will be happy. I can't imagine anyone will be able to stay mentally stabile by only working hard and not getting some release. Yeah, a guitar is nice. I play the piano. But you know what? My piano won't cook for me or have dinner with me. And sure as hell she won't make love to me either. Now put that chicken down.

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shreypete said:

LOL. Get lost gigolo.

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Cybii said:

👍👍👍👍👍

You speak the truth. I'm so sick of meeting shy guys and guys who are scared of making the move (or, like you stated: too busy pitying themselves). The OP should take your words to heart.

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Cybii said:

👍👍👍👍👍

You speak the truth. I'm so sick of meeting shy guys and guys who are scared of making the move (or, like you stated: too busy pitying themselves). The OP should take your words to heart.

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JustSomePreMed said:

The "OP" wasn't who that reply was to.

Don't worry, I have no problem making the move. It's having the time to continue to make moves with the same person that's I'm having trouble with.

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Cybii said:

I really don't care to whom it was directed. The OP needed advice, and the guy I quoted had the best points in the thread IMHO.

As for making the moves continuously on the same person, I would say find someone else. I was hung up on a guy and kept trying to make a relationship work but it was a total waste of two years. Find someone who will appreciate you. Good luck! 🙂

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Cybii said:

I really don't care to whom it was directed. The OP needed advice, and the guy I quoted had the best points in the thread IMHO.

As for making the moves continuously on the same person, I would say find someone else. I was hung up on a guy and kept trying to make a relationship work but it was a total waste of two years. Find someone who will appreciate you. Good luck! 🙂

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psipsina said:

I think that 2nd year can be sooooooo lonely. I switched classes (had to take a year off and have a bunch of surgeries, fun) so the handful of good friends I'd made during 1st year were all 3rd years imprisoned in the hospital and I was left to try and make friends with a class that had already bonded. To make matters worse I don't do well when I go to class or study in groups so I had even less chances to make new friends. I'm married and have friends outside of medschool in this city but I spent most of 2nd year at home at my desk with only my cat to keep me company which got pretty depressing after a while. I just tried to get lost in the material and have faith that 3rd year would be better, which it is 🙂 Even when I haven't known anyone who's rotating with me on a service I've had alot of fun with my colleagues, even when I don't particularly like my patients the challenge of interacting with them has kept me entertained. I've gotten to know kids in my class I would have never befriended otherwise and had some great laughs. Its not easy by any means and you have to adjust mentally to perpetually being lost and confused (as you switch rotations as soon as you get comfortable) but compared to the isolation of 2nd year its great. There is a light at the end of your tunnel, just remind yourself how close you are to that goal and keep truckin'.

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