Out of Place...

Okay... I'm sure there are others out there like me, but not many at my school it seems. So far, medical school has been really disappointing. I haven't meshed with anyone in my class and I feel like a complete outsider. I went into this with a good attitude, optimistic about meeting new and interesting people in medical school. Now, I can't hardly wait to get the hell out of there everyday. I don't have a single friend who is in medical school. My gross anatomy lab dissection group is pretty nice but I feel like they just kind of tolerate me. I've tried to figure out why I'm not meshing... I'm a normal guy... I wear jeans and t-shirts to class, I don't ask stupid questions (or any questions for that matter) in class... I'm the farthest thing from a gunner there is (I only study the weekend before exams for crying out loud... and I do okay, I won't be honoring anything but I'm in no danger of failing)... honestly the only thing I can think of that would set me a part is that I'm openly gay... and I mean, I thought people in medical school would be intelligent and open minded enough that it wouldn't be an issue. And I didn't think it was, no one has said anything to me... or to my face anyway.

I just wanted to put a post out there to see if anyone else in my position would want to be pen pals/moral support for each other. I mean, does anyone else feel like you just don't belong in medical school, socially speaking? I almost wish I could do this as an independent study... and more and more that seems to be what I am doing. Regardless I am dissapointed, as I'd hoped to make some friends here.

Sorry to hear about your situation. All I can say is hang in there, you have worked so hard to get to MS, so don't let others determine your future. I am sure there is another student in your class, who wouldn't mind being a friend. Study the class, and find someone that shares your interests and strike a conversation with them, that doesn't involve studying or medical school. Start from there and see what happens. If you still feel alone, feel free to PM me here on SDN (I am addicted to this site) for a pep talk.

Goodluck 🙂

OmahaMX80 said:

Okay... I'm sure there are others out there like me, but not many at my school it seems. So far, medical school has been really disappointing. I haven't meshed with anyone in my class and I feel like a complete outsider. I went into this with a good attitude, optimistic about meeting new and interesting people in medical school. Now, I can't hardly wait to get the hell out of there everyday. I don't have a single friend who is in medical school. My gross anatomy lab dissection group is pretty nice but I feel like they just kind of tolerate me. I've tried to figure out why I'm not meshing... I'm a normal guy... I wear jeans and t-shirts to class, I don't ask stupid questions (or any questions for that matter) in class... I'm the farthest thing from a gunner there is (I only study the weekend before exams for crying out loud... and I do okay, I won't be honoring anything but I'm in no danger of failing)... honestly the only thing I can think of that would set me a part is that I'm openly gay... and I mean, I thought people in medical school would be intelligent and open minded enough that it wouldn't be an issue. And I didn't think it was, no one has said anything to me... or to my face anyway.

I just wanted to put a post out there to see if anyone else in my position would want to be pen pals/moral support for each other. I mean, does anyone else feel like you just don't belong in medical school, socially speaking? I almost wish I could do this as an independent study... and more and more that seems to be what I am doing. Regardless I am dissapointed, as I'd hoped to make some friends here.

Click to expand...

Well I can tell you right now that I like you based soley on your avatar. I've never been great about meeting new people and certainly have been the odd man out more times than I'd like to admit too, but I've been lucky to come across a few that are really caring though in my class, no one really close like I had in undergrad. I hate to think that you are excluded based on your homosexuality. Is your school pretty conservative? Mine is and I don't know of anyone in it who is openly gay but I imagine there are. ONe guy I noticed had a 'straight but not narrow' pin on his bag and he is well liked but people do tend to treat an opinion like that differently than someone who is actually gay. My school has a lambda alliance for all gay, lesbian, transgender and their supporters. You should check if yours does and maybe you can find some people there who are more willing to get to know you before they make a judgement. I hope things get better for you. Keep trying and don't give up.

Oh and feel free to PM me if you want to vent or want an online friend (I know its not as good as one in person). 🙂

Sorry to hear about that. A few thoughts...

Do you sit in the same place for lecture every day? Do you study in the same place every day?
During the first few weeks of class, I never sat next to the same people twice. That way I got a survey of the classmates that would mesh with my personality best. After those first couple of weeks, I chose a particular location to stay in, and made sure to say my morning hellos and good byes; trying to be friendly but not nosey.

Are there intramural sports you can sign up for?
I signed up for volleyball, which resulted in me being placed on a team. That helped, as it builds comraderie with your classmates. As a result, I have many friends, and too many aquaintences to count. Sadly, the Phys Assnt students kick all our asses... 👎

Are there positions for student council, officer or club memberships available?
Being involved in these activities is not only great for the CV, but can also be a great excuse to introduce your self to random people.

Personally, I'm somewhat of a shy secluded person, but make up for it by putting my self out there--forcefully. Doing so has put me in embarassing moments from time to time, but has on the whole been beneficial for me.

As for your situation, yeah, it might be partially the homosexuality thing. Some people can't wrap their mind around it, or at least don't want to. Sadly that hurts two people, yourself and them for never knowing you. I hope that this is not so much the case, as it might more likely be the fact that your not the over-achiever that other people tend to present in medical school.

Best of luck,

Regards,

-Salty

also it's good to try and meet people outside of the med school bubble. i don't know how big your city is, or what activities you're interested in, but you may be able to find a sports club/team, a reading group, an activist group, etc. around town. i got involved in some local activites here and these people help me stay grounded and keep me sane when the stresses of med school get me down.

if you really want to meet people in school, try cross-class groups (with m1/2/3/4s and not just your class) in areas that interest you - community service, social organizations, international opportunities, specialty interest groups, cultural organizations, volunteer opportunities, etc. the more you expand the circle of people to whom you are exposed, the more likely you are to meet someone with whom you mesh.

sorry to hear you're having a difficult time. hope things get better for you. 🙂

GoodMonkey said:

also it's good to try and meet people outside of the med school bubble.

Click to expand...

quoting for emphasis. I find for me its downright unhealthy for me to hang out exclusively with people who are stressing out at the same time that I would be. Its time to branch out.

Try this website:
http://www.glsenomaha.org/

This might be a place to meet like-minded people and to get involved in some ECs outside of medicine.

👍

OmahaMX80 said:

Okay... I'm sure there are others out there like me, but not many at my school it seems. So far, medical school has been really disappointing. I haven't meshed with anyone in my class and I feel like a complete outsider. I went into this with a good attitude, optimistic about meeting new and interesting people in medical school. Now, I can't hardly wait to get the hell out of there everyday. I don't have a single friend who is in medical school. My gross anatomy lab dissection group is pretty nice but I feel like they just kind of tolerate me. I've tried to figure out why I'm not meshing... I'm a normal guy... I wear jeans and t-shirts to class, I don't ask stupid questions (or any questions for that matter) in class... I'm the farthest thing from a gunner there is (I only study the weekend before exams for crying out loud... and I do okay, I won't be honoring anything but I'm in no danger of failing)... honestly the only thing I can think of that would set me a part is that I'm openly gay... and I mean, I thought people in medical school would be intelligent and open minded enough that it wouldn't be an issue. And I didn't think it was, no one has said anything to me... or to my face anyway.

I just wanted to put a post out there to see if anyone else in my position would want to be pen pals/moral support for each other. I mean, does anyone else feel like you just don't belong in medical school, socially speaking? I almost wish I could do this as an independent study... and more and more that seems to be what I am doing. Regardless I am dissapointed, as I'd hoped to make some friends here.

Click to expand...

🙁 I would be friends with you.
Sounds like its your surroundings and not you. But are you sure that other people aren't feeling the same way that you are? I mean, does it seem like you are the only one not getting invited to picnics, or is it possibly that the entire student body just taking a long time to get to know each other?

Who knows whats up with America. I'm so dissapointed that all 11 states voted yes on the marriage ammendment.

Anyways, my advice is to try and keep reaching out-sometimes it takes a while to find a good friend. Meanwhile throw yourself into your studies, and just think "its temporary".

Hang in there! You sound like someone I'd be thrilled to befriend. I'm sad to hear that you're having a hard time getting things rolling with your classmates, and I do hope it improves for you.

I find that with my classmates, I also sometimes feel "odd man out." It might be because I have a dog so I have to be at home sometimes instead of studying or hanging out at school; it might be because I work hard during the week so I can travel out of town every weekend (a social double-whammy, really). So I know it can be hard to make connections, for any number of reasons.

Getting involved is a great suggestion... A lot of the people I know well are those who I met by rowing on our crew team, which is open to all class years. I also met some of my friends by going to get-to-know-you parties before school, when everybody still got along with everybody. As these first few months have gone by, it's gotten harder to meet new people because we've settled into "our" seats in lecture hall, personal study routines, etc. But I've found that when I stick my neck out and say, "hey, I feel like a dork for not having met you so late in the year, but aren't you in my class?" I tend to get good responses, and find that a lot of my classmates are still trying to meet each other, too.

I do hope that there isn't any kind of bigotry among your classmates. (The passage of the same-sex marriage bans is enough to make a person wonder, I admit.) In my class at Albany Med, it seems like each person is remarkably accepting of each other's differences. We're all here slogging through the same work, stuck in the same relatively blah city, dealing with the same professors and trying to get the same good grades...why wouldn't every one of us be happy to have friends in the process? Hopefully you'll find that your classmates really do feel the same.

Best of luck to you - I'm confident things will get better.

(Note to self: don't go to nebraska....check)

Sorry to hear all that, dude. Sometimes, I feel like a bit of an outsider in my class too. I've found that going to the parties, bars, etc. does help; I have too much of a tendency to just hang out at the house, play video games, sleep, etc.

Clubs? Man, I freaking loved intramurals and social clubs in undergrad. I'm sure your school must have some. Just throw yourself into something, be overly enthusiastic and positive. Everyone loves positive.

Good luck! And barring good luck, try to transfer! 😉 j/k

I hear you. The people in my class seem pretty cool, but it's been tough for me too to assimilate, and I don't consider myself to be a shy person. I guess the problem is that when I'm in class, I just naturally tend to keep to myself, which probably isn't the best thing to do. Wish I could give you some advice, but I guess I'm still trying to figure things out. Just letting you know that you're not alone in how you feel.

SaltySqueegee said:

Personally, I'm somewhat of a shy secluded person, but make up for it by putting my self out there--forcefully. Doing so has put me in embarassing moments from time to time, but has on the whole been beneficial for me.

Click to expand...

that's the best advice I've read. I'm a shy person too and the onyl way to fight it is just to make yourself go to social events and talk to people and be nice to people. Maybe you do that, I don't know. But from my experience it takes a conscious effort. I came in to med school worried about leaving all of my undergrad friends and having to make new friends. But it's been easier than I thought because I've accepted people as friends and been nice to them. It's hard to explain.

clubs/sports is always a nice way to meet people.

I feel you. In general, I've found out that med school has turned off many of my better characteristics, such as being socialable. After hours of lectures, I just want to get out ASAP, and I believe that many of your classmates may feel the same way. As the only out gay person in my class, I am surprised to find few homphobic classmates, all males; most of my female classmates are great and supportive. If you can not find your scene, why don't you create one? I've invited a few classmates for get-togethers outside of the school setting and it is a good way to know them outside the cschool setting. Just remember,it all too shall pass. After 2 years you will not see most of your classmates consistently once clerkships start. And time flies. Hang in there,

Z.

The problem with medical school is that everybody is busy studying all the time rather than going out of their way to meet people. My school doesn't have intramural sports so here's some other ways to meet people.

Ask around to see if there are any study groups you can join. Start by asking people in your anatomy group. After doing a few all nighters together, you will naturally click.

Does your school have a lounge? Hang out there more often and you'll meet people quick.

Most importantly, take the initiative. I used to make trips to visit people at their residence just to keep in touch. Now, I am so inundated with work that my lack of a social life doesn't seem like a big deal anymore.

I have gotten to the point that I can't stand my classmates any longer, I plan on embracing my inner Schizoid. 👍

OmahaMX80 said:

Okay... I've tried to figure out why I'm not meshing... I'm a normal guy... honestly the only thing I can think of that would set me a part is that I'm openly gay...

Click to expand...

Let me preface this by saying I am not bigoted and I have gay friends.

You are not normal, at least not in society's norm. You are openly gay. What does that mean? Are you talking about your sexuality often? Many people are intimidated by that; it makes them feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. It would be wonderful if everyone was totally accepting of all types of people but let's face it; this is the real world and many people aren't. If you want people to appreciate you as yourself and be friends with you, i highly suggest you do not let your sexuality and sexual orientation define you. let people ge tto know you as a normal guy who likes the same things as they do: music, sports, medicine, etc. Once they like you as a person and are your friends, any decent individual will not drop you when they find out you are gay. But don't go into a new school promoting your homosexuality and expect to be welcome in open arms. if that's the way you insist on being try making frienmds with girls or homosexuals. Most straight people detest gays flaunting their homosexuality.

Go to the gym, but don't just hop on the treadmill with your ipod, take a yoga class, or kickboxing class or something interactive and social. Often the same people will be at those things over and over, and soon you'll get to know faces and be able to strike up a conversation.

If you can, study at a busy Starbucks on a Saturday afternoon (that place is a man magnet, trust me 😉 ) you might not get that much work done but you might meet someone.

Everyone's advice has been good, join clubs and you'll click with likeminded people eventually, but I do appreciate how hard it can be, especially now that cliques have been formed.

As an openly gay med student myself I can only tell you to hang in there. I am now a 4th yr, and while my classmates didn't take to me right away either, over the years I've developed friendships with many of them. It really boils down to the fact that many of these people have never experienced being around somebody "different" than they are so they have never developed the coping skills.

While I'm sure you already know the following pearls I think I will reiterate them anyway...

1. Don't push your "gayness" on others.... be yourself and respect their opinions. Opinions can change over time with growth of experience.
2. Be sure to have friends outside of med school. A support network is just as important as having a good knowlege base.
3. Get to know faculty. There are probably gay faculty who, while not publicly "out" may be a good source of support.

Good luck.

P.S. Feel free to email me at any time.

Psycho Doctor said:

You are not normal, at least not in society's norm.

Click to expand...

This statement is not normal- especially coming from someone who supposedly wants to take care of people for a living. Get a grip, chief.

To the OP: I'm not gay but I could have written your post word for word. I am also a solid "type B" personality in an ocean of "type A" med students. You'll find that med school will make a lot more sense when you start working with patients. I suspect your personality and capacity for empathy will give you an advantage in the real world just as they might make things seem difficult now. I've given up on trying to fit in with the hyper-focused academic bumblebees that make up so much of the med school universe. Just be a good person, be friendly, and you'll find your niche. You're not alone.

I also go to school in Omaha, and we are going out for drinks this afternoon if you want to do something fun. 🙂

In all seriousness, I'm sorry to hear you are feeling like you're having a hard time fitting in. I think we all went through some of that when medical school started, at least to a certain extent. New situations give us all that feeling of being an outsider at times, and perhaps being gay makes you feel even more so that way at times, although I would hope that people are not purposely making you feel left out for that reason.

I think several people have given you good advice re: joining some fun groups/clubs/IM teams/whatnot, but I would also offer a different perspective: you don't have to be friends with everyone in your class. I think it is sort of a forced social situation, and while I can understand feeling lonely & hoping to make new friends, perhaps you could consider just maintaining some pleasant accquaintances amongst your classmates & keep doing your best to meet new, fun, friendly people via other avenues. Non-medical folk are a breath of fresh air after all the studying you are doing.

Hang in there, you do sound like a nice normal guy, and you will find some other nice normal people to socialize with. Above all I would recommend finding or maintaining whatever you do for fun & exercise. It's so fun to meet people who share your interests, and they won't want to talk about Anatomy which puts them a step ahead of your classmates!

Take care. Do feel free to send me a message if you would like to chat, I am a fellow Omahan & a third year student so we have some things in common! 🙂
Shannon

Unfortunately you make a good point, some folks irrespective of how "book" smart they might be have simply not been exposed to gay people in the past. This does not brand them as horrible people-closeminded and ignorant is more like it. The OP might need to tone down his orientation that is assuming you had been flaunting it in the past without having to change who you are. It might be tough at the beginning but with time your classmates are sure to turn around. If not F**k them, who need them anyway. GoodLuck 👍

Psycho Doctor said:

Let me preface this by saying I am not bigoted and I have gay friends.

You are not normal, at least not in society's norm. You are openly gay. What does that mean? Are you talking about your sexuality often? Many people are intimidated by that; it makes them feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. It would be wonderful if everyone was totally accepting of all types of people but let's face it; this is the real world and many people aren't. If you want people to appreciate you as yourself and be friends with you, i highly suggest you do not let your sexuality and sexual orientation define you. let people ge tto know you as a normal guy who likes the same things as they do: music, sports, medicine, etc. Once they like you as a person and are your friends, any decent individual will not drop you when they find out you are gay. But don't go into a new school promoting your homosexuality and expect to be welcome in open arms. if that's the way you insist on being try making frienmds with girls or homosexuals. Most straight people detest gays flaunting their homosexuality.

Click to expand...

Enkindu said:

Just be a good person, be friendly, and you'll find your niche. You're not alone.

Click to expand...

I can't agree more with this. While I have a few good friends in my class I don't feel like at this point during first year I have great friends and at times it can get pretty depressing. I was so used to being around my really close college friends all the time when I was at Brandeis, and to get to med school and feel so alone a lot of the time was really a hard transition. But things have gotten better. So don't worry, you certainly aren't alone in this. There are many many people who feel like you. Just remember to stay true to who you are, be friendly, and eventually things should become easier. Best of luck

Enkindu said:

This statement is not normal- especially coming from someone who supposedly wants to take care of people for a living. Get a grip, chief.

Click to expand...

Sometimes the truth is bitter, but sometimes in order to progress you have to face the truth. It may not always be sensitive or fair or something we like but it's reality. Unfortunately I do have a grip, i can see it objectively from both sides. Those whose emotions are so tied up in it can't. The vact tha ti have counseled people in a similar predicament makes me believe i can sensitively care for people.

you'll find your crowd, don't worry. i remember i went through the same thing when med school started, and to this day i'm really only good friends with a few people in my class. now, i can tolerate others in my class up to a certain point, then i want to just hit some of the other people with a baseball bat heavily wrapped in towels (you'll learn about this in path next year).

Psycho Doctor said:

Let me preface this by saying I am not bigoted and I have gay friends...........But don't go into a new school promoting your homosexuality and expect to be welcome in open arms. if that's the way you insist on being try making frienmds with girls or homosexuals. Most straight people detest gays flaunting their homosexuality.

Click to expand...

Your word choice and phrasing betray your true feelings. Most straight people do not have a problem with gays expressing themselves. Most homophobes do. You are right when you suggest that some people in med school might have a problem with homosexuality, but luckily most med students are intelligent and compassionate, and therefore not homophobic. Get a grip, chief.

Well, I've never been to the midwest, but I know that some areas of the country are more used to different people than others. That said, there are reasons why so many gay people move to the bigger coastal cities.

Still, you're a nice person and you're as good as anyone - you'll find a few peeps who like you and don't really care about the gay thing. I think it's a big challenge to just be yourself, hold your head high and keep going. Eventually, you'll notice certain people are consistently friendly, or smile at you. These are the people I usually look for. I don't need a whole passel of peeps to be friends with, I just need a few good buddies I can relax with in/after class. And in med school I noticed so far that it has been a real shakedown of tough personality stuff, people's push-shove behaviour that maybe is how a big group of people get's to know each other. People who were really NASTY to me in the begining are now being friendly and smiley.

Who can predict? I try and be polite and careful as I pick my way through the friendship minefield that can be med school. You WILL find some decent buds, but don't "expect" to, in other words, let go of the expectation that 'I must find some friends,' and eventually some nice ones will appear.

Also, go hang out in the ugrad library/campus!!

👍

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. But just to pipe in you did notice you are in the midwest, right. I mean the only way those simple hard-working folks could be convinced that the george Bush regime has their best interests is that they are deeply afraid of all things non-white and not "normal."
And being gay is just not in line with their sense of right and wrong and unfortunately you will meet with little compassion in that cultural circumstance. I left the south because of similar reasons and had to disown a bigotted mid-western grandmother because she didn't like the fact that I was going to marry a black woman, so I feel you to the extent that I'm able. I hope that your time there goes quickly, and that you are able to schedule some away rotations, like here in frisco where people will let you be who you are to a greater extent. Good luck--Ben.

Psycho Doctor said:

Let me preface this by saying I am not bigoted and I have gay friends.

You are not normal, at least not in society's norm. You are openly gay. What does that mean? Are you talking about your sexuality often? Many people are intimidated by that; it makes them feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. It would be wonderful if everyone was totally accepting of all types of people but let's face it; this is the real world and many people aren't. If you want people to appreciate you as yourself and be friends with you, i highly suggest you do not let your sexuality and sexual orientation define you. let people ge tto know you as a normal guy who likes the same things as they do: music, sports, medicine, etc. Once they like you as a person and are your friends, any decent individual will not drop you when they find out you are gay. But don't go into a new school promoting your homosexuality and expect to be welcome in open arms. if that's the way you insist on being try making frienmds with girls or homosexuals. Most straight people detest gays flaunting their homosexuality.

Click to expand...

Let me preface my reply by saying I am not bigoted and I have ******ed friends.

You are not normal, at least not in society's norm. You are openly ******ed. What does that mean? Are you talking about your mental ******ation often? Many people are intimidated by that; it makes them feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. It would be wonderful if everyone was totally accepting of all types of people but let's face it; this is the real world and many people aren't. If you want people to appreciate you as yourself and be friends with you, i highly suggest you do not let your mental ******ation define you. let people ge tto know you as a normal guy who likes the same things as they do: music, sports, medicine, measuring the angle of their foreheads, etc. Once they like you as a person and are your friends, any decent individual will not drop you when they find out you are ******ed. But don't go into a new school promoting your mental ******ation and expect to be welcome in open arms. if that's the way you insist on being try making frienmds with fags or ******s. Most normocephalic people detest ******s flaunting their fetal alcohol traits.

Psycho Doctor said:

Let me preface this by saying I am not bigoted and I have gay friends.

You are not normal, at least not in society's norm. You are openly gay. What does that mean? Are you talking about your sexuality often? Many people are intimidated by that; it makes them feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. It would be wonderful if everyone was totally accepting of all types of people but let's face it; this is the real world and many people aren't. If you want people to appreciate you as yourself and be friends with you, i highly suggest you do not let your sexuality and sexual orientation define you. let people ge tto know you as a normal guy who likes the same things as they do: music, sports, medicine, etc. Once they like you as a person and are your friends, any decent individual will not drop you when they find out you are gay. But don't go into a new school promoting your homosexuality and expect to be welcome in open arms. if that's the way you insist on being try making frienmds with girls or homosexuals. Most straight people detest gays flaunting their homosexuality.

Click to expand...

Let me preface this reply by saying I am not bigoted and I have black friends.

You are not normal, at least not in society's norm. You are openly black. What does that mean? Are you talking about your blackness often? Many people are intimidated by that; it makes them feel uncomfortable and embarrassed (small-penised). It would be wonderful if everyone was totally accepting of all types of people but let's face it; this is the real world and many people aren't. If you want people to appreciate you as yourself and be friends with you, i highly suggest you do not let your blackness and negritude define you. let people ge tto know you as a normal guy who likes the same things as they do: music, sports, medicine, gang-banging etc. Once they like you as a person and are your friends, any decent individual will not drop you when they find out you are black. But don't go into a new school promoting your blackness and expect to be welcome in open arms. if that's the way you insist on being try making frienmds with orientals or negroes. Most white people detest blacks flaunting their negritude.

Psycho Doctor said:

Let me preface this by saying I am not bigoted and I have gay friends.

You are not normal, at least not in society's norm. You are openly gay. What does that mean? Are you talking about your sexuality often? Many people are intimidated by that; it makes them feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. It would be wonderful if everyone was totally accepting of all types of people but let's face it; this is the real world and many people aren't. If you want people to appreciate you as yourself and be friends with you, i highly suggest you do not let your sexuality and sexual orientation define you. let people ge tto know you as a normal guy who likes the same things as they do: music, sports, medicine, etc. Once they like you as a person and are your friends, any decent individual will not drop you when they find out you are gay. But don't go into a new school promoting your homosexuality and expect to be welcome in open arms. if that's the way you insist on being try making frienmds with girls or homosexuals. Most straight people detest gays flaunting their homosexuality.

Click to expand...

Let me preface this reply by saying I am not bigoted and I have women friends.

You are not normal, at least not in society's norm. You are openly female. What does that mean? Are you talking about your sexuality often? Many people are intimidated by that; it makes them feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. It would be wonderful if everyone was totally accepting of all types of people but let's face it; this is the real world and many people aren't. If you want people to appreciate you as yourself and be friends with you, i highly suggest you do not let your reproductive organ define you. let people ge tto know you as a normal gal who likes the same things as they do: music, sports, medicine, dildo-shopping etc. Once they like you as a person and are your friends, any decent individual will not drop you when they find out you sport a vagina between your legs. But don't go into a new school promoting your x chromosome and expect to be welcome in open arms. if that's the way you insist on being try making frienmds with other girls or homosexuals. Most men detest women flaunting their vaginas.

Hey Barry, this is so funny it made me laugh right out loud!


Which is a nice help, considering we have all six of our exams in the next week and my poor little brain is weeping from fatigue.

OP, I wish you the best. While I do not agree with you choices personally, I do believe they are your choices. I have had several gay friends and actually enjoy a perspective different than my own. I am probably a minority in the straight world. Tolerance for many minority positions can be hard to find, especially in the middle of the country.

What would make me uncomfortable is pushing your life choices on me. I reserve the right to disagree, although that doesn't mean we cannot be friends. I disagree with many of my friends on certain topics. My brother is a flaming liberal but we just have fun messing with each others positions on politics.

You've gotten some very good social advice above. I think EC organizations would help you find some friendly people in your community.

Barry Otter said:

Most men detest women flaunting their vaginas.

Click to expand...

Is this true?


😉

skypilot said:

Is this true?


😉

Click to expand...

My posts above are 100% satirical. I love women who flaunt their vaginas. And I love sluts.

Seriously, though, telling a gay person not to "act gay", whatever that means, is just as meaningless as telling a woman not to act like a woman, or telling a black person to stop acting black. I really sympathize with the OP.

Psycho Doctor said:

If you want people to appreciate you as yourself and be friends with you, i highly suggest you do not let your sexuality and sexual orientation define you. let people ge tto know you as a normal guy who likes the same things as they do: music, sports, medicine, etc. Once they like you as a person and are your friends, any decent individual will not drop you when they find out you are gay. But don't go into a new school promoting your homosexuality and expect to be welcome in open arms. if that's the way you insist on being try making frienmds with girls or homosexuals. Most straight people detest gays flaunting their homosexuality.

Click to expand...

Um...well...that's an interesting post. But, I think that it would be useful to remember that the poor guy just said that he was "openly gay." I don't think that that means that he walked into class on the first day dressed like RuPaul, waving a gigantic pride flag, and went up to all his classmates and said, "Hi, my name is ****, and I'm GAY!!!! How about you?" I also doubt that being gay is his only topic of conversation, and I seriously doubt that he hits on his male classmates. Finally, by being "openly gay," that does NOT imply that he walks around singing Broadway musicals all the time, while wearing a giant tiara. So let's stop telling him to stop "flaunting his homosexuality," and try and give him some useful advice, okay?

To OmahaMX, it's interesting (and disconcerting) that you said that you're having problems meshing, because, based on previous posts, it looks like you've lived in Omaha for a good long time. Were you out in college, and did you have problems meshing in college? If not, then it might be the fact that you're in a much smaller environment. I don't know how big Creighton is, but I found it hard to go from a big state school to med school (even though there are over 200 people in my class). There just might be fewer "options" for you to go for in terms of friends. I think the other problem is that the way that you often develop friendships in college can be very different from the way that you develop friendships in med school. In college, I developed some of my closest friendships by going out with them to dinner and the movies and coffeeshops together - "hanging out" with them, in other words. In med school, I've developed some of my closest friendships with people by being elbow deep in formaldehyde with them. (Pleasant sounding, I know.) Or else, I've become really close to people by studying with them for hours at a time, but not by just hanging out with them.

I guess what I'm getting at is that it seems, to me at least, that the reason why you feel so isolated is that you're not throwing yourself into the whole med school experience. In your post, it seemed like you were trying to downplay how hard you're working, just like a lot of people do in college - you only study before the weekend, you're definitely not a gunner, etc. Maybe your mindset is different from the mindsets of your classmates? Many of my friends and I study 4-5 hours a day, and we're totally unapologetic about it. We probably sound like the biggest gunners in the world (or the world's biggest whiners), but it's a source of common ground for us. We support each other, commiserate, and, poof, we're pretty good friends who could definitely go to bars together. (As if we had the time, but still.) If someone said "Well, I only study a day or two before the exam," we probably wouldn't have anything to say to that person. (I'd probably just glare at you enviously.) So maybe it's just a question of adjusting to a different kind of social environment, which you can do with a little time.

Furthermore, for me, I made a lot of new friends at the post-exam party, nearly a month into school. There's something about that gigantic release of tension after your first med school exam that brings people really close together. Does your school have something similar?

I really think that you're just adjusting to a different social environment in med school than in college. I had that problem - I hated how I'd only see my friends in a classroom/library related environment, and that we'd never hang out in a coffeeshop like I did in college. The schedule is different, so the ways that you develop friendships is different.

I sincerely hope that you do find a group of people that you really feel comfortable with, though. Med school is so hard, you need friends to help support you and pull you through. Plus, this is where you start networking and meeting future colleagues and start thinking as part of a medical "team." I hope that some of what I've said is helpful, although it might not be - I'm basing my comments on what things are like at my school, where I'm truly lucky to have great classmates (not just 1st years, but 2nd, 3rd, and 4th years as well) who I genuinely like. I hope that you find the same thing at your school. Feel free to PM me if you like. Good luck.

P.S. How do you know that your anatomy lab group "only tolerates" you? How can you be sure?

Hola OmahaMX80,
Just read your post today, and I found it quite interesting because I'm a member of your class. I'm sorry to hear that you feel you're an outsider and it's too bad that you can't wait to get out of school everyday. However, I really have to question your assumption that you don't have a single friend because you're openly gay. Your classmates are neither closeminded nor ignorant, quite the opposite in fact. I've met few groups of people with more openminded and accepting individuals. I do have to say that I don't know everyone in our class yet, but I've at least participated in pleasant conversation with a good majority of them. A lot of this activity has happened with students in my small group sessions, but I've also talked to people involved in IM sports and at several of the multitude of after school social events that have been arranged throughout the semester. I have to honestly say that I don't recall seeing you at any of these. I may be wrong, but the fact that I don't remember you there might say something about why you're having trouble getting to know anyone. Talk to your classmates, hang out with us when we're out and about, especially at organized events. Again, I may have that all backwards but I seriously doubt that you couldn't find plenty of people around here that would look past the fact that you're gay, and probably quite a few that wouldn't have to look past it at all because they honestly don't care one way or another what your sexual orientation is. All that being said, to everyone else who has read this thread, I hope that the opinions of one person about his classmates will not bias your view of the midwest in general and Creighton University in particular. There are a lot of amazing people in both places.

Wow! what a jerk. As you are the only one posting here that is offensive, I'd say you are the one that is not normal. Grow up!

Psycho Doctor said:

Let me preface this by saying I am not bigoted and I have gay friends.

You are not normal, at least not in society's norm. You are openly gay. What does that mean? Are you talking about your sexuality often? Many people are intimidated by that; it makes them feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. It would be wonderful if everyone was totally accepting of all types of people but let's face it; this is the real world and many people aren't. If you want people to appreciate you as yourself and be friends with you, i highly suggest you do not let your sexuality and sexual orientation define you. let people ge tto know you as a normal guy who likes the same things as they do: music, sports, medicine, etc. Once they like you as a person and are your friends, any decent individual will not drop you when they find out you are gay. But don't go into a new school promoting your homosexuality and expect to be welcome in open arms. if that's the way you insist on being try making frienmds with girls or homosexuals. Most straight people detest gays flaunting their homosexuality.

Click to expand...

DocNickRiviera said:

Hola OmahaMX80,
Just read your post today, and I found it quite interesting because I'm a member of your class. I'm sorry to hear that you feel you're an outsider and it's too bad that you can't wait to get out of school everyday. However, I really have to question your assumption that you don't have a single friend because you're openly gay. Your classmates are neither closeminded nor ignorant, quite the opposite in fact. I've met few groups of people with more openminded and accepting individuals. I do have to say that I don't know everyone in our class yet, but I've at least participated in pleasant conversation with a good majority of them. A lot of this activity has happened with students in my small group sessions, but I've also talked to people involved in IM sports and at several of the multitude of after school social events that have been arranged throughout the semester. I have to honestly say that I don't recall seeing you at any of these. I may be wrong, but the fact that I don't remember you there might say something about why you're having trouble getting to know anyone. Talk to your classmates, hang out with us when we're out and about, especially at organized events. Again, I may have that all backwards but I seriously doubt that you couldn't find plenty of people around here that would look past the fact that you're gay, and probably quite a few that wouldn't have to look past it at all because they honestly don't care one way or another what your sexual orientation is. All that being said, to everyone else who has read this thread, I hope that the opinions of one person about his classmates will not bias your view of the midwest in general and Creighton University in particular. There are a lot of amazing people in both places.

Click to expand...

Your class giggles alot... that is all.

If there's anyone that doesn't get what Barry did, I'm sorry for their future patients.
That was great, and demonstrated the point perfectly.
I'm in a midwest school too, and I'd say it's not the most tolerant place. It's not that creighton, or anywhere else is bad (or the people there for that matter), but it's just hard for people to understand what they've never experienced. Ignorance may be bliss, but it won't make you a better doctor. I urge everyone to open there eyes, and try to experience things from another person's point of view. In my experience, the people that say discriminatory attitudes don't exist, have never experienced them directed at his or her person.
On the other hand, I do agree that you should get out and try to meet people. Yes, it's scary, I'm a reformed wall-flower, but it really pays off in the end for both your personal well-being, and your career.
👍