A ~300 lb guy was lying on his bed. He was so heavy that he needed a chain pulley thing above his bed to reposition himself.
All of a sudden, he needed to take a crap. He was screaming for a nurse - "Nurse! Help! I've got diarrhea! Bedpan!"
I come rushing in, like a fool. He tells me to get a bedpan right away. I rush into his bathroom, grab the bedpan, and run back to his bed. He's pulling up on his chain pulley thingy, trying to get on his side so I can put the bedpan underneath him, but he can't get himself twisted all the way. So I push on his right buttock, like a fool, to try and turn his hip so I can wedge this bedpan underneath him.
And then it happened.
He exploded.
I was too late.
There was S*** everywhere.