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UncleChester78 said:
I have an aunt who is very nice to me except for some of what she says.

For years she has told me that I don't "really want to be a doctor."

I am not sure why this is. I think it could be that she worked in financial aid at a prominent medical school for many years, that her husband is a prominent surgeon, etc.

There are many reasons. I am upset because I feel that this has really hurt my self-esteem.

What do you all think? Why would she tell me this even when she knows that this has been my dream for years and years?
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The spouse of a busy surgeon may appreciate that said surgeon has little social life and many stressors/lots of lawsuits and is not very available to other family members. Maybe she wants a more balanced lifestyle for you than what she's observed. Of course, there are other specialties, but her experience is one-sided.

Why not ask her?
 
UncleChester78 said:
Hey guys,

I have an aunt who is very nice to me except for some of what she says.

For years she has told me that I don't "really want to be a doctor."

I am not sure why this is. I think it could be that she worked in financial aid at a prominent medical school for many years, that her husband is a prominent surgeon, etc.

There are many reasons. I am upset because I feel that this has really hurt my self-esteem.

What do you all think? Why would she tell me this even when she knows that this has been my dream for years and years?
Click to expand...
Maybe she feels that her husband isn't very available for her and doesn't spend much time with family. She is clearly biased if this is the case, because there are ALL types of doctors; those that love their job, those that hate it, those that do it for the money, those that are simply altruistic, those that spend many hours in the hospital per week, those who just work part time etc etc etc.
 
DTP said:
Almost my entire family is made up of doctors and surgeons. Every single person strongly suggests dentistry instead, lol.

They overall enjoy their jobs and are able to live extremely comfortable lives because of it. That being said, also say they don't have enough time for family, have higher liability, and are essentially always getting texts or calls from patients and have to go in if anything goes wrong.

Additionally, they found med school to take away too much from having a "life." This is coming from 5 different specialties; but I still won't listen 🙂 People say this stuff because they care, not to hurt your self esteem. But you want what you want, and in the end your family will (hopefully) respect that
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That being said, the grass is always greener on the other side applies here too. If they suddenly became disabled in some way and had to work a low paying office job, I think they would have a different perspective.
 
UncleChester78 said:
Hey guys,

I have an aunt who is very nice to me except for some of what she says.

For years she has told me that I don't "really want to be a doctor."

I am not sure why this is. I think it could be that she worked in financial aid at a prominent medical school for many years, that her husband is a prominent surgeon, etc.

There are many reasons. I am upset because I feel that this has really hurt my self-esteem.

What do you all think? Why would she tell me this even when she knows that this has been my dream for years and years?
Click to expand...
I would discard her tbh. Although, she knows you better than everyone on this forum but so long as it's not your mom, dad or significant other; i wouldnt pay heed to it.
 
As mentioned by others here, there are different types of doctors. None of my family members are doctors, but a good friend of mine has a dad as a doctor and he works part-time, makes plenty of money, and has a lot of time to spare. It all depends on what specialty you do I think.
 
Uh...I'm sure your aunt is super nice and probably hot, but who gives a **** what she thinks? Is she going to live your life for you? Do your due diligence and figure out if this path is a worthwhile one, because as awesome as medicine can be, a lot of kind of blows. And there is always an avalanche of garbage that you're going to have to deal with. Loving medicine helps overcome that. You gotta do you baby. Cheers.
 
TypeADissection said:
.I'm sure your aunt is super nice and probably hot
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Not all aunts look like this:

8AB21CB4-1789-47FC-BE75-13F203920C18.jpeg
 
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This is why I want to get into emergency med. Sure the timing of the hours suck, but ur never on call and can always have hours to spare for your family.
 
21Rush12 said:
I mean my aunt has been saying for years that aluminum foil will give me Alzheimer’s...I just smile and say “mmhmm” and go home to my shiny leftovers.
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Hello, I formally request that, should you develop Alzheimer's later in life (my sympathies btw), you come back and update us ... immediately ... before you forget. Thanks.
 
Oso said:
Hello, I formally request that, should you develop Alzheimer's later in life (my sympathies btw), you come back and update us ... immediately ... before you forget. Thanks.
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I may have Alzheimer’s, but at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s.
 
Kingsmen2018 said:
This is why I want to get into emergency med. Sure the timing of the hours suck, but ur never on call and can always have hours to spare for your family.
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EM still has its drudgery and limitations, beyond timing and hours.
 
UncleChester78 said:
Hey guys,

I have an aunt who is very nice to me except for some of what she says.

For years she has told me that I don't "really want to be a doctor."

I am not sure why this is. I think it could be that she worked in financial aid at a prominent medical school for many years, that her husband is a prominent surgeon, etc.

There are many reasons. I am upset because I feel that this has really hurt my self-esteem.

What do you all think? Why would she tell me this even when she knows that this has been my dream for years and years?
Click to expand...
Seek mental health treatment if this hurts your self esteem
 
I think it is important to note your Uncle chose to work that much, it isn't like he was a med student or resident. You don't have to choose to work that amount or go into a super busy specialty.
 
OP, I also have an aunt that’s been telling me my whole life how hard and stressful it is to be a doctor. I’ve also had friends of my parents absolutely beg me not to go into obgyn, a specialty I’m interested in, because their daughter is an obgyn and hates it. People tell you this stuff because they care about you and want you to have a good life that you enjoy. But just because it a certain specialty or even the field of medicine didn’t work out for one person doesn’t mean it’ll be the same for everyone. Just recognize that it’s said out of love and go on with your life. One person’s opinion won’t change what you do with your life anyway.
 
All people view the world through their own lens. "You don't want" generally means "They wouldn't want". Think of a job that other people love doing that you would hate. Whatever that job is, the person who loves it either gets more out of the good or is less affected by the bad aspects of that job than you are.

For example, most people dislike paperwork, but some people HATE paperwork. For them, it's a serious negative and not just an inconvenience. There's no way she could know you well enough to be able to make that call about becoming a doctor, especially considering the wide variation in physician jobs available.

TL;DR: She has no idea what she's talking about because it's impossible for her to know you that well.
 
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sb247 said:
Seek mental health treatment if this hurts your self esteem
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Lol, the canned wisdom of SDN. That phrase has gone from usage by adcoms on desperate WAMC posts to being copy pasted in threads where users complain about their feelings.
 
raf1ki said:
Lol, the canned wisdom of SDN. That phrase has gone from usage by adcoms on desperate WAMC posts to being copy pasted in threads where users complain about their feelings.
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I was being quite serious...do with it what you will
 
UncleChester78 said:
Hey guys,

I have an aunt who is very nice to me except for some of what she says.

For years she has told me that I don't "really want to be a doctor."

I am not sure why this is. I think it could be that she worked in financial aid at a prominent medical school for many years, that her husband is a prominent surgeon, etc.

There are many reasons. I am upset because I feel that this has really hurt my self-esteem.

What do you all think? Why would she tell me this even when she knows that this has been my dream for years and years?
Click to expand...

Millennialism

Your aunt is entitled to her opinions. Could be driven by dislike or disrespect of you, could be driven by pessimism of long run prospects for medicine, could be busting your balls playfully. Her opinion might be stupid and is probably based on very limited information.

Are your stats and ECs on course? Are you sure in your heart you want to be an MD? If so, then what Aunt Crabby has to say about your dreams is meaningless.

If you let a flippant remark get to your core self esteem, then brother, you have a lot bigger issues than med school.
 
raf1ki said:
Lol, the canned wisdom of SDN. That phrase has gone from usage by adcoms on desperate WAMC posts to being copy pasted in threads where users complain about their feelings.
Click to expand...

If canned wisdom bothers you, then I recommend seeking treatment from a mental health professional. Medical school is a pressure cooker, and I've seen it break even the most brilliant and strong-willed students. Resolve your issues with wisdom-canning ASAP, because things are only going to get tougher after you matriculate.
 
UncleChester78 said:
Hey guys,

I have an aunt who is very nice to me except for some of what she says.

For years she has told me that I don't "really want to be a doctor."

I am not sure why this is. I think it could be that she worked in financial aid at a prominent medical school for many years, that her husband is a prominent surgeon, etc.

There are many reasons. I am upset because I feel that this has really hurt my self-esteem.

What do you all think? Why would she tell me this even when she knows that this has been my dream for years and years?
Click to expand...

No offense intended at all so in the nicest way I can say it: grow a pair. She shouldn’t be able to hurt your self esteem and if she is, that’s worth working on. Plenty of people in the future are gonna offer their useless two cents on your life choices. As long as you know what you’re doing and why, you’ll be fine


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
UncleChester78 said:
Hey guys,

I have an aunt who is very nice to me except for some of what she says.

For years she has told me that I don't "really want to be a doctor."

I am not sure why this is. I think it could be that she worked in financial aid at a prominent medical school for many years, that her husband is a prominent surgeon, etc.

There are many reasons. I am upset because I feel that this has really hurt my self-esteem.

What do you all think? Why would she tell me this even when she knows that this has been my dream for years and years?
Click to expand...
Lazy unsuccessful people always try to discourage others from being ambitious and leading a productive life. I've gotten this many times be it "oh don't join the Army", or "You spend too much time in the gym, you're getting to skinny/muscular, don't go to nursing school, so and so said its a horrible career, etc. But its funny how once you achieve, they come to you and want loans, advice, etc. Generally, I don't accept advice unless its someone I personally want to emulate. General rule, I don't care how much someone "knows", if you're built like a baby back b***h, I'm not going to take fitness advice from you. And this metaphor goes for all areas of life. I'm not going to take financial advice from a loser who can't manage their own money.
 
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Have you ever her asked her the reasons why she thinks this, or just she just make this as a blanket statement without detail? She may be observing some things about you which you might not be noticing and which would be helpful for you to look at. Or, she may just be playing the role of an uniformed, unhelpful family member (of which there are a lot!!!).
 
"I am upset because I feel that this has really hurt my self-esteem."

Holy crap, grow up.
 
I think she is telling you this because she has personally experienced what it is like to be affected by the sometimes all-consuming nature of medicine. With her spouse being a surgeon, they likely don't have as much time together as she wants. I think she doesn't want a similar situation to happen to you. Also, she worked in financial aid at a medical school. She likely saw some students fall apart while she was working in that position. She just cares about you, though she might not be showing it in the best possible way.

On the other hand, I understand where you're coming from. While I was shadowing a doc, he also had a med student with him, and she told me that I should just consider being an NP or PA instead. I have nothing against NPs or PAs, but it is a little disheartening to have somebody doing what you want to do almost say you aren't cut out for it. Don't let it get to you. If being a doctor is what you really want, then don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I didn't let what that student say change how I felt about myself or what I was doing, and I'm in the middle of the current application cycle right now. Good luck with whatever field of medicine you end up going into 👍
 
Believe me. I know what it’s like for lots of people to tell you that this field ain’t for you. Honestly, it’s fine. They can think whatever they want. If you wanna be a doctor, then that’s what you have to be.

I know it’s disheartening and it hurts even more from someone whose opinion you value so highly but just fight through it. If you know this is for you and you want it, then go for it
 
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