Sorry if this is a rant, I'm feeling more than a little dejected right now and could really use some encouragement. I'm nontrad, first-gen from a family with an unsteady income and my college career was complicated. I decided to become a doctor when I was 18 years old. I just turned 36 and realized I have been trying to get into medical school for almost 20 years, more than half my life. This cycle is my fourth, and so far, I have nothing to show for it, not even a single lousy II.
I have tried everything, from shadowing to research to SMP to a DIY postbac to applying to DO schools. Now I'm staring down the prospect of applying a fifth time, and wondering - is it worth it? But if not, what else would I do? I'm not sure I even have any marketable skills. My only professional qualification is a Master's from an SMP. For the past 10 years I have just been bouncing between jobs like tech and scribe and clinical research assistant where all my coworkers are kids fresh out of college. I've made so many sacrifices to be able to do this, I am hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, I'm not married and not pursuing a serious relationship, I make enough in my job to get by, but certainly not enough to pay down this debt, let alone support a family or retire. I feel like the only way I can ever get out of this hole is by becoming a doctor. It is devastating that none of this effort seems to have paid off. But still, I can't imagine myself doing anything else with my life other than being a doctor. Help???
EDIT: Link to stats
I have tried everything, from shadowing to research to SMP to a DIY postbac to applying to DO schools. Now I'm staring down the prospect of applying a fifth time, and wondering - is it worth it? But if not, what else would I do? I'm not sure I even have any marketable skills. My only professional qualification is a Master's from an SMP. For the past 10 years I have just been bouncing between jobs like tech and scribe and clinical research assistant where all my coworkers are kids fresh out of college. I've made so many sacrifices to be able to do this, I am hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, I'm not married and not pursuing a serious relationship, I make enough in my job to get by, but certainly not enough to pay down this debt, let alone support a family or retire. I feel like the only way I can ever get out of this hole is by becoming a doctor. It is devastating that none of this effort seems to have paid off. But still, I can't imagine myself doing anything else with my life other than being a doctor. Help???
EDIT: Link to stats
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