2006-2007 Personal Statement Help Thread

[BOBODR]

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BOBODR: I am entering medical school (not 100% sure yet where). One of my strengths is writing and got several compliments on my PS from interviewers this year. Got an S on the MCAT section, and did very well in all English type classes. Will have a lot of time especially in June/July as I will be jobless and waiting for school to start. I had people help me last year and found it to be a huge benefit so I want to do the same. I will proofread for some grammar, butwill mostly look at content.

 

[prana_md]

Hello! I am a non-traditional applicant headed for the University of Pittsburgh in the fall. Before I went back to school for post-bacc, I worked as a journalist for several years in the Bay Area. I've applied to medical school twice and journalism school twice! I learned a lot during both processes, and I'd love to pass on any experience, for what it's worth, to the class of '11. Best of luck!

 

[Gerrymandering]

Hello,

I'm a janitor for St. Louis University with nothing to do these days but sit on my behind and read a bunch of stories. I don't have a degree, any medical experience or a life! I'm a regular old guy with a poor job scraping desks and mopping floors. Drop me a PM with your personal statement if you're interested. You won't be disappointed! I usually do a good job editing/critiquing/criticizing papers...

Serious Part:

I'm a regular Pre-med at University of Kansas with stellar writing and english skills. If someone would like some suggestions (editing if you request it) on how to make their paper better, I would gladly help you if you submit me a kind PM along with your personal statement!

edit: I am not sure if my credentials match yours, but surely you won't be disappointed with my efforts to help you!

 

[mustangsally65]

I've updated the list, which can be found on the first page of this thread. Thanks to everyone who's offered to help so far!

 

[Dr.Who?]

dr.who? - officially retiring, g'luck to those i've been able to help!

 

[gujuDoc]

Gujudoc: I'm not yet applying to medical school, but I do have personal experience helping others critique their personal statements. Although I didn't get to them all, I did manage to help quite a few students last year both on SDN and off. I'm pretty good at getting the words to flow once an initial draft is made and looking over the grammar aspects too. Although it takes me a while to get started, I tend to do pretty well once I get my thoughts flowing and usually get compliments by professors on any essays I have to write like when I was in English class or any exit requirement liberal arts courses and what not. So feel free to add me to the list.

 

[gujuDoc]

I too am having a bit of trouble starting my PS. My biggest EC has been research experiences which have driven me to have a real desire to continue research in my years in medical school, so I want to emphasize that, but I have a feeling that I should really emphasize my clinical experiences more than the research since that may appeal to the adcom better. However, nothing in my clinical experiences has been profoundly life changing making me say "thats exactly why I want to be a physician" which is often what I see in examples of "excellent" PS's, the clinical experiences have more or less kept me from being scared away, giving me some realistic insights into what a variety of different kinds of doctors do each day, interaction with patients who despite their respective illnesses are still very human and otherwise normal (other than Alzheimer pts. in the nursing home I volunteered at), and an exposure to the world of hospitals and other health care facilities that has made me more comfortable and less awkward in medical situations. Any thoughts into how I can at least outline my PS into something that won't appear sappy and unheartfelt?????

I always feel that when I write these kind of essays, it sounds forced and insincere, despite my true feelings.

Ok the first thing I want to say is that you don't need a life changing experience or some big event that changed your life in a moment to discuss medicine. For instance, my former MCAT instructor who is now a MS 2 wrote about how his first thoughts of medicine were acompanied by the sounds of noises from diarrhea of a patient he was volunteering with and how he felt awkward about it. Then he later went on into the progressive maturation process he underwent to show how he learned the real meaning of what real world medicine is and displayed examples of his continuing interest in medicine as he matured through the years to realize that it wasn't so glamorous. Send me a PM and I'll send it to you to see what I'm talking about.

Tomorrowgirl,
Send me a PM with your email address and I'll send my former teacher's PS to you as well. he gave it out to his class that year to see for an example.

 

[gujuDoc]

Please dont flame me on this, but I had a question(seriously)? I don't know how to phrase it, but should I be concerned about sending my PS on SDN to someone I dont know(I understand most of you are here to help genuinely, but just in case what if just one person is not honest?) I am not trying to criticize anyone, but just want to be satisfied before I send anyone my PS. Thanks all!

Don't worry, you can trust me. I've helped critique a few people's last year who have since been accepted. Also, most of the other people here have been accepted so I don't think they'll be sabotaging your application by sending it to them.


However, I wouldn't make a thread devoted to a PS and post it on an open thread. PMing those who are willing to edit it, however, is not an issue. Last year no such issues occurred and quite well people got some really good feedback that helped them out quite a bit from various posters.

 

[potato51]

potato51 - I'll be starting med school in the fall at UT Southwestern. I graduated with a science degree some years ago and have been doing research ever since. But as I work with a lot of foreign grads and docs, I've been asked for help (a ton of it) in writing personal and business letters, including a successful scholarship essay that landed one of them a huge award. And a recommendation letter I wrote for immigration services helped a friend get a green card. I can't admit to being the most creative person out there, but I'm very good with grammar and the technicals of writing, as well as overall flow.

 

[Filly]

i am entering medical school this fall and i would love to help someone with their personal statement if they want help. my scores were very average and i got accepted at over 5 schools. i think the personal statement (and your secondary essays) is/are as important as your gpa and mcat score. i was an athlete in college and came from a different country and both of those topics were covered in my statement and essays. if you want me to look over your essays, please pm me and i will gladly do that (weezer230). Thanks and good luck.

weezer230,
I would be glad of some help in editing my essay if you have the time to spare. My writing score was an N and I'm hoping to offset that problem with a hopefully stellar PS. Would you please be able to critique it?
Thanks
Filly

 

[8744]

Panda Bear, MD

I will read your pathetic, self-aggrandizing abortion of a personal statement and rip it the proverbial new rectum...that is just as soon as I finish wincing from your cringe-inducing prose explaining how you just want to hep' the underserved like yer' stinking childhood hero Ghandi.

I'm being serious here. I went back and read my AMCAS essay and fought back tears of shame that I had inflicted such a piece of crap on anybody. It was truly vomit inducing and I believe that most of yours are as well. If you want a harsh but honest appraisal from a guy who got into both medical schools where he applied and matched into Emergency Medicine this year with perhaps the world's shortest and most succint ERAS personal statement then I'm your guy. If you're a mewling little girly-man (or girly-girl) who insists on keeping the part about lactating so you could feed abandoned children in Brazil then find somebody else.

Now, you can go to my blog and see that I am a decent enough writer. You can search through my posts and see this as well. PM me your sickening little essay and I'll edit it down or at least make some decent suggestions as to how you can write an essay you will be proud of four year from now and not furtively burn against the possibility of it ever falling into the hands of your friends.

 

[sara3426]

I'm applying this application cycle and I just wanted to say thank you to everyone on this thread who offered to help people... it's really kind of you guys! i'll probably be sending my PS to one of you soon... probably not pandamd though, cause he's a scary mofo 😎

 

[8744]

I'm applying this application cycle and I just wanted to say thank you to everyone on this thread who offered to help people... it's really kind of you guys! i'll probably be sending my PS to one of you soon... probably not pandamd though, cause he's a scary mofo 😎

Seriously, even though I'm being serious about the contents of most personal statements that I have read, maybe you need somebody to look at it who will not kiss your ass. Maybe I'm just from a different generation than the typical admission comittee member but I think I can spot a cliche or stilted phrasing as well as anybody.

 

[8744]

And I'm not sparing myself, either. Some of my early SDN posts are truly cringe-worthy. I like to think that I have honed my writing ability over the years here on SDN.

 

[gujuDoc]

I'm applying this application cycle and I just wanted to say thank you to everyone on this thread who offered to help people... it's really kind of you guys! i'll probably be sending my PS to one of you soon... probably not pandamd though, cause he's a scary mofo 😎

Not to clutter this thread up or anything, but Pandabear speaks a proverbial truth. There are a lot of premeds who do all this to play the game that adcoms want you to play. Many premeds will do all these things like go to 3rd world countries and do clinical work there and then make up some sappy story about how it changed them when deep down they are the same naive and selfish person who just wants to get into a prestigious school and have a name for themselves and not really care about the work they were doing.


Actually I think it was g3pro who recently posted a very good article about this sort of thing in one of the volunteering vs. shadowing debates we were having.

 

[gujuDoc]

Panda Bear, MD

I will read your pathetic, self-aggrandizing abortion of a personal statement and rip it the provebial new rectum...that is just as soon as I finish wincing from your cringe-inducing prose explaining how you just want to hep' the underserved like yer' stinking childhood hero Ghandi.

I'm being serious here. I went back and read my AMCAS essay and fought back tears of shame that I had inflicted such a piece of crap on anybody. It was truly vomit inducing and I believe that most of yours are as well. If you want a harsh but honest appraisal from a guy who got into both medical schools where he applied and matched into Emergency Medicine this year with perhaps the world's shortest and most succint ERAS personal statement then I'm your guy. If you're a mewling little girly-man (or girly-girl) who insists on keeping the part about lactating so you could feed abandoned children in Brazil then find somebody else.

Now, you can go to my blog and see that I am a decent enough writer. You can search through my posts and see this as well. PM me your sickening little essay and I'll edit it down or at least make some decent suggestions as to how you can write an essay you will be proud of four year from now and not furtively burn against the possibility of it ever falling into the hands of your friends.

I just wanted to say that your blog rocks. I wish someone with your kind of insight would have advised me when I was younger.

 

[Mister Pie]

I'm most likely not applying this cycle (gotta get some clinical experience first and make sure I am ready to commit to this) but I still have to say... you're all beautiful people for volunteering your time to help everyone here out!

 

[Pkboi24]

Panda Bear, MD

I will read your pathetic, self-aggrandizing abortion of a personal statement and rip it the proverbial new rectum...that is just as soon as I finish wincing from your cringe-inducing prose explaining how you just want to hep' the underserved like yer' stinking childhood hero Ghandi.

I'm being serious here. I went back and read my AMCAS essay and fought back tears of shame that I had inflicted such a piece of crap on anybody. It was truly vomit inducing and I believe that most of yours are as well. If you want a harsh but honest appraisal from a guy who got into both medical schools where he applied and matched into Emergency Medicine this year with perhaps the world's shortest and most succint ERAS personal statement then I'm your guy. If you're a mewling little girly-man (or girly-girl) who insists on keeping the part about lactating so you could feed abandoned children in Brazil then find somebody else.

Now, you can go to my blog and see that I am a decent enough writer. You can search through my posts and see this as well. PM me your sickening little essay and I'll edit it down or at least make some decent suggestions as to how you can write an essay you will be proud of four year from now and not furtively burn against the possibility of it ever falling into the hands of your friends.

I'd send you my PS, but I'm afraid you would hit me.

 

[Severus]

Panda Bear, MD

I will read your pathetic, self-aggrandizing abortion of a personal statement and rip it the proverbial new rectum...that is just as soon as I finish wincing from your cringe-inducing prose explaining how you just want to hep' the underserved like yer' stinking childhood hero Ghandi.

I'm being serious here. I went back and read my AMCAS essay and fought back tears of shame that I had inflicted such a piece of crap on anybody. It was truly vomit inducing and I believe that most of yours are as well. If you want a harsh but honest appraisal from a guy who got into both medical schools where he applied and matched into Emergency Medicine this year with perhaps the world's shortest and most succint ERAS personal statement then I'm your guy. If you're a mewling little girly-man (or girly-girl) who insists on keeping the part about lactating so you could feed abandoned children in Brazil then find somebody else.

Maybe it's just me, but does anyone else find this "ad" sort of um.... hot? 😳

 

[Pkboi24]

Maybe it's just me, but does anyone else find this "ad" sort of um.... hot? 😳

I suppose, if you find perpetrators of domestic violence hot.

j/k

 

[gujuDoc]

I suppose, if you find perpetrators of domestic violence hot.

j/k

In all seriousness,

Panda just has a unique way of telling it like it is. I love reading his blog. He's soooooo to the point and tells it like it really is. No bars held back. And within it all, he still goes out of his way to give good advice in his blog about medical school admissions and experience.

 

[gujuDoc]

Not to clutter this thread up or anything, but Pandabear speaks a proverbial truth. There are a lot of premeds who do all this to play the game that adcoms want you to play. Many premeds will do all these things like go to 3rd world countries and do clinical work there and then make up some sappy story about how it changed them when deep down they are the same naive and selfish person who just wants to get into a prestigious school and have a name for themselves and not really care about the work they were doing.


Actually I think it was g3pro who recently posted a very good article about this sort of thing in one of the volunteering vs. shadowing debates we were having.

To make this point........I found G3pro's article.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38616

 

[blee]

blee: I'd love to help a few applicants with their PSs this year. I went through this lovely process last year, applied to 15 schools, and was accepted into five. I'm confident that my PS had a role in my acceptance, because my grades sure didn't.

Oh, yeah -- non-traditional, had an IT career for five years before quitting.

 

[vtucci]

Feel free to add me to the list--

non-trad, lawyer, legal writing professor at college level.

 

[happydays]

I won't be able to read any more PS's until June.

 

[clindor]

Hey guys. I was just thinking stupid thoughts today so bare with me. I was a cheerleader all four years of hs (captain and all that stuff lol). I was thinking that if I don't get in this time around I will change my ps drastically (my first was about a genetic cancer syndrome I have, but that's another story: http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=279208&highlight=health+struggles). I was thinking of maybe tying it together using the word "base". In cheerleading, you call the girls who hold other girls up "bases". Obviously there are bases and acids in chemistry. I have been doing genetics research for the last year so there are a lot of bases involved there as well. Hmm...how dorky is this? Let me know if you have anything else to tie in lol. 😛

 

[mustangsally65]

I've updated the list so far. I hope I didn't miss anyone.

clindor, I really don't know how to answer your question. Maybe it would be easier if you PMed some of us with your statement because I think it depends on how you write it. It might work great, or it might come off in a negative way and it's hard to tell from just a few sentences.

Good luck, though!

 

[clindor]

I haven't actually written it yet, this was just a passing thought. I'm not restarting my ps until after graduation...If you think there is actually potential for something there, that's all I'm wondering

 

[heyimnick]

The TMDSAS prompt states this:

"Explain your motivation to seek a career in MEDICINE. Discuss your philosophy of the medical profession and indicate your goals relevant to the profession."


I think I've failed to include addressing parts of the prompt in my PS, and instead just told my story about how I've done better as a post bacc than as an undergrad.

I think I'm confused with how to address 'philosophy' of the medical profession, as it seems rather vague, at least to me.

 

[Anastasis]

The TMDSAS prompt states this:

"Explain your motivation to seek a career in MEDICINE. Discuss your philosophy of the medical profession and indicate your goals relevant to the profession."


I think I've failed to include addressing parts of the prompt in my PS, and instead just told my story about how I've done better as a post bacc than as an undergrad.

I think I'm confused with how to address 'philosophy' of the medical profession, as it seems rather vague, at least to me.

Just realized I have a similar problem with current PS. Crap. Should I rewrite?

 

[clindor]

do you think they really pay attention to whether the prompt is properly addressed? I think as long as there is something in your ps to address everything in the prompt (even if it's only one sentence) you should be fine. I think the vagueness is what makes it not such a big deal if you don't strictly adhere to answering the prompt and only talking about things related directly to the prompt.

 

[heyimnick]

do you think they really pay attention to whether the prompt is properly addressed? I think as long as there is something in your ps to address everything in the prompt (even if it's only one sentence) you should be fine. I think the vagueness is what makes it not such a big deal if you don't strictly adhere to answering the prompt and only talking about things related directly to the prompt.

From what I gather, yes. My PS (if anyone would like to read it, let me know) was pretty solid and genuine, from what I've had several others tell me, but when I presented it to my advisor, he had serious misgivings because I had failed to address my motivation and goals for a career in medicine....instead, I had told a nice story of how I'd turned around my life as a post bacc, but hadn't addressed the key issue.


Having said that, you have to have a hook, or some semblance of originality to really grasp the adcoms attention with your PS. But an original essay,without addressing the prompt, isnt really worth beans. I think you have to satisfy both criteria. Again, that's just me. Anyone else that has a suggestion, go for it.

 

[clindor]

I didn't say that right. Yes, the prompt should be addressed. However, I am not going to hamper my semi creative efforts and make my ps a boring response to a vague question.

 

[mustangsally65]

The TMDSAS prompt states this:

"Explain your motivation to seek a career in MEDICINE. Discuss your philosophy of the medical profession and indicate your goals relevant to the profession."

Is anyone here who offered to read PSs a Texas resident who went through this process already? I just got an email about the Texas prompt and I really don't know how to address it since I'm not a TX resident.

Any advice would be appreciated! How do you guys recommend writing a PS for the TMDSAS?

 

[shoyt]

Hey guys. I took the MCAT in April and so I'll be writing my PS pretty soon. I was wondering if you could help with some ideas. My main experience with medicine was working as an intern in my dad's family practice office. I had tons of patient interactions because pretty much all I day all day was put patients into rooms, take their blood pressure, write down their symptoms, talk with them awhile.....I also ran basic diagnostic tests on patients (e.g., blood glucose tests, A1c's, lipid panels, nerve conduction studies). So should I just talk about working for my dad that summer and what I learned about medicine and how I enjoyed interacting with patients? Would I really need to talk about anything else or should that be my main focus. Also, what's the usual length for the AAMCS PS? Thanks alot for any help!

 

[gujuDoc]

Hey guys. I took the MCAT in April and so I'll be writing my PS pretty soon. I was wondering if you could help with some ideas. My main experience with medicine was working as an intern in my dad's family practice office. I had tons of patient interactions because pretty much all I day all day was put patients into rooms, take their blood pressure, write down their symptoms, talk with them awhile.....I also ran basic diagnostic tests on patients (e.g., blood glucose tests, A1c's, lipid panels, nerve conduction studies). So should I just talk about working for my dad that summer and what I learned about medicine and how I enjoyed interacting with patients? Would I really need to talk about anything else or should that be my main focus. Also, what's the usual length for the AAMCS PS? Thanks alot for any help!

Send me a PM with your email address. I'd like to email you something but would not like to say more in open.

 

[tomorrowgirl99]

I was wondering who I am supposed to contact to read my PS. I thought I was on the right track, but when I finished reading it, I hated it. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
🙂

 

[mustangsally65]

I was wondering who I am supposed to contact to read my PS. I thought I was on the right track, but when I finished reading it, I hated it. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
🙂

If you look on the first page of this thread there is a long list of people who have volunteered. There are descriptions about the peoples' qualifications, so just read through them and if a few sound like they would be helpful then send that person a PM.

 

[chilon85]

hi everyone,

I just wanted to say that I would be glad to look over personal statements as well. I am in the process of writing mine right now so I am in the mindset of editing and revising already. Let me know if anyone needs help.

 

[dopaminesurge]

Hey, I sort of missed this thread.

Great idea. I'm down. R on the writing section. I'm a reapplicant, and I don't think my PS was particularly good, but with that, I think I can tell you if you're making the same mistakes I made last year. Put me down. And get ready, some kids from the list, for mine. It's being PMd now.

 

[luckyme]

I was accepted to Havard Medical School last year. Later I was told by someone at the admission office that my PS was one of the best personal statements which they received last year.
I was accepted to 6 schools out of 12 schools I applied. I'm also lucky to have a mother who is a counselor at the university. She helped me a lot.
PM me if you need help.

 

[diosa428]

I don't know if this has been mentioned already, but PLEASE check out the Essay 101 link on the SDN homepage. There is a lot of good advice about what to include, what not to include and how to get started. There are also some sample essays. I found it very helpful last year.

 

[discus]

Just wanted to let you know, I'm also available to read personal statements. I'm starting medical school this Fall, and love reading/writing. If you need another person's opinion on your statement, feel free to PM me with your email address. I'll read mostly for content/flow. Good luck!

 

[haleyrockx]

If this question has been asked on this thread, then I must not have seen it so if it's redundant I'm sorry. For the PS, do we write it like an essay; ie: paragraphs with indents???
It seems like if you are limited to a certain amount of lines, then maybe don't use paragraphs because you would naturally space between them?? Or do they expect paragraph form with the space between paragraphs? If so, does that line count against your 62 line limit?
Can I indent the paragraph? Does the formatting let me do that??
I'm doing my rough draft in word so I don't know what formatting is allowed on the app. Anyone that has done this before know what can be done???
In case it matters, I'm referring to the TMDSAS PS.

 

[mustangsally65]

The AMCAS application doesn't allow for any formatting. No italics, no indents, just line breaks. So space your paragraphs out using the return key and you'll be okay.

Also, one important tip: Don't put two spaces after each period: You only need one and it will save you a few precious characters. 😀

 

[Thundrstorm]

Just a note since I'm getting lots of requests: I'm happy to help, but anyone who writes me this week should expect to wait a week to hear back with my comments. I've got several sdners I'm working with right now, and I'm out of town for a few days this weekend (to apartment hunt in my new city! yay!). So, anyway, feel free to send me your ps, but you've gotta give me a week to catch up.

 

[gujuDoc]

The AMCAS application doesn't allow for any formatting. No italics, no indents, just line breaks. So space your paragraphs out using the return key and you'll be okay.

Also, one important tip: Don't put two spaces after each period: You only need one and it will save you a few precious characters. 😀

Thanks for the info. This is good to know.

 

[shantster]

I don't know if this has been mentioned already, but PLEASE check out the Essay 101 link on the SDN homepage. There is a lot of good advice about what to include, what not to include and how to get started. There are also some sample essays. I found it very helpful last year.

Thanks for the tip. I've been staring at my computer trying to figure out where to start.

 

[hanjoko]

I've updated the list so far. I hope I didn't miss anyone.

clindor, I really don't know how to answer your question. Maybe it would be easier if you PMed some of us with your statement because I think it depends on how you write it. It might work great, or it might come off in a negative way and it's hard to tell from just a few sentences.

Good luck, though!

I am willing to help as well. I will be entering med school this coming fall (vanderbilt at least for now). I probably won't be able to help with the grammar since I am not good at that but otherwise, I think I can tell you pretty honestly what to write and what not to write. Just PM me for my email address and then I will get back to you within a day. I do not have MDapplicant profile but I have applied for a good number of schools and got several interviews so if you want to know about a specific school, I am happy to share my experience with you. Good luck, everyone! 🙂

 

[nosugrefneb]

Hi folks.

I'm happy to read over personal statements as well. Feel free to email yours to me at bdf-at-uchicago-dot-edu; I'm studying for boards at the moment and need all the distraction I can get my hands on. I can typically get back to you within a few hours. Or drop me a line on IM at nosugrefneb. Hot.

Also, this is probably one of those DUH statements, but I'll throw it out there anyway: Work really, really hard on these in general. This is the single part of your application that makes you really stand out from others. A poor personal statement won't necessarily screw you, but an amazing personal statement makes a huge impression on who you really are independent of your numbers. As someone who reads through a lot of interviewees' applications, I can definitely vouch for this; unless you have very unique ECs or perfect numbers, they all start to blend together and become very homogenous with all the other applicants'!

Ben