2007-2008 Write Your Own Rejection Letter Thread

Med School Insiders
This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.
bcat85

bcat85

Full Member
15+ Year Member
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
1,787
Reaction score
57
Members do not see this ad.
I saw this from previous years and it is hilarious, let's give it a shot. I'll start:

Dear bcat85,

Once this summer you made the call
To place our school above them all
You sat and wrote your application with pride
And we all read it and nearly died
Your MCAT is sad and your GPA too
And when we got to your EC's we all turned blue
You could not even stand a chance
If you won the Nobel Prize and learned to dance
The polka that is, while taking tests
And curing cancer of the breasts
Or birthing children in a foreign land
Finding their mothers and holding their hand
And giving your all so they could taste
A life worth living in a better place
Though we greatly appreciate your sweet cash
Next year's class will have to dash
To get the new stethescope that you bestowed
With your application fee we told you you owed
We will seek to educate for a better day
When applicants like you will stay away
And give up hope without any pass
Because you're rejected, so kiss our @#$

Sincerely,

The Admissions Committee
 
Dear amw0322,


Have fun in PA school


University of "your never getting in here"
 
dear nonesuchgirl,

no, really, c'mon...
you thought...
wow...

oops,
the adcom
 
bcat85 said:
I saw this from previous years and it is hilarious, let's give it a shot. I'll start:

Dear bcat85,

Once this summer you made the call
To place our school above them all
You sat and wrote your application with pride
And we all read it and nearly died
Your MCAT is sad and your GPA too
And when we got to your EC's we all turned blue
You could not even stand a chance
If you won the Nobel Prize and learned to dance
The polka that is, while taking tests
And curing cancer of the breasts
Or birthing children in a foreign land
Finding their mothers and holding their hand
And giving your all so they could taste
A life worth living in a better place
Though we greatly appreciate your sweet cash
Next year's class will have to dash
To get the new stethescope that you bestowed
With your application fee we told you you owed
We will seek to educate for a better day
When applicants like you will stay away
And give up hope without any pass
Because you're rejected, so kiss our @#$

Sincerely,

The Admissions Committee
Click to expand...
Just curious how long did it take you to write this. Its pretty good lol
 
Dear ________,

Thanks for playing. Try your luck next time, when you have more rupees.

Adcom
 
amwatts0322 said:
Just curious how long did it take you to write this. Its pretty good lol
Click to expand...

a while... it's thankgiving break... i had some free time.. and a couple rejection letters for ammunition
 
Dear Maxprime,

Sorry about encouraging you to apply - we were WAY off. We felt bad that we had already cashed the check, so included is the first 3 seasons of Family Guy to help cheer you up.

That's usually when I wake up and unconsciously hit send/receive a few dozen times before drifting back into sleep.
 
Dear Loser,

Due to the large admissions pool this year, there was not a space in our class. God, I love using that. I've been writing that since 1982 and no one's ever called me on it. Actually, we just hated you.

Sincerely,
Some Random Secretary
 
Dear _____________,

We're not really sorry and don't regret at all. And don't try again next year. You're rejected!
 
Dear ____,

Thanks for the new rims for my car. Looking forward to more gifts next year.

Sincerely,
Adcom
 
Dear Text,

Do not pass Go, do no collect a MD degree. In fact, you still owe us $50 because your check bounced (and we'll take cash this time). Thanks.

-Adcom
 
Dear Aaj117,

Occassionally, when we read a file, we cannot wait to meet with that applicant and get to speak with them one on one. Don't get too excited, yours was not one of those files. In fact, after reading yours we decided to up the application fee, because we felt we should have been better compensated for such a task.

Sincerely,
the adcom
 
What I really want is a rejection in letter in pictures. Picture of Adcom seriously considering my application, followed by picture or two of them laughing hysterically, then a picture of them shredding it or using it to wipe their arse, followed by more pictures of them laughing. I wouldn't even be mad...
 
Dear Applicant,

CONGRATULATIONS!! you have been rejected.
 
Dear applicant,

:beat:

The Admissions Committee
 
Dear Jay,

We have decided to reduce our class size by one seat this year, it was yours.

From,
DrunkWithPower
 
Dear Jay,

This is only a reminder for the annual "Bludgeoning of your Spirit" that is scheduled for May 15. Please place on your refrigerator so you do not forget.

Can't wait to see you there!

ADCOMS
 
Dear BG,

We regret to inform you that our medical school is being shut down. If it attracts applicants such as yourself, there is no reason to go on. May you rot in hell.

Admission Committee
 
Dear applicant,

You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

-Adcom
 
Dear Applicant

Upon viewing your public* facebook picture album titled "**** drunk throwin d's party", we request that you return our acceptance letter and forfeit your acceptance rights.

Have a nice strife.

-Adcom

*Authorization to view your facebook profile was granted by Facebook Inc.
 
Dear MDRus

We were about to send you a letter of acceptance when we did our final check, which includes a review of your SDN posts. Unfortunately, your crude attempts at humor repulsed us and we have decided not to offer you a position in the Class of 2012.

Please do not try to contact us. We have obtained a restraining order.

Regards,

Everyman School of Medicine
 
Dear BG,

Without any regret, I must report that the Committe on Admissions has completed its selection of the class entering September 2008 and has not been able to offer you a place.

We were most grateful to have received applications from so many students with excellent intellectual and personal qualities. As you know, the admission to our school is extremely competitive. This year, 5600 students applied for 5599 places in the first year class at our medical school. As you can see from these figures, not everybody could be admitted.

We would like to especially express our appreciation for your patience over this admission season. After all, you applied on day one and was rejected a day before school starts.

We thank you for applying to our school. Rest assured that your application fee is not wasted as we have already applied it towards a scholarship for other applicants, all of whom are receiving a full ride.

Because of your "acheivements," it is our hope that you will be able to find fulfillment in another UNRELATED field. You have many fine characteristics, but unfortunately none of them are suited for medicine. I am fully aware that these words can do little to assuage your disappointment. Therefore, you will save yourself some trouble in the future if you come to your senses and give up on medicine.

Sincerely,

Dr. No
 
Dear Aynsl156,

We are elated to inform you that you were not selected for further consideration in our entering class this year. Normally, deciding which applicantions to continue reviewing is a difficult task, as we receive more qualified applicants than we can shake a stick at. Fortunately for us, yours was not one of those application. From the first nauseatingly saccharine sentence of your personal statement, to the last wince-inducing comma splice in your secondary essay, we knew that you were not the one for us. Thank you for making it clear that you were not meant to be allowed to interact with people. I mean, that hideous photo you sent us? Who would want to stare into that ugly mug while incapacitated and unable to run away? You'd probably raise our mortality rate just by rotating through a service. In conclusion, we hope you have a successful career as a non-doctor. May we suggest sewage treatment plant worker?

Very Sincerely,
The Adcom
 
Dear ymnCheetos,

Now you say you're lonely
You cry the whole night thorough
Well, you can cry me a river, cry me a river

Sorry chief,

The Adcom
 
Dear paradocs,

We regret to inform you that you are overqualified for our school. Get a lower MCAT, become an Alaskan resident, and apply next year.

Committee who really knows best
 
Dear Dr OCD,

After careful consideration of your applications and making you spend a couple hundred dollars coming to our interview, we just wanted to say how delightful it was to realize that you are not worthy of acceptance to our school. May we suggest our nursing school to you or perhaps a Masters in Nutrition?

Best,

Application Committee from Heaven
 
Dear applicant,
We were confused why we recieved your application when it obviously belonged in the applicant pool for the open janitorial position at our medical school. As such we have forwarded it to them but also noted that you were too stupid to correctly address your correspondence. Therefore we consider it highly unlikely you'll even receive consideration for that position.

PS if you do somehow happen to get the job can you clean the bathroom on the second floor?
 
theWestVillage said:
Dear applicant,
We were confused why we recieved your application when it obviously belonged in the applicant pool for the open janitorial position at our medical school. As such we have forwarded it to them but also noted that you were too stupid to correctly address your correspondence. Therefore we consider it highly unlikely you'll even receive consideration for that position.

PS if you do somehow happen to get the job can you clean the bathroom on the second floor?
Click to expand...


Guffaw!
 
"We're sorry RogerWilco, but the princess is in another Med School.

______ School of Medicine Admissions"


That doesn't even make any sense.
 
Dear Pickles,
We are positive that the news we are about to deliver will make your day. Congratulations! You have the stuff it takes to become a doctor. We were very impressed by your grades, standardized test scores, and resume. You rock. Unfortunately, there were other applicants who rocked just a little bit more than you, so we cannot offer you a spot in our class at this time. The good news is, we are placing you on our waitlist. This is not a rejection. Our waitlist is tiered, however, and your application has just been thrown...ahem...filed in the ninth circle of hell. Good luck in your future endeavors. This is not a rejection.

**Hugs**
Adcom

P.S. We repeat, this is not a rejection.
 
Dear nycfella,

Uh...we're sorry you didn't get in...but...uh...yeah, yeah, no.

adcom.
 
Dear Vihsadas,
It is the policy of this school of medicine to never smash anyone's dreams. Therefore, we are not rejecting you, we are allowing you to take the same classes as medical students, get the same training as them, and experience all the same sights and sounds as a medical student by enrolling in our SMP program! Please note, this offer does not include a diploma or permission to take the USMLEs, but we will offer to consider you for admission next year! The most exciting part of this offer is that you only have to pay 1.5 times the cost of normal tuition! Thank you for your interest, and we hope to see you on campus next year.
 
Dear Amwatts,
While your stats are well above our average,we have to tell ya.
We took one look at your secondary picture, and

EWWWWW!!! H*** NO!

Adcom
 
Wouldn't it be cool it rejection letters were like those cards that play music when you open them?

Dear Pickles,

**Game over music from super mario bros.**

~Adcom


I don't know what this guy is referring to, but I think the last statement applies to this situation as well:
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nacAcpg7QWE[/YOUTUBE]
 
Dear Admiral Ackbar,

Although your extra curricular activities are quite impressive, in particular, participating in the destruction of the Death Star and the commanding of a rebellion frigate, we regret to inform you that we have already met our quota for interstellar students as we reserve the majority of our seats for residents of Earth.
 
Admiral Ackbar said:
Dear Admiral Ackbar,

Although your extra curricular activities are quite impressive, in particular, participating in the destruction of the Death Star and the commanding of a rebellion frigate, we regret to inform you that we have already met our quota for interstellar students as we reserve the majority of our seats for residents of Earth.
Click to expand...


Dear Admiral Ackbar,
We thought this might be useful in your future endeavors.
MR_Obi-Wan-FX.jpg

Cheers,
Adcom
​
 
Dear Vihsadas,
We hope you weren't serious, but thanks for the $95 anyway. Please, apply again next year so we can take another $95 from you.

Sincerely,
Adcom, aka doctors you will never meet.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

A
SDN Article: How to Write Your Medical School Interview
Replies
0
Views
729
Autumn Lockett
A
M
Letter of Rec Writer Ghosting Me
Replies
5
Views
1K
mmmedical
M
G
Certiphi Background Check — Procuring My Own Copy
Replies
1
Views
156
Mr.Smile12
Mr.Smile12
E
Questions about Letter of Interest vs. Update Letter
Replies
1
Views
478
Goro
Goro
bencal30000
Late Recommendation Letter
Replies
11
Views
402
Med Ed
Med Ed
Top