or very stressed. I'm dating & living with a 3rd year med student. He's a very easy-going person and handles stress relatively well. (i.e. Didn't freak out in preparing for MCAT or Step 1). But, the long hours at the hospital is finally taking a toll on him. He can hardly stay awake past 8 p.m., complains about back pains (he's only 28!), and has pretty much lost all interest in sex. What I am having difficulty coping with is that I had expected him to go through this by the time he hits internship/residency, not during his rotation in med school. I have no intention of breaking up with him, so I would really appreciate some words of advice as to how to be supportive of him without losing my patience or sanity. (BTW, I've suggested that perhaps he should see a therapist for depression and a chiropractor for back pains, but he totally dismisses my advice b/c he *knows* there's nothing they can do for him. For someone who studies medicine, he has very little faith in what doctors can do for him.)
3rd Year Med Student depressed...
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I just want to say that this sort of thing is totally normal for a third-year med student. Some of the rotations you do third year are almost as tough as your schedule as an intern, and many MS3's get depressed or burned-out at some point during the year. Maybe his next rotation will be better? Back pains can come from standing up all day in surgery, or alternatively from sitting too much. Not much you can do about the standing during surgery but good shoes help--if he doesn't have a pair of Danskos already he should get them, they're the best shoes I've ever found for when you're going to be on your feet all day long. Also, is he getting enough sleep? This may be impossible for him to do, but if he's not getting enouch sleep that could definitely contribute to or even cause the depression, in which case more sleep might be the answer instead of meds. If you really think he's depressed though keep urging him to see a psychiatrist. I don't know what to suggest in terms of how you can be supportive....just try to be understanding and don't give him a hard time about being tired and stressed. Little things like doing a load of laundry when he's really stretched for time would probably be appreciated too. Good luck! It's a long road, but 4th year is much better so I hear.
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This may seem minor, but I think that a little bit of exercise may help relieve his tension. His diet and sleep are also probably being challenged. It may be difficult for him to notice the strain he is under right now.
You may be interested in reading this thread, 3rd year Burnout
You may be interested in reading this thread, 3rd year Burnout
Thanks for directing me to the link. It's comforting to know that my boyfriend is not the only one going through the MS3 slump. It appears to me that the general concensus is that things do get better next year. So, hopefully my celibacy will end in a couple of weeks? Feeling a little like a desperate housewife these days... 
NYC said:
Hey, it looks like all these medical students suffer from serious depression and serious ego problems. I am the husband of a first year medical student and am successful and highly educated myself, but my wife lately seems to be having ego problem and is suffering from severe depression. She claims that she is fine and declines seeing a psychologist. She has become very arrogant lately and she feels mercy for everyone in her family and my family. She even seems to look down on me because I am not a medical student (I never had ANY interest in the medical field) ! Everyone is tired of her lately. Even her own sister and father hates her and stopped talking to her. She talks about divorce these days, and then again cries thinking about it because she never saw it coming. I love her and being a mature person, I totally understand the depression she is going through, but looks like if this is how she is in the first year, it will get worse over time. At times, I think of seeking a divorce myself, can't take it anymore. But then again, I really know she is a wonderful person and all these are happening because of the evil medical school! I have been reading a lot of messages on the forum and I can see its a common problem with all medical students! I don't know what to do myself!
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To HUBBY123....
Go with her to a counselling session at the school. We don't know the whole story... it's always easier if you would go with your wife to a counselling session. Take time and hold her hand while she's going through medical school. Treat medical students as if they are very spoiled little kids, then you'll sleep easier. Hope this helps.
Go with her to a counselling session at the school. We don't know the whole story... it's always easier if you would go with your wife to a counselling session. Take time and hold her hand while she's going through medical school. Treat medical students as if they are very spoiled little kids, then you'll sleep easier. Hope this helps.
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NYC said:
I just wanted to share my experience. My boyfriend gets stressed very easily, and in those occasions he suffers horrible back pains (literally stays on the floor sometimes for even days at the time) and has trouble sleeping. He spends a lot of money on chiropractors/acupuncturists and none of it really helps - the pain only goes away when the stress factor goes away. Same with sleeping - no tablets can help, he only sleeps when he is relaxed.
I know exactly what you mean - I am wide awake, ready to go out and he's tired/hurting.... Sex drive? forget it
.... But, at the end, I understand it's all much more difficult for him (HE is in pain. He is exhausted) than for me. I try to be supportive. I try to offer some relaxing time. I try not to add to his stress. He's at a make it or break it period for his careeer now (he's doing his postdoc in immunology), and he didn't really have these problems before, so I really think that once he can see his future more clearly ahead of him, he will not be as stressed.....I hope....
I know I didn't offer great advice, but at least you can see there's other people in the same situation as you
Feel free to PM me. Best of luck to both of you,
E
