Apr 4, 2010
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I'm a Soldier who met another HOOAH Soldier of the opposite gender at OBLC ~9months ago. We exchanged facebook messages and then about a month ago that Soldier came to visit me. We drank. We had a heart to heart and exchanged some personal info. But nothing sexual happened. Now, we're exchanging periodic emails and talking on the phone about twice a week. We've talked about marriage and weddings and children. But nothing has "happened"?

I can't tell what this is... what do you think? :confused::love::confused::love:
 
Jul 31, 2009
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I'm a Soldier who met another HOOAH Soldier of the opposite gender at OBLC ~9months ago. We exchanged facebook messages and then about a month ago that Soldier came to visit me. We drank. We had a heart to heart and exchanged some personal info. But nothing sexual happened. Now, we're exchanging periodic emails and talking on the phone about twice a week. We've talked about marriage and weddings and children. But nothing has "happened"?

I can't tell what this is... what do you think? :confused::love::confused::love:
could it be the getting to know each other to see where it goes?
It sounds like that.
 
Apr 4, 2010
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What is the likelihood that someone would visit just a plain battle? Does that mean that he thinks he might be interested? Are we "dating"? If we get together again at a restaurant, should I expect him to pay? Should I offer to pay? btw, he paid for everything when he was here. Does that mean anything? He was also my guest. If I go visit him should I pay?
 

Mr. Freeze

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If two soldiers of the opposite sex got drunk and nothing sexual happened, either a. you're ugly or b. he is gay. Being that you CAN'T ASK, feel free to draw your own conclusions.

Obviously rhetorical, being that you are in the Army, but what are you, 12? :cool: Maybe you could send a note to him with "do you like me? []yes []no []maybe"?

I've never bought my battle buddies anything but beer, cope', and lap dances. So that might help you decide.
 

tulane06

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Troll.
 

jabreal00

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Yeah it is quite a ridiculous thread. By the age of 23 or 24, the last place one should go to advise about interpersonal relationships is online. If it is a legitimate question, ask friends or family. Or how about ask they guy what the deal is. Does he want just friendship or more? Do you just want friendship or more?
 
Apr 4, 2010
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Don't be harsh. What other online community has more AMEDD folks in it than this one? This forum is perfect. How many times can someone ask/answer the same questions about USUHS and HPSP?

There has been no change in the status of my friendship with the other Soldier. We're still emailing and talking on the phone. We are planning a small get away. But I would go on this get away with my girlfriends just as much as I would take my boyfriend.
I still don't know what this is. Plain and simple I don't want to make a move that would injure either outcome.
I know he finds me sexually attractive. He has given me multiple physical compliments. But again, these are the same things that my girlfriends have said to me. Could have been friendly compliments?
We've both had those glorious public Army "hook-ups". I don't think either one of us wants another coworker that we can't look squarely at!
So? Stop debating the quality of the post and start answering the question!
 

mac61

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The conspicuous use of "soldier" makes me wonder if this romance involves an enlisted SM? Outside of that obviously bad decision matrix, visit him, pay for what you would pay for normally, and give him the goods. Worst case is you work together for a couple years and PCS with some awkwardness because things didn't work out. Best case, good times had by all, with repeat performances.

(And this is kinda like high school, but I couldn't resist as this is a Military Medicine forum and STDs are rampant these days among our troops.)

Good luck.
 

dru2002

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If two soldiers of the opposite sex got drunk and nothing sexual happened, either a. you're ugly or b. he is gay. Being that you CAN'T ASK, feel free to draw your own conclusions.

Obviously rhetorical, being that you are in the Army, but what are you, 12? :cool: Maybe you could send a note to him with "do you like me? []yes []no []maybe"?

I've never bought my battle buddies anything but beer, cope', and lap dances. So that might help you decide.
Mr. Freeze is a wise man. Nailed it on the head.
 

BOHICA-FIGMO

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I'm a Soldier who met another HOOAH Soldier of the opposite gender at OBLC ~9months ago. We exchanged facebook messages and then about a month ago that Soldier came to visit me. We drank. We had a heart to heart and exchanged some personal info. But nothing sexual happened. Now, we're exchanging periodic emails and talking on the phone about twice a week. We've talked about marriage and weddings and children. But nothing has "happened"?

I can't tell what this is... what do you think? :confused::love::confused::love:
Sounds like you didn't drink enough :smuggrin:

Seriously, this is way to complicated to deal with in an online forum. Just consider that if you do get married, both stay in the service, and have kids, it is likely you will have significant amount of time being a single parent (i.e., she deploys adn you get to stay home with the kid; when she gets back, you get to deploy while she stays home with the kid.) Just something to consider.
 
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I think this could be the ideal mate for you since the other person is in the military as well. Speaking from a woman's stand point I do not care how long I am in the military I will always be a lady when the uniform comes off. That being said I am not bold enough to make the obvious first move, but the moves that are not obvious. It is tough if you are trying to cultivate a relationship, and you are not sure how the other person feels. Maybe I am reading this wrong, but I think the person is interested in you. My male friends have told me I look good, but they do not say it repeatedly. That being said use discrete body language to get the ball rolling....like laugh real hard and playfully touch the persons knee. When it is time to say good bye give a lingering hug that includes no butt sticking out.

Good Luck...it is spring the perfect time for love....
 

ArmyBelle

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I think he likes you too! This is just part of the greatness of new relationships! He wouldn't have came to visit if he wasn't interested. Take it slow. You don't want the love affair to crash and burn.
Its a good thing that he didn't try to jump in your pants. Sounds like he's an Officer and a Gentleman! He might even respect you, like you're the best 15% of the best 1% of Americans, that you are!
My advice, go get him girlie! I'd go visit. I'd pay for everything for the first half of my trip. Then midway through I'd put it on him like he's NEVER HAD! Pack your freak-um dress!


p.s. never take romantic advice from men who chew tobacco AND frequent strip joints.
 

0317

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p.s. never take romantic advice from men who chew tobacco AND frequent strip joints.
So I guess my advice of offering a "contract marriage" would be ill received...

In all serious, however. Ask a few questions. While there is no rubric for this, sometimes you can do a pretty decent analysis.

1. Is he shy, timid, reluctant?
2. Were you mandated battle buddies, or did he seek you out?

or

3. Is he confident, with swagger?


If he is timid and sought you out, he really likes you. If he is timid and didn't seek you out, he probably still likes you. If he is confident and sought you out, he may be on the rebound, and due to fraternization, may be having trouble finding something.

If you are alright with letting it happen, make the first move. He may just be shy, timid, inexperienced or whatever. If you absolutely have to know that he loves you, wants you, wants kids, or whatever, prior to racking out together... your only move is to wait it out, and see what happens.

And it seems that right now, you two are just "talking," which is what one previous poster noted as the "getting to know you stage."
 
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Mr. Freeze

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p.s. never take romantic advice from men who chew tobacco AND frequent strip joints.
If she would act a little bit more like a stripper, and less like a 6th grader, she wouldn't have to ask us if LT Limpdick likes her or not.

Further, I am offended; some of the most romantic Denny's breakfasts I've ever had began as a dip, my 2 minimum drinks, and a stack of 20's. :love:
 

mac61

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If she would act a little bit more like a stripper, and less like a 6th grader, she wouldn't have to ask us if LT Limpdick likes her or not.

Further, I am offended; some of the most romantic Denny's breakfasts I've ever had began as a dip, my 2 minimum drinks, and a stack of 20's. :love:
OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH BURN!!!!!! (in my best high school voice)

Can't believe this is happening. You'd think we have better things to quibble about as we're trying to heal the sick and all.

May God have mercy on us all (and our patients).
 
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I think its is nice to show that we all still have a human side to us although we are in medicine and the military.


I just hope you keep us updated on the progress.
 

Charlie0318

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This thread is a great demonstration with what is wrong with relationships in America today.

How about instead of turning these questions to the vastness of the interweb you actually ****ing talk to the other human being involved with this nonsense!!!

Yes it makes you vulnerable and maybe you will get hurt, but that is life. No one on the internet can tell you what this person is thinking, so how about you go ask the only person that can answer your question!!?!?!?!?!!?!?

I don't understand why communication is so hard...
 
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This thread is a great demonstration with what is wrong with relationships in America today.

How about instead of turning these questions to the vastness of the interweb you actually ****ing talk to the other human being involved with this nonsense!!!

Yes it makes you vulnerable and maybe you will get hurt, but that is life. No one on the internet can tell you what this person is thinking, so how about you go ask the only person that can answer your question!!?!?!?!?!!?!?

I don't understand why communication is so hard...
 
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Charlie0318

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It is hard to be vulnerable...I want to save lives, join the military, do residencey,and any other challenge that comes my way, but I still have a hard time letting my BF know that I how much I love and need him. Nobody wants to be hurt or embarrassed. Especially having the feeling of I love you more, so now you might screw mw over...most woman love to talk, but baring your soul is difficult.
Yes it is hard. But that is life. If it was easy then everyone would be married to the person of their dreams and divorce rates would be 0.

Damn near everything in this life that is worthwhile is scary and or hard.

Deal with it or be unhappy. The choice is yours.

Edit: Talking to a person does not have to make you vulnerable. Only you can do that. If you are attached to being in a relationship with this person and it doesn't work out, yes you will be hurt. So let go of the attachment. Think, yes I like this person very much and would like to pursue a relationship. But if they don't feel the same way then it was not meant to be and you deserve someone who wants you anyways. If they do feel the same way then great.

Either way again it takes talking to the other person, not the internet.
 
Apr 4, 2010
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Update"
I went to visit. We hooked up. The sex was absolutely amazing. Then he told me that he didn't want a girlfriend...
Thanks for all the advice.
 

The White Coat Investor

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Update"
I went to visit. We hooked up. The sex was absolutely amazing. Then he told me that he didn't want a girlfriend...
Thanks for all the advice.
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?