a hard decision--need help!

[dragonmate]

This decision has been a long time coming...and now it's about time that I make it and stick to it. I'm in the current application cycle and can't imagine myself doing anything but medicine. The only problem is that I have been in a committed relationship for 3 years and now he's in dental school in a different state! So basically, if I want to be with him, I MUST get into the one school that is near him. I just had an interview at my state school and feel very confident about it...but I haven't heard a peep from this other school. So I have to make a decision: either I drop my relationship (I was planning on spending the rest of my life with this man) and go to my state school or whichever school I'm accepted at, or I reject any school that accepts me, and move to this other state, and reapply next year EDP to this one school. What do you guys think? I'm so confused and tormented that I can't even make a coherent decision! Please help.

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[Apparition]

What year is he in dental? I think, in your situation, I would go to a school that would accept me and if it's that serious with the guy, I would try to keep a lont distance relationship until he finishes dental school and can move to your city.

 

[bgtati]

My oppinion: Having a long distance relationship is very difficult. One resident in medicine told me that if your relationship goes on with a seperation of more than a year than you should call it off. However, what Im thinking is that if you are asking this question than you already know the answer. Obviously you will not postpone ur career for his, and vice versa. perhaps its time to collect our losses and proceed in life. The sun will still rise tomorrow. I hope this helps.......

 

[DeadorAlive]

Why don't you wait and see where you get in (it's only October) and in the meantime continue to have honest, open conversations with your man about the situation? Communication is the key to all of this, regardless of distance. I wouldn't recommend dropping either love or dream straight out; you have about 10 months - use them!

 

[J'kwan]

I also think you should just be patient. One thing you could do is send a letter of intent to the school near your boyfriend's dental school. Other than that, I'd wait it out.

 

[dragonmate]

I also think you should just be patient. One thing you could do is send a letter of intent to the school near your boyfriend's dental school. Other than that, I'd wait it out.

I have spoken to the director of admissions several times expressing my desire to go to this school. He's just telling me to wait it out (obviously he can't tell me he'll grant me an interview). I'm just getting anxious, that's all. It's so stressful to think about.
By the way, a long distance relationship is out of the question...he just started his first year of dental school. But I know it would work for some people, just not for us.

 

[ShyRem]

Hmm. My husband and I were apart and in a long-distance relationship for 9 months before we got married. It was the best thing that happened to us. We both considered breaking it off for the other person, but just couldn't do it. It made us stronger and definitely more appreciative of us as individual people and as a couple. However, I think any relationship that can't survive a separation isn't much of a relationship. Perhaps there is something (or someone) else out there for you.

Did he have a hard time going to dental school out of state? Or was it an easy decision for him? In other words, are YOU the one following him or is he trying just as hard? Relationships take two - and if you give up everything and he gives nothing, it will not survive.

Good luck. Not an easy decision and heartbreak could be on either (or both) sides no matter what you do.

 

[J'kwan]

I have spoken to the director of admissions several times expressing my desire to go to this school. He's just telling me to wait it out (obviously he can't tell me he'll grant me an interview). I'm just getting anxious, that's all. It's so stressful to think about.
By the way, a long distance relationship is out of the question...he just started his first year of dental school. But I know it would work for some people, just not for us.

I'll keep my finger crossed for you. It's early still ...

 

[dragonmate]

I'll keep my finger crossed for you. It's early still ...

Thanks J'kwan.