A little help with my personal statement

[woltej1]

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Some background info. Applied in 2012, got waitlisted. Took a year off to retake MCAT and pad my resume. Scored 6 points higher on MCAT. In general, my education stats are OK, 3.6, mostly stable with a slight down trend my last senior semester due to 20+hours/week of work, extracurriculars and having to take a year of research and make a presentation out of it.

So I've been working on my PS for the upcoming cycle. Going to keep it simple as I'm far from a creative writer and just going to follow the guideline on this website. My body paragraphs will consist of why i want to be a physician, why I'm qualified as a person and why I'm qualified on paper.

My question lies in the last one. Do I address my below average academic record in the body of my PS or save it for a small entry at the end of my statement. Save it for the secondary's of each school? Just trying to figure out how to talk about my academics in the right way as in one of my interviews they addressed my academics in a not so positive way.

 

[StarFall]

I'm not sure but I'm going to say to mention your average stats in the body of the PS. I feel that if you saved it at the end of the PS, it still wouldn't convince adcoms/person reading that you could handle the course work in med school.
As for secondaries, I'm also not sure about this as well if you should save it for the secondary instead of the PS.
Maybe you could shed some light on what you would specifically address? Any life circumstances? Just too much work at once? Family matters? Etc..
Again, take my opinion with a grain of salt and wait for other people's responses..

 

[Awesome Sauceome]

If you applied to DO schools last cycle and were rejected with a 3.6 it either meant that your MCAT was too low, you applied to too many top heavy schools, not enough schools, or you have some other blaring thing that got you rejected.

I would definitely imagine that the 3.6 is not what got you rejected and I would not bring it up unless it is brought up during an interview.

 

[AlbinoHawk DO]

Your problem is not your grades. I would definitely suggest avoiding bringing attention to things like that. At best you can use your MCAT 6 point increase if you work it in as being an opportunity to grow following an initial bad mcat score.

You can address other difficulties without having to cite your numbers. Schools can put 2 and 2 together.

 

[Starry]

I wouldn't mention your academic record. They have it if they wanted to look at it. Also, a 3.6 is more than fine; unless you started off with a <3.0 and have slowly clawed your way up, I don't think it's worth mentioning. Don't draw attention to a downward trend. Don't make excuses. Don't waste the adcoms attention.

I disagree with your choice of body paragraphs. They seem weak. I'm sure you are planning to add examples but I would prefer a different format.

This is my generic advice:

Focus more on things like: Why medicine, Why physician, What kind of person are you, What are you passionate about, What are the most important lessons you have learned in life, What challenges have you faced, What makes you unique. Don't answer all these but pick a few and go in depth. Tell a dynamic story. Use personal examples, write simply, don't use a thesaurus.

Example outline:
1) Intro: Set the tone, define who you are, end with a thesis statement (e.g. "I have grown in my experiences as a researcher, student leader, and *insert job title*")
2) Discuss research. What you learned, why you did it, what you liked, or what challenges you faced. Don't talk about the research, talk about YOU. Don't talk about how you got the gig or the intricities of your research. Be forward-looking. Discuss why this will make you a better med student/physician.
2) Same as above for student leadership.
3) Same as above for job you held.
4) Short conclusion. End on a good note; again, how all of these experiences have affected your future goals, and why they prepare you to be a physician.

Keep it to three things because human beings like groups of threes. Other things that can fit as one of the three bullet points: any clinical experience, volunteering with the under-served, international travel (doesn't have to be medical), struggles with health issues, an interesting class you took...in all of these, tell a story or give an example!

Voila! No need to mention downward trend, plus you draw attention to the GOOD aspects of your app that you have worked so hard for. These are the things that make you unique, and also give the adcom a better idea of who you are.

Why qualified should come from your MCAT score and GPA.

 

[Chillywilly]

Focus your essay on how your experiences and motivations relate to the core values of a physician. I cannot stress this enough. My Mcat isn't stellar but based on my PS statement, it landed me 11 DO ii and 1 MD ii. I had
Interviewers tell my ECs and PS statement were excellent. This is coming from somebody with a 6 in verbal and a downward gpa trend in grad school ( grad gpa was a 3.3 vs. undergrad was 3.95)

Do not mention low grades or Mcat in your PS. It's a waste of space and it isn't going to make a difference. Trust Me, I've tried it all... I'm a second time
Applicant. Just focus on your qualities and how they relate to qualities of being a Good doctor. Mention diversity and your dedication to helping under served and underprivileged.