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Sounds like she's doing everything she can to bring you down on this. That doesn't sound like a very healthy basis for a relationship.
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Sounds like she's doing everything she can to bring you down on this. That doesn't sound like a very healthy basis for a relationship.
2
235009
ok this is a pretty big red flag
that being said though your decision to go to med school is still very questionable
I think one thing people don't account for with PSLF is how much they'll have to pay off after residency when they no longer qualify for IBR. If you are making an attending salary and are in the standard loan repayment plan with 500k of debt due to accrued interest on your 300k we're talking anywhere from 3-5 THOUSAND a MONTH!
Just because you're in a relationship with someone doesn't mean that they have to be responsible for your debt.
I wouldn't want to marry someone with a huge amount of debt and I certainly wouldn't want to be their sugar mama. I think that the lady has a good point but she has no business telling you what to do with your own life. Good luck!
I wouldn't want to marry someone with a huge amount of debt and I certainly wouldn't want to be their sugar mama. I think that the lady has a good point but she has no business telling you what to do with your own life. Good luck!
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I am also in the camp of you should pay off your own debt. There are going to be expenses that you will share, but education debt that you came into the relationship with is not one of them. You can pay off $3ook on $75-80k. You can also likely find ways to make more money on wknds etc.
If my SO told they were 300k in-debt and considering more debt. And also going to be MIA b/c of the stress and pressures of med school, they wouldn't be my SO other much longer. I also wouldn't be eager to marry someone in the service (and deal with deployment and the like), but to each their own.
The things being asked of you are not unreasonable. Either that or I'm as much a prince as she is a princess. $300k debt plus potentially more, you being missing for a good part of the next eight years, no real income until at least 8 yrs down the line and the potential to need to move at least once. That is a lot of sacrifice to have to make.
Basically you have to make a choice. Say goodbye to her or say goodbye to the MD. It's clear they are mutually exclusive.
If my SO told they were 300k in-debt and considering more debt. And also going to be MIA b/c of the stress and pressures of med school, they wouldn't be my SO other much longer. I also wouldn't be eager to marry someone in the service (and deal with deployment and the like), but to each their own.
The things being asked of you are not unreasonable. Either that or I'm as much a prince as she is a princess. $300k debt plus potentially more, you being missing for a good part of the next eight years, no real income until at least 8 yrs down the line and the potential to need to move at least once. That is a lot of sacrifice to have to make.
Basically you have to make a choice. Say goodbye to her or say goodbye to the MD. It's clear they are mutually exclusive.
Tuition paid for by what?
There's a difference between asking an SO to help pay off your debt and asking a spouse who you will (hopefully) spend the rest of your life with to help pay off debt. In the latter situation, the debt is going to affect both spouses, especially since the vast majority of married couples share their income/debt to some extent. Besides, OP is not the one wanting to rush into this marriage and have kids, the gf is. If it were the other way around, I'd completely agree with you and I don't think his SO's desires are what are unreasonable. I think the fact that she is attempting to dictate his entire future and giving him an ultimatum about it after only being together for a year is unreasonable. Especially since it seems she is not willing to make any compromises. She's essentially holding him hostage with her demands.
Honestly, I don't see this relationship working out for either of them unless OP is willing to let himself be walked all over for the rest of his life or his gf suddenly becomes much more understanding/compromising. Either way, I think OP needs to make this decision for himself and let his GF do what she is going to do.
I thought he was going to take a military scholarship? Maybe I skipped too much. If not then I agree that 600k is waaaay too much to be worth it, but I seem to be in the frugal minority on SDN lol.
Is IBR not an option after a certain income or is there an income/debt ratio that's considered? If it's a ratio, then the total amount borrowed shouldn't matter, as the OP will be a certain percentage of his income and live off the rest.
If he'll be excluded based on his gross income, then he needs to speak to an accountant/financial adviser and see if this makes sense to him. Many physicians can take home 10-15k per month after taxes. If his loan payment is 6k per month and he "has to" live off of 4k+ per month, and he's ok retiring on his crappy social security check (or being frugal with the 4k per month and finding a way to save), then that's a decision for the OP to make. Also, if he marries a physician, the total household income should be plenty to live and save from.
As much as I love medicine, 4.5 half years into my graduate medical education training, I'm at the point where I don't think I would be happy knowing that my post-residency income was going to be 4k per month after taxes and loans. But then again, maybe I say that because I know it won't be the case for me.
The point being that she doesn't enjoy it but does the work because you demand it ... Got it--you must be one attractive guy.
It's not cause to pause; it's cause to dump her. She's telling you who she is--believe her, and understand that she isn't whom you want for a spouse. If you were married and she were diagnosed with cancer, would you decline to care for her and love her because you didn't have any say in that happening? You aren't hiding debts from her and if she wants to marry you she gets the whole package and you share the load.
My own family is fairly affluent--not hedge fund manager affluent, but physician-dad affluent. One of my sisters married a man who then went back to school--and my parents generously helped make that possible, because they treated him as one of their own. Wouldn't you rather have a partner who would do everything she could to help you achieve your dreams? Let me guess, it's not like she's offering to forgo a big rock or a big wedding in order to help you pay down your loans ....
You've gotten some great advice. I wouldn't go the MD/DO route for one reason. Debt. Also, sounds like she just wants to maintain a comfortable lifestyle (i.e. your future earnings). I'll just share my experience. I'm a pharmacist married a pharmacy tech with two small children. We built a house and had another child. About 6 years into the marriage she asks me if I would adopt the children. I felt honored and said "Okay". Then a year later she leaves me for a National Guardsmen. (I hope not you. 🙂) Now on the hook for child support for two kids who won't even talk to me. Well, one just dropped off by turning 18. Now I'm only paying $1500 a month. Yeah, I got used.
She's a physician.
6
68PGunner
No, it means that we love each other and do things for each other even when we're not in the mood for it. It's a part of compromising, maintaining a healthy relationship, and keeping everyone in the family happy.
You didn't exactly make it sound like an act of love or a two-way street. In your initial comment you very definitely made it sound like a chore for her, and one that she does when you demand it, and that makes you sound like, well, not a very attractive or pleasing hubby. Even worse, it sounds to some extent as though you simply don't care whether she wants to engage in those activities or not. Again, doesn't make you sound like such a delight to be with. And if it were all about some sort of mutual give and take, why would it be something the boys or guys would understand (in your response to another poster)? Why not something married folks, or parents, understand?
Then your comment to a poster who objected to the effect of "why do I have to apologize to some cookie on the Internet" or whatever ... well, you know, maybe you'll end up being classmates someday and be "outed," as it seems folks here often are. Do you really want to go on record as that jerk who makes it sound like he's glorying in his wife servicing him? Just, ugh.
If you were trying to convey the idea that your wife is awesome because she's a good mom, a good homemaker, and a generous and affectionate partner, there are a lot of ways to put it that aren't so crude, offensive, and un-loving.
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Missed that part. However, how long do you think she will be working (at least FT) once those babies start coming?
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You can use PSLF in conjunction with IBR or PAYE.
6
68PGunner
Guys exaggerate to illustrate simple points. Anyway, married folks and parents would understand my point. It's usually premed feminists that are uptight about my use of language in this instant. It points to your immaturity and lack of life experience. Go out and date more guys. In fact, you should plan a trip to a legalized marijuana state and smoke a few joints. It will open up your perspective. Peace.
6
68PGunner
Hm... This is a red flag.
Dude, I would be running for the hills. Trust me, way easier now than later.
Using 7% compounded monthly, no payments on your student loans during med school, a standard 4-year med school curriculum (4 years, or 48 months), and a present value of $300K in student loan debt, your current student loans will equal $396,616 when you graduate from med school. Assuming 7% interest, a 10-year repayment plan would have payments of $4,605/month for 120 months, and a 25-year repayment plan would have payments of $2,803/month. This does not count any sort of PAYE/IBR scenario - these are financial calculations straight from an Excel spreadsheet.
If you take the National Guard scholarship, AND you are able to live off of the $2000/month stipend (you should confirm whether the stipend is for 12 months/year (i.e. $24K/yr) or just during med school i.e. 10 months/year (i.e. $20K/yr)), then the above scenario would apply to you. This is a completely doable scenario given the PAYE/IBR options that would be available to you upon graduation. You'll obviously need to go to studentloans.gov and crunch your actual numbers.
The above scenario is doable even if you go into primary care AND you are able to take advantage of generous loan repayment programs. However, be advised that many primary care loan repayment programs DO NOT allow you to have a concurrent military commitment. This may apply strictly to active duty personnel, but I suspect that it likely extends to National Guard/reservists, too. However, your drill check would cover a chunk of your IBR/PAYE student loan payment (an O3 with 2 years makes $591/month, with 6 years its $729/month).
If you DO NOT take the National Guard scholarship - assuming an average private med school COA of $75K/year at 7%, your total student loans would balloon to approximately $726K. This is equal to $8,432/month on a 10-year plan, or $5,132/month on a 25-year plan, not counting IBR/PAYE.
As previous posters have noted, you should go into this thinking that the PSLF will not be around for you to use. Financially speaking, I would only pursue the MD in this case if I had the National Guard scholarship.
As far as the relationship goes - there are nearly 7 billion people on earth, pretty evenly split between male/female. I could go on and on about matching/sorting markets and preferences, but the short answer is that there are more than enough legitimate online dating services that will help you find a partner efficiently and allow you to sort based on specific preferences. In other words, don't let the short-run negative impact of breaking up with somebody affect your long-run plans.
As I see it, the biggest question you need to ask yourself is: 1) Why do I want to become a physician? Then, 2) is my answer to #1 worth a minimum of 7 years of hell? Then, 3) is it also worth the financial burden?
If you take the National Guard scholarship, AND you are able to live off of the $2000/month stipend (you should confirm whether the stipend is for 12 months/year (i.e. $24K/yr) or just during med school i.e. 10 months/year (i.e. $20K/yr)), then the above scenario would apply to you. This is a completely doable scenario given the PAYE/IBR options that would be available to you upon graduation. You'll obviously need to go to studentloans.gov and crunch your actual numbers.
The above scenario is doable even if you go into primary care AND you are able to take advantage of generous loan repayment programs. However, be advised that many primary care loan repayment programs DO NOT allow you to have a concurrent military commitment. This may apply strictly to active duty personnel, but I suspect that it likely extends to National Guard/reservists, too. However, your drill check would cover a chunk of your IBR/PAYE student loan payment (an O3 with 2 years makes $591/month, with 6 years its $729/month).
If you DO NOT take the National Guard scholarship - assuming an average private med school COA of $75K/year at 7%, your total student loans would balloon to approximately $726K. This is equal to $8,432/month on a 10-year plan, or $5,132/month on a 25-year plan, not counting IBR/PAYE.
As previous posters have noted, you should go into this thinking that the PSLF will not be around for you to use. Financially speaking, I would only pursue the MD in this case if I had the National Guard scholarship.
As far as the relationship goes - there are nearly 7 billion people on earth, pretty evenly split between male/female. I could go on and on about matching/sorting markets and preferences, but the short answer is that there are more than enough legitimate online dating services that will help you find a partner efficiently and allow you to sort based on specific preferences. In other words, don't let the short-run negative impact of breaking up with somebody affect your long-run plans.
As I see it, the biggest question you need to ask yourself is: 1) Why do I want to become a physician? Then, 2) is my answer to #1 worth a minimum of 7 years of hell? Then, 3) is it also worth the financial burden?
2
235009
I think I mislead some people a little with my post. Once you qualify for IBR you qualify forever. However if your salary is high so will your payments (which are 15% of your AGI above 150% of the poverty line). Maybe with 500k in debt it might be more advantageous to keep paying the IBR payments but usually when you start making an attending salary IBR becomes more than the standard payment.
Wow. That is horrifying.
yea this this this this.
my SO is fine with paying for everything like rent, food, entertainment (basically everything but my state school tuition) so my loan burden is minimized (even though we're not married, and if we break up technically I don't owe him anything if I feel like being a scumbag). If your partner doesn't think in the long term in terms of your loans/repayment, they are probably NOT seeing themselves in the relationship for 10+ years. Seems like to me she wants the baby and not much else in terms of long-term companionship from you.
If she's a physician in love with you and not your sperms, she'd be fine (or at least not that combative) with paying your COL and probably as much of your tuition as she can if she saw this marriage lasting 10-15+ years... imo it's not unfair to ask her to help now, if your earning potential is pretty good in the long term. But I might be wrong, business maths not my strongest suit. That 300k in prior loans is not her problem though.
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That is precisely why I said:
"Why not something married folks, or parents, understand?"
As far as "guys exaggerate," believe it or not, I've been married for a number of years, to a man, and I have a son (who I'm betting is older than yours), and I have a dad, and I've studied with and worked with mostly men for quite a number of years at this point. And in my experience, sure, guys exaggerate and brag a little in this department. But the exaggeration and bragging is usually in the opposite direction i.e. "she's so hot for me she wants it all the time" not "uh, she says she's tired from chasing after the kids and cleaning house but she'll accommodate me and isn't that awesome that I get it on demand?" Again, doesn't seem like something to brag about, and it doesn't make you seem like a very attractive guy.
Anyway, it's usually only selfish frat boys who are bad in bed (or can't perform) that get uptight about this kind of stuff. In fact, you should spice things up and be the recipient of penetration for a change--it will open up your "perspective." Peace.
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Regarding IBR/PAYE: In most of the scenarios I have seen, at the end of the repayment period, you owe a lump sum in the form of taxes on the forgiven amount. Once you factor that in, you end up not much better off than if you just paid off the loans directly.
Looking at the numbers derived in the post above, $8,432/month on a 10-year plan, or $5,132/month on a 25-year plan, if those are correct, you would need to devote a before tax income of about $7,500 a month for the 25 year repayment, or about $100,000 a year of gross income. The 10 year repayments will require $166,000 of gross income to make those payments. Of course, those need to be compared to what the current situation is: A 300k loan at 6.8% requires monthly payments of $3,452 on a 10 year plan, and $2082 over 25 years. That would require a net income of $41,424 on a ten year plan, and about $25,000 for the 25 year plan. This would require about a $48,000 gross income and $28,750, respectively, not counting state taxes. Of course, if you didn't go to med school, you would be paying off the loans for 7 years sooner while working ( vs med school and residency). Even so, it seems to me that you would be better off going to med school, even without the NG money, and paying off your loans, since you will likely have much more disposable income as an MD with $750k in loans than a non-MD with 300k. I might be wrong, so check my numbers. Note: I approximated the taxes for the med school income, and assume married rates.
Looking at the numbers derived in the post above, $8,432/month on a 10-year plan, or $5,132/month on a 25-year plan, if those are correct, you would need to devote a before tax income of about $7,500 a month for the 25 year repayment, or about $100,000 a year of gross income. The 10 year repayments will require $166,000 of gross income to make those payments. Of course, those need to be compared to what the current situation is: A 300k loan at 6.8% requires monthly payments of $3,452 on a 10 year plan, and $2082 over 25 years. That would require a net income of $41,424 on a ten year plan, and about $25,000 for the 25 year plan. This would require about a $48,000 gross income and $28,750, respectively, not counting state taxes. Of course, if you didn't go to med school, you would be paying off the loans for 7 years sooner while working ( vs med school and residency). Even so, it seems to me that you would be better off going to med school, even without the NG money, and paying off your loans, since you will likely have much more disposable income as an MD with $750k in loans than a non-MD with 300k. I might be wrong, so check my numbers. Note: I approximated the taxes for the med school income, and assume married rates.
This x100. If she doesn't understand that marriage is a partnership in pretty much every way, then she's not really thinking very much about the actual marriage.
It depends on the status of the undergrad loans though. If they're subsidized, then they won't accrue any more interest while he is in med school, so it would save that 96.6k worth of interest. Idk if that's true for residency too, but I'd guess not.
If the national guard scholarship is like HPSP, then you get the stipend for 11 months/year, and then officer pay for the 5 weeks each year you do boot camp/officer training. They pay you around 5,200 total for those weeks, so double the stipend for a month. It's not a bad deal financially, especially for someone that already has a ton of debt. I just wouldn't do it if money was the only/primary reason.
Did we read the same article? From the article: "So if you had the Guard pay for 4 years of med school, 4 years of residency, and pay back $160,000 in medical student loans, then your total obligation would be 16 years on drill status." Since you'll get deployed every 3-5 years, you should assume that you'll be deployed 4-5 times. And you can't just "quit" the Guard (you wrote "... if I'm still in the Guard").
Nothing is free. If you have the Guard pay for your training, you will have a long commitment to them. Make sure you understand this.
Are you Dense? She didn't need to pile on anymore. Her first attempt was way more than enough. Just more evidence. LEAVE. Even if 10 yrs from now, and you went to Med school, and end up making a mistake ; what she is doing is SELFISH.
Who cares if this is the 1st class. Go study, do reasonably well, and you will get into a decent residency and get a good paying job esp if you pick in demand field. If you went to EM now, you could literally go most places in the country and have 5 offers.
Any why does it matter if you got into 1 or 1000 schools? You got in. Everyone is essentially on equal footing right now. That is such a stupid reason other than trying to control you.
Jump ship Bro unless she is SUPER hot. JK
BTW stay away from any gov military program. Unless you are truly a soldier at heart, Never take up their offers. You are so much better of going into the private sector.
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p
No one can make the decision if going to Med school is right for you or even if this Crazy bat is right for you. But I completely disagree that
$726k in debt or $5132/mo payment is outrageous. Big amount, yes. Doable ABSOLUTELY. But you have essentially taken our Primary care a field. But that is the sacrifice that you are making.
I am an ED doc. I pull in about 30k pretax every month for the past 15 yrs. I could easily service a 5k/mo debt. Instead of buying my 1mil home and making payments on that, I would just get a 400k home and pay off my debt.
With 30k pretax or 22k post tax, I could easily live off 10k/mo and put 12k/mo into my loan. I would have it paid off in 10 yrs.
No one can make the decision if going to Med school is right for you or even if this Crazy bat is right for you. But I completely disagree that
$726k in debt or $5132/mo payment is outrageous. Big amount, yes. Doable ABSOLUTELY. But you have essentially taken our Primary care a field. But that is the sacrifice that you are making.
I am an ED doc. I pull in about 30k pretax every month for the past 15 yrs. I could easily service a 5k/mo debt. Instead of buying my 1mil home and making payments on that, I would just get a 400k home and pay off my debt.
With 30k pretax or 22k post tax, I could easily live off 10k/mo and put 12k/mo into my loan. I would have it paid off in 10 yrs.
I'm not sure you know what "k" stands for...
I'm pretty sure he know what "k" stands for. I love it when pre-med or medical students try to correct attendings. If this happens irl, I bet it would be a spectacular sight to see.
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I had to chime in just to say my goodness, this is horrifying. duped into paying for kids that aren't biologically yours for a woman who left you for someone else? I feel for you man
Im very well versed about money and finances. People fear debt but this is the wrong thinking. Fear bad debt. Embrace good debt.
Bad debt
CC balances
200k student loans while studying liberal arts
Car loans
Alimony/child support
Good debt
Home loan with low interest rate
CC balance with 0% interest
600k student loans as a doctor making 300k/yr
Rental properties mortgages with minimum down that cash flows.
I would say 600k loans as a doc making 300k/yr is MUCH better than a pharmacist making 100k/yr servicing a 200k Loan. Guess who would pay their loans off quicker?
Corrected.
See? I treat everyone the same.
(It appears I made a mistake. I've never seen someone say they make 30k/month, it seemed like such a large sum that I could not believe it wasn't a mistake. Good for you emergentmd.)
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Skimming most of this thread, OP, I feel rather confident in making a few statements:
1. You are borderline too old to go to medical school (I went at 26 and personally feel like that was pushing it).
2. You cannot afford to go to medical school. You cannot afford to go to medical school anymore than I can afford to go buy a Lamborghini tomorrow. I could probably figure out a way to have a lambo in my driveway by the end of the week. That doesn't mean I should.
3. The number of red flags in your relationship is well beyond the critical threshold for ending it.
Advice:
1. Do not go to medical school
2. Learn how to be ok with not going to medical school.
3. Date different women. You sound like you have not dated many women. You are entering your peak years in terms of desirability. Get fit, get a good high paying job, pay your debt down, and date a number of different women until you find one with no red flags. No good can come of anything you have posted.
I feel fairly confident that you are not going to listen to anything I have just written. Please bookmark this thread and come back and post in 7-8 years and let us know what happened.
1. You are borderline too old to go to medical school (I went at 26 and personally feel like that was pushing it).
2. You cannot afford to go to medical school. You cannot afford to go to medical school anymore than I can afford to go buy a Lamborghini tomorrow. I could probably figure out a way to have a lambo in my driveway by the end of the week. That doesn't mean I should.
3. The number of red flags in your relationship is well beyond the critical threshold for ending it.
Advice:
1. Do not go to medical school
2. Learn how to be ok with not going to medical school.
3. Date different women. You sound like you have not dated many women. You are entering your peak years in terms of desirability. Get fit, get a good high paying job, pay your debt down, and date a number of different women until you find one with no red flags. No good can come of anything you have posted.
I feel fairly confident that you are not going to listen to anything I have just written. Please bookmark this thread and come back and post in 7-8 years and let us know what happened.
Ok, to follow-up what I just posted above in response to this, yes it is theoretically do-able. But there is literally no looking back and you are 100% committed. You will be giving up whatever bit you have remaining of your youth to do this.
If you somehow reason that this is a good idea, for the love of god, DO NOT ENTER MEDICAL SCHOOL IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. Go single, date younger girls, be cautious of getting married until your residency plans are solidified and you know your partner is going to be physically with you throughout residency.
Um...
The founder of hospice went to medical school at 31 in order to get credibility in order to create palliative care.
I'm pretty sure that Kari Nadeau, a pioneer in allergy treatment at Stanford, was an advertising exec and went to med school at 30 or 31.
My dermatologist went to med school at 29. (Naturally, she didn't look it, but she told me.)
Don't project your insecurities onto other people. The OP's issues (debt, relationship baggage) play into his decision, but he's turning 29 and that is not too old for medical school.
$30,000 pre-tax x 12 months = $360,000 pre-tax. Based on salary averages thrown around on SDN all the time, does it seem like a mistake? I know you admitted you were mistaken, I'm just pointing out some simple math could have helped you see the reason.
Yeah, no idea what @futuremdforme is talking about. OP isn't even 29 yet. I see the argument for someone being "too old" when they are 50+ or so... but, debt issues aside, OP could practice for ~30 years. No way is he too old.
1. Too old - Everyone has their own opinions likely based on what they went through in life. I went straight out of college, started as an attending when I was 28 YO so someone 29 would seem older but to say that its too old is short sighted IMO. If he went to a 3-4 yr program (EM, Gas) he would be done 37. Not too bad IMO
2. Can't afford to go to med school. Again, debt is all relative. Lets look at his two scenerio.
Do not go to med school and have a 300k debt. I would say OP would be lucky to find a 100k job tomorrow. A 300k debt facing a 100k income is overwhelming IMO. 100k is about 70k take home. That is 6k/mo take home. Service that debt at 6%, 20 yrs is $2100/m0. That leaves him about 4k/mo. Rent 1k, utilities/car loan/basic living is 2k. That would leave him 1K for EVERYTHING ELSE. Good luck having any quality of life for 20 yrs. If you lose your job, get hurt, or have a Big $$$ expense, and you will be in more debt.
Go to med school with 300k debt, leave with 700k debt (seems high for 4 yrs of medschool but whatever, I will take the high number). Same rate/20yrs would cose $5k/mo. make 30k/mo, take home 22k. That would leave you 17K for Everything else. Same as above, 3k while renting would leave OP with 14K. Alot of Buffer for unforseen issues. Plus Medicine is a SUPER stable job. How many unemployed doc that is not Psycho can you name? I know of none.
When I was 35, i bought a home over 1 Mil nd have 700k left on the note. I have no problems paying my note. No different than the Ops 700k debt when he leaves residency at 35
Which scenario would you pick? And Yes, In the past 15 yrs as an attending, the least I ever made a Year was about 375K. This year, I will be making over the 450K mark.
3. This I Completely agree with. Married for 15 yrs to someone that prob is too good for me, and overall sane. But again, there are moments when she is Bat crazy esp during that time of month. OP GF is Bat Crazy all the time.
really? I can walk through my hospital and can be very confident that all of the Ortho, Neurosurgeon, Radiologist, Gas, cards, ENT, OB make more than I do. I
You have to understand that I've only had one job that paid a tiny fraction of what you make (/month). It's one of those moments where of course I've heard of people making that much per year, but I had never seen the number per month.
I kinda figured my post would not be well received. Whatever, in my opinion, as someone who is a nontrad, I would not personally start this at 29. If the OP can find a job making 100k, he could be making double, triple that maybe more in 10 years and have his debt paid. Going to med school for the reason of paying down your debt isn't a good idea. You need to have a better reason. And at 30+, it needs to be a real good reason.
unless the op went to some no name law school and is totally and utterly unemployable, I would say give it a shot and try to work your way up.
unless the op went to some no name law school and is totally and utterly unemployable, I would say give it a shot and try to work your way up.
There are alot of assumptions in your statement. Obviously there is no way to predict the future. But if OP loves medicine, I would say that going to med school is a much better bet.
Now, knowing what i know, would I want to go to med school at 29 and essentially have a screwed up life until I am pushin 40? probably not.
But the thought of 300k and having no assurance that I would make more than 100k/yr is very depressing.
That's ~27% tax rate. Is that really what you are taxed on $360k? My GI attending told me he is taxed 46%, and he admits that he doesn't make as much as other GI docs, so I don't think he is in some crazy high tax bracket.
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It's easy to make 30k a month in the ED as a physician if you work in the right place.
Being a doctor opens up a lot of doors for you, income-wise.
Man, I made almost 30k doing 50 hrs of moonlighting last month.
Once you take all of the deductions and account for retirement allocation, I am usually at 25-28%
Why do you assume she won't be? She's on her second fellowship and has a challenging and rewarding career. Seems pretty chauvinist to assume she will not work. To question? Sure. To assume? - Nope
I'm older, married, a parent, and decidedly not uptight. But I too found your "sex on demand" language offensive, in that it reduces a woman's role to a relatively small piece of anatomy that exists for your pleasure. You demand (you're the boss, right?), she complies (even though it sounds like she doesn't want to). Not a flattering portrayal of your marriage.
Feminist? I resemble that remark. I absolutely believe women should have equal rights, equal pay, equal responsibilities, and equal access to opportunities. Would you like to go on record as not believing those things? Feminist is not a dirty word and should not be thrown around as if it were an insult.
You appear to assume that this was her devious plan -- (If it was, that's nasty. If it wasn't, it's merely a very tough break...)
In fact, there are a whole lot of negative assumptions on this thread about women's motivations. How is it in any way evil for an intelligent adult to not want to assume $300,000 of existing debt plus another $300,000 in potential future debt for a largely-absentee (for the next 8 years) partner? Frankly, it would be foolish for her not to feel that way. Selfish? Sure, but not to a 'ditch the witch' extent. Reverse the genders and imagine you're the soon-to-be-attending and your GF wants you to assume $600K of her debt -- Funny how the preponderance of advice doesn't change at all -- "Dump the gold-digging witch!" (Yes, I'm assuming, based on what I've seen here and elsewhere online.) Would that make you selfish?
What we have in this situation is an unfortunate confluence of events -- She wants to have a baby. He wants to give up a reasonably lucrative career and pursue a dream which will put him/them hugely in debt and make him a sub-optimal (temporarily, due to time constraints) father. Both parties have reasonable wants and needs. Neither party is evil or scheming. They both just want what they want, and those wants tend to conflict.
- Status
