Accepted at USUHS - Need personal advice before I accept

[AGerm17]

Hi all -

I was just accepted off of the waitlist into USUHS and am really torn about going for a number of reasons - the main one of which is personal. I am in my mid 34's, single and female and really want to be get married and have a family in addition to my career. But I understand that 60% of the incoming students are already married with kids and certainly the rigors of the program are not going to allow for a whole lot of extra-curricular searching for a partner, especially one who will adapt to the military lifestyle.

As trivial as this may sound, family is very important to me , as is medicine - and I do not want to sacrifice one over the other. Any insight and feedback would be tremendously helpful as I have to give me decision ASAP!

Thank you!

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[denali]

Hi all -

I was just accepted off of the waitlist into USUHS and am really torn about going for a number of reasons - the main one of which is personal. I am in my mid 34's, single and female and really want to be get married and have a family in addition to my career. But I understand that 60% of the incoming students are already married with kids and certainly the rigors of the program are not going to allow for a whole lot of extra-curricular searching for a partner, especially one who will adapt to the military lifestyle.

As trivial as this may sound, family is very important to me , as is medicine - and I do not want to sacrifice one over the other. Any insight and feedback would be tremendously helpful as I have to give me decision ASAP!

Thank you!

Here's a couple musings:

1. Class makeup differs from year-to-year; 60% sounds high. Yeah, a fair number of people come here either married, engaged, or in a LTR that leads to marriage, but there are also currently at least 3 engaged intraclass couples in my year, with 5+ serious intraclass relationships (the body count as it is called).

2. Having an income as a med student makes a social life easier to maintain.

3. RE: military partner. IMHO it's a wash. Yeah, someone who's in the military may have a better understanding of what the military will require of you, but that doesn't mean they're going to like it any more (see multiple disgruntled posts on this forum). Additionally, you'll be an officer, so almost 2/3 of eligible military personnel are "off-limits" because of no-fraternization rules.

4. No undergraduate campus here to "cradle rob" from.

IMHO, choosing a med school based on the chances of meeting someone is generally a bad idea, but you're not me. I think med school and starting/maintaining a relationship can be somewhat antagonistic, but only as much as you let it be. In the grand scheme of things, I don't think USUHS represents a better or worse opportunity than any other medical school in this regard.

Good luck,

 

[tinkerbelle]

I was accepted to USUHS as well, but in the end, I decided to decline my acceptance for a few reasons. Like you, I am a single female who wants to eventually get married and have a family. It didn't really bother me that so many USUHS students are already married. I think you'll find that at a lot of med schools. Maybe the percentage won't be as high, but you'll still have your fair share of married/engaged/LTR people wherever you go to school.

One of my biggest concerns was finding a guy that would be willing to move around with me every few years. Sometimes I think it's easier for a woman to quit her job and follow her husband around. But unless your future husband has a really flexible job or does something always in demand (like teaching), he's going to have a rough time moving with you all the time. All married couples fight, but the military lifestyle just seems like an added stress... especially when it's the guy that has to make the sacrifices.

One of my other concerns was having to leave my kids while on deployment. My dad was a pilot for the Navy and he never seemed to be around. I love my dad and all, but I felt like I barely know him. And I don't want to feel like a stranger to my own kids. I mean, we're going to be busy enough as doctors, being a military physician just seems like another barrier to having the perfect family that I want.

I had a few other reasons, but my post is getting kinda long There are a bunch of really great things about the military though. So you need to weigh the pros and cons and see which things are more important.

Do you have any other options besides USUHS? Or is this your only acceptance?

At any rate, good luck with your decision

 

[ishii123]

Do you have any other options besides USUHS? Or is this your only acceptance?

At any rate, good luck with your decision

I concur. Do you have options? Have you been accepted to another medical school besides USUHS?

Being accepted to medical school is a once in a lifetime opportunity not many people are fortunate to have. So if USUHS is your only acceptance and you truly feel medicine is your calling, then I say take it.

It's funny that you talk about the student population at USUHS. I'm male and one of the reasons I did not go to USUHS was because the typical student population was predominantly male (males usually make up greater than 2/3 of the class) and the students are usually older and married. I just came out of college, was young, single, and male...and I wanted to hangout with my fellow classmates (especially the attractive females ). But USUHS did not offer that student population...so I went to med school in NYC and had a BLAST! I do not regret my decision

 

[USAF MD '05]

As trivial as this may sound, family is very important to me

,

There is nothing trivial aboutfamily at all...

My 2 cents...unless military med is your only route into school, I wouldn't do it. The contract that you sign today, at 34 will take you untill you are 48 at a minimum, assuming only a 3 year residency. This is not an issue if you are interested in being a military doc for your career, but is huge when you are just doing it for the money. I'm sure you've read the FAQs and other posts, but I can't stress it enough...do NOT do this for the money. You will be moved, and in the GWOT you will be deployed. This is hard when the father is gone, but I could not imagine the stresses if the mom was suddenly out of the picture for 6 months. I don't mean to sound sexist or old fashioned, but I know how much my wife means to the cohesiveness of our family. When I'm gone, everything seems to go OK, though with a little more stress. When she is gone for an overnight trip, my head nearly explodes!!

To sum up- if you want to be a military officer..go for it. If not, or even if you only think you might, wait. Get loans, secure a residency, then call the FAP program. If military med is your only option at this point, you would be better to spend a year polishing your CV and trying again next year, than to commit the rest of your thirties and most of your forties to something you seem to have so many reservations about. Hope this helps a little.

 

[BOHICA-FIGMO]

Hi all -

I was just accepted off of the waitlist into USUHS and am really torn about going for a number of reasons - the main one of which is personal. I am in my mid 34's, single and female and really want to be get married and have a family in addition to my career. But I understand that 60% of the incoming students are already married with kids and certainly the rigors of the program are not going to allow for a whole lot of extra-curricular searching for a partner, especially one who will adapt to the military lifestyle.

As trivial as this may sound, family is very important to me , as is medicine - and I do not want to sacrifice one over the other. Any insight and feedback would be tremendously helpful as I have to give me decision ASAP!

Thank you!

Don't do it! Reject their acceptance so the rest of us can gt off the waitlist !

Seriously, here are the plusses/minuses. Plus side: the military medical corps (at least the USAF) is about 65-70% male/30-35% female. In the USAF overall it is 80/20 or about 85/15 in the Army. So, lots of fish iin the sea. If you marry one of those 80%, you get joint-spouse preference for assignments (although the USAF's definition of a joint spouse assignment can be quite dubious at times). Negatives, one negative might be your age. Most military men who are >34 in the military are already married/engaged. Second, deployments would force you away from your family for years at a time. Right now the "standard" USAF deployment is 120 days, I think the Navy is 180 days, and the Army is 360 days or more. Third, you would have to move every two-three years while in the military. Just my opinion for what it is worth.

 

[militarymd]

As trivial as this may sound, family is very important to me , as is medicine - and I do not want to sacrifice one over the other.

You have unreasonable expectations. There will always be sacrifice of one over the other to some degree.

 

[backrow]

I concur. Do you have options? Have you been accepted to another medical school besides USUHS?

Being accepted to medical school is a once in a lifetime opportunity not many people are fortunate to have. So if USUHS is your only acceptance and you truly feel medicine is your calling, then I say take it.

It's funny that you talk about the student population at USUHS. I'm male and one of the reasons I did not go to USUHS was because the typical student population was predominantly male (males usually make up greater than 2/3 of the class) and the students are usually older and married. I just came out of college, was young, single, and male...and I wanted to hangout with my fellow classmates (especially the attractive females ). But USUHS did not offer that student population...so I went to med school in NYC and had a BLAST! I do not regret my decision

I gotta disagree with you on the male student body. I think your 2/3rds male statistic is insanely high. I think it's almost half and half nowadays. And yes we do have alot of married/older people, but there were still plenty of singles. And for guys I think DC has a very high percentage of single females working on the Hill. although granted DC in no way compares to NYC as I've lived in both.

 

[USAFdoc]

if you want these things, your best bet is to go civilian; this will give you the freedom to choose where you live; and with the sad shape military medicine is in (in most locations) it is your best bet in that regard as well.