Advice on deferral due to family issue

[BillytheMD]

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Hi everyone, long time lurker here

A question about deferral, but first some background

I was very fortunate to receive an acceptance off of waitlist a few weeks ago from a medical school that I regard very highly. I have already sent in my deposit and have been getting together my financial information as well. However, I recently went to the physician with my mother due to her recurrent ankle problems and to follow up on a knee sprain she suffered after falling down the stairs in the beginning of the year. To make a long story short, it turns out one of the major ligaments in her ankle is almost entirely torn. She has been having significant problems when she tries to walk on it, particularly when going up and down stairs. It's possible she might need surgery to correct it if two more rounds of PRP don't help. I hadn't known her ankle had deteriorated this far as she seemed to hide it pretty well from me because she didn't want to distract me during the application cycle.

I've been jumping off walls with excitement since my acceptance, but I now find myself in a bit of a dilemma. Would it be possible to ask for a deferral to next year's class so that I can take care of her for a year while she recovers? Or should I hope that PRP works and just continue with my plans? I don't mind waiting another year to enter if it means my mother won't have to deal with this problem anymore. I feel it's the least I can do considering the sacrifices she's made for me and I can find a scribe program or do research for a year. I'm also the only one that can take care of her as my father is still recovering from an accident he suffered last summer.

I have read here that my school is somewhat deferral friendly.
I really appreciate any and all advice. 🙂

 

[BABSstudent]

Hi everyone, long time lurker here

A question about deferral, but first some background

I was very fortunate to receive an acceptance off of waitlist a few weeks ago from a medical school that I regard very highly. I have already sent in my deposit and have been getting together my financial information as well. However, I recently went to the physician with my mother due to her recurrent ankle problems and to follow up on a knee sprain she suffered after falling down the stairs in the beginning of the year. To make a long story short, it turns out one of the major ligaments in her ankle is almost entirely torn. She has been having significant problems when she tries to walk on it, particularly when going up and down stairs. It's possible she might need surgery to correct it if two more rounds of PRP don't help. I hadn't known her ankle had deteriorated this far as she seemed to hide it pretty well from me because she didn't want to distract me during the application cycle.

I've been jumping off walls with excitement since my acceptance, but I now find myself in a bit of a dilemma. Would it be possible to ask for a deferral to next year's class so that I can take care of her for a year while she recovers? Or should I hope that PRP works and just continue with my plans? I don't mind waiting another year to enter if it means my mother won't have to deal with this problem anymore. I feel it's the least I can do considering the sacrifices she's made for me and I can find a scribe program or do research for a year. I'm also the only one that can take care of her as my father is still recovering from an accident he suffered last summer.

I have read here that my school is somewhat deferral friendly.
I really appreciate any and all advice. 🙂

It seems a little late to be asking for a deferral.

But I am sure your mom can handle everything herself and can get a nurse to check on her occasionally if there is literally nobody else that can help out.

 

[jaksmith]

Absolutely ask your school for a deferral, especially for a situation like this. At worst they say no, it's not like your acceptance is revoked.

 

[Ismet]

OP, I think a deferral might be possible, but contact your school ASAP.

It seems a little late to be asking for a deferral.

But I am sure your mom can handle everything herself and can get a nurse to check on her occasionally if there is literally nobody else that can help out.

It's not that easy to handle everything yourself after a major leg injury, especially if she's getting surgery and will probably have to be completely off that leg for several weeks. I broke my ankle this past winter and my mom had to come stay with me for a month because I couldn't drive, couldn't go down/up stairs to do laundry, I live off campus so I couldn't get to school, etc. It's amazing how debilitating a leg injury can be.

 

[Hulk Smash]

Any idea what the surgery is for? What exactly would occur during the procedure? ... Just because I'm curious

 

[shenellica]

Does your mom have anyone else who can help out? How far is the school? Have you asked your mom if she wants you to stay? I personally wouldn't want a deferral if it seemed like my mom would make it out ok. But if you feel it's serious then it can't hurt to ask.

 

[cerno]

I think the best you can do is figure out the levels of care she would need in each scenario and whether your presence would make a legitimate difference in her livelihood or whether you are concerned. Would her needs necessitate that specifically you be there for her?

My philosophy is that family should always come first and foremost, but sometimes it's good to take a step back.

 

[BillytheMD]

Well, we are going to consult with a specialist later this week. There are several reasons why she would need me to be there. It seems like she'll be out of commission for at least a few months and that's a problem considering she manages our family business. I could step in and take over while she's recovering. She has also had chronic back pain due to a lack of cartilage in her back for a really long time which would only get worse during the recovery in addition to bad knees. Our house has a lot of stairs and it would be very difficult for her to move up and down the stairs to get food, leave for therapy, etc while on crutches. I could do things like make food for her, take her to therapy, do laundry, basically make sure she doesn't further aggravate her other problems. I learned through my own surgery how important those first few months are, especially when it comes to pain, management of the affected area and just adapting to daily life.

My hope is that the PRP treatments work out for her, but even then it takes 3-6 weeks to see any effect and the last thing I want is to get a call from her saying surgery is needed while I'm an MS1.

If someone else could come and take care of her during that time, I probably wouldn't even be considering deferral.

The school is a two hour flight away from here.

 

[mvenus929]

Call the admissions office and explain your situation. Ask if it's possible for you to defer. The worst thing they can say is no, and then you'll have your answer and can make other arrangements.

 

[supafly0]

My mom tore her peroneus brevis two years ago and is still recovering even after podiatric surgery and physical therapy. My questions for you are:

What are you going to do on a day to day basis while at home with mom?
How much about managing a business/ how much experience do you have on that front?
Can your mother live downstairs for a bit? (I'm currently living downstairs at my parent's house and heck I haven't seen the upstairs of the house in like half a month)
What would make your mom happier? What would make you happier?

While it is touching, thoughtful, and nice that you want to help your mom. I'm sure your mom wants you to pursue your dreams especially at a school you love so much.

As for the deferral if you're off the waitlist what's in their interest to not straight up say no to your deferral and move on to the next person on the waitlist who's willing to attend that year?

Ultimately it's up to you, but make an informed decision! Good luck!

 

[mvenus929]

As for the deferral if you're off the waitlist what's in their interest to not straight up say no to your deferral and move on to the next person on the waitlist who's willing to attend that year?

OP has already been admitted (off the waitlist). If they turn down the deferral, then he/she will start school in the fall. If they grant the deferral, they would pull someone off the waitlist to fill that spot. The OP will not lose an acceptance for asking for a deferral.

 

[BillytheMD]

My mom tore her peroneus brevis two years ago and is still recovering even after podiatric surgery and physical therapy. My questions for you are:

What are you going to do on a day to day basis while at home with mom?
How much about managing a business/ how much experience do you have on that front?
Can your mother live downstairs for a bit? (I'm currently living downstairs at my parent's house and heck I haven't seen the upstairs of the house in like half a month)
What would make your mom happier? What would make you happier?

While it is touching, thoughtful, and nice that you want to help your mom. I'm sure your mom wants you to pursue your dreams especially at a school you love so much.

As for the deferral if you're off the waitlist what's in their interest to not straight up say no to your deferral and move on to the next person on the waitlist who's willing to attend that year?

Ultimately it's up to you, but make an informed decision! Good luck!

Unfortunately, living downstairs wouldn't be an option for my mother as all the bedrooms are on the upper floor and there wouldn't be space to fit a bed that would be comfortable for her. I'm pretty experienced at taking care of her as I've had to help her for other problems in the past.

My mother and I have spent time talking about it, her opinion is just for me to do what I want to do. Going to medical school has been a dream for so long and I'm ecstatic about attending, but if I can solve this problem, I have no issue with spending the year taking care of her. Besides, she will progress as time passes and that would eventually give me time to partake in more research or clinical experiences. Additionally, I've been the assistant manager of our business for quite a while and know the ins and outs pretty well so I would be a huge help there.

If I do go forward and ask for a deferral, does anyone know how it works with AMCAS? I've read that I resubmit in a different classification? Would I have to resend LORs or transcripts?

I really appreciate all the advice everyone has posted, it's quite helpful 🙂