Am I being Irrational?

[fever106]

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Ok, I know everyone is stressing about match week, but I think I might fall apart. I consider myself a decent candidate: 247 step 1, top 20% (not AOA) at a respected, but not top tier eastern med school, almost all clinical honors, including in medicine and my subi, and excellent LORs. I applied for IM only in southern california, received interviews at every place I applied, and ranked 10 programs.

However, I have been having a run of bad luck lately and I have a horrible sinking feeling about the upcoming days. In the past few days my beloved dog has gotten injured (he may need surgery), my mom's flight out to see me has been delayed multiple times and ultimately cancelled because of bad weather (now she probably wont be with me for moral support on match day), and I have experienced about a dozen other smaller mishaps (cut my hand cooking, dropped a weight on my foot at the gym, missed the train to one of my rotations and showed up late, soaking wet because I forgot an umbrella, etc). Now I know this may sound silly, but I am afraid this might all be some sort of sign that worse things are in store in the coming days. I have had many nightmares, ranging from getting the "sorry, you did not match" email to matching at my bottom choice. I am really frightened, and I think I might even be experiencing some depression. My life is really not going well right now (I'm also having some family problems), and I feel like I'm just waiting for the next shoe to drop. Does anyone feel like they are going through the same thing, or superstitious right now?

 

[SukaNeNauka]

Honestly, get a grip! If you are going to be such a nerve rack when patients die in front of you, you will not make it far in your medical career. I am sure you are looking for someone to say that you should not worry and that your mom will make it on time to hold your hand while you open your email, but you are not getting sympathy from me. You will match if you deserve to match. Same goes for everyone else who is going through the match.

Ok, so I have to edit my original post because it does sound a little unsympathetic. I am sure you will match, do not worry. Try to relax in the mean time. I think a lot of people are experiencing same things as you, but luckily most of our fears are unfounded. Just look at your stats, and you are applying to IM, and you received interviews everywhere you applied. These are great signs that you will match, and most likely at your top choice. Having said this stuff, I still would like to see less paranoia on this forum, it is not healthy.

 

[JeffLebowski]

Ok, I know everyone is stressing about match week, but I think I might fall apart. I consider myself a decent candidate: 247 step 1, top 20% (not AOA) at a respected, but not top tier eastern med school, almost all clinical honors, including in medicine and my subi, and excellent LORs. I applied for IM only in southern california, received interviews at every place I applied, and ranked 10 programs.

However, I have been having a run of bad luck lately and I have a horrible sinking feeling about the upcoming days. In the past few days my beloved dog has gotten injured (he may need surgery), my mom's flight out to see me has been delayed multiple times and ultimately cancelled because of bad weather (now she probably wont be with me for moral support on match day), and I have experienced about a dozen other smaller mishaps (cut my hand cooking, dropped a weight on my foot at the gym, missed the train to one of my rotations and showed up late, soaking wet because I forgot an umbrella, etc). Now I know this may sound silly, but I am afraid this might all be some sort of sign that worse things are in store in the coming days. I have had many nightmares, ranging from getting the "sorry, you did not match" email to matching at my bottom choice. I am really frightened, and I think I might even be experiencing some depression. My life is really not going well right now (I'm also having some family problems), and I feel like I'm just waiting for the next shoe to drop. Does anyone feel like they are going through the same thing, or superstitious right now?

Yeah, that's irrational.

But, if it helps, you're building up good karma, you're due for the universe to balance itself out with something good.

 

[Flapjacks]

Sounds like an episode from a night time medical drama.

Stop being dramatic.

 

[fever106]

I did not write my post with an "oh, poor me" intention. I know that most of these things are minor incidents that happen to people every day. I just feel like a dark cloud is hovering over me right now. It is like too much bad stuff is happening all at once to be coincidence (there are about a half a dozen other things I didn't mention). I am not typically a superstitious person, but I was just wondering of other people are feeling like they are about to plummet off the deep end because of this process. I like the idea of it being time for karma to shift in the other direction though 🙂 And for the poster who said people match if they deserve to match...that is not entirely true. No process like this is ever completely and totally fair.

 

[MacchinaDaCaffe]

Ok, I know everyone is stressing about match week, but I think I might fall apart. I consider myself a decent candidate: 247 step 1, top 20% (not AOA) at a respected, but not top tier eastern med school, almost all clinical honors, including in medicine and my subi, and excellent LORs. I applied for IM only in southern california, received interviews at every place I applied, and ranked 10 programs.

However, I have been having a run of bad luck lately and I have a horrible sinking feeling about the upcoming days. In the past few days my beloved dog has gotten injured (he may need surgery), my mom's flight out to see me has been delayed multiple times and ultimately cancelled because of bad weather (now she probably wont be with me for moral support on match day), and I have experienced about a dozen other smaller mishaps (cut my hand cooking, dropped a weight on my foot at the gym, missed the train to one of my rotations and showed up late, soaking wet because I forgot an umbrella, etc). Now I know this may sound silly, but I am afraid this might all be some sort of sign that worse things are in store in the coming days. I have had many nightmares, ranging from getting the "sorry, you did not match" email to matching at my bottom choice. I am really frightened, and I think I might even be experiencing some depression. My life is really not going well right now (I'm also having some family problems), and I feel like I'm just waiting for the next shoe to drop. Does anyone feel like they are going through the same thing, or superstitious right now?

I definitely feel stressed if that's what you mean. But I think it is absurd to believe that the events that happen to us in the present in any way portend the result of a non-related event that will occur in the future. So yes, you are being extremely irrational. Also, if I were given $5 for every time I had a "bad feeling" about something, whether it be worry about failing step 2 cs or getting a poor evaluation, and ended up being wrong - then I probably could pay off my student loans with that money.

It's human nature to be nervous - after all, the last 4 years of our life have been leading up to this one momentous day - but as others have said, you have amazing stats and should have no trouble getting into residency. To put things in perspective, I'm not as strong of an applicant and only got interviews at about half of the places I applied to in SoCal and thus had to round out my rank list with programs in other parts of the country which for personal reasons I'd rather not be.

Hope your dog gets better and that match works out well for you next week!

 

[md2010sgu]

Don't be superstitious... let your hardwork, stellar application speak for itself. Your an awesome applicant, and especially for IM your a shoe in at the socal programs . Let us know which program you matched at so we can give each other

 

[fever106]

Thank you guys so much for your kind words. I really appreciate it. I hope you all get what you want in the match 🙂