“Am I contagious?”

[skougess]

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I can at least fathom a 65 year old feeling bad enough to come to the ER for what ends up being just a cold. But how come when I tell them this, the response from them is UTTER bewilderment at this rare exotic diagnosis.

“What do I do now??”
“When will this get better?”
“IS THIS CONTAGIOUS???”

M’am, you are 65 years old. Do whatever the f you’ve been doing for colds every year since you were born.

 

[Birdstrike]

Oy vey

 

[skougess]

Oy vey

If this was once a decade, I’d laugh, but it’s a weekly occurrence. Just bizarre.

 

[JacobMcCandles]

“Stupidity is always contagious.”

 

[Birdstrike]

“Stupidity is always contagious.”

And incurable

 

[bravotwozero]

I can at least fathom a 65 year old feeling bad enough to come to the ER for what ends up being just a cold. But how come when I tell them this, the response from them is UTTER bewilderment at this rare exotic diagnosis.

“What do I do now??”
“When will this get better?”
“IS THIS CONTAGIOUS???”

M’am, you are 65 years old. Do whatever the f you’ve been doing for colds every year since you were born.

Are their mouths gaping half open when you explain to them their diagnosis?

 

[BoardingDoc]

My favorite interaction in a similar vein of stupidity was when I was working a shift in urgent care during a busy flu season.

I stroll into the room and see a middle aged dude in a suit who looks perfectly fine.

Me: So what brought you in?
Him: I'm worried I'm going to get sick.
Me: Going to get sick? As in, you're not currently sick?
Him: Yeah, I feel fine. But it's been a while and I just feel like I'm due, you know?
Me: I just want to clarify. You feel perfectly fine, but were worried that you might become ill. So you came to a building which is definitionally full of sick people in order to get checked out?
Him: <eyes widen slightly>
Me: Yeah man, lets get you out of here as fast as humanly possible. I recommend holding your breath on the way to the elevator.

 

[VA Hopeful Dr]

 

[Bittersteel]

Here we see the American NPC who runs to seek medical evaluation the second they experience any sensation in their body.

 

[Birdstrike]

It is human nature to refuse to believe that a minor illness must simply run its course.

 

[skougess]

It is human nature to refuse to believe that a minor illness must simply run its course.

The craziest thing is the patient that comes in year after year for a cold. Being told the same thing every time and being discharged without improvement every time.

 

[Birdstrike]

The craziest thing is the patient that comes in year after year for a cold. Being told the same thing every time and being discharged without improvement every time.

Then, they try a placebo and magically recover. "Dirty socks wrapped around my neck, dried lizard soup and onions in the underwear cured me again!"

 

[VA Hopeful Dr]

Then, they try a placebo and magically recover. "Dirty socks wrapped around my neck, dried lizard soup and onions in the underwear cured me again!"

I will 100% support said placebo. "Sure, wrap a Twizzler around your penis to treat that bronchitis". Better than unnecessary antibiotics.

 

[skougess]

I will 100% support said placebo. "Sure, wrap a Twizzler around your penis to treat that bronchitis". Better than unnecessary antibiotics.

I find it does help to be brutally honest with patients. “Antibiotics will wont help and will actually give you diarrhea and nausea and make your symptoms worse. Urgent care only prescribes antibiotics for this because they just want you to leave asap.”

On the flip side, I have a low threshold to prescribe a prednisone party favor for patients who aren’t 80 years old and don’t have diabetes.