Am I Normal?

[radoncmonkey]

I graduated last summer and initially loved my job. However, these last few months I while studying for oral boards, I have had a hard time stomaching the thought of going to work each morning. I hate my job...even though I loved it before boards studying began. The little things that I used to have a higher threshold of annoyance for now nearly push me over the edge. My patients who used to inspire me now depress me.

I have a highly sought after position and objectively I know my job is probably not the issue..I think it's me. I'm either clinically depressed or just in a boards funk..

What I'd like to know from others is..did you experience a similar dissatisfaction and did you recover after boards? I think I'm just resentful of this whole process..I had a few months of tasting the good life..then it was back to being a resident basically..I think that's what has me blue.

Another thing is the feeling of "settling down" has been oddly disconcerting..putting down roots, etc. I was in this rhythm of moving every few years for school and residency, etc..and now there's no change on the horizon, so I'm strangely struggling with that thought..which surprises me too because I wanted to be done with that life. I guess there's something attractive about the vagrant life? I dunno..just rambling.

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[Gfunk6]

I can relate. Around this time last year I was EXTREMELY stressed and freaking out. I generally consider myself a collected and calm person but I found myself becoming easily irritated by small things. Everyone could see the stress in my face.

After boards, completely back to normal.

The oral board exam is just a completely different beast than what most of us are used to. There are simply too many unknowns and people always freak out about 'worst case scenarios.' After the exam, 99% of examinees think that they failed.

Trust me, it will get better . . .

 

[napoleondynamite]

Monkey - I feel you. I'm in a dark place too..two and a half weeks from now I don't think we'll care about passing anymore, we'll just be glad it's over!

 

[deleted4401]

I completely feel you. I'm about to be partner and I feel the same way still, boards passed and all.
PM if you want.

 

[jaycar0]

The "what now?" thought seems to be pretty common one. You may find this essay interesting:

http://hellogiggles.com/the-problem-of-what-now

 

[medgator]

Ive become bitter and jaded.

The light at the end of the tunnel (hopefully) happens the friday after you take your orals when you get that special email in your inbox to login and check your status.

It's definitely better after that (even with that MOC stuff for the rest of your practicing life).

 

[hot sauce]

This thread should be hidden from medical students and junior residents.

Wish I had some sage advice for you guys but I don't. So just hang in there.

 

[napoleondynamite]

Dude, the radiologists who have to sit for the orals this year have gotta be so dang ticked. I wonder if they would actually fail anyone this year or if it's just a kind of formality for them to show up..