Any other med students not really like the med school social scene?

[sillymeh]

I probably shouldn't complain about med school, but here I am. I'm just wondering if any other med students out there honestly just aren't big fans of the med school social scene? I feel like we're supposed to see med school classes as these big, extended families, but I generally feel the opposite. My class is mega cliquish, and a huge chunk of folks I encounter seem like they just graduated from 3rd grade. Sure, they're book smart and can memorize factoids like no one's business, but it really feels like I'm swimming in a sea of overgrown sociopathic children sometimes. Emotional intelligence, empathy and interest in things not medical school related are rare sightings these days. Sometimes I just look around and feel this profound sense of disconnect from like 90% of my class. There are definitely good people around, but whenever I'm on campus it just feels like I'm surrounded by a lot of raging narcissists and high school antics. Ok, enough. Anyway, if anyone else feels this way sometimes let me know. I'd love to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way.

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[Mad Jack]

I probably shouldn't complain about med school, but here I am. I'm just wondering if any other med students out there honestly just aren't big fans of the med school social scene? I feel like we're supposed to see med school classes as these big, extended families, but I generally feel the opposite. My class is mega cliquish, and a huge chunk of folks I encounter seem like they just graduated from 3rd grade. Sure, they're book smart and can memorize factoids like no one's business, but it really feels like I'm swimming in a sea of overgrown sociopathic children sometimes. Emotional intelligence, empathy and interest in things not medical school related are rare sightings these days. Sometimes I just look around and feel this profound sense of disconnect from like 90% of my class. There are definitely good people around, but whenever I'm on campus it just feels like I'm surrounded by a lot of raging narcissists and high school antics. Ok, enough. Anyway, if anyone else feels this way sometimes let me know. I'd love to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way.

Medical school feels more like a high school full of idealists than it does like college or the working world. However, these people do grow and change as the years pass and will become wonderful people more often than not in the end, as the journey tends to mature people quickly, particularly in third year and beyond. So make friends now if you can, and don't think yourself above your peers, because they will in all likelihood rapidly catch up with and even surpass you.

 

[Espressso]

I probably shouldn't complain about med school, but here I am. I'm just wondering if any other med students out there honestly just aren't big fans of the med school social scene? I feel like we're supposed to see med school classes as these big, extended families, but I generally feel the opposite. My class is mega cliquish, and a huge chunk of folks I encounter seem like they just graduated from 3rd grade. Sure, they're book smart and can memorize factoids like no one's business, but it really feels like I'm swimming in a sea of overgrown sociopathic children sometimes. Emotional intelligence, empathy and interest in things not medical school related are rare sightings these days. Sometimes I just look around and feel this profound sense of disconnect from like 90% of my class. There are definitely good people around, but whenever I'm on campus it just feels like I'm surrounded by a lot of raging narcissists and high school antics. Ok, enough. Anyway, if anyone else feels this way sometimes let me know. I'd love to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way.

It's like this at every medical school. Are you a non-trad? I feel like these feelings hit you harder if you come into medical school already much older than the average classmate. Your description is spot on though.

 

[sillymeh]

Medical school feels more like a high school full of idealists than it does like college or the working world. However, these people do grow and change as the years pass and will become wonderful people more often than not in the end, as the journey tends to mature people quickly, particularly in third year and beyond. So make friends now if you can, and don't think yourself above your peers, because they will in all likelihood rapidly catch up with and even surpass you.

I appreciate your not so shaded criticism. Peace and love.

 

[GastriqueGraffin]

Put a bunch of type A personalities without real world experience together who know how to bs and put on a friendly face, make them work harder than they ever have only to realize that just because they got straight As without effort in undergrad they won’t be top of their class and you get the medical school social scene. Residency and after residency is much better from my experience.

 

[QueenJames]

Right there with you OP.

The only thing that sucks about MY medical school is the other medical students.

REALLY makes me question our interview process.

Bunch of crybaby... type A... narcissistic... never-had-a-real-job-in-their-lives.... come-from-mommy-and-daddy-money... always lying... and pure INSECURE group of folks.

I'm scared that once residency starts... I'll have to WORK with some of these type of people from different medical schools.

It really sucks.

 

[QueenJames]

Put a bunch of type A personalities without real world experience together who know how to bs and put on a friendly face, make them work harder than they ever have only to realize that just because they got straight As without effort in undergrad they won’t be top of their class and you get the medical school social scene. Residency and after residency is much better from my experience.

Do u really think so???

Are people just more chill by then or atleast a bit more humbled?

 

[GastriqueGraffin]

Do u really think so???

Are people just more chill by then or atleast a bit more humbled?

Type As go to certain fields that others generally don’t while others in the same residency field stop feeling like they are in competition.

 

[Pam_Beesley]

Third year gets interesting. Some of the sunshiny, idealistic people who find med school to be just AMAZING start to come down to earth. Others, not so much. The different ideas of third year are hilarious. There are people who think they are absolutely essential to the team and play this huge role vs. those who realize that we often create a lot of extra work for the residents. They somehow manage to function just fine when we are on break. I used to think that separated those who do well on clerkships vs. those who don't. Boy, was I wrong about that. I think it might have to do with who you work with as residents.

OP, there are likely people who feel the same way as you. Become closer with them. You don't have to be best friends with everyone in the class. Just try to keep a strong working relationship with them, particularly once you hit the rotations. It doesn't hurt to not get super involved in the social scene with your class, but you should try to maintain a good working relationship and work well with them on rotations.

 

[GastriqueGraffin]

One more piece of advice that was given to me as a med student that I found to be very true is when deciding on a specialty, interact with those people in the specialty and see if their personalities align with yours. People who want to be neurosurgeons are very different than people who want to go to family med for example.

 

[Aerus]

Medical school selects for these people. We all have it within ourselves. I mean, you made a thread complaining about people who generally keep to themselves on an anonymous internet forums! Embrace it and treat med school like a transient job that you just have to work through to get to your next destination in life.

 

[libertyyne]

One more piece of advice that was given to me as a med student that I found to be very true is when deciding on a specialty, interact with those people in the specialty and see if their personalities align with yours. People who want to be neurosurgeons are very different than people who want to go to family med for example.

Although a lot of Truth to this advice. I feel like the home program culture varies and may give a false impression especially in small fields.

 

[flightnurse2MD]

I probably shouldn't complain about med school, but here I am. I'm just wondering if any other med students out there honestly just aren't big fans of the med school social scene? I feel like we're supposed to see med school classes as these big, extended families, but I generally feel the opposite. My class is mega cliquish, and a huge chunk of folks I encounter seem like they just graduated from 3rd grade. Sure, they're book smart and can memorize factoids like no one's business, but it really feels like I'm swimming in a sea of overgrown sociopathic children sometimes. Emotional intelligence, empathy and interest in things not medical school related are rare sightings these days. Sometimes I just look around and feel this profound sense of disconnect from like 90% of my class. There are definitely good people around, but whenever I'm on campus it just feels like I'm surrounded by a lot of raging narcissists and high school antics. Ok, enough. Anyway, if anyone else feels this way sometimes let me know. I'd love to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way.

Medical school is nothing more than an extension of undergrad with high school dynamics...

 

[SouthernGent]

Medical school is nothing more than an extension of undergrad with high school dynamics...

Preach. So many cliques... Not all bad, but man it is crazy some days.

 

[siliso]

You can find your people though. Maybe there’s only a few but you might connect with them through ethics and humanities interest groups, outreach clinic or other service opportunities, or making meaningful connections with educators who inspire you. After all you’re trying to be like them, not necessarily like your cohort mates, when you “grow up.” Also fine to find your social support outside of medical school via family, religious community, or other community groups that are meaningful to you.

For me I was way past the median age and way outside the average interests of my classmates, except for the few I connected with via some combo of above. Med school social environs generally seemed most like a frat house full of drunks than a high school of idealists, in preclinical years. I did not resonate or relate with their general priorities, at all. And it all turned out fine and more than fine for me in the end.

 

[Durty-Trixxx]

Your experience sounds rather typical, unfortunately.

First two years of med school are one big "look at me, I'm a special snowflake" freakshow. Too many Type A over-achievers crammed into one building and out to prove they are the big fish in the little pond. Many of them are straight outta college on parent's money so they never had "real" jobs where they had to learn the humility of getting along with others and pleasing the customer and getting chewed out by the boss.

Just do the best you can to survive the high school drama because it's only two years of BS and it goes by really quick. Clinical years tends to mellow people out because they get humbled rather quickly by attendings/residents and long hours. For what it's worth, try to make friends with the older non-trad students because they will usually have more stable personalities and can teach you a lot of wisdom about stress and work and keeping things in perspective. I was 23 as an MS1 and one of my best friends turned out to be a 42 yr. old guy who was married and had two small kids and worked 20 years as a sales rep.

 

[Pam_Beesley]

Your experience sounds rather typical, unfortunately.

First two years of med school are one big "look at me, I'm a special snowflake" freakshow. Too many Type A over-achievers crammed into one building and out to prove they are the big fish in the little pond. Many of them are straight outta college on parent's money so they never had "real" jobs where they had to learn the humility of getting along with others and pleasing the customer and getting chewed out by the boss.

Just do the best you can to survive the high school drama because it's only two years of BS and it goes by really quick. Clinical years tends to mellow people out because they get humbled rather quickly by attendings/residents and long hours. For what it's worth, try to make friends with the older non-trad students because they will usually have more stable personalities and can teach you a lot of wisdom about stress and work and keeping things in perspective. I was 23 as an MS1 and one of my best friends turned out to be a 42 yr. old guy who was married and had two small kids and worked 20 years as a sales rep.

This. 100%.

 

[Anti-PD1]

This. 100%.

Agree with your 100%, 100%.

Working in retail was an experience for me. Climb a 15' ladder and bring down a leather chair from the top shelf? Ok. Move reams of paper from one palette to the other? Ok. Handle geriatric customers looking for refills to their WWII era pens? Ok. (This sounds like I worked at Dunder Mifflin).

Honestly, in my mind, clinical volunteering>real work experience>>>>>> everything else when it comes to being ready for medical school.

Perspective. If you don't have perspective, you will not be happy in the delayed gratification, apprenticeship world that is medicine.

 

[AnatomyGrey12]

Working in retail was an experience for me. Climb a 15' ladder and bring down a leather chair from the top shelf? Ok. Move reams of paper from one palette to the other? Ok. Handle geriatric customers looking for refills to their WWII era pens? Ok. (This sounds like I worked at Dunder Mifflin).

Dwigt? Is that you?

 

[Anti-PD1]

Dwigt? Is that you?

 

[Chelsea FC]

I love the social scene at my school. They are cliques/groups but everyone pretty much hangs out with each other when they have the chance. I have a group of friends who I hang out with mostly and female group of friends that we normally pregame with. The whole high-school special snow flake behavior isn' something I see alot. Also we have a few older students/ non traditional students and they are absolutely amazing.

 

[WingedOx]

Although a lot of Truth to this advice. I feel like the home program culture varies and may give a false impression especially in small fields.

Yeah... Program culture can vary widely regardless. My residency shared a clinical site with another residency and we had to cross cover for one another. The culture differences were almost hilariously stark on my IM rotations. The other program's residents didn't feel anything wrong with trying to sign out early to cross coverage, sometimes obnoxiously so. Our program was very much in the mold of "if that phone rings at 4:59:59, it's your f-cking problem, not mine." In truth I liked our culture better for that. It prevented people from abusing other residents.

or summarized from a co-worker about a month ago, "I swear, people who didn't train at [our program] are all p-ssy ass bitches"

 

[libertyyne]

Yeah... Program culture can vary widely regardless. My residency shared a clinical site with another residency and we had to cross cover for one another. The culture differences were almost hilariously stark on my IM rotations. The other program's residents didn't feel anything wrong with trying to sign out early to cross coverage, sometimes obnoxiously so. Our program was very much in the mold of "if that phone rings at 4:59:59, it's your f-cking problem, not mine." In truth I liked our culture better for that. It prevented people from abusing other residents.

or summarized from a co-worker about a month ago, "I swear, people who didn't train at [our program] are all p-ssy ass bitches"

I thought part of the deal of being a physician was being put through the wringer and coming out the other-side being able to deal with difficult personalities, patients, schedules, etc. It seems like a lot of my colleagues take issue with this idea.

 

[KnuxNole]

I thought part of the deal of being a physician was being put through the wringer and coming out the other-side being able to deal with difficult personalities, patients, schedules, etc. It seems like a lot of my colleagues take issue with this idea.

That’s the problem, a lot of your colleagues didn’t sign that deal. They want to be a physician and not deal with the difficult stuff, or rather pawn it off to other people to deal it for them and they can sit pretty without breaking a sweat or changing their personality.

 

[GastriqueGraffin]

Although a lot of Truth to this advice. I feel like the home program culture varies and may give a false impression especially in small fields.

I agree there is a lot of variation program to program and person to person. But in general each generally attracts a certain type of person. Heck, this has even pubmed Assessment of personality type and medical specialty choice among medical students from Karachi; using Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) tool. - PubMed - NCBI

People who go to the wrong fields for the wrong reasons in general will never be happy and will struggle both professionally and personally.

 

[libertyyne]

I agree there is a lot of variation program to program and person to person. But in general each generally attracts a certain type of person. Heck, this has even pubmed Assessment of personality type and medical specialty choice among medical students from Karachi; using Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) tool. - PubMed - NCBI

People who go to the wrong fields for the wrong reasons in general will never be happy and will struggle both professionally and personally.

This publication assumes MBTI is a static construct tho.

 

[Pam_Beesley]

Agree with your 100%, 100%.

Working in retail was an experience for me. Climb a 15' ladder and bring down a leather chair from the top shelf? Ok. Move reams of paper from one palette to the other? Ok. Handle geriatric customers looking for refills to their WWII era pens? Ok. (This sounds like I worked at Dunder Mifflin).

Honestly, in my mind, clinical volunteering>real work experience>>>>>> everything else when it comes to being ready for medical school.

Perspective. If you don't have perspective, you will not be happy in the delayed gratification, apprenticeship world that is medicine.

Clinical volunteering is first only if it is sustained over a long period of time. Honestly, the clinical volunteering I did was not an experience that prepped me for med school. I pushed around a cart with activities for the pediatrics floor for a few hours each month. However, I worked as a tech on a med/surg before med school, where I was once forced to apologize to a patient by the nurse manager for not bringing their graham crackers fast enough due to dropping everything to do CPR during a code. I was also forced to smile through working with that patient that hit their call light every 10 minutes for my twelve hour shift. I also was a server in a restaurant and dealt with all the usual customer service there. It teaches you to grow some thicker skin and realize that this is still a customer service industry in this day and age. Also I'm able to handle the sass from the overworked, tired residents. I have a lot of talented, incredibly intelligent friends that have struggled with that this year. Many have become quite disillusioned.

I think most people catch up by the end of med school. If not, I would think they certainly do by the end of residency.

 

[aldol16]

Yep. Med school is like middle school all over again. It's crazy how immature some of my classmates can be - especially seeing as they'll be responsible for taking care of patients in just a few years.

 

[Skiiiiiing]

This publication assumes MBTI is a static construct tho.

MBTI has little validity. Retest is horrible. It taps into something, but overall Big 5 is a better measurement.

 

[Skiiiiiing]

I agree there is a lot of variation program to program and person to person. But in general each generally attracts a certain type of person. Heck, this has even pubmed Assessment of personality type and medical specialty choice among medical students from Karachi; using Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) tool. - PubMed - NCBI

People who go to the wrong fields for the wrong reasons in general will never be happy and will struggle both professionally and personally.

The military used the MBTI for a while, and found it was essentially useless in predicting either performance or satisfaction. I agree it gets some things right, but mostly its usefulness is limited except when dealing with an extreme type.

 

[Waldeinsamkeit]

I probably shouldn't complain about med school, but here I am. I'm just wondering if any other med students out there honestly just aren't big fans of the med school social scene? I feel like we're supposed to see med school classes as these big, extended families, but I generally feel the opposite. My class is mega cliquish, and a huge chunk of folks I encounter seem like they just graduated from 3rd grade. Sure, they're book smart and can memorize factoids like no one's business, but it really feels like I'm swimming in a sea of overgrown sociopathic children sometimes. Emotional intelligence, empathy and interest in things not medical school related are rare sightings these days. Sometimes I just look around and feel this profound sense of disconnect from like 90% of my class. There are definitely good people around, but whenever I'm on campus it just feels like I'm surrounded by a lot of raging narcissists and high school antics. Ok, enough. Anyway, if anyone else feels this way sometimes let me know. I'd love to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way.

I hate it. Idk if it is med school or the east coast, but I have never had so much difficulty making friends. I just find other people in my city I get along with and do that.

 

[NuttyEngDude]

Treat it as a necessary evil. It will get better when it's over.

 

[cryhavoc]

I only hang out with fellow med students when I need someone to study or practice with.

Have a couple of non med school friends I like way more. No offense.

Just don’t think I have the personality of the average doctor. Prefer easier going people and people more into creative careers and the arts.

Get sort of bored with my classmates. Everything is so “normal” and simple with them. Some are just very rude and uptight. And they get really aggressive with anything that deviates from the norm and like gossiping too much. They seem like robots to me sometimes. Definitely high school. But like the rich, popular kids whose parents groomed them for success or something.

Eccentric people and people who are rough around the edges are sort of my favorite people to hang out with. Most of my friends would never be considered professional enough to be a doctor. I’m like the most uptight of my friend group but like the least uptight of my class.

I feel like that makes me more relatable to patients.

But I’m already the oddball as the future psychiatrist so it sort of makes sense.

 

[stickgirl390]

Agree with your 100%, 100%.

Working in retail was an experience for me. Climb a 15' ladder and bring down a leather chair from the top shelf? Ok. Move reams of paper from one palette to the other? Ok. Handle geriatric customers looking for refills to their WWII era pens? Ok. (This sounds like I worked at Dunder Mifflin).

Honestly, in my mind, clinical volunteering>real work experience>>>>>> everything else when it comes to being ready for medical school.

Perspective. If you don't have perspective, you will not be happy in the delayed gratification, apprenticeship world that is medicine.

Sounds like you worked at Office Max/Depot. I’m right there with you. Getting those chairs down is life or death quite literally.