Any residents live at home during residency? Recommend or not?

[Eyeaboutthat]

Curious if any residents who live at home during residency can share their experience and if they would do it again. Matched into a program with a neighborhood that has high cost of living and deciding between A) living at home, making ~45 minute daily commute each way, saving $15-20k each year, dealing with parents who are loving-but-not-completely-respectful of privacy versus B) renting close to hospital, having minimal expendable income since have to pay off 200k in loans, having freedom to date and not answer to parents

Just wondering if anyone has any thoughts on matter and what to prioritize. thanks!

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[enalli]

Rent close to the hospital. Sign up for income-based repayment. Visit your family frequently if you want, but you need your own space.

 

[Raryn]

I lived at home during residency. Not a big deal for me, but I also:

A) Had parents that lived fairly close to the hospitals where I worked (15-20 minutes)
B) Had a long-distance relationship the entire time where I wasn't exactly doing dating
C) Had a good relationship with my parents where they allowed me the freedom to actually be a reasonable person without keeping a close eye on my hour to hour movements

Honestly, you're so busy in residency (at least near the beginning) that there's minimal downside if you have that good relationship with your parents. Dating and potentially bringing a partner home is the biggest obstacle if you're single.

That said, I wouldn't want a 45 minute each way commute during residency no matter what.

 

[Mad Jack]

Why would you do this? It's time to grow up and live your own life, you've got a graduate degree for the love of god

 

[Trismegistus4]

The definition of "home" is "where you live." Just get your own place and the instant you move in, that's home!

 

[FutureInternist]

That extra 35 mins of sleep (if you get a place close enough to the hospital) will be crucial on most rotations.

Plus your family will continue their lives, which may include getting up at 7 AM to go to work which might be just when you are getting back home from a night float rotation... which would also suck.

At least in a place where everyone is in the same boat there is a slightly higher chance that the number of loud parties at 2 AM will be minimal.

 

[hmockingbird]

Had a similar choice, absolutely did not consider living at home AT ALL. The 45 min commute for me (already daunting with residency hours) would turn into ~1.5h with traffic. Do IBR, you will not have prohibitive payments.

 

[HomeSkool]

1. Time to cut that cord, amigo.
2. Home is where you make it.

 

[rokshana]

its not the living at home...its the 45 min commute...if your family lived FIVE minutes away, then it certainly could be worth it (depending on the arrangements you can make with the family), but that 45 min commute will be agonizing.

 

[Eyeaboutthat]

thanks for your input everyone

living closer to hospital and having more liberty away from home > commute and not much privacy, just want to be able to justify paying half my income in rent for sanity I guess

appreciate the help. if anyone else has any thoughts, would love to hear

 

[Raryn]

thanks for your input everyone

living closer to hospital and having more liberty away from home > commute and not much privacy, just want to be able to justify paying half my income in rent for sanity I guess

appreciate the help. if anyone else has any thoughts, would love to hear

You shouldn't be paying half your income in rent in general.

Is there a happy medium between the two options? Split a nearby apartment with a roommate?

 

[evilbooyaa]

45 minutes is far. The commute is the bigger issue than staying with your parents. Obviously depends on your relationship with your parents. I wouldn't recommend it if single.

 

[clibby]

I lived at home after college while working before med school and it was great. I saved a ton of money and always had someone around to have a beer with that I actually liked.

However, the 45 min commute will kill you in residency. I’m about 15 minutes away and I think that is the sweet spot. Any further means you have to build in even more of a buffer to make sure you aren’t late and it adds stress. Live closer to the hospital and don’t worry about the money. You will make it back later as long as you live like a resident for 2-4 years after you are done.

 

[Mirp]

Home is your call room. If you’re torn try living with the parents for a while it’s easier to move out than to break a lease. Most days you’ll find little need to be there except maybe for a meal and a few hours of sleep in a bed without overhead pages going off.

 

[kabooya]

I'm in pretty much the same exact situation you're in. My commute will be more like 50-60 minutes via subway though, so at least I will be able to get some reading done. My current plan is to stay at home and save the 20k, then move out during PGY2 year. I actually just moved back home after rotations and it's kind of annoying with my parents always asking me for help with stuff, but I'll deal. Good luck with whatever you decide on.

 

[atomi]

A 45 minute commute each was is completely unacceptable in residency. Your free time is worth far more than then 10-15k you would save on rent. 2k for rent as a resident? Why? If the money is really that tight get a roommate. People will think it's odd that you live with your parents, but that's your choice and not really the problem here. The fact that you called it "living at home" is odd. You are well into adulthood at this point. You should have your own home. My first thought was, well, where else would you live - work? Oh, you mean at your childhood home. The 50k you would save over the course of residency will be made up with a few months of working once you graduate. Unless you are trying to provide for a family or something and have no other option to put food on the table, it's a non-issue.