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Any residents live at home during residency? Recommend or not?

Discussion in 'General Residency Issues' started by Eyeaboutthat, Apr 13, 2018 at 10:33 PM.

  1. Eyeaboutthat

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    Curious if any residents who live at home during residency can share their experience and if they would do it again. Matched into a program with a neighborhood that has high cost of living and deciding between A) living at home, making ~45 minute daily commute each way, saving $15-20k each year, dealing with parents who are loving-but-not-completely-respectful of privacy versus B) renting close to hospital, having minimal expendable income since have to pay off 200k in loans, having freedom to date and not answer to parents

    Just wondering if anyone has any thoughts on matter and what to prioritize. thanks!
     
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  3. enalli

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    Rent close to the hospital. Sign up for income-based repayment. Visit your family frequently if you want, but you need your own space.
     
  4. Raryn

    Raryn Infernal Internist / Enigmatic Endocrinologist
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    I lived at home during residency. Not a big deal for me, but I also:

    A) Had parents that lived fairly close to the hospitals where I worked (15-20 minutes)
    B) Had a long-distance relationship the entire time where I wasn't exactly doing dating
    C) Had a good relationship with my parents where they allowed me the freedom to actually be a reasonable person without keeping a close eye on my hour to hour movements

    Honestly, you're so busy in residency (at least near the beginning) that there's minimal downside if you have that good relationship with your parents. Dating and potentially bringing a partner home is the biggest obstacle if you're single.

    That said, I wouldn't want a 45 minute each way commute during residency no matter what.
     
  5. Mad Jack

    Mad Jack Critically Caring
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    Why would you do this? It's time to grow up and live your own life, you've got a graduate degree for the love of god
     
  6. Trismegistus4

    Trismegistus4 Worried Wellologist
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    The definition of "home" is "where you live." Just get your own place and the instant you move in, that's home!
     
  7. FutureInternist

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    That extra 35 mins of sleep (if you get a place close enough to the hospital) will be crucial on most rotations.

    Plus your family will continue their lives, which may include getting up at 7 AM to go to work which might be just when you are getting back home from a night float rotation... which would also suck.

    At least in a place where everyone is in the same boat there is a slightly higher chance that the number of loud parties at 2 AM will be minimal.
     
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  8. hmockingbird

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    Had a similar choice, absolutely did not consider living at home AT ALL. The 45 min commute for me (already daunting with residency hours) would turn into ~1.5h with traffic. Do IBR, you will not have prohibitive payments.
     
  9. HomeSkool

    HomeSkool Excelsior! ASA Member!
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    1. Time to cut that cord, amigo.
    2. Home is where you make it.
     
  10. rokshana

    rokshana Member
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    its not the living at home...its the 45 min commute...if your family lived FIVE minutes away, then it certainly could be worth it (depending on the arrangements you can make with the family), but that 45 min commute will be agonizing.
     
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  11. Eyeaboutthat

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    thanks for your input everyone

    living closer to hospital and having more liberty away from home > commute and not much privacy, just want to be able to justify paying half my income in rent for sanity I guess

    appreciate the help. if anyone else has any thoughts, would love to hear
     
  12. Raryn

    Raryn Infernal Internist / Enigmatic Endocrinologist
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    You shouldn't be paying half your income in rent in general.

    Is there a happy medium between the two options? Split a nearby apartment with a roommate?
     
  13. SubclavianSteel

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    I lived at home during intern year and loved it. I also had a 30 min AM commute and 45 min PM commute with traffic.

    This was before 80 hr work weeks so I needed to have family support. My parents did my laundry, cooked meals and bought groceries- none of which they did in high school by the way. I started paying off student loans immediately with the extra money (I'm not sure if it is now required to start paying immediate but I could have deferred during residency).

    Yes, I had no social life but for a year that was fine. I was exhausted and focusing on my training and passing Step 3, so what free time I had was spent at the gym or going to daytime activities like the movies. I didn't have time to date anyways, I barely saw my friends in my hometown.

    I also learned to like books on tape checked out from the library (this was before podcasts). I never read "The Green Mile," "Catcher in the Rye," and "Tuesday's with Morrie."

    My parents did have a large house where I had the downstairs master with my own enterance and their bedroom was upstairs so being bothered wasn't an issue, even with the kitchen outside my main door. Honestly, I was so exhausted post call, light noise didn't bother me.
     
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  14. evilbooyaa

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    45 minutes is far. The commute is the bigger issue than staying with your parents. Obviously depends on your relationship with your parents. I wouldn't recommend it if single.
     
  15. clibby

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    I lived at home after college while working before med school and it was great. I saved a ton of money and always had someone around to have a beer with that I actually liked.

    However, the 45 min commute will kill you in residency. I’m about 15 minutes away and I think that is the sweet spot. Any further means you have to build in even more of a buffer to make sure you aren’t late and it adds stress. Live closer to the hospital and don’t worry about the money. You will make it back later as long as you live like a resident for 2-4 years after you are done.
     
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  17. Mirp

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    Home is your call room. If you’re torn try living with the parents for a while it’s easier to move out than to break a lease. Most days you’ll find little need to be there except maybe for a meal and a few hours of sleep in a bed without overhead pages going off.
     

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