Anybody in here is vietnamese and applying? would like to be friends with you guys!

[Dr. Dai Phan]

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Interesting on the asian parents thing. I am sure what we see in Vietnamese parents may be applicable to other asian families as well. If you are a guy, then you are expected to be an MD and a girl, then pharmacy. That's the ideal asian parent's wishes from the families that I have known. Quite frankly, dentistry is not on their list. Too many times, my father's friends who mostly are MDs asked him "why your son did not pursue medicine?" I think that is due to the misconception that if you are a physician you can treat the whole body where a dentist can only focus on teeth.You all know that is not true and that's why there are many medical specialties. Too often parents want their children to have the prestige and money and forget the "hidden cost" of achieving such status, not to mention the fact that they may force their children to be someone they would rather not. DP

 

[xxxTheDonxxx]

If they are half Asian, then the odds are not good.

Alright...this is quite wrong and somewhat racist! I'm an anthropologist, and I know that if you raise Asian kids and feed them the same you would with an American kid, they would grow up with the same size and structure as American kids. Tons of research programs show that genetics is not a major factor, what matters is the environment.

 

[Lemming]

Alright...this is quite wrong and somewhat racist! I'm an anthropologist, and I know that if you raise Asian kids and feed them the same you would with an American kid, they would grow up with the same size and structure as American kids. Tons of research programs show that genetics is not a major factor, what matters is the environment.

Well, if it makes you feel better, the other half would be caucasian, which I feel would hinder them in there pursuit of professional athleticism even more!!😀 Not that I really care, but tons of research shows that genetics is a major factor too.

 

[xxxTheDonxxx]

Ya know, the whole asian pressure thing just perplexes me. Of course, I'm a corn fed white boy from the midwest, so I probably shouldn't know. I've been trying for so long to get my fiancee to "free" herself from her parents and their "pressure", but she won't. I could have easily supported us, but she always accepted what they gave, and thus obligated us to them. Sometimes, I feel as if I have been sucked into the whole pressure situation, and I'm NOT ASIAN! But that's fine, I definitely sympathize with you guys, and will try to make sure my finacee will not do the same thing to our kids🙂 Hopefully they will be professional athletes😎

I empathize with you, but you have to know what's going on before you get involved. I think you will create more life's lesions for her if you're trying to pull her away from her parents; Asian families are very close together. Especially, girls feel closer the the family than guys. I think this is a part of our culture. If I marry a White girl, I wouldn't "try" to change her into a Vietnamese woman; I work with what I have and come to a compromise. I think marrying other people is a beautiful thing, but it is not easy.

 

[Lemming]

I empathize with you, but you have to know what's going on before you get involved. I think you will create more life's lesions for her if you're trying to pull her away from her parents; Asian families are very close together. Especially, girls feel closer the the family than guys. I think this is a part of our culture. If I marry a White girl, I wouldn't "try" to change her into a Vietnamese woman; I work with what I have and come to a compromise. I think marrying other people is a beautiful thing, but it is not easy.

I was making a bit light of it in my previous post. Yes, I have noticed the closeness of the family, and it is actually something I very much enjoy about 95% of the time🙂 I think mixing cultures is great too, something that doesn't happen much in the midwest, so it's a first for my family and I think it has opened their eyes to a broader perspective of the world. I know that sometimes we have very different views on the world as I've never really had anyone place high expectations on me, but I've had to scrap for everything that I wanted. She has had everything provided, but then has to live up to the extreme expectations...it is an interesting combination, but one that I love🙂

 

[jphan]

Ya know, the whole asian pressure thing just perplexes me. Of course, I'm a corn fed white boy from the midwest, so I probably shouldn't know. I've been trying for so long to get my fiancee to "free" herself from her parents and their "pressure", but she won't. I could have easily supported us, but she always accepted what they gave, and thus obligated us to them. Sometimes, I feel as if I have been sucked into the whole pressure situation, and I'm NOT ASIAN! But that's fine, I definitely sympathize with you guys, and will try to make sure my finacee will not do the same thing to our kids🙂 Hopefully they will be professional athletes😎

Well, i gotta say your fiancee is very lucky to be provided like that from her family, because although i am also pressured, i am not being provided. I have not taken a cent from my parents since i turned 18 because i feel that they are old, and they should be saving for their retirement instead. So, i am kinna like being double pressured. I understand how americans find it so hard to understand when i tell them that i am 24 but i still live at home and my curfew is at 12 and my parents want be to be successful otherwise they'll disown me when americans are on their own when they turn 18 and they are so independent, yet we are so close to our families, and almost all our personal choices involve our family somehow. Sometimes i do not want to associate with being vietnamese, or asian altogether because i feel the burden is so heavy, but i also understand my parents have given so much for me to be here and they do not want me to be blue collar workers like they are, who do not speak english and being picked on all the time, but cannot express their anger. I guess that's my motivation to keep going otherwise i would be crazy already 🙂

And yeah, about you can support your fiancee, asian girls do not like to be supported, in general, i think, because we were taught that if we take a guy's money, he was your husband. I emphasize the word husband, because fiancee doesn't count, since it is not official yet. It's like when you take a person's money or being depended on him/her you owe them your life 😀 it's the whole remembering good deeds and pay with your life if you can thing during the knights and confusius teaching genre i think. I am not sure if that's right, but at least that's how i was taught 🙂

 

[Euphoria36]

Yep.

sweeeeeeeet!! thought i was the only one 🙂

 

[in her drawer]

Alright...this is quite wrong and somewhat racist! I'm an anthropologist, and I know that if you raise Asian kids and feed them the same you would with an American kid, they would grow up with the same size and structure as American kids. Tons of research programs show that genetics is not a major factor, what matters is the environment.

I'm half Asian, and I always blamed my lack of athleticism on that fact. Maybe I'm just too lazy? 😉

 

[Lemming]

sweeeeeeeet!! thought i was the only one 🙂

I used to live in San Diego...oh how i miss the rock there. Oregon is just to cold and we most of the year...but at least there is some I guess.🙂