Anyone else feel guilty for cancelling interviews?

[WhoisJohnGalt]

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I just cancelled two interviews and I can't help feeling horribly guilty about it! First of all I feel like it's mean (I know, ridiculous and narcissistic-- I'm not really cool enough for the programs to lose any sleep over my cancelling), and I also keep wondering "what if" it's the most amazing program in the country and I won't know because I didn't interview (also silly since there were clearly many other programs I didn't even apply to, and I don't wonder this about THOSE programs). Just wondering if I'm the only one out there that feels like I'm breaking up with someone...

 

[Frugal Traveler]

It is not something that I like to do, but time and money are important. I think canceling on a program you were not really interested in gives someone else the opportunity to go there. It is good for both program and applicant... you save time and money, and they get to invite something that really does want to come there.

Don't feel guilty!

It is natural to wonder about a place because you may go there and really end up liking it. The bottom line with residency as long as you do go somewhere and work hard, then you will get the training you want in those 3-5 years.

 

[ShyRem]

I feel the same way. But lack of finances to get somewhere that doesn't quite look like the greatest place on the internet rather precludes any guilt on my part.

 

[Ariee]

I just cancelled two interviews and I can't help feeling horribly guilty about it! First of all I feel like it's mean (I know, ridiculous and narcissistic-- I'm not really cool enough for the programs to lose any sleep over my cancelling), and I also keep wondering "what if" it's the most amazing program in the country and I won't know because I didn't interview (also silly since there were clearly many other programs I didn't even apply to, and I don't wonder this about THOSE programs). Just wondering if I'm the only one out there that feels like I'm breaking up with someone...

Me too, I know EXACTLY what you're talking about!! You're not in the same boat, but I agree with Frugal and Shy's sentiments, great points u 2!

 

[PirateHotel]

I think it's more like ignoring a friend request on FB than breaking up with someone...

 

[Tiger26]

I think it's more like ignoring a friend request on FB than breaking up with someone...

Haha--given that this entire process is like online dating, the fb friend request ignore is a great analogy

Along the lines above, what is the etiquette for cancelling--I have received my of my 'dream' interviews and want to cancel some of the safeties as they come in.

Is it ok to say I appreciate the offer, but am no longer interested in their program?

 

[Ariee]

Haha--given that this entire process is like online dating, the fb friend request ignore is a great analogy

Along the lines above, what is the etiquette for cancelling--I have received my of my 'dream' interviews and want to cancel some of the safeties as they come in.

Is it ok to say I appreciate the offer, but am no longer interested in their program?[/QUOTE]

Ooooh...I wouldn't say this ^ (the latter). Although, I commend your honesty. I think it's important to stay honest, sincere, (as you have) but humble (like make sure busy PC's don't take your innocent comment the wrong way). I worry about how that sentence may come off and don't want you to get misunderstood as PD's/PC's do talk to each other. I think it would be safer to say:

"I am sincerely honored by your invitation to interview at your residency program. Although I had a strong interest in your program and wished I could interview, financial constraints (combined with a large volume of residency programs to interview at) have forced me to rethink my personal selection criteria. Unfortunately, I will not be able to make it to your insititution and hope that my open seat will allow other qualified applicants to interview at your program. Thank you again, I wish you a succsesful match season."

Something like that, but more you...just make sure you come off as sincere, honest and kind...(the stuff in brackets above you can take out). It's a hard task!

G'luck!
A

 

[ResidentMD]

Haha--given that this entire process is like online dating, the fb friend request ignore is a great analogy

Along the lines above, what is the etiquette for cancelling--I have received my of my 'dream' interviews and want to cancel some of the safeties as they come in.

Is it ok to say I appreciate the offer, but am no longer interested in their program?[/QUOTE]

Ooooh...I wouldn't say this ^ (the latter). Although, I commend your honesty. I think it's important to stay honest, sincere, (as you have) but humble (like make sure busy PC's don't take your innocent comment the wrong way). I worry about how that sentence may come off and don't want you to get misunderstood as PD's/PC's do talk to each other. I think it would be safer to say:

"I am sincerely honored by your invitation to interview at your residency program. Although I had a strong interest in your program and wished I could interview, financial constraints (combined with a large volume of residency programs to interview at) have forced me to rethink my personal selection criteria. Unfortunately, I will not be able to make it to your insititution and hope that my open seat will allow other qualified applicants to interview at your program. Thank you again, I wish you a succsesful match season."

Something like that, but more you...just make sure you come off as sincere, honest and kind...(the stuff in brackets above you can take out). It's a hard task!

G'luck!
A

This is nice (leave out the brackets please!). Also leave out personal selection criteria.

A PC once told me the best way to cancel is to write -
"Dear so and so. I will not be able to make it for my interview on xxx. Yours truly, XXX".
Sends the same message across. You can of course, use the flowery language if you want 😉

 

[Ariee]

U callin' me flowery RMD?!?! Lol ...ya, I agree, I did shower it huh...

Tho-next time, call me rosy or orchidy, my favorites 😉

Ariee

 

[gutonc]

Haha--given that this entire process is like online dating, the fb friend request ignore is a great analogy

Along the lines above, what is the etiquette for cancelling--I have received my of my 'dream' interviews and want to cancel some of the safeties as they come in.

Is it ok to say I appreciate the offer, but am no longer interested in their program?

There is a difference between canceling an already scheduled interview and not accepting an offered interview.

In the first case, I answered something to the effect of: "Thank you for the interview, unfortunately, due to changes in my schedule I will be unable to attend my scheduled interview and must cancel it. Thank you for your consideration."

In the second case, I either ignored it (just once and largely by accident) or just said "Thank you for your consideration, I am unable to schedule an interview at this time." Calling a program out as your safety is just un-cool.

 

[WholeLottaGame7]

There is a difference between canceling an already scheduled interview and not accepting an offered interview.

In the first case, I answered something to the effect of: "Thank you for the interview, unfortunately, due to changes in my schedule I will be unable to attend my scheduled interview and must cancel it. Thank you for your consideration."

In the second case, I either ignored it (just once and largely by accident) or just said "Thank you for your consideration, I am unable to schedule an interview at this time." Calling a program out as your safety is just un-cool.

Yeah I wouldn't get too fancy. I've just said "I am honored by the opportunity, but unfortunately I will be unable to schedule an interview. I wish you the best of luck in filling your residency class."

That said, I'm couples matching, and I had to decline one program because my spouse was rejected, and I mentioned that I was canceling for that reason just to leave the door open for a "well let us see what we can do" response. Though realistically I realize that once the door is shut, it is usually better left shut.

However, I did have one program coordinator email me up front asking if I was couples matching, I replied in the affirmative and inquired as if there was anything else we could do to help facilitate the process, and they replied that they would work on it. Major bonus points. So if nothing else, maybe knowing that I declined an interview for spousal reasons might encourage that program in the future to be more responsive to those kinds of needs. Who knows.

 

[sueypooey]

Kind of along those same lines... When you cancel an interview, do you also go through ERAS and check that ticky box that says to notify the program that you are withdrawing yourself from consideration? It seems like the logical polite conclusion, given that I've already cancelled my interview and am not planning to reschedule.

 

[Frugal Traveler]

Kind of along those same lines... When you cancel an interview, do you also go through ERAS and check that ticky box that says to notify the program that you are withdrawing yourself from consideration? It seems like the logical polite conclusion, given that I've already cancelled my interview and am not planning to reschedule.

The program typically inactivates your application when you cancel (as what happens when someone is rejected). Some programs will let you reschedule and subsequently reactivate your application if you should find time to come there. All in all, just telling them will be fine.