Anyone else...?

[mcctwist1]

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So here's my story:

For the last several years, I have been doing my best to make myself a desirable candidate for medical school. I have pushed myself to get good grades, am an active volunteer, currently involved in undergraduate research, and am my universities AED chapter president. Essentially, I have spent the last few years just focusing on getting into medical school.

However, as of late, I have been having reservations about whether I am doing the right thing. I really don't want to spend the next 8+ years just focused on medicine, without having a life outside of the classroom and hospital. I really don't want to graduate medical school with $200K+ worth of medical school loans. And while I think the time commitment to medicine generally decreases after residency, I know that I will still miss things that I find important in life (kids baseball games, weekend getaways, etc...). I have almost begun to feel that becoming a doctor might not be worth it.

Now I am sure many others out there have had these reservations or felt this way, so my question is: How did you deal with these thoughts? What would you tell someone who is currently going through this, or similar, situations? I have spent many hours cruising SDN, and I know that people on here tend to give excellent advice, so I would appreciate any insight or counseling anyone can throw out.

 

[armybound]

I deal with it in what's either a completely rational or wildly irrational way: I find examples of people living the life I'm afraid I'll miss.

My father in law is a surgeon and works a ton of hours, but my wife says he was always able to make it to their school plays or whatever.
I know medical students who still live life, go to church, drink, go to parties, etc, and are passing their classes just fine.
I know residents who still enjoy life.
These people all have typical med school debt, yet can still buy a house and a car, etc.
None of these people are crippled by the debt or time commitment, so I don't expect to be any different.

You have to understand that you give up a lot of free time, but that doesn't mean your life is over. If you have to spend every waking moment studying, you need to majorly re-evaluate the effectiveness of your study habits.

 

[texaslily]

I'm having a lot of the same doubts as you. I want three kids and am not sure how I'm going to make it happen. My mom as a doctor didn't do much "mom" stuff, we had a babysitter and ate takeout a lot of the time. Whereas I love cooking and want to spend a lot of time with my kids. Still figuring it out but all I can say is that I know it'll work out somehow and this is the right path for me so no matter what happens I'll enjoy it.

That said, I don't think you will miss as much as you think you will and you're forgetting about the rewarding parts of the job 🙂

 

[mcctwist1]

I guess what really started giving me these reservations is that multiple doctors who I have shadowed have said that people are crazy that are going into medicine, and if they had the choice to do it again, they would choose a different career path. I guess it is just a little disheartening to hear advice like that coming from someone who has accomplished what you are trying to accomplish, and is established in a field you are trying to get into.

 

[jaxasp]

everyone is going to have doubts, and if you go into a demanding specialty you will have to sacrifice family time (continuing the theme of sacrifice). But if you're heart is in it then there its eventually worth it

 

[armybound]

I guess what really started giving me these reservations is that multiple doctors who I have shadowed have said that people are crazy that are going into medicine, and if they had the choice to do it again, they would choose a different career path. I guess it is just a little disheartening to hear advice like that coming from someone who has accomplished what you are trying to accomplish, and is established in a field you are trying to get into.

A lot of people underestimate how hard the training and the job really are. Those people may not have known what they were getting themselves into. Even those of us who think we have a clue may still be underestimating how bad it's going to suck.

 

[Pills Of Soap]

... I know that I will still miss things that I find important in life (kids baseball games, weekend getaways, etc...). I have almost begun to feel that becoming a doctor might not be worth it.

I have a doctor friend I met through a hobby of mine. He's internal medicine and works in private practice and spends some time in the hospital. He doesn't usually work weekends (if he does, its like 1-2 patients) and has normal 9-5 hours. He loves his jobs and has plenty of free time. Goes to BBQ's and has hobbies. I think he goes to the bars a lot of the weekend too.

He can out-chug me....😱

 

[Left4Med]

I guess what really started giving me these reservations is that multiple doctors who I have shadowed have said that people are crazy that are going into medicine, and if they had the choice to do it again, they would choose a different career path. I guess it is just a little disheartening to hear advice like that coming from someone who has accomplished what you are trying to accomplish, and is established in a field you are trying to get into.

I have friends who have chosen all sorts of career paths, and their advice tends to be pretty similar: people are crazy that are going into ___________, and if they had the choice to do it again, they would choose a different career path.

The grass is always greener.

 

[UVAbme2009]

Just ask yourself is it worth it. The residency years sound far more awful than the med school years. Med students here have ample time to fulfill their social needs.

I'm prepared to go through hell for the next 7-10 years to get to do what I want to do in life. I'll make the necessary sacrifices to ensure I have the life I want to live.

 

[runrunrudolph1]

just make sure that when you are 50 you will not regret not doing it. you only have one life, you might as well be doing something you love. i think you can have a life and this great career but im more optimistic than most

 

[bkz]

And while I think the time commitment to medicine generally decreases after residency, I know that I will still miss things that I find important in life.....How did you deal with these thoughts?

Now clearly I'm not an attending or anything, but I think while the learning curve probably eases up, the time commitment doesn't change drastically. 60 hours a week compared to 105 hours is way better, for sure, but 60 hours a week is still 20 more than most people...and if you feel that you are missing out on what's important, it will probably seem like 1000 hours that pass very slowly...I'm sure you are dedicated and just feeling a little stressed out, but I'm not sure the solution is to try to find new coping methods. You're FREE right now...free of crushing debt and free to choose not to apply to med school.

While it may sound like an exaggeration, salaries really are being cut in a very painful way, especially for specialists. Of course money isn't a good reason to become a doctor...but when you think about the amount of time and sacrifice involved...it seems like the least the government could do is try not mandate that doctors get paid half of what the janitor does (based on hours worked/$ ratio).

The only good reason to go into medicine these days is if you can't see yourself doing anything else 🙁 😎 A few doctors I know have agreed with this opinion.

So I'm not sure if you're just venting or really feeling fed up with this process, but if it's the latter maybe you should consider this a red flag and deliberate a little more.

 

[jkurtz02]

Just another example of doctors who live great family lives. I know a doctor who is the assistant director of Cardiology at one of the biggest hospitals in the country, he also does extensive clinical research. He does work long, long hours and will leave around 7 AM each day and won't get home until 6-7 PM, and is on call some nights and weekends. That all being said he was a coach of his son's baseball team, when his son played travel baseball he didn't miss a single game and that included travel time to away games (up to three hours away). He also takes at least one family vacation for ~a week each year. Now he will take his research on the trips with him and use some relaxation time to start writing papers, but that doesn't stop him from spending time with his family. He also speaks at a number of conferences and will bring his family along if its in a cool place (Orlando/Universal Studios) and turn that into an extra vacation each year. So while he does work long hours and sacrifices some things, there is very little he misses, in my opinion. It just requires some multi-tasking and positive attitude.

 

[Left4Med]

60 hours a week is still 20 more than most people......and if you feel that you are missing out on what's important, it will probably seem like 1000 hours that pass very slowly...

Not that I look down upon people who work 40 hours a week, but they tend to be a) paid much less than doctors and/or b) easy replaceable by younger/cheaper workers, and it's tough to be in either one of those situations.

 

[texaslily]

Now clearly I'm not an attending or anything, but I think while the learning curve probably eases up, the time commitment doesn't change drastically. 60 hours a week compared to 105 hours is way better, for sure, but 60 hours a week is still 20 more than most people...and if you feel that you are missing out on what's important, it will probably seem like 1000 hours that pass very slowly...I'm sure you are dedicated and just feeling a little stressed out, but I'm not sure the solution is to try to find new coping methods. You're FREE right now...free of crushing debt and free to choose not to apply to med school.

Just wanted to point out that it is possible to work 40 hour weeks if you work at a private practice, hospitals are not the only way to go.

 

[bkz]

Just wanted to point out that it is possible to work 40 hour weeks if you work at a private practice, hospitals are not the only way to go.

Oh yeah, one could do locums and even work 15 hours a week. Personally I would not feel right going through so much training only to work 2/3 as much as my colleagues, but if other people want to do that, cool

 

[texaslily]

Oh yeah, one could do locums and even work 15 hours a week. Personally I would not feel right going through so much training only to work 2/3 as much as my colleagues, but if other people want to do that, cool

People like the OP are concerned with not making their lives all about their work. To have a family life I don't think it's necessary to do locum tenens. But I do think that a 40 hour work week would be a great for some people because it gives them family time, even though it entails only working 2/3 as much as other physicians. Everyone has their own preferences. I don't believe it's about the hours you work compared to others but rather how you work out your life so you are satisfied and happy.

 

[bkz]

Everyone has their own preferences...how you work out your life so you are satisfied and happy.

Then we are in complete agreement. 😉