Anyone feeling crushed?

[ericana_83]

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"A medical student...exclaimed that medical school 'crushed the human person into the spiritless formula of science.' "

I ran into this quote today when researching for a paper and though it might be a nice thing for medical students to talk about this time of year. I can most certainly relate.

Here's the full article:
http://xnet.kp.org/permanentejournal/spring00pj/healing.html

I highly recommend it for anyone how is already feeling a little overwhelmed in science and not enough overwhelmed in compassion.

DIscuss.

 

[ericana_83]

I know you aren't theoretically supposed to reply to your own posts, but I just found another quote in the article that I really like. Just think of this as talking to myself via SDN.

At any rate, under the subject of "the healer":

If we recall the yearning we had to become doctors; the desire we had to help other people; the chance, through our work, to perform a greater good, to achieve a higher purpose, how does that express itself today? Has medical school and modern medical practice dropped the enormous, dense, complex science of medicine onto the physician's heart, causing shortness of breath and profound fatigue? How can the spirit of the art of medicine energize the practice of medicine to restore the balance necessary for physicians to simultaneously treat the physical disease of diabetes and the personal distress of being an ill diabetic? Curing addresses the former, healing is what addresses both.

 

[kikiG]

for the record--this is the first post that has actually prompted me to respond, i've been just a reader for the past 2 years!

i'm glad you sent a link to the article. i hope when i get out there, i'll remember that healing is much more than all of the drugs and bugs i am trying to stuff into my aching brain.

i'm a second year and i feel that med school as absolutely crushed my spirit and i can't figure out why medical education must be so tortuous.

i have to remind myself everyday that i actually chose this, and still some how my starry eyed world view has insidously vanished.

i always wanted to take care of people, be that doc that everyone knows in the community, and know them personally and watch their kids grow up.

Now i can only think, what can i choose so i can have my own life back, talk to my husband more than 15 min. a day, and walk my dog. (i can't figure out how to throw some kids into the mix too, which is inevitable!)

That is not how i want to be or who i think i am, but i'm at such a low point, and i still have such a long road ahead.

Any thoughts on how to cope?

 

[notdeadyet]

Trip around pre-allo for a little while. Look at the desparation, panic, fear and self-doubt. Odds are you felt the same way back then, desperate to realize your dreams. Take solace in the fact that you worked very very hard to get where you are and medical school and residency will eventually end. Once it does, it'll be up to you the carve out the kind of life you want for yourself.

Not sure what your med school is like, but I find if you attend one that encourages clinical time early on in your education, it's a great reminder why you went down this path. We have a doctoring class where we learn basic skills from day one and put them to use in free clinics with faculty mentors. Are we saving lives? No, but it makes it easier to hit the books again and learn yet another pathway or process.

Hope things improve for you....

 

[kikiG]

thanks for the encouragment. i guess it has also been a struggle since i was not the typical pre-med (i wasn't even a pre-med) and started med school after being in the "real world" a bit. i really don't like being the neurotic med student!

you're right, when i do find time to volunteer at the homeless clinic, it always reminds me of why i chose this craziness and helps me focus on what to do to be better for my future patients.

of course i can't really help them, seeing as i know nothing, and we usually don't even have meds to handout, but at least very least they are quite appreciative and almost always entertaining 🙂

 

[da8s0859q]

i'm a second year and i feel that med school as absolutely crushed my spirit and i can't figure out why medical education must be so tortuous.

This, and its extension into professional life, is precisely the last lingering thing that has me second-guessing my plans of MDhood.

Oh, to have a crystal ball sometimes...

 

[CCLCMer]

for the record--this is the first post that has actually prompted me to respond, i've been just a reader for the past 2 years!

i'm glad you sent a link to the article. i hope when i get out there, i'll remember that healing is much more than all of the drugs and bugs i am trying to stuff into my aching brain.

i'm a second year and i feel that med school as absolutely crushed my spirit and i can't figure out why medical education must be so tortuous.

i have to remind myself everyday that i actually chose this, and still some how my starry eyed world view has insidously vanished.

i always wanted to take care of people, be that doc that everyone knows in the community, and know them personally and watch their kids grow up.

Now i can only think, what can i choose so i can have my own life back, talk to my husband more than 15 min. a day, and walk my dog. (i can't figure out how to throw some kids into the mix too, which is inevitable!)

That is not how i want to be or who i think i am, but i'm at such a low point, and i still have such a long road ahead.

Any thoughts on how to cope?

I'm a second year too. Everyone keeps telling me that this is the hardest year, and I believe them. I can't possibly imagine how a med school could be LESS stressful than CCLCM is--we have no grades, no tests. But somehow, it is still incredibly stressful anyway. 😛 The good thing though is that there is an end to this year, and everyone feels burned out at this point. It's hard now, but you won't always be a second year. Just don't stop trying, because every day you spend cramming this stuff into your head is one day that gets you closer to your dream. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone, that we probably all feel this way. PM me if you want to talk and hang in there. 🙂

 

[ericana_83]

Thanks everyone for your replies. Sometimes it just seems like I'm the only student in my class who cares about more than memorizing metabolic pathways--sometimes it just feels like I'm swimming through the mess of this whole thing and loosing even my motivation or my memory of the reasons that I choose this path. Thanks for breathing a little life back into my ideas of being a physician.

If anyone wants to reminisce about idealism, PM me--I'd love to know your stories.

In the meantime, I'll give my thoughts on what keeps my head above water so far--it's that sometime in the near future we WILL have actual patient contact and that we will be able to see a positive change in the lives of our patients. Perhaps I'm still being naive, and I know that part will be hard too, but I'm looking forward to seeing the real applications to the drudging part of my work.

 

[Drogba]

When I heard the learn'd astronomer,
When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me,
When I was shown the charts, the diagrams, to add, divide, and measure them,
When I sitting heard the learned astronomer where he lectured with much applause in the lecture room,
How soon unaccountable I became tired and sick,
Till rising and gliding out I wander'd off by myself,
In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,
Look'd up in perfect silence at the stars.
----------------------------------------------------

Even though we must approach things from the perspective of the astronomer to benefit those we wish to help, let us not lose the mind of he who can look in perfect silence at the stars.

 

[da8s0859q]

When I heard the learn'd astronomer,
When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me,
When I was shown the charts, the diagrams, to add, divide, and measure them,
When I sitting heard the learned astronomer where he lectured with much applause in the lecture room,
How soon unaccountable I became tired and sick,
Till rising and gliding out I wander'd off by myself,
In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,
Look'd up in perfect silence at the stars.
----------------------------------------------------

Even though we must approach things from the perspective of the astronomer to benefit those we wish to help, let us not lose the mind of he who can look in perfect silence at the stars.

A fine sentiment. Wish I were better at taking my own advice when I say similar things to friends.