Anyone lost their SO in this process?

This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.
It's all about expectations and priorities. I was married before medical school, and I attend medical school 1.5 hours away from where my husband lives - but we make it work because we have reasonable expectations of each other. Also, my marriage is a higher priority than everything except passing - as long as I pass my exam, I am happy; anything higher, I am ecstatic, but it's not worth sacrificing what time I have with him to get honors in my classes.

Just my perspective.
 
My advice is to attempt a complete emotional shutdown until after you sit for the MCAT. There's no way around it- dealing with this breakup is going to really really suck, but if you can manage to stay in denial about it for a week the long-term ramifications will be greatly minimized. Obviously, you don't want this breakup to impact your chances at getting into medical school.

My long-time boyfriend broke up with me when I was at a critical point in writing my thesis. I kind of pretended it didn't happen until I'd finished my thesis and managed to avoid ruining my college career with this tactic. Throw yourself into studying.
 
Just in case anyone cares, I broke up with my girlfriend of 3+ years 2 days before I took the MCAT. It's definitely possible to get your reality jarred and still do well on that stupid test. Good luck to you, OP.
 
Amazing how many of you have encountered such rude SO experiences. Just curious, would most of you who experienced such a loss had a good sexual life going? And by that, I mean for BOTH partners (not your gf faking, as it often happens). A lot of women think of men as inadequate in bed and they are often correct. If a woman is not satisfied, there is not enough oxytocin released to bond her to you. In contrast, if she is, then you get enough of a bond to even be forgiven even a cheating.
 
Excelsius said:
Amazing how many of you have encountered such rude SO experiences. Just curious, would most of you who experienced such a loss had a good sexual life going? And by that, I mean for BOTH partners (not your gf faking, as it often happens). A lot of women think of men as inadequate in bed and they are often correct. If a woman is not satisfied, there is not enough oxytocin released to bond her to you. In contrast, if she is, then you get enough of a bond to even be forgiven even a cheating.
Click to expand...
While I won't delve into Milkman's sex life (for my own sake), I agree with Excelsius.

What's up with all these ladyfriends?

Mine took me out to dinner the night before, planted encouraging notes throughout the apartment the morning of, wrote me a to-bring list, and took me to dinner in SF afterwards.

Y'all got the shaft!
 
At that point, I'd say no, definitely not. Her schedule made things pretty much intractable. It was a mutual break-up, but I'd been thinking about doing it for some time. I'm reasonably sure she felt the same way. In retrospect, I'd say it was about a year overdue, but ending a relationship like that is devastating even if it needs to be ended.
 
Just put everything on hold until the MCAT is over, OP. Then go back to everything else.
 
Excelsius said:
Amazing how many of you have encountered such rude SO experiences. Just curious, would most of you who experienced such a loss had a good sexual life going? And by that, I mean for BOTH partners (not your gf faking, as it often happens). A lot of women think of men as inadequate in bed and they are often correct. If a woman is not satisfied, there is not enough oxytocin released to bond her to you. In contrast, if she is, then you get enough of a bond to even be forgiven even a cheating.
Click to expand...

koko_eats said:
While I won't delve into Milkman's sex life (for my own sake), I agree with Excelsius.

What's up with all these ladyfriends?

Mine took me out to dinner the night before, planted encouraging notes throughout the apartment the morning of, wrote me a to-bring list, and took me to dinner in SF afterwards.

Y'all got the shaft!
Click to expand...

My SO treated me very well and we had amazing physical chemistry (at least when she was not freaking out about me being white and getting mad because I did not talk to her for 4 hours a day). After we had gotten back together (after the first break up) she would pack my clothes for my interview and tell me which outfits I should wear each day and make them weather appropriate (I am horrible about not looking out my window or getting a weather report before I head off somewhere...I have ended up wearing shorts in Buffalo NY in November). She would also hide little love notes in my bag (stuffed in my shoe or in my pocket), and she would pack my favorite snacks.

The only problem with our relationship was the fact that her parents were putting an enormous amount of pressure on her to get married to another Muslim and even though she did not want to marry another Muslim and she loved me...she was not willing to introduce me to her parents (or even tell them that I existed). In the end she decided that she just did not want to disappoint her parents (probably because she is still financially and emotionally dependant on them cuz she is younger). So she called me up one day and out of the blue just said "I'm really sorry but I cannot date a white boy, I don't know how I will ever get over you but I cannot disappoint my parents"
 
ZeusonRoids said:
My SO treated me very well and we had amazing physical chemistry (at least when she was not freaking out about me being white and getting mad because I did not talk to her for 4 hours a day). After we had gotten back together (after the first break up) she would pack my clothes for my interview and tell me which outfits I should wear each day and make them weather appropriate (I am horrible about not looking out my window or getting a weather report before I head off somewhere...I have ended up wearing shorts in Buffalo NY in November). She would also hide little love notes in my bag (stuffed in my shoe or in my pocket), and she would pack my favorite snacks.

The only problem with our relationship was the fact that her parents were putting an enormous amount of pressure on her to get married to another Muslim and even though she did not want to marry another Muslim and she loved me...she was not willing to introduce me to her parents (or even tell them that I existed). In the end she decided that she just did not want to disappoint her parents (probably because she is still financially and emotionally dependant on them cuz she is younger). So she called me up one day and out of the blue just said "I'm really sorry but I cannot date a white boy, I don't know how I will ever get over you but I cannot disappoint my parents"
Click to expand...

the parents thing and emotional and financial dependence is probably one aspect that an american will never or find it EXTREMELY difficult to understand about asians or muslim cultures...
 
im muslim and i dont understand the parent, emotional, or financial dependence thing.
 
witness23 said:
im muslim and i dont understand the parent, emotional, or financial dependence thing.
Click to expand...
Ditto. I'm Asian and it doesn't even make sense to me.

My Mom is so anti-my GF it's ridiculous. We're both Chinese, but my family is from Taiwan and hers is from the mainland. That's enough for the stink eye, apparently.
 
hmm.. I'm Asian and I eloped with a white boy...

my parents eventually got over it - 5 years later.
 
Wow. To the OP, that sucks. Good luck with the MCAT! I hope you find someone who's willing to put up with all of this someday. 🙂


I temporarily damaged my friendships over the MCAT ( I was taking it early in the morning so I kept myself on a very early sleep schedule and was anti-social and grumpy for the month right before it. Friends were not quite as understanding about it as I wanted them to be and I was annoyed with them for a few months after. Everything's fine now), but my relationship with my SO remained strong throughout. I'm going to miss his physical presence throughout med school, but we almost primarily communicate online anyway so I'm hopeful (but not stupid; it'll be hard). We're such introverts and workaholics sometimes that I think we'll welcome the time and space. It'll be the benefits of being single without the whole trying to find someone to date thing because we do actually have each other. 😀
 
chocolaterie said:
hmm.. I'm Asian and I eloped with a white boy...

my parents eventually got over it - 5 years later.
Click to expand...

LOL that reminds me of what my uncle did...my family is japanese and he married a mexican....my grandma didnt speak to him for about 10 years lol. Gotta love fobs and their old traditions and racist ways.
 
Elijah05 said:
LOL that reminds me of what my uncle did...my family is japanese and he married a mexican....my grandma didnt speak to him for about 10 years lol. Gotta love fobs and their old traditions and racist ways.
Click to expand...

I like how you call people fobs and in the very same sentence look down on racists. Very nice. 👎
 
MilkmanAl said:
Just in case anyone cares, I broke up with my girlfriend of 3+ years 2 days before I took the MCAT. It's definitely possible to get your reality jarred and still do well on that stupid test. Good luck to you, OP.
Click to expand...

Damn dude, similar thing happened to me, but it was not the MCAT. Actually it wasn't like yours at all, just the breakup part, but what a huge bitch to do that. I feel for you.
 
Elijah05 said:
LOL that reminds me of what my uncle did...my family is japanese and he married a mexican....my grandma didnt speak to him for about 10 years lol. Gotta love fobs and their old traditions and racist ways.
Click to expand...

Sadly, my parents would be like that, too.
 
Red Leader said:
I like how you call people fobs and in the very same sentence look down on racists. Very nice. 👎
Click to expand...

like someone else said fobs is not really racist especially since im azn myself. when a white person calls a white person white is that racist? Not to mention its a joke.......saying they are fobs meaning they are 1st gen and stuck in their old ways often...why is everyone always so uptight about race. Furthermore ALL fobs really means is that you are a 1st generation in america...is that racist at all, not really. Id assume youre white since you are so uptight over nothing(now thats being more directly racist😉).
 
Last edited:
smq123 said:
😕

Calling people "FOBs" is not racist - it has absolutely nothing to do with race. Particularly when the person who said it is Asian himself.
Click to expand...

I like how you basically said it has nothing to do with race, and in the same sentence shoot yourself in the foot by saying its ok because he is Asian. Clearly the connotation of calling someone a FOB means he/she is an east asian. You don't call Mexicans FOBs, you don't call black people FOBs, you call Asians FOBs.

that said, I really don't care. Just bothered me seeing my Asian friends call their newly immigrated counterparts or older relatives FOBs.
 
Red Leader said:
that said, I really don't care. Just bothered me seeing my Asian friends call their newly immigrated counterparts or older relatives FOBs.
Click to expand...

While we're nitpicking words.

For me, it's hard to describe people if you don't classify them into groups. Classifying into us and them works best. FOBs and ABCs, for instance.
 
Red Leader said:
I like how you basically said it has nothing to do with race, and in the same sentence shoot yourself in the foot by saying its ok because he is Asian. Clearly the connotation of calling someone a FOB means he/she is an east asian. You don't call Mexicans FOBs, you don't call black people FOBs, you call Asians FOBs.
Click to expand...

- Black people in this country are rarely new immigrants.

- Mexicans rarely come over in boats, or planes for that matter.

And my point was just that it seems odd that you're accusing an Asian guy of being racist against other Asians. 😕 That's what I meant.

We don't call them FOBs because they're Asian. You can be Asian and not be a FOB. It doesn't have to do with race; it has to do with behavior.
 
Excelsius said:
Amazing how many of you have encountered such rude SO experiences. Just curious, would most of you who experienced such a loss had a good sexual life going? And by that, I mean for BOTH partners (not your gf faking, as it often happens). A lot of women think of men as inadequate in bed and they are often correct. If a woman is not satisfied, there is not enough oxytocin released to bond her to you. In contrast, if she is, then you get enough of a bond to even be forgiven even a cheating.
Click to expand...

Wow way to reduce relationships to a single chemical receptor.

Some relationships are strong without being sexual at all. There's a lot more to it.
 
gujuDoc said:
Wow you sound like an arrogant SOB. You really don't get it do you??? have you ever had good muslim friends beynd your girlfriend?? First of all, ou say you were only with her for her looks, so why is she the bad guy for breaking it off?? Secondly, you call her a dumb witch with a b, so perhaps she did right in leaving you.

Thirdly, you don't get it. Islamic culture is not so permissive. her parents might not just have been accepting no matter what time has passed. Wake up and look at the news. see what happens at the most extreme. i.e. honor killings, harsh sharia laws, etc. Regardless of whether you are at the most extreme or a somewhat liberal muslim it is against religious beliefs, against cultural beliefs, and against the honor of a family according to those beliefs to marry against religion. Not everyone is very liberal to agree with it. Not everyone is willing to go against their parents to marry someone who their parent won't approve of. It is the same thing in hindu culture and sikh culture. She did the right thing for her family and judging by the nasty things you say on here she did the right thing and her parents did her a favor as yours did you a favor by not letting you be with someone who was not right for you. But that doesn't mean you have to insult her by calling her racist or dumb.
Click to expand...

lol
 
Hey everyone, I'm back... I didn't die, and I had to be at work this morning at 8, so... I was pretty tired, then I had to let out the dog (Yes, my ex-girlfriend and I have/had a dog together)... Then of course study for the MCAT with my friend for 4 hours.

One thing I don't think everyone realizes here, that I might not have said, was that we've lived in different cities for the past 2.5 years, we were supposed to move in together this summer, she also just turned 21 about 4 months ago... There's a bunch of information to this story, it's just FUBAR. We're also meeting this weekend to go to a concert together because we bought the tickets for our anniversary as a gift to one another...

I'm not pissed at her, I just hate how this is messing up all my life plans.

As for the sex: Difficult to have often when you see one another 1-2 times a month and one of those times sometimes lands on a period week(I don't know why women would be offended, but I hope those reading are not offended?). Also, her excuse for not having much sex is that she feels that we've always been "Trying to cram 2 weeks worth of relationship into a day an a half."

I technically broke it off between us because she said she was "Too tired, wanted to take a nap, and needed to do laundry," after spending 2 weeks apart, with the last week of that being her spending it in Florida with a bunch of her friends on spring break(Yes, instead of coming to visit... Super cool, F*ck you very much). I told her I felt neglected and that it seemed that I felt that she was telling me that I was less important than laundry and naps.

She replied with "If it's so bad, then why are you still with me?"

To which I replied "I guess I'm not, Goodbye then"

Called her back in an hour or two, tried to explain that I was a bit stressed out and that I would appreciate more commitment from her... to which she replied that she was giving everything that she could give, and felt that the "relationship was toxic." as well as complained to me that I made her cry by my insensitivity and lack of respect for her goals in life, because I assumed that my goals superseded hers...

Trying to make this shorter, she felt that the relationship was no longer fun(Big surprise... after having spent 7 days clubbing in Florida, to which I was completely cool with...) and that I didn't give her enough attention.

Many of her concerns, I felt had some merit. I should be giving her more attention, I should be giving her more of my time, I just COULDN'T for 2 more weeks. I needed her to be there for me for 4 more weeks, and she couldn't do it anymore.

To be fair, she's been through a lot with me, and we've both comforted one another... I'm just depressed because I feel like this is mostly a product of her going on Spring Break with a bunch of guys and realizing that she can get a lot of attention from random dudes in that setting, which seems like what she is craving.

Lastly: On my part, had I known, I could have played things better... This situation just sucks, and I just wish this could have waited the extra month to happen...

Sometimes I hate my life...
 
you guys wrote quite a lot that i won't read and this thread is kinda depressing so to lighten it up...

favorite pick up lines.... go!
 
okay.. nevermind.

hey man, i know how it feels. why dont you take a break from the studying for a day and do something fun. you will probably feel a bit better, and if you feel better than you know that everything will be all good when your mcat is done and you have time to get a normal life back
 
HolyGrail said:
As for the sex: Difficult to have often when you see one another 1-2 times a month and one of those times sometimes lands on a period week(I don't know why women would be offended, but I hope those reading are not offended?).
Click to expand...

Ohh God I know how much that sucks.

Sorry about this man. You sound mature enough to handle this and you're thinking straight. Best of luck on your exam!
 
Last edited:
It seems like a lot of people's relationships here could be better if they could be more empathetic and compassionate with their partners, and focus on what they have to offer the other person rather than what they have to take from the relationship. Sometimes it's about "what can I do to make your life better?" rather than just about "me, me, ME". Just a thought. I'm not saying this to any one person in particular, just a thought that comes up several times from reading through this thread.
 
To rkaz:

This isn't all her fault... and I can completely understand how she's feeling. Unfortunately, it's too late for "I'm sorry that I acted like a needy wuss bag." I can see why she'd be upset, she felt like I wasn't giving anything back, and to be fair, I really do feel for her, I wasn't.

Unfortunately, what she didn't see was a lot more than what she did see. I had planned a night out for us, I had brought a movie projector into work to watch one of her favourite movies on the wall, on a couch(That a brought to work as well...). This was just a cluster-f*ck of stupid things happening all at once that amalgamated into one gigantic SNAFU...

I just don't see me being able to fix this whatsoever, without letting her go, and asking that she call me back should she feel differently in the future, if she'd like to give this another shot.

rkaz: You're right in a lot of ways, and I admit it.
 
HolyGrail said:
As for the sex: Difficult to have often when you see one another 1-2 times a month and one of those times sometimes lands on a period week(I don't know why women would be offended, but I hope those reading are not offended?). Also, her excuse for not having much sex is that she feels that we've always been "Trying to cram 2 weeks worth of relationship into a day an a half."
Click to expand...


Lol sorry bro, but didnt see why u needed to put your sex life out there....thanks for sharing tho haha.
And as for the rest of your post...sadly she'll learn soon enough if her reason for breakin up was just to get more attention from other guys.
But, point to note....there are always 2 sides to a coin...
 
chiz2kul said:
Lol sorry bro, but didnt see why u needed to put your sex life out there....thanks for sharing tho haha.
And as for the rest of your post...sadly she'll learn soon enough if her reason for breakin up was just to get more attention from other guys.
But, point to note....there are always 2 sides to a coin...
Click to expand...


Someone previously asked about it... I wouldn't have volunteered it anyway. Also, this is pretty anonymous.😎
 
gujuDoc said:
Almost everyone I know didn't stay with their first love and met the right person after at least 1 other relationship if not quite a few more.

it happens. its called life.
Click to expand...

In the words of Dan Savage...every relationship you have will end. Until one doesn't.

HolyGrail said:
Someone previously asked about it... I wouldn't have volunteered it anyway. Also, this is pretty anonymous.😎
Click to expand...

I don't really understand why someone would let period sex get in the way of a LDR, though. Are you saying you didn't want to or she didn't want to? I think that's a little outrageous. If you only see a person once a month, or once a year, whatever...just suck it up.
 
gujuDoc said:
Glad someone finally said it. It seems to me everyone on here blames the girl saying she's not good enough if she doesn't want the same things in life or thinking that them being an MD some day will make them better then their exes. That is not the case. The case in point of this is the person who I lambasted against for his judgements against the arab girl that didn't want to go against her parents belief system and religous/cultural traditions.

But it is not just that person. at least the OP is showing that he is partly the fault and not solely his ex girlfriend's fault. MilkmanAl was also pretty mature with his story. The rest of you could benefit from doing the same thing by keeping it mature and realizing that not all first relationships stay til the end. It does not work like it does in a romance novel in real life. And what may have seemed like a potential relationship does not always work out once you get an idea of what each other wants more. Learn from your experiences so that when you find a person in the future you know what to do and not to do.

try to understand that there are 2 sides to each coin as someone said in an above post.

Almost everyone I know didn't stay with their first love and met the right person after at least 1 other relationship if not quite a few more.

it happens. its called life.
Click to expand...


I wasnt blaming my wife, I understand its hard for her and her dream isnt MD its mine. Im just mad that now i have the decision to make; go to med school and forgo seeing my son for anywhere from 4-10 years depending on where i do residency and fellowship, or give up med school and be with him...both are ****ty decisions that ill regret for as along as i live....I need to start bribing some peeps on the UCI, UCLA, and USC admin committees...:laugh:
 
Elijah05 said:
I wasnt blaming my wife, I understand its hard for her and her dream isnt MD its mine. Im just mad that now i have the decision to make; go to med school and forgo seeing my son for anywhere from 4-10 years depending on where i do residency and fellowship, or give up med school and be with him...both are ****ty decisions that ill regret for as along as i live....I need to start bribing some peeps on the UCI, UCLA, and USC admin committees...:laugh:
Click to expand...
Yeah your situation is pretty remarkable. It's tough to start a family but at least you're trying to figure it out. I think it's kinda nice that your wife decided to tell you instead of keeping it inside and being unhappy and passive aggressive.

Hopefully everything will work out in the end. You have to let us know if it does!
 
HolyGrail said:
...
As for the sex: Difficult to have often when you see one another 1-2 times a month and one of those times sometimes lands on a period week(I don't know why women would be offended, but I hope those reading are not offended?). Also, her excuse for not having much sex is that she feels that we've always been "Trying to cram 2 weeks worth of relationship into a day an a half."

I technically broke it off between us because she said she was "Too tired, wanted to take a nap, and needed to do laundry," after spending 2 weeks apart, with the last week of that being her spending it in Florida with a bunch of her friends on spring break(Yes, instead of coming to visit... Super cool, F*ck you very much). I told her I felt neglected and that it seemed that I felt that she was telling me that I was less important than laundry and naps.

She replied with "If it's so bad, then why are you still with me?"

To which I replied "I guess I'm not, Goodbye then"

Called her back in an hour or two, tried to explain that I was a bit stressed out and that I would appreciate more commitment from her... to which she replied that she was giving everything that she could give, and felt that the "relationship was toxic." as well as complained to me that I made her cry by my insensitivity and lack of respect for her goals in life, because I assumed that my goals superseded hers...

Trying to make this shorter, she felt that the relationship was no longer fun(Big surprise... after having spent 7 days clubbing in Florida, to which I was completely cool with...) and that I didn't give her enough attention.

Many of her concerns, I felt had some merit. I should be giving her more attention, I should be giving her more of my time, I just COULDN'T for 2 more weeks. I needed her to be there for me for 4 more weeks, and she couldn't do it anymore.

To be fair, she's been through a lot with me, and we've both comforted one another... I'm just depressed because I feel like this is mostly a product of her going on Spring Break with a bunch of guys and realizing that she can get a lot of attention from random dudes in that setting, which seems like what she is craving.

Lastly: On my part, had I known, I could have played things better... This situation just sucks, and I just wish this could have waited the extra month to happen...

Sometimes I hate my life...
Click to expand...

It is not easy to properly assess a situation in just a few paragraphs, but you do have some good points. Your relationship was probably over the first time she chose to go somewhere else instead of come and visit you after a long separation. But even then, I don't think anyone should jump to conclusions and always blame the other person. You may well be right here, but to really help yourself, you need to ask whether you did something that resulted in that situation. For example, if she said she was too busy in terms of laundry or other chores, did you ever offer to help her with that? Small things like this can go a long way. Believe me - I had a crash course. My gf is much older than I am and after a few years of good times, last summer we pretty much broke up. Now instead of getting pissed at her, I sat down and talked to her about the negative aspects. Then, I took a break for several days I went to the mountains for "think sessions" and occasional soliloquies. I tried really hard to leave my bias and look at the situation from outside. Here are some of the questions you can ask yourself:

1. Am I perfect? (if you say yes, then good luck!)
2. What did I do wrong (regardless of what you think he/she did).
3. What are my SO's complaints? Are they legitimate/logical?
4. Will my deficiencies cause someone else to turn away from me in the future? If so, what can I do to address them now and overt a disaster later?

and a list of 40+ other questions, including personal.

After you do that, you'll realize that no matter what the situation, you did something wrong yourself. No one's perfect. In my case, I realized that my problem was my immaturity - I teased her too much and that made her feel insecure. She had even asked me in the past to please not do that. I finally understood that and right away modified my behavior. We have had some of our best times since then. Of course, I still tease and joke around, but I make sure that the object of the joke rarely pertains to her. One thing you have to learn is that girls are very insecure, even the older ones. So, that was an easy fix, provided you have enough consciousness and control over your own behavior. Even though I am not in love per se, I realized that the assessment of my own character would help in the future to attract/retain the person with whom I think I would want to spend the rest of my life.

If your case is truly hopeless and you feel like you were perfect, then you really don't have to feel bad about the break up, right? So sometimes this can be a good litmus test.

Finally, if you have been badly hurt, try to have think sessions with your self and evaluate human relations as a whole. After enough thought, you can convince yourself that human relationships are generally hilarious. We live in an ocean of free space with temperatures reaching absolute zero. Our earth is nothing but a speck of dust in that space. Humans are specks of dust compared to the speck of dust that is the earth. People get into relationships for procreation, but the vast majority of the relationships have lost this purpose and the only thing that's left is the evolutionary hangover (or the id) which has rewarded us for procreation. So we basically have relationships mainly for hedonistic reasons. Relationships = coitus. We have coitus for pleasure. And pleasure is nothing but the evolutionary reward for conception, which all of us are trying to avoid like the plague! Isn't this primitive culture hilarious or what? Once you realize this, you won't know whether to cry because your SO has left you or to laugh because you are willing to cry over it.

Oh, I also recommend reading Freud and Nietzsche, among others. The premed and the med stuff does not allow you to grow as a person as much as the social sciences do. Psychology and philosophy are the core of our existence, even if you're not an existentialist.
 
Last edited:
Elijah05 said:
I wasnt blaming my wife, I understand its hard for her and her dream isnt MD its mine. Im just mad that now i have the decision to make; go to med school and forgo seeing my son for anywhere from 4-10 years depending on where i do residency and fellowship, or give up med school and be with him...both are ****ty decisions that ill regret for as along as i live....I need to start bribing some peeps on the UCI, UCLA, and USC admin committees...:laugh:
Click to expand...

Have you also applied to Western University/COMP? That is a D.O. medical school in Pomona, which would allow you to be close to your son and may be less difficult to get into compared to the UC med schools. I know many of us here are slightly more familiar with M.D. programs (and thus in general seem to be more favorable to them); however, Western is a great school and would offer you both the opportunity to go to med school and be close to your family.
 
Last edited:
HolyGrail said:
To rkaz:

This isn't all her fault... and I can completely understand how she's feeling. Unfortunately, it's too late for "I'm sorry that I acted like a needy wuss bag." I can see why she'd be upset, she felt like I wasn't giving anything back, and to be fair, I really do feel for her, I wasn't.

Unfortunately, what she didn't see was a lot more than what she did see. I had planned a night out for us, I had brought a movie projector into work to watch one of her favourite movies on the wall, on a couch(That a brought to work as well...). This was just a cluster-f*ck of stupid things happening all at once that amalgamated into one gigantic SNAFU...

I just don't see me being able to fix this whatsoever, without letting her go, and asking that she call me back should she feel differently in the future, if she'd like to give this another shot.

rkaz: You're right in a lot of ways, and I admit it.
Click to expand...

I understand. I've been there, and have been selfish at times in my own past relationships. A lot of lessons we learn are from our own mistakes. Even if relationships don't work out, it's nice to at least feel good knowing that you treated the other person as kindly and lovingly are you could. Even though we all want to be understood by our partners, often they are just as much seeking to be understood as well.
 
rkaz said:
Have you also applied to Western University/COMP? That is a D.O. medical school in Pomona, which would allow you to be close to your son and may be less difficult to get into compared to the UC med schools. I know many of us here are slightly more familiar with M.D. programs (and thus in general seem to be more favorable to them); however, Western is a great school and would offer you both the opportunity to go to med school and be close to your family.
Click to expand...
Don't you need a 3.5 to apply there?
 
rkaz said:
Have you also applied to Western University/COMP? That is a D.O. medical school in Pomona, which would allow you to be close to your son and may be less difficult to get into compared to the UC med schools. I know many of us here are slightly more familiar with M.D. programs (and thus in general seem to be more favorable to them); however, Western is a great school and would offer you both the opportunity to go to med school and be close to your family.
Click to expand...

Ive thought about it, but I really really do not want to be a DO under any circumstances, I would honestly rather reapply next year over going to a DO school. I wasnt going to even try DO schools until my 2nd app cycle. Im just so unsure/shocked by all this at the moment Im still sorta not sure what the best option is. Im just praying my unique application/awesome upward trend/life story will be enough to hopefully net me a interview at least at UCI. I know an adcom on the UCI committee he said my application would be very strong at UCI, lets hope he wasnt blowing smoke up my ass! lol

koko_eats said:
Don't you need a 3.5 to apply there?
Click to expand...
I think their average is 3.5 and like a 29 mcat very close to what MD schools are. I think it has the highest DO stats of any school, no doubt because its in cali....we cali residents get shafted so much
 
Excelsius said:
Amazing how many of you have encountered such rude SO experiences. Just curious, would most of you who experienced such a loss had a good sexual life going? And by that, I mean for BOTH partners (not your gf faking, as it often happens). A lot of women think of men as inadequate in bed and they are often correct. If a woman is not satisfied, there is not enough oxytocin released to bond her to you. In contrast, if she is, then you get enough of a bond to even be forgiven even a cheating.
Click to expand...

LOL...sex doctor in the house! Sooooooooooooooooo you were on Tila Tequila's show and now you think you are an expert 😛

Please, carry on! :laugh:....I mean a relationship can ONLY be defined by the quality of sex that occurs, right? :laugh:

So I am wondering, is that how players often succeed when one of their chicks finds out he's messing around with another?...the CONNECTION they made when she passed that oxytocin release threshold just keeps her coming back for seconds. :laugh:
 
I got dumped/broke up right before finals two times during college: once in my freshman year after my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years cheated on me. Got straight A's that semester. Broken up with before finals during my junior year (1 1/2 yrs with that DB) then actually a third time with some loser who wasn't worth the time of day. So I know how much what you're going through sucks. Like someone else said, every relationship you will have is going to fail until one doesn't.

If she's just turning 21 my suspicion is that there is some immaturity issues afoot: I don't think its that uncommon of a thing especially if you guys were together so long and she's "coming of age," you know? Its stupid, but a lot of girls are. Her going on Spring Break to party it up with her friends is even further evidence of that...its a lot to expect of someone to be in a long-distance relationship, but if it means giving up a Spring Break to be with my SO, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Don't be so self-loathing to go to that concert. You're only rubbing more salt in the wound. Scalp the tickets and forget her. Its a tough situation, but her timing could have used better judgment. Don't blame yourself because its tough for anyone in our shoes, and damn near impossible to find someone who will understand everything our career path requires of us.

Moral of the story? We're gonna have a lot more relationship challenges ahead of us. You are going to have learn to compartmentalize your life so that problems in one aspect of your life don't poison everything. My problems in undergrad have taught me to do just that, and I hope you can too. Kick *** on the MCAT.
 
sarahl86 said:
I got dumped/broke up right before finals two times during college: once in my freshman year after my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years cheated on me. Got straight A's that semester. Broken up with before finals during my junior year (1 1/2 yrs with that DB) then actually a third time with some loser who wasn't worth the time of day. So I know how much what you're going through sucks. Like someone else said, every relationship you will have is going to fail until one doesn't.

If she's just turning 21 my suspicion is that there is some immaturity issues afoot: I don't think its that uncommon of a thing especially if you guys were together so long and she's "coming of age," you know? Its stupid, but a lot of girls are. Her going on Spring Break to party it up with her friends is even further evidence of that...its a lot to expect of someone to be in a long-distance relationship, but if it means giving up a Spring Break to be with my SO, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Don't be so self-loathing to go to that concert. You're only rubbing more salt in the wound. Scalp the tickets and forget her. Its a tough situation, but her timing could have used better judgment. Don't blame yourself because its tough for anyone in our shoes, and damn near impossible to find someone who will understand everything our career path requires of us.

Moral of the story? We're gonna have a lot more relationship challenges ahead of us. You are going to have learn to compartmentalize your life so that problems in one aspect of your life don't poison everything. My problems in undergrad have taught me to do just that, and I hope you can too. Kick *** on the MCAT.
Click to expand...
Yay for inspiring stories! And yes! Agree with her to get rid of those tickets or let her friend have yours.
 
Elijah05 said:
Ive thought about it, but I really really do not want to be a DO under any circumstances, I would honestly rather reapply next year over going to a DO school. I wasnt going to even try DO schools until my 2nd app cycle. Im just so unsure/shocked by all this at the moment Im still sorta not sure what the best option is. Im just praying my unique application/awesome upward trend/life story will be enough to hopefully net me a interview at least at UCI. I know an adcom on the UCI committee he said my application would be very strong at UCI, lets hope he wasnt blowing smoke up my ass! lol
Click to expand...

I think it'd be a good idea to write about your wife/son in your secondary if you have the opportunity to tell them extenuating circumstances or any extra info. I think it'd be seen in really good light considering that you have a greater need to stay in California than do most applicants and it's a compelling reason that I think adcoms will appreciate.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Super_Student21
  • Question Question
Can anyone please spare advice I am so lost
Replies
15
Views
2K
The OTC
The OTC
B
Scholarship Process/Timing
Replies
2
Views
908
Mr.Smile12
Mr.Smile12
folkstyle
  • Question Question
How is SES used in admissions process?
Replies
6
Views
1K
Mr.Smile12
Mr.Smile12
L
Admissions process?
Replies
13
Views
4K
Mr.Smile12
Mr.Smile12
S
How Much Does the MCAT Actually Matter in the App Review Process?
Replies
10
Views
3K
Mr.Smile12
Mr.Smile12
Top