Anyone lost their SO in this process?

[ZeusonRoids]

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the parents thing and emotional and financial dependence is probably one aspect that an american will never or find it EXTREMELY difficult to understand about asians or muslim cultures...

I understand financial and emotional dependence (I was once in the same boat myself). But at some point you either need to mature into the person YOU want to become, or default into the person your parents want you to become and thus you are not truly living YOUR life but rather are a younger extention of your parents life

LOL that reminds me of what my uncle did...my family is japanese and he married a mexican....my grandma didnt speak to him for about 10 years lol. Gotta love fobs and their old traditions and racist ways.

Yeah my mother was born into a family that was Mormon. She left the church when she was 13 and when she was in her early 20's and met my father, they lived together before they were married and my mothers entire family did not speak to her for 3 years (both because he was not mormon and because they were not married while they were living together). The point is my mother was not willing to perpetuate outdated ideals just to please her parents.

I'm indian as you can figure from my username if you know your Indian states, from the state of Gujarat.

I have many muslim friends so I understand how it goes. Myself, I'm hindu and we have similar beliefs to some extent when it comes to marrying within culture.

I understand what drives children to not go against their parents. In a religions as strict as Islam where culture is deeply intertwined with religion, it is truly taboo to marry out of religion esp. for a girl because that means her children will be raised with her husband's religion and not hers. So its a huge deal. I understand why they don't want to go against their parents.. there are actually quite a few places where muslims and even some hindus and sikhs kill their daughters in honor killings over such issues.

For us, we are raised so freely that we just don't get it. But for many this is a lack of honor to their family, it goes against their relgion, against their values and belief system. So yes its a big deal. It has nothing to do with the financial dependence or emotional dependence. it has to do with traditions that are long standing based on religious and cultural beliefs.

same with the financial dependence. Traditionally, indians and Pakistanis and Bengalis, regardless of religion, are taught that boys will live with parents in adulthood and take care of their parents and family because our culture does not believe in nursing homes. It again is a matter of honor. And likewise we are taught that we are to support our children to the best of our ability so that they take care of us when they are older if they are sons, and so that we can protect our daughters until they are married.

that is the mindset that I grew up with and that is Indian culture traditionally speaking and same with the other desi cultures. I'm sure this is true in many muslim countries too.

Wow you sound like an arrogant SOB. You really don't get it do you??? have you ever had good muslim friends beynd your girlfriend?? First of all, ou say you were only with her for her looks, so why is she the bad guy for breaking it off?? Secondly, you call her a dumb witch with a b, so perhaps she did right in leaving you.

Thirdly, you don't get it. Islamic culture is not so permissive. her parents might not just have been accepting no matter what time has passed. Wake up and look at the news. see what happens at the most extreme. i.e. honor killings, harsh sharia laws, etc. Regardless of whether you are at the most extreme or a somewhat liberal muslim it is against religious beliefs, against cultural beliefs, and against the honor of a family according to those beliefs to marry against religion. Not everyone is very liberal to agree with it. Not everyone is willing to go against their parents to marry someone who their parent won't approve of. It is the same thing in hindu culture and sikh culture. She did the right thing for her family and judging by the nasty things you say on here she did the right thing and her parents did her a favor as yours did you a favor by not letting you be with someone who was not right for you. But that doesn't mean you have to insult her by calling her racist or dumb.

First: she is racist. She broke up with me for the sole reason that I was not the right skin color or born into a certain area of the world.

Second: my parents did not and will not influence those girls I choose to date. They loved my ex...they just mentioned how we may not have been very intellectually compatible (and that was only after we broke up..and probably to help me get over it)

Third: addressing the bold statement. IMO because they do not stand up for what they think is right, they are perpetuating ignorance and intolerance of another culture. For example if I did not want to associate with you because you were Indian, then I think you could say that was a little racist (even if I was only doing it to please my parents).

4th: This is how racism and intolerance gets passed along to new generations. At some point people are going to take a stand for what they believe in, even if it may disappoint their parents.

5th: Uhh... I live with my best friend who was born in India. My other good friend is an American born person with parents who were born in Sri Lanka And I have 2 other very good friends who were born in the middle east (one in Saudi Arabia and the other in Iraq). So I think I understand the "cultural pressures". On the other hand, my friends are willing to look beyond race or religion (even if it upsets their parents) they understand that if they did otherwise they would be propagating the xenophobic and racist attitudes (some of) their parents have towards other races or religions.

If it were the other way around I doubt you would give a caucasian slack. If a person had parents that were in the KKK and they decided to break up with a person of another race (even though they loved him/her) just to please their parents, I would have absolutely no respect for that person and I believe you would feel the same way. This is esentially what happend to me.

 

[Excelsius]

LOL...sex doctor in the house! Sooooooooooooooooo you were on Tila Tequila's show and now you think you are an expert 😛

Please, carry on! ....I mean a relationship can ONLY be defined by the quality of sex that occurs, right?

So I am wondering, is that how players often succeed when one of their chicks finds out he's messing around with another?...the CONNECTION they made when she passed that oxytocin release threshold just keeps her coming back for seconds.

Hahahahaha. You're the second person who didn't understand what I said. In no way that is the most important aspect, but it is an important factor. I remember how in one of my humanities courses we were looking at statistics that showed the undeniable importance of that aspect, even though if you ask people, they'll usually think it doesn't matter because they pretty much take that factor for granted.

And cheating differs a lot on case-by-case basis. No one ever gets a free pass. It would be stupid to assume that just because you have provided enough oxytocine it means that you're home free. What I meant was that when all dimensions of a relationships are satisfactory, then two people can overcome even a serious situation like cheating, whereas "not having enough time for your SO because of being a premed" pales in comparison to that and therefore in the right relationship should not be a factor at all.

 

[Appless]

I think it'd be a good idea to write about your wife/son in your secondary if you have the opportunity to tell them extenuating circumstances or any extra info. I think it'd be seen in really good light considering that you have a greater need to stay in California than do most applicants and it's a compelling reason that I think adcoms will appreciate.

I was thinking about that but I was a little apprehensive about doing so. Im not sure whether it would be seen in a positive or negative light that I want to stay here so i can be able to see my son and stressing that as a large reason why I need to be admitted to cali schools. This whole process is so random/unknown to everyone its just hard to tell how certain things will be seen.

 

[riceman04]

Hahahahaha. You're the second person who didn't understand what I said. In no way that is the most important aspect, but it is an important factor. I remember how in one of my humanities courses we were looking at statistics that showed the undeniable importance of that aspect, even though if you ask people, they'll usually think it doesn't matter because they pretty much take that factor for granted.

And cheating differs a lot on case-by-case basis. No one ever gets a free pass. It would be stupid to assume that just because you have provided enough oxytocine it means that you're home free. What I meant was that when all dimensions of a relationships are satisfactory, then two people can overcome even a serious situation like cheating, whereas "not having enough time for your SO because of being a premed" pales in comparison to that and therefore in the right relationship should not be a factor at all.

hmmmmm...I will say that's interesting b/c that suggests such sensation outweighs what would be considered rational thought...ok..you've taken the class (with Tila j/k) and i have not

 

[witness23]

i heard tila tequila. whats going on? is she here?

 

[UVAbme2009]

Trust me when I say this: don't be a sap. Don't chase after her. Don't say a word to her. If you really want her back, you just have to leave things alone. Let her realize she messed up. By then, you may not want her back anyways.

 

[witness23]

lets be real tho, no one usually takes advice in these situations. its a slow learning curve, and sometimes its the same story different person of interest

 

[div141]

4th: This is how racism and intolerance gets passed along to new generations. At some point people are going to take a stand for what they believe in, even if it may disappoint their parents.

.

I'm Indian and my mother actually told me she would be fine with me being with a white guy rather than some indians that she knows...

 

[witness23]

the office - diwali episode was great

"she's really fair"
"yes, she is really fair. and nice"

 

[div141]

the office - diwali episode was great

"she's really fair"
"yes, she is really fair. and nice"

its ridiculous how fairness is this like barrier among indians
if you're not fair you're missing something...lol

and in the US, everybody goes to get tans in the summer

 

[witness23]

yea but ill admit that i dont really like burnt somosas

 

[badapplestix]

I understand financial and emotional dependence (I was once in the same boat myself). But at some point you either need to mature into the person YOU want to become, or default into the person your parents want you to become and thus you are not truly living YOUR life but rather are a younger extention of your parents life



Yeah my mother was born into a family that was Mormon. She left the church when she was 13 and when she was in her early 20's and met my father, they lived together before they were married and my mothers entire family did not speak to her for 3 years (both because he was not mormon and because they were not married while they were living together). The point is my mother was not willing to perpetuate outdated ideals just to please her parents.






First: she is racist. She broke up with me for the sole reason that I was not the right skin color or born into a certain area of the world.

Second: my parents did not and will not influence those girls I choose to date. They loved my ex...they just mentioned how we may not have been very intellectually compatible (and that was only after we broke up..and probably to help me get over it)

Third: addressing the bold statement. IMO because they do not stand up for what they think is right, they are perpetuating ignorance and intolerance of another culture. For example if I did not want to associate with you because you were Indian, then I think you could say that was a little racist (even if I was only doing it to please my parents).

4th: This is how racism and intolerance gets passed along to new generations. At some point people are going to take a stand for what they believe in, even if it may disappoint their parents.

5th: Uhh... I live with my best friend who was born in India. My other good friend is an American born person with parents who were born in Sri Lanka And I have 2 other very good friends who were born in the middle east (one in Saudi Arabia and the other in Iraq). So I think I understand the "cultural pressures". On the other hand, my friends are willing to look beyond race or religion (even if it upsets their parents) they understand that if they did otherwise they would be propagating the xenophobic and racist attitudes (some of) their parents have towards other races or religions.

If it were the other way around I doubt you would give a caucasian slack. If a person had parents that were in the KKK and they decided to break up with a person of another race (even though they loved him/her) just to please their parents, I would have absolutely no respect for that person and I believe you would feel the same way. This is esentially what happend to me.

You basically dismissed the culture of a large part of the world in one post lol

 

[pianola]

To the OP: It sounds like you probably did nothing wrong. Long distance is just very, very hard unless you're totally committed to it from the start and have a definite end date to the "long distance". Don't blame yourself for this...

I made my S.O. watch all of the doctors' diaries on PBS and read certain threads on SDN about residency so he'd know what we were getting into. You have to be clear from the get-go that this is a tough career and there are gonna be a lot of challenges.

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Responding to other random impressions/breakups in the thread:
As a woman, I *sure* wouldn't be able to follow any guy around the country so that he could get his precious medical degree. I mean, it's just not possible. I wouldn't blame any woman who felt the same way I did, either. Fast-breaking News Flash: Many women also have careers these days.

Also, what woman is *supposed* to expect to come second to her man's career for the rest of her life? I mean, come on now...maybe some people would put up with those terms, but I'd have a HARD time blaming those who wouldn't!

*feels the need to go makeout with SO before all is lost*

What this person said.

 

[ZeusonRoids]

You basically dismissed the culture of a large part of the world in one post lol

well i try🙄...usually not this good at doing it

 

[SoFreakedOut]

I agree with the person who said that if she is not willing to stick it out through the rough times, she does not deserve to be with an MD. Also breaking up with you days before your MCAT is a really ****ty thing for her to do...I know my ex would constantly mind**** the **** out of me and either get mad at me (for no reason other than the fact I was studying for a test or something) or break up with me right before I had a big event.

I have been through the exact same thing (including the drunk SDN posting). My SO broke up with me the day after I moved 100 miles and signed a 9 month apartment lease to be closer to her (which she was constantly begging me to do). That also happened to be about 1 week before my first interview.

We then "got back together" the day before I flew out to interview at a school and stayed together for another month. Then she broke up with me again (no real reason given as to why both times btw...other than she was Arab and could not have a white BF...racist *****) but this time it was literally the day before I got into medical school. She was also applying to schools (dental...pssshhtt) but got rejected to all of them, so I have made it a point to rub my 5 acceptances in her face.


Long story short since we split up some funny things have happened

1. I have had the most productive dating period in my life
2. I am happy I can meet new people at medical school without spending all of my time with her
3. I discovered the reason I was with her was 100% for her looks and I was so infatuated that I really did not notice how dumb she was. All of my friends and even my parents (who don't usually say negative things about other people) said that she was not the brightest person and gave examples that I had overlooked.
4. I just found out from a mutual friend that she got engaged (less than 3 months after we broke up BTW) lol I honestly think it might be her 2nd cousin because she mentioned that her mom had been trying to set her up with him. I am betting that she gets knocked up within 1 month of them actually getting hitched because her mother if pressuring her to have children (even though she is just 22)

She sounds like she is kind of a needy ***** who feels she is entitled to always be with people during the good times and is unwilling to go through the rough patches with you. Good riddance IMO. Next year just go out and hook up with some hot chicks (it is really easy once you actually get into medical school cuz you can always drop that line which leads to them wanting to hook up for some reason.)

I don't know why everyone's getting on your case so much. Yes, you're bitter, but I think it's due to logical circumstances. This girl wasn't upfront form the start. If she were very much into her culture and cared greatly about what her parents thought, which is more than acceptable, then she shouldn't have dated you in the first place. Why play with you in such a cruel way? Not only that, but she had you move to where she was, sign a lease, broke up with you at very inconsiderate times, and had "great physical chemistry" (something you said in reply to a post asking about sex). So no, it wasn't really fair for her to do that to you even if she did feel inclined to follow her culture. What's more, it's not really fair to her parents either. I'm sure if they found out all of this they'd be infuriated.

 

[drareg]

to the OP, in order to be the SO of a med student you need to be extremely strong, its not cut out for everyone. Every pre-med goes through this with relationships, this type of career just does not allow one to maintain a steady loving relationship. The worst part of it is getting into medical school; thats just the absolute worst time to have a SO.

Just realize that everyone goes through breakups and although at the time its the worst thing in the world, like everyone else, you will get over it. Believe me she will regret it in the future because not everyone is determined, motivated and goal oriented like yourself and she wont find those qualities in all guys.

Let her go, dont wait for her and dont expect her to "realize her mistake". Learn from it and grow. Youll be alright man, seeya.

 

[WilsonFan]

Dude, seriously. If she can't take the simple prospect of you following a career path that may take up "too much" of your time (aka she's jealous that something else will take up even a fraction more of your attention), she needs to get a grip. Without knowing the full extent of the situation, I can say that you are much better without her.

What happens if you get into an accident and wind up in the hospital for 2 months? Will she break up with you then because "she's not getting the attention she deserves"? What if you lose your job or one of your relatives dies, leaving you "unable" to attend to her every need? It's really not healthy for her to insist that her needs comes before your hopes and dreams.

Not cool.

 

[MilkmanAl]

If she can't take the simple prospect of you following a career path that may take up "too much" of your time (aka she's jealous that something else will take up even a fraction more of your attention), she needs to get a grip.

While I'd like to agree with you, this statement is very naive. Medicine (and med school) will take up a stunning amount of your time. Many SO's simply can't understand why you have to study constantly despite not having any assigned work. Even if that notion does compute, maybe (s)he just wants more attention than you can provide. That doesn't make your SO a bad person, but it does mean that your career choice is making the two of you incompatible. It isn't your SO's responsibility to sacrifice his/her happiness to make an untenable relationship work, and assuming otherwise is unbelievably self-centered.

 

[fahimaz7]

There's nothing finer than coming home to someone that likes you. Not all marriages/engagements that are in-tact, prior to matriculation, will end in failure.

Be patient, respectful, and thoughtful...

Oh yeh, and MD is nothing but a person. Get off the high horse and realize that there's a lot more to a marriage than having the "superior" title. Talk about a big ego...

 

[KingstonPre]

You guys had life easy,

I had an ex who went out of her way to try to stop me from becoming a doctor.

She paid some thugs from Miami to jump me at a party, only time I've ever been beaten up in my life. I didn't find out the real reason why until a few years later. She has this weird obsession with me, I think it's because we have the same heritage, or that I dumped her. To show you how crazy she is... she found and fought my next TWO girlfriends in broad daylight. She spent about $5,000 in total trying to mess up my life, and there's nothing I can do about it but dust off and keep trying to make something out of myself.

Now that I've matured I only date women who are progressive and have positive attitudes.

Anyway I heard from a mutual friend that she's in route to become an RN, whatever, I can't leave my current city so if I'm attending and I see her she'll be on sponge-bath duty, that's if I choose to work with her at all.

 

[ZeusonRoids]

I don't know why everyone's getting on your case so much. Yes, you're bitter, but I think it's due to logical circumstances. This girl wasn't upfront form the start. If she were very much into her culture and cared greatly about what her parents thought, which is more than acceptable, then she shouldn't have dated you in the first place. Why play with you in such a cruel way? Not only that, but she had you move to where she was, sign a lease, broke up with you at very inconsiderate times, and had "great physical chemistry" (something you said in reply to a post asking about sex). So no, it wasn't really fair for her to do that to you even if she did feel inclined to follow her culture. What's more, it's not really fair to her parents either. I'm sure if they found out all of this they'd be infuriated.

Thank you...Finally someone who is viewing this in a rational way. I was TOTALLY played. If she knew she had no future with a white boy then why did she fall in love with me, date me for nearly a year, ask me to move to the same city as her (where I signed a 9 month lease) and then literally break up with me the day after I moved there??

Gujudoc--I just re-read all of your posts and I still think that what she did was wrong. Just because part of the world has really outdated practices, treats women like trash, and only associates with people of the same religion as themselves does not make this the "right" thing to do simply because it has been happening for years and years to the point that it is ingraned into the culture...I mean look at slavery which was accepted in nearly every part of the world for centuries...now you would be hard pressed to find a country that tolerates slavery (at least in the 1st world).

By the way Gujudoc, something about your posts really just gets under my skin and gives me the creeps... maybe it is that I can sense that you are defending something that you know is wrong because you feel you need to "represent" for your "culture"...or maybe it is because I feel that you have no respect for people who have a different culture than you and you feel that your culture is always right and is better than everyone elses...maybe all of the above

 

[MilkmanAl]

I agree if we're talking about dating, but not marriage. When we said for better or worse, we meant it.

Most med students don't know what they're getting themselves into, so your husband/wife is going into it pretty much blind. Marriages break up constantly for reasons far less significant than one party not giving sufficient attention to the other for 7+ years. Everyone - every Christian, at least - takes the same vows, so I'm going to go ahead and assume those words aren't quite as rock-solid as maybe you'd like.

 

[rkaz]

Ive thought about it, but I really really do not want to be a DO under any circumstances, I would honestly rather reapply next year over going to a DO school. I wasnt going to even try DO schools until my 2nd app cycle. Im just so unsure/shocked by all this at the moment Im still sorta not sure what the best option is. Im just praying my unique application/awesome upward trend/life story will be enough to hopefully net me a interview at least at UCI. I know an adcom on the UCI committee he said my application would be very strong at UCI, lets hope he wasnt blowing smoke up my ass! lol

Sorry for not replying to you earlier... but I have a perspective, whether or not you would agree with me.

Although I hope you do get accepted to a UC school, I would certainly encourage you to choose Western over any other MD school out of state. I understand that many of us have our egos tied to the MD initials. I personally am going DO, even though I'd prefer the MD title. However, if going to a DO school allows you to live closer to your son, I can't imagine choosing any other way.

If you move out of state for medical school, you would be leaving your son during his formative years. Can you imagine trying to justify this to him many years later in life? What would you say? "Well son, I could have gone to a DO school near where we lived which would have allowed me the chance to see you grow up.... but my ego was tied to having an MD, so I chose to go to any MD school I got into, which happened to be out-of-state. And thus, I missed years of your birthdays and seeing you grow up."

Personally, if my father did that to me, I'd feel deeply hurt and unloved by him. I am not trying to be judgmental here... but really think about this. As a parent, you make sacrifices for your children. I'm not necessarily saying that going to a DO school is a sacrifice, especially not Western... which is a great program. But I honestly can't see how the small ego-boost you'd get by being an MD over a DO is worth ditching your child over.

 

[Excelsius]

I agree if we're talking about dating, but not marriage. When we said for better or worse, we meant it.

Words do not matter. If you are going to rely on what was said and assume any privileges or rights based on that, you're bound to fail. Two people either love each other and make sacrifices or they don't. It has nothing to do with promises or marriage status. Marriage is just society's way (perhaps church's way) to ratify possession. In the right relationship, the implicit ratification takes place well before the marriage. The act of marrying serves no purpose but legalization and approval by the society. In a few decades marriage will be nothing but a paperwork formality to get rights to hospital visitations and tax deductions. Many people are already bypassing the church.

Don't stick to promises too much. If you really want to rely on what was said, you better put it in writing and have it signed, aka, prenup.

 

[supergumbo]

Thank you...Finally someone who is viewing this in a rational way. I was TOTALLY played. If she knew she had no future with a white boy then why did she fall in love with me, date me for nearly a year, ask me to move to the same city as her (where I signed a 9 month lease) and then literally break up with me the day after I moved there??

Gujudoc--I just re-read all of your posts and I still think that what she did was wrong. Just because part of the world has really outdated practices, treats women like trash, and only associates with people of the same religion as themselves does not make this the "right" thing to do simply because it has been happening for years and years to the point that it is ingraned into the culture...I mean look at slavery which was accepted in nearly every part of the world for centuries...now you would be hard pressed to find a country that tolerates slavery (at least in the 1st world).

By the way Gujudoc, something about your posts really just gets under my skin and gives me the creeps... maybe it is that I can sense that you are defending something that you know is wrong because you feel you need to "represent" for your "culture"...or maybe it is because I feel that you have no respect for people who have a different culture than you and you feel that your culture is always right and is better than everyone elses...maybe all of the above

I agree with your first paragraph completely, but I disagree with the rest. Then again, I'm an Indian Muslim from a backwards society with backward beliefs.

And this topic is a mine field. 😱

 

[ZeusonRoids]

I agree with your first paragraph completely, but I disagree with the rest. Then again, I'm an Indian Muslim from a backwards society with backward beliefs.

And this topic is a mine field. 😱

Just because I think some of the beliefs are outdated does not mean that I think the whole culture is "Backwards".

Many cultures at one point or another have had beliefs that if were in place now we would think of as outdated. Many years from now I am sure that many of the beliefs we hold today in America and around the world will be viewed as barbaric and outdated... I am simply pointing out one thing I PERSONALLY think is like 100+ years out of date.

Ohh.. and FTR I am 99% sure she is marrying her 2nd cousin LOL gross.

But that brings me back to something being outdated. It was once not considered disgusting to marry a 2nd cousin, but in the USA it is pretty disgusting (at least to me)...but I guess I don't really care if someone else wants to do it.

 

[muhali3]

"take care of her needs" wtf, she needs to learn how to take care of herself and stop being so clingy. Unless, she means sex by "needs". So she's basically saying "you won't be able to fulfill my sexual needs during med school, therefore I need to move on to someone else who can."

 

[Crazyday]

Again, depends on family to family. My parents also don't care but fact is it is a huge deal especially for the uber religious types to not marry out of religion because that means your children are raised in a different religion. there are many christians who are equally racist is not more racist. and maybe racist is not the right term so much as prejudiced because a lot of arabs are considered caucasians and so therefore that also negates the other poster's point since Race = white, black, Asian, etc.

Race does not equal arab because most arabs are considered Caucasian by race.

So prejudice or discriminatory is a better term even if that is what you believe.

But back to my point, I know Christians who are equally discriminatory telling others they are going to hell if they don't believe in Jesus, trying to force people to convert to a religion they don't believe in, etc. I've experienced it. there are christians who don't like their family members marrying out of religion, there are black people who don't like their family marrying out of race or religion. It is everywhere. it is people's beliefs and people believe in their traditions. It is the way the world is. Get over it and get used to it.

Dude get over yourself. This thread is old. your arguments are old. We get it with what you think and we also disagree with it. You need to lay off.

I normally don't disagree with you, but I think you're way off here; I don't even know how or why you picked a battle with him to begin with, as his post was quite benign. Notice that you're seemingly the only person to take such offense at his post in this thread.

His point that she shouldn't have dated outside of her religion in the first place, instead of waiting until he buys a lease etc. is extremely valid, yet you fail to recognize it. If you can't argue anything except "get over yourself" (what does he need to get over?), then you should really stop trying.

In the bible belt I could see you finding Christians that, fanatic, shall we say. It's funny how even a good portion of our own country gets their kicks off of the rednecks that pretty much define what you said. Most of us realize when something needs to be left behind. If everyone followed what their parents said, we'd still have slavery among other things.

I'm not dissing your culture or anything (although you will surely see it as such), but living in your parent's image is not the way to be happy. Maybe it works for some people, but to me it takes away from the whole aspect of being an independent human being in a vast world.

To me, I see tradition and religion as ways to keep people from having a good time, intentionally or unintentionally. Maybe western marriages fail because people rush into them without thinking things through half the time. Maybe set up marriages work because the woman feels pressured by her culture and her parents to make it work.

Personally, I don't believe in religion. I still thank whatever creator is up there for each day it gives me, but I don't tie myself into what another man says is right and wrong. I decide what is right and what is wrong, with my God-given conscience and wisdom. I decide what will make me happy and make me feel like I have integrity. I don't need another man to tell me what will make me happy.

And so far it's done me pretty well.

Believe whatever makes you happy. If it happens to be what your parents and culture dictate to you, great. Just don't act surprised when people judge you based on your beliefs, no matter how they judge you, because our beliefs define who we are, and are just another method of judging or being judged. I know that if I meet a woman who will not date me or marry me because I am not of her religion, it will be her loss.

And how did we manage to stray to this topic from the original post?