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Anyone was in the same situation and pulled it off?

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical - MD' started by gildas, Apr 20, 2004.

  1. gildas

    gildas Senior Member
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    I just found out last week that my girlfriend is pregnant. I have been stressing out really bad. I am a junior trying to take the MCAT next year and apply to med school. Now I have to reajust my life. I was planning to lower my work hours ,and dedicate my time for voluntary work and physician shodowing. Now I am confuse and don't know what to do.
    Any advise?
     
  2. hmno82

    hmno82 Senior Member
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    If you're serious then you should speak with a counselor at school. They can point you in the right direction as to who you should talk to about how to do all of this. If you're going to have to take care of a baby, work to support it, and go to medical school at the same time you can kiss sleeping goodbye. Having a baby in the house is a full time job on it's own, and so is medical school. Like I said, you should really talk to a professional that has seen this stuff before. I wish you all the luck in world!
     
  3. JohnnyOU

    JohnnyOU Slow like Honey
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    Just remember bud... it's not all on your shoulders. Your lil lady is fully capable of doing her share, and will probably want to.

    Johnny
     
  4. exmike

    exmike NOR * CAL
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    You should go talk to planned parenthood first and talk about your options before doing anything rash. Best of luck.
     
  5. snowbear

    snowbear Senior Member
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    I also advise talking to an advisor, but be careful to evaluate what they say and don't take it to be 100% accurate, because I am sure we have all had our fair share of bad advisors.

    My advice is to take some deep breaths. Don't jump to any conclusions right away. Try to do some research on financial aid for med students who also need to support their families. I know one guy who goes to med school and his wife is a full-time mother (doesn't work) and they get their money from financial aid (mostly loans, but also some grants).

    You may have to juggle some more stuff right now (job, volunteer--you could even try to find a job where you get clinical experience) but don't look at this beautiful occasion as something that will ruin all of your dreams. A lot of people before you have gone to med school with kids and a lot of people after you will do it too. I am not trying to say that it will not be hard, I am just saying that there are ways of doing it.


    Good Luck!
     
  6. cjg

    cjg Junior Member

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    I have no experience with being in medical school with a child, but three years ago my husband and I had a premature infant. She weighed ONE pound at birth and was in the hospital (three hours away from our home) for a year...tons of health issues, but is MUCH MUCH better now :) . It was definitely the worst hell I've ever been thru, but I did continue to go to school and work, as well as did my husband. I DO NOT think that I, the mother, could've gone to MEDICAL school and handled this all at the same time, but I really DO think my husband could have. It is definitely not impossible, and if you can go to a school that is near family, that would help you a lot with the child. Hopefully your girlfriend will be able to maintain a good salary coming in (depends on age/education...) and then you will have financial aid as well. I'm just saying, you CAN do this, as long as your girlfriend has her head on straight as well. Babies take a lot of attention and time, but life goes on and you just get thru it.
     
  7. WyldeWolf1

    WyldeWolf1 Get your own!
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    Don't just talk to the advisor. Talk to your parents and other family who will be the bulk of your support network. Talk to any spiritual/religious figure or other individual you respect who shares similar moral views to your own. In fact, you may want to talk to these people first. Odds are, they're going to be much more relevant to your situation (esp your family).

    Mostly, hang in there. Yes, you're young, but you're not alone. Others have been there and made it, and if you're like most people, there are individuals ready to rally around you.
     
  8. beriberi

    beriberi Senior Member
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    I don' t know if this needs to be said, but I will say it anyway... talk to your girlfriend. Does she want to keep the baby? Does she want to raise it? With you? Those are the big questions right now, before anything else. Also, Planned Parenthood would be a great place to start, if either of you might consider abortion. Despite what you may have heard elsewhere, the counselors there have no vested interest in getting a woman to have an abortion and are well trained at helping a woman/couple figure out what is the right decision for them at this time.
     
  9. beanbean

    beanbean 1K Member
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    You can handle just about everything in life if you remained grounded and keep your priorities straight.

    1) Your own health and happiness must come first - without these you are worth nothing to everyone.

    2) The health and happiness of your family and loved ones.

    3) Work, school and all that other stuff.

    I am an MS1 and have three children. My son was born 2 1/2 weeks into my first year and is now almost 8 months old. John was definitely a BIG surprise, but he has been the most amazing gift. I have a very supportive husband and my parents help out as well. So far everything has balanced fine between school and family and I have only had a few moments where I thought I was losing my mind. However, last year I really questioned if I would ever be able to attend medical school under these circumstances.

    Take care and take things one step at a time. Medical school can still be in your future; it is up to you to decide if and when.

    Feel free to PM me.

    Deirdre
     
  10. LP1CW

    LP1CW Senior Member
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    My Friend, be strong. When I was a sophmore, I got a girl pregnant. I never told my family. It was hard, painful. I wasn't serious about the girl. I cared about her, but I just didn't feel equipped to be a dad. She was on the pill. I thought we were safe. I'm still not clear about what happened, maybe she missed a couple of days.

    I didn't support the idea of an abortion, but I didn't fight it either. We talked. She cried. She was scared. She was a freshman and afraid of what our families would think. She was black. I'm a white guy, jewish. Her parents would have flipped for many reasons. Mine would have struggled too, I'm sure.

    She had the abortion, 11th week. We stayed friends for a couple of months, even tried to date, be intimate, but we couldn't. Occasionally, I see her around. She's involved with someone knew. We live with some guilt, but the pain does subside. People think that men don't hurt. It does hurt.

    We never talk. It's sad. I do think about what happened, about her, about it all. I've had regrets, but I also don't think it would have been fair for her to drop out of school, to give up on her education, her future.

    Today, I'm with someone new. I'm staring NYU this fall. My life has been blessed, but it's something that I live with. It's not an easy choice. I hope that you both can arrive at the right choice.

    I know you're scared and I wish I could help you. If you have a faith tradition, seek counsel, support. Pray. And know that you're not alone, others have faced this and others have found strength.
     
  11. gildas

    gildas Senior Member
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    Thank you guys for your support and advises.
    She wants to have it, but seriously I have never been so scare in my life.
     
  12. Doc Martins

    Doc Martins Senior Member
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    It's definitely a scary situation.. but it is not impossible to get through. My brother, who is 20, just had a baby and believe me, he is the last person I would expect to be capable of raising one. But he's doing it, and going to school and working. Given that med school is a full time job in itself, I think with enough determination, you'll get through it. Good luck.
     

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