My Friend, be strong. When I was a sophmore, I got a girl pregnant. I never told my family. It was hard, painful. I wasn't serious about the girl. I cared about her, but I just didn't feel equipped to be a dad. She was on the pill. I thought we were safe. I'm still not clear about what happened, maybe she missed a couple of days.
I didn't support the idea of an abortion, but I didn't fight it either. We talked. She cried. She was scared. She was a freshman and afraid of what our families would think. She was black. I'm a white guy, jewish. Her parents would have flipped for many reasons. Mine would have struggled too, I'm sure.
She had the abortion, 11th week. We stayed friends for a couple of months, even tried to date, be intimate, but we couldn't. Occasionally, I see her around. She's involved with someone knew. We live with some guilt, but the pain does subside. People think that men don't hurt. It does hurt.
We never talk. It's sad. I do think about what happened, about her, about it all. I've had regrets, but I also don't think it would have been fair for her to drop out of school, to give up on her education, her future.
Today, I'm with someone new. I'm staring NYU this fall. My life has been blessed, but it's something that I live with. It's not an easy choice. I hope that you both can arrive at the right choice.
I know you're scared and I wish I could help you. If you have a faith tradition, seek counsel, support. Pray. And know that you're not alone, others have faced this and others have found strength.