Application/personal statement help

[JGV20]

Hey everyone who crosses this, I am currently working on my personal statement for application to Pay D programs. I am having trouble with the, "hook". I graduated in 2018 and changed my career path towards Psychology. If anyone could give some direction I would appreciate it. I don't know how to integrate personal struggle with my mothers death and upbringing without being too personal.

Thank you in advance

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[psych.meout]

Hey everyone who crosses this, I am currently working on my personal statement for application to Pay D programs. I am having trouble with the, "hook". I graduated in 2018 and changed my career path towards Psychology. If anyone could give some direction I would appreciate it. I don't know how to integrate personal struggle with my mothers death and upbringing without being too personal.

Thank you in advance

Just don't do it.

https://psychology.unl.edu/psichi/Graduate_School_Application_Kisses_of_Death.pdf

 

[Temperance]

How are your upbringing and struggle following your mother's death relevant to your pursuit of graduate study in psychology? Why do you want to tell this story?

That sounds callous, but this is to point out that you have to be able to explain these two things in your statement of purpose to someone who has no idea who you are. The goal is to convince the admissions committee that you are qualified and that you are committed to completing the program. While personal experiences can motivate someone to learn more about mental health and psychology, they may not be sufficient to carry you through 5+ years of training.

If you're trying to use the traditional "hook" of telling a personal story at the start of your statement of purpose, everyone else in the pile will be doing the same thing and many of them have their own story of personal struggle.

 

[JGV20]

How are your upbringing and struggle following your mother's death relevant to your pursuit of graduate study in psychology? Why do you want to tell this story?

That sounds callous, but this is to point out that you have to be able to explain these two things in your statement of purpose to someone who has no idea who you are. The goal is to convince the admissions committee that you are qualified and that you are committed to completing the program. While personal experiences can motivate someone to learn more about mental health and psychology, they may not be sufficient to carry you through 5+ years of training.

If you're trying to use the traditional "hook" of telling a personal story at the start of your statement of purpose, everyone else in the pile will be doing the same thing and many of them have their own story of personal struggle.

First off, thank you for response. Second, I am the first gen in my immediate family to graduate high school, also to go to college. I was initially applying to dental school (been in dental field 7 years, while completing undergrad), my mother passed away and that even had me decide that psychology, clinical has actually been what I have been pursuing and it helped me heal and overcome personal struggles. I just might be over thinking this. I just want a good personal statement that isn't dragging on or also cliche.

 

[MCParent]

First off, thank you for response. Second, I am the first gen in my immediate family to graduate high school, also to go to college. I was initially applying to dental school (been in dental field 7 years, while completing undergrad), my mother passed away and that even had me decide that psychology, clinical has actually been what I have been pursuing and it helped me heal and overcome personal struggles. I just might be over thinking this. I just want a good personal statement that isn't dragging on or also cliche.

Wrong question: how should I describe myself in this personal statement?
Right question: how should I optimally use these 500 words to make it clear that I am a strong applicant?

 

[boba_psych]

Agreed with MCParent, while it can be nice to integrate something personal into your statement of purpose, it is not a personal statement. It should tell a story of your passions of entering the field and touch upon experiences you have had (research experiences, clinical experiences, teaching experiences) that make you a desirable applicant

 

[CheetahGirl]

OP, you have a lot there:

1) Pursuit of higher education (noble, in and of itself)
2) Transformation of your clinical attitude (span of dentistry patients to the actual service delivery of our profession, i.e., perhaps your own supportive psychotherapy?, introspection?, whatever your thought-process that made you arrive at your present decision)
3) Intrinsic motivation of your desired profession after the loss of your Mom (Sorry for your loss). I personally also went through an emotional transformation when my Dad passed away (just before I graduated from undergrad). He was a highly-accomplished, internationally-trained physician, so I felt like I lost my biggest and best advisor (I love my older brothers for their collective memory of him, keeping me strong & grounded). I also wanted to write about him, but I didn't. I wrote about myself, much in the same way MCParent suggested because no one truly cared about his accomplishments or who he was to me...but, who he helped raise and produce was on the 'market,' as their best, most authentic, highly-motivated, empathic, empirically-driven doctoral candidate.

So agreed. Keep the focus on you. And who knows, maybe you'll be able to convey that deep, intrinsic motivation (your loved one instilled in you) with during your interview (I did get to briefly speak of his influences on me, in my interview - so I paid homage in my own way). It will be more relevant when pointedly asked, and much more apropos then.

(Also, some interviewers may still be blessed to have both parents alive, so may completely miss that mark that you're trying to hit. We all certainly don't need to lose someone close to understand loss, but you do open a chapter that others may not have, yet).

Good luck!

 

[theSteppenwolf]

Is "PayD" a euphemism or a typo?

 

[psych.meout]

Is "PayD" a euphemism or a typo?

Freudian slip.

 

[singasongofjoy]

I think that you are a first gen high school and college student in your immediate family, which you seemed to mention almost as a side note, are extremely notable and (despite your very understandable inclination to honor your mother's influence on your path) much more likely to have a favorable impact. That is impressive. Speak to the common threads that have helped make you such a successful student. some of those qualities are likely influenced/shaped by your mother family so consider as previous poster said that you can consider it an internal homage without explicitly saying so in the very limited space (500 words are not much!) Maybe start broad - what qualities and values contributed to your success as a high school and undergraduate? What drives you generally? Then you can focus on more specifically the evolution of why the target of those personality/internal characteristics clarified/came into focus on clinical psych over other career routes you considered (e.g, dental). You realized that you found xyz more interesting/meaningful/motivating to further your education to be equipped to accomplish abc? Frankly having the diversity of perspective having been first-gen is a quality that would be highly valued in many programs provided the rest of your application is solid. Many of the qualities that might have played a part in that (knowing how to follow your curiosity and desire for more knowledge leads to seeking out additonal opportunities, making connections with others? humility in recognizing you don't know what you don't know and so proactively seeking out mentors in various areas and being able to establish and maintain good relationships over time speaking to some good interpersonal abilities? persistence in juggling multiple hats to help pay for school? perspective on things that are challenging for certain segments of population and desire to do something about that? idk obviously as I don't know you, but those are some things mentioned by a previous student i had who was also first-gen) Those are qualities that are essential for success but not things easily taught, so maybe give that train of thought some time to mull over. If the passing of your mother applies to any of that, it should be mentioned in no more than a byline in the statement (if at all), e.g., "...which was brought into greater focus after my mother's passing as <quality> enabled me to <whatever> resulting in <something>". That does not diminish the impact of her on your trajectory but ratehr shows ability to really understand the focus of the prompt (purpose is why you'd be a successful student, not "get to know you as a person").

In case you don't have lots of folks in your life who have given perspective on such things, please do consider carefully the economic cost/benefit of which programs you are applying to, and taking time to beef up your application can ultimately be the very much better decision for many reasons in the long run. There are some good PsyD programs out there but there are also a plethora of really bad or straight up predatory ones. Don't fall into that trap. There's tons of info on that available on various threads here including really sound advice and factors to consider from some of the "regulars" even if the advice might come across as a little salty from time to time Don't fall prey to a predatory type of program just because no one has advised you to be at least equally pragmatic as idealistic in furthering your education. If possible connect with some profs who are clinical psych, the more recently graudated the better probably to give advice.

 

[JGV20]

OP, you have a lot there:

1) Pursuit of higher education (noble, in and of itself)
2) Transformation of your clinical attitude (span of dentistry patients to the actual service delivery of our profession, i.e., perhaps your own supportive psychotherapy?, introspection?, whatever your thought-process that made you arrive at your present decision)
3) Intrinsic motivation of your desired profession after the loss of your Mom (Sorry for your loss). I personally also went through an emotional transformation when my Dad passed away (just before I graduated from undergrad). He was a highly-accomplished, internationally-trained physician, so I felt like I lost my biggest and best advisor (I love my older brothers for their collective memory of him, keeping me strong & grounded). I also wanted to write about him, but I didn't. I wrote about myself, much in the same way MCParent suggested because no one truly cared about his accomplishments or who he was to me...but, who he helped raise and produce was on the 'market,' as their best, most authentic, highly-motivated, empathic, empirically-driven doctoral candidate.

So agreed. Keep the focus on you. And who knows, maybe you'll be able to convey that deep, intrinsic motivation (your loved one instilled in you) with during your interview (I did get to briefly speak of his influences on me, in my interview - so I paid homage in my own way). It will be more relevant when pointedly asked, and much more apropos then.

(Also, some interviewers may still be blessed to have both parents alive, so may completely miss that mark that you're trying to hit. We all certainly don't need to lose someone close to understand loss, but you do open a chapter that others may not have, yet).

Good luck!

Hi I am curious if you would be willing to chat a little more about how I could write this? Did you get into a graduate program?

 

[CheetahGirl]

Hi I am curious if you would be willing to chat a little more about how I could write this? Did you get into a graduate program?

Yes. I did, and a good (some say "excellent") funded PhD clinical psych program in New York. PM me.

Hey...Did I mention my Dad was also world-renowned, just before his passing?
Miss the guy...its been over 20 years. Sigh.

May peace be with our loved ones, and with us. ❤️ 🙏