Attn Medical Students and Residents: Beware Social Media

[operaman]

This probably deserves its own thread but I’ll put it here for now.

Med students and residents - especially new interns - here is perhaps the most important takeaway from the Gu saga aside from the obvious social media and sexual misconduct lessons:

Your reputation is everything. It takes very little time to create a good or bad one. Take a moment and think of classmates and co-residents you think poorly of and how long it took them to create that image in your mind.

If you create a bad reputation, especially as a new intern, you will buy yourself an incredible amount of scrutiny. Once you are under the proverbial microscope it is almost impossible to succeed. Even the very best residents would struggle under that kind of heightened scrutiny. If you are a struggling resident or student, the scrutiny can be unbearable.

Some people try to cope with scrutiny by cutting corners and telling little lies. This can immediately destroy all trust people have for you both inside the hospital and out. Notice how nobody believes Gu’s version of events now that he’s lied so many times about this and other things.

Don’t throw your colleagues under the bus. Don’t do it in the hospital and especially don’t say things publicly to disparage your program and institution. Being persona non grata in the hospital must be a terrible thing and may even end up feeling like bullying or abusive as Gu described it. I’m a pretty strong person and would find it near impossible to do my job if everyone hated me.

Show up on time. Work hard. Have a good attitude or at least pretend to have one. Never lie. Ask for help when you’re struggling. Lean on your colleagues and let them lean on you.

Also know when to pull the ripcord. If Gu had gone to his PD early on and said he was struggling and under the microscope to a point that he couldn’t possibly succeed as a surgeon in that program, I think she would have tried to help him either find another surgery program or a position in another field. With support and no social media s—tstorm, Gu would probably be a senior resident at a top academic Program in another field right now rather than someone likely to be ostracized from the medical field for some time.

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[Mass Effect]

there are differing accounts on that question. with chats that support that she was sending him sexually explicit voicemails and texts.The lady was also free to file chargers prior to this revalation, yet nothing came up before this. Im not trying to defend this POS but lets not equate him to a mass murderer.

In not trying to defend him, that's exactly what you're doing. Sending sexually explicit voicemails and texts (if true, which I doubt) doesn't negate sexual assault.

 

[libertyyne]

In not trying to defend him, that's exactly what you're doing. Sending sexually explicit voicemails and texts (if true, which I doubt) doesn't negate sexual assault.

I dont care for gu and think he deserved to be sacked for his performance and his bad mouthing his program. He also seems like a terrible person.

IIf the bar for proof in sexual assault is one anonymous twitter users account thats pretty low standard. Somehow everything gu says is a lie and everything the other person says is true is also convenient.

I have a hard time believing that if I was sexually assaulted and felt unsafe and disgusted around a person I would continue to communicate with that person especially if that person lived 2 +hours away.

Even if he did sexually assult her. and everything she says is true. he is still not the moral equivalent of a polpot or hitler. Because in making the equivalence it diminishes the horrific experiences of millions of people who actually lived and lost their lives or were tortured under polpot or hitler.

 

[Mass Effect]

IIf the bar for proof in sexual assault is one anonymous twitter users account thats pretty low standard. Somehow everything gu says is a lie and everything the other person says is true is also convenient.

Yes, the bar for proof on the Internet can be something as simple as tweets. We're not in a court of law. Everyone decides what's credible and not and many have decided she is credible. Could we be wrong? Sure. Good thing this isn't a court of law.

I have a hard time believing that if I was sexually assaulted and felt unsafe and disgusted around a person I would continue to communicate with that person especially if that person lived 2 +hours away.

This is actually not an uncommon dynamic in an abusive relationship. You may have a hard time believing it, but some of us have seen it more times than we can count.

 

[nlax30]

I have a hard time believing that if I was sexually assaulted and felt unsafe and disgusted around a person I would continue to communicate with that person especially if that person lived 2 +hours away.

This happens all the time.

 

[IMGASMD]

My 2 cents for what its worth

Was just having breakfast, one older gent was telling a story to a younger one. Something about showing a house as real estate agent. There was one couple from out of town. He refused to show the house without the husband. Out of nowhere, someone at the diner just said, “it is a crazy world out there, you don’t know what they’re going to say/do.” Which I find very applicable in this whole Meow vs Gu saga.

Second thing is, what we do in life matters. If Meow didn’t send those texts or talk about her relationships with the cardiologist and the EM attendings, her creditability certainly would count for more. On SDN, we like to discuss how we have to “reinvent” ourselves to be a better applicant or candidates. If we are prefect, we’d never have to reinvent anything.

People are stupid and the world is hard.

 

[Major]

Here is the ZdoggMD video on it all.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

I have a hard time believing that if I was sexually assaulted and felt unsafe and disgusted around a person I would continue to communicate with that person especially if that person lived 2 +hours away.

You would be surprised. I know people who were assaulted or physically and emotionally abused for a very long time while continuing to stay with their abuser. It happens all the time.

In fact, I had to intervene in an alley behind a restaurant once because a huge drunk guy was pushing his girlfriend around. After we got him controlled and turned over to the police, the girlfriend took off. The officer said he was really hoping she’d come around and press charges this time now that she had a third party witness (me), and he’d been to calls about him several times. Well, lo and behold, she refused to press charges and stayed with him.

 

[MSTP18]

So here’s why I believe her side and feel that Gu is lying:

So here’s my synthesis of the story: her story is completely true and he is a master manipulator who somehow was able to keep her on the hook despite his assault. The texts he shares are either completely fabricated or, if genuine, a classic example of how many victims of sexual assault and gaslighting respond to their abusers. He even continues to abuse her in his megathread with taunts about her weight! Given his history he’s probably taken things way out of context in an attempt to save his own Arse. His admission about the fake account (plus overwhelming evidence of other sock puppets that led to at least one suspension) again shows how easily he lies and casts doubt on everything he says. If you read his tweets from these accounts they read of someone who’s unhinged and will say anything to get his way.

Given that Twitter encourages you to be as concise as possible, the comments about her weight stood out to me too. This was clearly a very deliberate decision to include it. Personally didn’t think of it as continuing to abuse her (although it makes sense), but more thought it was a clear attempt to appeal to the misconception that assault is really about sexual attraction and therefore on what planet would a guy choose to assault a fat, ugly girl. This girl traveled multiple hours to come visit him and I bet she did really want to have sex with him while she was on her way there and he knew it. He then completely turned her off and he was pissed off that this girl, especially one that it sounds like most people might not find attractive, was turning him down. Talk about an ego blow to a guy who is clearly very into what people think of him and who already has the baggage of having been divorced at a young age and who was abusive in the past. He says the fake twitter account was an attempt to turn her off to him but he used the account to sexualize himself which is an obvious attempt to do the exact opposite with her. It's the crowded restaurant concept: which restaurant do you think is better/want to experience: the one that's empty because no one wants to eat there or the one that's full of people and everyone is trying to get a table at?

 

[MSTP18]

Somehow everything gu says is a lie and everything the other person says is true is also convenient.

When one of them has a well documented history of lying and the other doesn't, it doesn't seem like it's that hard to believe.

 

[Kgizzle]

Private messages going public to the world. It's embarrassing for them and for us as a society.

I'm loving every minute of it though

I didn't understand what was going on until this thread... This is what SDN was made for, the saucy med gossip

 

[Vain Brother]

Gu is an abuser, **** him, end of story.

while as a lefty dude I was previously broadly sympathetic to his various causes it was also pretty clear that he was going overboard and that his social media missteps could be prevented by simple common sense, rather than avoiding social media at all. #medtwitter is great

 

[Crayola227]

I have a hard time believing that if I was sexually assaulted and felt unsafe and disgusted around a person I would continue to communicate with that person especially if that person lived 2 +hours away.

Just. stop. While I don't doubt that this may be true for you, what we *know* about sexual assault has proven this is not the rule. It is much more complicated than that. Believe me.

Your point is well taken that comparing Gu to Hitler or Polpot is just the height of ridiculous.

 

[Crayola227]

I don't doubt that some in healthcare are able to use social media in a responsible manner that changes lives and helps their reputation, it does seem that things can go sideways, fast.

I second what someone said about reputation. It can take just one incident. Same with the microscope and scrutiny.

I think on the balance of things, the cost/benefit analysis of using social media for most folks, seems to be that they just shouldn't take the risk.

Everyone that seems to frak it up, seemed to think they'd be OK to do it going in (or why would they?) and then it goes terribly wrong. How does one know which camp they'll be in? Benefit vs one misplaced tweet totally frakking them?

 

[Crayola227]

Here's the thing:

Problems to be solved in the hospital are basically unending and infinite. Programs hire residents in an attempt to solve as many problems as possible as fast as possible.

Given what's on the plate for programs, their tolerance for even the idea of adding a resident that might bring any sort of baggage or be a source of any problems going in, is extremely low.

That goes for disability. Yes, it does. I've been told that to my face by the Dean of a respected med school among others. I was asked with trepidation, after mentioning my fiancee was planning on work in the area, during my residency interview, if I planned on getting pregnant during residency. Yes, I was (asked).

So get over the idea that the rules, laws, and common decency will protect your residency chances from what is wrong and unfair.

I also personally know a resident that faced negative career consequences and push back from their program in the wake of sexual assault. No, it wasn't me. So this is not my tale or spin. I don't think it was this resident's, either.

I know other residents at this program who had similar issues. An admission of depression for more than one resident, put them under that dreaded microscope, and they spent the rest of their time there struggling to get out from under it. I truly believe this program was not unusual or even malignant. I truly believe the admin meant well. I think it's just another example of the sorry state of how medicine is practiced under the gun of the industrial medical complex, and how resident training is done.

Don't listen to anyone that tries to tell you these horror stories are untrue and extremely unlikely. Just tread carefully around the obstacles.

This is the long story that Dr. Meow could very well experience career consequences related to all this. My saying that is not my saying any sort of support for this sort of thinking in the field. By neither can I deny this reality. In fact, I think that might be the only hope of ever changing it.

 

[WingedOx]

Here is the ZdoggMD video on it all.

That video is a perfect encapsulation of why I prefer text over video when dealing with nearly any subject.

 

[WingedOx]

Just as an aside, I see SouthernSurgeon liked your post! It's nice to know we haven't scared him completely away!

I've always figured he's had better second hand information about this case than the rest of us.

 

[watermelon master]

Here's the thing:

Problems to be solved in the hospital are basically unending and infinite. Programs hire residents in an attempt to solve as many problems as possible as fast as possible.

Given what's on the plate for programs, their tolerance for even the idea of adding a resident that might bring any sort of baggage or be a source of any problems going in, is extremely low.

That goes for disability. Yes, it does. I've been told that to my face by the Dean of a respected med school among others. I was asked with trepidation, after mentioning my fiancee was planning on work in the area, during my residency interview, if I planned on getting pregnant during residency. Yes, I was (asked).

So get over the idea that the rules, laws, and common decency will protect your residency chances from what is wrong and unfair.

I also personally know a resident that faced negative career consequences and push back from their program in the wake of sexual assault. No, it wasn't me. So this is not my tale or spin. I don't think it was this resident's, either.

I know other residents at this program who had similar issues. An admission of depression for more than one resident, put them under that dreaded microscope, and they spent the rest of their time there struggling to get out from under it. I truly believe this program was not unusual or even malignant. I truly believe the admin meant well. I think it's just another example of the sorry state of how medicine is practiced under the gun of the industrial medical complex, and how resident training is done.

Don't listen to anyone that tries to tell you these horror stories are untrue and extremely unlikely. Just tread carefully around the obstacles.

This is the long story that Dr. Meow could very well experience career consequences related to all this. My saying that is not my saying any sort of support for this sort of thinking in the field. By neither can I deny this reality. In fact, I think that might be the only hope of ever changing it.

Just so you know fiancée is a woman and fiancé is a man

 

[Goro]

I've always figured he's had better second hand information about this case than the rest of us.

I sure hope he'll come back.

 

[Black Coffee 24/7]

DGAF about either of these clowns nor have time to analyze their personalities

But, I thought it was common knowledge to keep a low profile and put a zipper on all social media accounts as a physician

This info was pounded to my brain over a 1 hr session during medical school orientation

I guess that not every school does this thing

 

[sunshinefl]

That video is a perfect encapsulation of why I prefer text over video when dealing with nearly any subject.

Same!

 

[nlax30]

DGAF about either of these clowns nor have time to analyze their personalities

But, I thought it was common knowledge to keep a low profile and put a zipper on all social media accounts as a physician

This info was pounded to my brain over a 1 hr session during medical school orientation

I guess that not every school does this thing

As just a tool social media can be helpful. At least in Cardiology there is a very active and healthy “social media” presence on twitter with a lot of discussion and learning occurring amongst those ranging from fellows to leaders in the field.

If you can follow a few key principles.... no PHI, don’t disparage your institution, don’t say/post anything you mind making public, then you should be fine.

In this case add in some likely personality disorders and you get this.

 

[Vain Brother]

^bingo

 

[Gurby]

Just so you know fiancée is a woman and fiancé is a man

 

[911 Turbo]

Wtf can someone summarize the drama?

 

[MediCane2006]

So here’s why I believe her side and feel that Gu is lying:

1) Gu has a documented history of domestic violence allegations made against him. There’s a Duke Chronicle article where they finally did some investigation and found four distinct episodes alleged by his ex wife that also contain some similar themes to meowskis account of things. There are other allegations of assault against him brewing among less followed accounts.

2) I have a personal friend who dated Gu very briefly and while she doesn’t allege any sexual misconduct against her, she does note that the things meowskis alleges he said in and around the time of the alleged assault are in line with things he said to her.

3) Meowksi tweets nearly every minute of her dating life. For some reason there’s not a word about the trip where he allegedly assaulted her. Now, if his version were true, she drove 4 hours to see a guy who spent the whole time avoiding her. Seems like that would have gotten some tweets at the time looking for sympathy, but there wasn’t a single one. If her story is true, then she suffered an assault and would understandably want to stay quiet about it initially, especially with all his manipulation.

4) Gu has lied constantly about his multiple fake accounts, two of which are now deleted or suspended. He lied to my friend when she confronted him in real life about the DV allegations, saying (I kid you not) that the Republican Party hacked the Alameda courthouse and planted the domestic violence charges. He apparently told other Twitter folks that Jack Posobiec made up the Mary Laury accusations in now public DMs. He’s lied so much about this stuff that it’s hard to remember all of them. Note in their alleged text thread he refers to himself as Frank Underwood.

5) Gu has a long history of lying and distorting truth to serve his own ends regarding the Vanderbilt firing. He would post carefully selected parts of letter to make it look like he was being targeted for social media use or the take a knee photo or whatever, rather than clear performance issues that he knew vandy couldn’t disclose. Their final statement (a work of art imo) very eloquently said that he knows why he was really fired and that they aren’t happy to share it all if he wants to give them permission. Don’t hold your breath!

6) Gu has posted here personally attacking posters and mods threatening to doxx people and destroy our careers. He tried to intimidate us by claiming the national media was working to out us and threatened sdn with some twitter shaming if the original thread about him wasn’t shut down.

7) multiple public figures have spoken to meowskis in real life about her story and come away from those discussions believing her.

So here’s my synthesis of the story: her story is completely true and he is a master manipulator who somehow was able to keep her on the hook despite his assault. The texts he shares are either completely fabricated or, if genuine, a classic example of how many victims of sexual assault and gaslighting respond to their abusers. He even continues to abuse her in his megathread with taunts about her weight! Given his history he’s probably taken things way out of context in an attempt to save his own Arse. His admission about the fake account (plus overwhelming evidence of other sock puppets that led to at least one suspension) again shows how easily he lies and casts doubt on everything he says. If you read his tweets from these accounts they read of someone who’s unhinged and will say anything to get his way.

I believe her.

This guy sounds like an absolute nutjob. That said, I do hope he’s serious about taking a break from social media and getting some professional help. I imagine it’s hard for someone who has their identity so tied to social media that they are compulsively obsessing over twitter followers, when the crowd turns against you.