Bad research experience...need help!

[QuiteAConundrum]

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Hey everyone,

I've been working in a lab for my first research experience this summer, and it was all decent until a few weeks ago. I work with two other people who are new to research as well.

A close family member died and I couldn't keep the tears back during work. My supervisor told me to take the rest of the day off so I did, but didn't ask what was wrong.

After I returned to work the next day, my supervisor started ignoring me. No answering of emails, avoiding me (like legit going the opposite direction when I walked their way) while still talking to the other two students.

Since then, the supervisor hasn't given me any assignments, and thought I botched a western (that another student did and got the same results as I did).

Before the indecent, this supervisor gave me a great deal of praise on the work that I did.

I wanted to try and make things better, and was able to corner this person yesterday and told them why I was so upset that day, and they said that "people in medicine and science need to be able to detach and get over things more quickly than you were able to".

Needless to say, I think this person is a world class prick and that you don't have to be a robot to be a doctor. Things rarely get to me but a close family member dying is a big deal. Due to the circumstances, I don't think this person will give me a LOR and I don't know what to do or whether I should even ask. They also promised authorship on a paper and a first authorship on a project of my own during the school year...but given the circumstances...

Insight greatly appreciated...

 

[deleted393595]

Hey everyone,

I've been working in a lab for my first research experience this summer, and it was all decent until a few weeks ago. I work with two other people who are new to research as well.

A close family member died and I couldn't keep the tears back during work. My supervisor told me to take the rest of the day off so I did, but didn't ask what was wrong.

After I returned to work the next day, my supervisor started ignoring me. No answering of emails, avoiding me (like legit going the opposite direction when I walked their way) while still talking to the other two students.

Since then, the supervisor hasn't given me any assignments, and thought I botched a western (that another student did and got the same results as I did).

Before the indecent, this supervisor gave me a great deal of praise on the work that I did.

I wanted to try and make things better, and was able to corner this person yesterday and told them why I was so upset that day, and they said that "people in medicine and science need to be able to detach and get over things more quickly than you were able to".

Needless to say, I think this person is a world class prick and that you don't have to be a robot to be a doctor. Things rarely get to me but a close family member dying is a big deal. Due to the circumstances, I don't think this person will give me a LOR and I don't know what to do or whether I should even ask. They also promised authorship on a paper and a first authorship on a project of my own during the school year...but given the circumstances...

Insight greatly appreciated...

One must be strong like Daenerys Targaryen. When Khal Drogo died and she lost her khalisa, did she give up? Nooooooo

(Or that's who I thought your avatar was)

 

[QuiteAConundrum]

One must be strong like Daenerys Targaryen. When Khal Drogo died and she lost her khalisa, did she give up? Nooooooo

(Or that's who I thought your avatar was)

Haha yepp, you're dead on! Guess I've gotta be strong and regroup so I can reclaim the Iron throne...

 

[carnelian]

Wow, sounds like a prick indeed. Considering that you just started this summer, leave the lab asap and find another one w/ a more understanding superviser! What year are you in? I'm guessing you're not applying this cycle, which means you'll have at least 1 year of experience at the new lab. The current one does not sound like it'll benefit you much.

 

[Mark Twain]

Sounds like an extremely bizzare, irrational way of handling things on your supervisors end.

Maybe if you stick it out, and prove to your supervisor that you can still provide top quality work, he/she will come around. I fully understand that it is impossible to completely shut out hardship such as close family members dying, and your supervisor seems to be very closed minded. If things don't change within a month or two, I would advise finding a lab where you would be more welcome, as it seems you can't change your supervisors attitude.

 

[JustMeditate]

Your supervisor's response wasn't just unusual, it was extremely unprofessional. Rational human beings realize that life happens, and that unfortunate circumstances sometimes get in the way of everyday life, and can even impact professional life. I don't know what kind of environment your PI works in, but people take time off constantly for the birth of a child, family deaths, illness, etc. And yes, people have breakdowns at work, snap at people, cry, and make mistakes at work ALL THE TIME. As long as you can get yourself back on track within a reasonable time frame, that should be all that matters. You took a day off and came back the next day, ready to work. It shouldn't even be a tiny, itty bitty issue. I can't emphasize how unusual this kind of response is, given the 4 PI's I've worked with in my undergrad. I've been given leeway for far worse.

If you are a freshmen, leave. Run like the wind. There is absolutely nothing worse than being stuck in an environment, long term, that is antagonistic, especially when your boss is unprofessional and out of touch with reality. You cannot trust someone like this, who thinks a family member's death doesn't warrant a few tears, to give you a good LOR, to credit you in publications, or to provide the mentorship you need. And don't you want a mentor you can establish a connection with and learn from? This won't be the only issue you have with someone of this personality type.

Get out while you can. If you can't work with this person, find a legitimate excuse to stop working there (I have too many credits next semester to take on research, I need time after this family death, etc.). Then, find someone else. If you are a freshmen or sophomore, and this is your first research experience, you have PLENTY of time to find a reasonable PI and gain GOOD research experience for your application. No one will even know about this guy if you don't list him on your AMCAS.

 

[pasiley]

Scientists are people too and they have their personality faults just like normal people. They have a lot of pressure and stress to deal with and some people like to take their frustrations out on people they supervise. It is just like any other job, sometimes you get a crappy boss.

It is a terrible personality trait and I would get out now while you can. However, these types of people are fairly common in the research world and if you plan on continuing in research they are people that you have to learn to handle.

From my experience, these things usally blow over once things get back to normal as long as you are are consistently producing good quality work. This makes them look good and they come around because in the end they need you. However, I once had someone who took 7 months to get over something and those 7 months were hell. There was lots of childish behavior that you mentioned above and this person was openly hostile to me. Even that blew over because I just ignored their behavior and did my job.

You're an undergrad. Research should be fun. Mine was. Go find another lab.

 

[paramour]

With the caveat that I'm not in medicine, we had a guy in our doctoral program who was severely reprimanded because he had the audacity to take off a day for his grandmother's funeral. He was informed that he should not leave and would be expected to remain on-campus for all scheduled activities. He left... His grandmother lived with his family & helped raise him since he was a baby; he had been extremely close to her throughout his life. He refused to miss her services. Things sort of went downhill from there with the dept, and he eventually withdrew from the program.

If your PI/supervisor is responding in this manner this early in the game, I'd find another lab. This one certainly doesn't sound supportive.

 

[QuiteAConundrum]

Wow, sounds like a prick indeed. Considering that you just started this summer, leave the lab asap and find another one w/ a more understanding superviser! What year are you in? I'm guessing you're not applying this cycle, which means you'll have at least 1 year of experience at the new lab. The current one does not sound like it'll benefit you much.

I'm entering my junior year, so yeah I have a year before I apply. I'm just hoping someone will take me on this close to the school year.

Sounds like an extremely bizzare, irrational way of handling things on your supervisors end.

Maybe if you stick it out, and prove to your supervisor that you can still provide top quality work, he/she will come around. I fully understand that it is impossible to completely shut out hardship such as close family members dying, and your supervisor seems to be very closed minded. If things don't change within a month or two, I would advise finding a lab where you would be more welcome, as it seems you can't change your supervisors attitude.

I'd love to stick it out but they aren't assigning me anything to work on, so I can't prove anything 🙁 I do want to be resilient but I feel like sitting here on SDN all day isn't very constructive and it's all I can do since my supervisor won't give me the time of day, let alone an assignment

Your supervisor's response wasn't just unusual, it was extremely unprofessional. Rational human beings realize that life happens, and that unfortunate circumstances sometimes get in the way of everyday life, and can even impact professional life. I don't know what kind of environment your PI works in, but people take time off constantly for the birth of a child, family deaths, illness, etc. And yes, people have breakdowns at work, snap at people, cry, and make mistakes at work ALL THE TIME. As long as you can get yourself back on track within a reasonable time frame, that should be all that matters. You took a day off and came back the next day, ready to work. It shouldn't even be a tiny, itty bitty issue. I can't emphasize how unusual this kind of response is, given the 4 PI's I've worked with in my undergrad. I've been given leeway for far worse.

If you are a freshmen, leave. Run like the wind. There is absolutely nothing worse than being stuck in an environment, long term, that is antagonistic, especially when your boss is unprofessional and out of touch with reality. You cannot trust someone like this, who thinks a family member's death doesn't warrant a few tears, to give you a good LOR, to credit you in publications, or to provide the mentorship you need. And don't you want a mentor you can establish a connection with and learn from? This won't be the only issue you have with someone of this personality type.

Get out while you can. If you can't work with this person, find a legitimate excuse to stop working there (I have too many credits next semester to take on research, I need time after this family death, etc.). Then, find someone else. If you are a freshmen or sophomore, and this is your first research experience, you have PLENTY of time to find a reasonable PI and gain GOOD research experience for your application. No one will even know about this guy if you don't list him on your AMCAS.

Very good points. I was worried that all labs were like this. Unfortunately I'm a junior, so it's a little late in the game, but I do want a quality mentor who I can form a bond with. At this point, it's turned me off a bit to research, and I want to salvage my desire before it's too late. Would I still list the research experience and just not him?

Scientists are people too and they have their personality faults just like normal people. They have a lot of pressure and stress to deal with and some people like to take their frustrations out on people they supervise. It is just like any other job, sometimes you get a crappy boss.

It is a terrible personality trait and I would get out now while you can. However, these types of people are fairly common in the research world and if you plan on continuing in research they are people that you have to learn to handle.

From my experience, these things usally blow over once things get back to normal as long as you are are consistently producing good quality work. This makes them look good and they come around because in the end they need you. However, I once had someone who took 7 months to get over something and those 7 months were hell. There was lots of childish behavior that you mentioned above and this person was openly hostile to me. Even that blew over because I just ignored their behavior and did my job.

You're an undergrad. Research should be fun. Mine was. Go find another lab.

Thanks for the advice. As I mentioned earlier in this post, he won't even give me anything to work on so I can't produce anything right now. I think I should find another lab, then.

 

[QuiteAConundrum]

With the caveat that I'm not in medicine, we had a guy in our doctoral program who was severely reprimanded because he had the audacity to take off a day for his grandmother's funeral. He was informed that he should not leave and would be expected to remain on-campus for all scheduled activities. He left... His grandmother lived with his family & helped raise him since he was a baby; he had been extremely close to her throughout his life. He refused to miss her services. Things sort of went downhill from there with the dept, and he eventually withdrew from the program.

If your PI/supervisor is responding in this manner this early in the game, I'd find another lab. This one certainly doesn't sound supportive.

Wow, I can't believe that outcome was the result of attending a funeral...😡

Thanks for sharing, it definitely puts things in perspective

 

[JustMeditate]

Very good points. I was worried that all labs were like this. Unfortunately I'm a junior, so it's a little late in the game, but I do want a quality mentor who I can form a bond with. At this point, it's turned me off a bit to research, and I want to salvage my desire before it's too late. Would I still list the research experience and just not him?

Not all labs are like this. Not even close. I've worked in three different labs, all during the summer, and every PI I have ever worked with was supportive. I've taken time off for vacations, had sick days, and have had bad/unproductive days. It's never been an issue, because I work my *ss off the rest of the time. Hell, I've even had a major f*ck up or two. But most PI's understand that undergraduates are stupid and don't know the ropes yet, so all I received was a severe reprimand. Then, the PI offered me a letter of rec and some more opportunities in the lab, because I manned up and fixed the problem that had warranted the reprimand.

There are much better places to work. Trust me.

If you can get another position in another lab, do so. Wait until the end of the summer, so that this individual isn't any more offended by you than he already is, and create a legitimate excuse as to why you can't continue there, other than, "We'll, because you are an *sshole." Try to leave on reasonable terms, because you never know who this guy has connections with.

To get a position on campus, find a PI whose work you are interested in, read his/her most recent publications, and randomly show up to office hours with your resume and unofficial transcript. I've done this multiple times and have never been turned down because it shows initiative, gives a face to a name, and demonstrates your commitment to their brand of research (i.e. talk to them about why their most recent paper sparked your interest).

You can't list your research experience on your AMCAS App. without including a contact, your supervisor, to confirm that the activity is not "made-up." So, only include him and this summer research if you are confident he will either (a) give you a good reference or (b) will give you a neutral reference. Don't include him if he is likely to give you a poor reference. It's unlikely that a medical school will call him though, so maybe it's worth the risk of listing the activity.

 

[tn4596]

Juniors still have time to do at least 2 full semester of research which is significant. Find another PI asap. I think if you find another project, you can list 2 seperate activities on your app so indicate that you start looking at research early. I wouldn't be afraid of listing your current PI as a reference in the app since amcas rarely call references anyway and if they do I think it is just to confirm your listed activity. I don't think medical schools call references.

 

[Xenops]

Even if you leave his lab (which I recommend), the lab experience you DO have will prove useful when you work under a different PI.