Being a mom in med school, non-traditional

[kungpow.kiska]

Hello,

Im 33yo and a mom of a 2.5 yo and 10 month old. I graduated with my M.S. in 2020 and have been working in the biomedical industry and now as a medical lab tech. I applied to medschool in 2017 but was waitlisted and ended up doing my masters to improve my gpa. I'm a first generation college student so it has taken me sooooooooo long and so much effort to get to where I am today. My dream has always been medical school but after my masters I was 29yo. My husband and I were both older and knew we didn't have much time to have kids. We both thought we couldn't get pregnant but that was not the case and we got pregnant super fast. Fast forward we now have 2 children and may want one or two more.
Ive finally came out of my pregnancy/postpartum haze and I have my strong desire to try for medical school again. Now as a mom, Im realizing what a sacrifice it will be for my kids and husband if I choose this path for myself. I look at their little faces and I struggle to imagine not seeing and spending time with them. So my questions are to moms out there:
1. How much time do you actually get with your kids in med school? Residency?
2. How do you balance your school/work and family life to ensure you get time with your husband/partner and children.
3. Would you recommend waiting until after the kids are older (6-8ish) before applying?

Thank you for your time if you read this far. I'm really struggling between selfish desires and the need to be present with my kids. Right now im working part time evenings so we don't have to put the kids in daycare. Daycare is outrageously priced lol

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[Crayola227]

Personally I would wait until they are a little older.

 

[tr]

So my questions are to moms out there:
1. How much time do you actually get with your kids in med school? Residency?
2. How do you balance your school/work and family life to ensure you get time with your husband/partner and children.
3. Would you recommend waiting until after the kids are older (6-8ish) before applying?

Thank you for your time if you read this far. I'm really struggling between selfish desires and the need to be present with my kids. Right now im working part time evenings so we don't have to put the kids in daycare. Daycare is outrageously priced lol

1. Med school: First two years (1.5 years at some schools) are mostly studying and are relatively flexible. Third year is extremely inflexible and demanding. Fourth year is usually calmer but still not as controllable as preclinical years. Residency: Depends on the field you choose but in general at least the first two years will be extremely demanding and inflexible. Later years may be calmer in some residencies but those fields also tend to be more competitive.

2. Doesn't lend itself to a short answer, but the bottom line is if you want to go this route you should be aware that there will be many times when there is an absolute conflict. I.e. you cannot be there to pick up a sick kid from school, can't be there for dinner, can't be there for bedtime, because you have to be in the hospital. You need a strong backup network, whether that is local family or paid help, in addition to a completely supportive spouse - meaning not like verbal or emotional support, but someone who can be there to pick up the slack when you can't.

3. No because it takes 1-2 years to apply, some people don't get in on the first cycle, and then the first two years of med school are pretty flexible anyway. So if you start applying with a 1 year old, you might not hit your third year of med school until the child is 4-6 years old, which is a better age for other adults to be able to step in and help. But if you want to have more children, then this timeline shifts. I would absolutely avoid having a young infant in either third year of medical school or first year of residency. I wouldn't even want to be pregnant during third year because the general discomfort, reduced stamina, and impaired physical functioning are going to mess up your clinical grades, which may depend significantly on your ability to, for example, stand in the same position holding a retractor for four hours starting at 4:30 am.