Being bitter

[Megalofyia]

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For those of you who have applied multiple times... what do you do to keep from going bitter about the whole application process?

 

[njbmd]

For those of you who have applied multiple times... what do you do to keep from going bitter about the whole application process?

Hi there,
I moved this thread to Re-applicants so that you might get better answers to your question. Whether you are non-traditional or traditional, this question is valid therefore the move.

njbmd 🙂

 

[Ypo.]

Wow, what do I do...well, I went through the whole range of emotions, but I didn't let that stop me from taking steps toward improving my app.

I just can't let myself get bitter for several good reasons. First of all, I don't want to let any one experience let me get so jaded that I become a "bitter" person. Secondly, I think bitterness is kind of a counterproductive cop-out, or excuse. Its a pointless waste of energy, but an easy trap to fall into.

Being bitter isn't going to work for me. I won't let this crazy process convince me that I don't have what it takes to be a good doctor-and if I become too bitter, that may affect my ability to be a good doctor, right?

Indignance is how I usually deal with rejections. "They rejected ME, those %$@^#&%! Little did they know that behind my not outstanding (but acceptable) GPA and MCAT scores lies grade A doctor material!!!!" Then I try and laugh it off, no matter how painful, if you can laugh, you are doing good.

It helps to think that this process is more than a test of whether you get in or not, its a test of many characteristics, patience, perserverance, compassion and altruism (for others in the same boat),being positive, dealing with rejection (everyone-even the geniuses have to deal with rejection-and they all get at least a little bothered by it). Then you can feel good that you succeed in these levels.

I try and think about my "score" in each of these aspects of the process. For example, I'm giving my self an A for effort and perserverance for not giving up when I didn't get accepted the first try. Also, I know it wasn't able to break me or turn me into a bitter person. A+ for that one. Also A+ that I'm not so competetive that I forget to help my fellow applicants with questions they have.

Listen, it also really helps to have a back up plan that you would feel good about doing. I'm applying to a masters porgram that doesn't require me to take the GRE, I can just submit my MCAT scores.

Hope that helps. 😀

 

[Megalofyia]

I understand what your saying.. although it doesn't actually help me.
This is part of why I had originally posted this in the older people forum. I already have done my back up plan. It blew up in my face...
OH well I guess if nothing else at the end of this year I still have options...

 

[DrB]

"The key to true happiness is first accepting where you are..."

You have to be happy with the path you have taken and the journey that led you to where you are today. Be happy with the fact that you have already overcome many obstacles and that you face future ones with experience.

I am not sure if I will reapply next year; however I will continue my journey towards a career in medicine. I have already decided to be happy with the outcome of this years applications. It is left up to fate... I have tried very hard to get to where I am today...

I already know that the future is there fore you Megalofyia. You only need to realize it and be happy with yourself.

Good luck to us all
-Ben

 

[qwerty one]

I'm the kind of person that believes things happen for a reason. Maybe that's some rhetorical BS that losers tell themselves to keep from going insane, who knows?

Last year just wasn't my time. This year WILL be different. You just have to trust your instincts. And if you think about it, another extra year of waiting really means nothing in the grand scheme of things. There will be plenty of time to hit the books, work long hours, etc.

 

[Ypo.]

I understand what your saying.. although it doesn't actually help me.
This is part of why I had originally posted this in the older people forum. I already have done my back up plan. It blew up in my face...
OH well I guess if nothing else at the end of this year I still have options...

Why doesn't this work for you? What was your backup plan, if you don't mind me asking? I personally know I can't keep trying to get in if I don't get in in the next several years. I think maybe I would try again later on in life, depending on the circumstances. Its not that I don't believe in myself, its just that I don't have the energy, or the resources.

Hey qwerty one-the one I kept hearing over and over again was "when a door closes, god opens a window" it made me want to scream. I also think things always happen for a reason (logically)-like I didn't get accepted for a reason, but I'll probably never know that reason (bad interview?).

 

[lynx]

I'm the kind of person that believes things happen for a reason. Maybe that's some rhetorical BS that losers tell themselves to keep from going insane, who knows?

Last year just wasn't my time. This year WILL be different. You just have to trust your instincts. And if you think about it, another extra year of waiting really means nothing in the grand scheme of things. There will be plenty of time to hit the books, work long hours, etc.

I tend to agree about "to be in the right place at the right moment" so to speak...Firts couple of rounds I didn't truly believe in myself and that I CAN do it. And, yes, I was very sad and bitter about the whole application/reapplication process. BUT this year I felt extremely confident and I got in. And whatever I did during the years I didn't get in - first backup plan or second - I only benefited from it even though in the beginning it didn't seem so. Any experience - good, bad, unplanned - is still an experience, and you always benefit and learn from any experience. It makes you stronger as well. And smarter. And closer to getting in. 👍
I always allowed myself to pity myself and be bitter for a week. That's it. I had to move on with my life after that. Always allow yourself some time to dwell over, but limit yourself, otherwise it's extremely destructive. Then, LET IT GO and LEARN from it. And always enjoy your life! 🙂

 

[docX]

First things first, believe in yourself 👍 , and commit in what you're doing. The trouble with many re-applicants is thinking they're chances of getting in increase by showing passion with reapplying w/o really having made their application stronger. Look at yourself on paper, make the right changes, and only when you are ready, reapply.

 

[Ypo.]

First things first, believe in yourself 👍 , and commit in what you're doing. The trouble with many re-applicants is thinking they're chances of getting in increase by showing passion with reapplying w/o really having made their application stronger. Look at yourself on paper, make the right changes, and only when you are ready, reapply.

Hey, thats good advice.

 

[RayhanS1282]

I applied in 2003 with my August 2003 score (27; 10P,10B,7V), all I lost was a couple hundred dollars, some hair and was left with a massively bruised ego. All I heard was that I had applied too late. Fast forward to 2004, got my AMCAS completed by the first week of June, secondaries were completed by July and August...I even called up certain schools and asked whether they will review my application based on my 2003 score as opposed to my 2004 score (which I had indicated that I was not sure whether I will take or not). They said they needed that in writing...complied with that. Now to date, I have not heard a peep from anyone...I called up Buffalo...my application has been completed 3 months ago...but is collecting dust waiting to be reviewed. I called up Albany...your application is complete but we don't review 'till November/Dcember. Called up Creighton...your application is complete but we can't tell you when it will be reviewed. So, I am pretty sure that "get everything as early as you can" is a buncha bull. I completed in July, another guy completes in October...files are reviewed in November...advantage none.

And if all that wasn't bad enough...I got my August MCAT back...and after 3R-7R, 101 EK verbal, I get a 6V, 10B, 9P...yay...I'm down 2 points. I am trying hard not to be bitter and am gonna go for it a 3rd time just because I want to be a doctor that bad.

And as for your question as to how no to be bitter...you just read it...unusually lengthy posts are my prescription for bitterness.

 

[Fusion]

I applied in 2003 with my August 2003 score (27; 10P,10B,7V), all I lost was a couple hundred dollars, some hair and was left with a massively bruised ego. All I heard was that I had applied too late. Fast forward to 2004, got my AMCAS completed by the first week of June, secondaries were completed by July and August...I even called up certain schools and asked whether they will review my application based on my 2003 score as opposed to my 2004 score (which I had indicated that I was not sure whether I will take or not). They said they needed that in writing...complied with that. Now to date, I have not heard a peep from anyone...I called up Buffalo...my application has been completed 3 months ago...but is collecting dust waiting to be reviewed. I called up Albany...your application is complete but we don't review 'till November/Dcember. Called up Creighton...your application is complete but we can't tell you when it will be reviewed. So, I am pretty sure that "get everything as early as you can" is a buncha bull. I completed in July, another guy completes in October...files are reviewed in November...advantage none.

And if all that wasn't bad enough...I got my August MCAT back...and after 3R-7R, 101 EK verbal, I get a 6V, 10B, 9P...yay...I'm down 2 points. I am trying hard not to be bitter and am gonna go for it a 3rd time just because I want to be a doctor that bad.

And as for your question as to how no to be bitter...you just read it...unusually lengthy posts are my prescription for bitterness.

Rayshawn, did Albany tell you why exactly they don't start reviewing apps until November? That's a pretty weird practice, especially considering all the applications they get every year. Sorry to hear about the MCAT score, but keep the faith 👍

 

[dwightbean]

i'm kinda writing this for my own good really.. but i'm probably going to be two years out of college before i apply to med school.. and if i don't get in.. i'm going to see what i can fix and apply again. and i can imagine doing this up to 4 times before i start wondering if i'm getting a bit too old to not be moving on w/ my life. it helps if you have a stable support system too.. which i'm sure i'll have during this time.

in any case.. i think a big part of this is perseverance, hardwork, and faith. or something.

 

[GATORade]

Rayshawn, did Albany tell you why exactly they don't start reviewing apps until November? That's a pretty weird practice, especially considering all the applications they get every year. Sorry to hear about the MCAT score, but keep the faith 👍

I'm not quite sure about this one. I interviewed at albany last week so they obviously review applications prior to November. However, they did indicate that we will probably have to wait until November for a final decision on our file. 👍

 

[Doc 2b]

To the OP, I think you just have to welcome the humility. It made me a realist as well. It makes you see the real process, see the politics, the quotas, and how non academic factors come into play. Once you fully understand, it makes you a better player, because it is all a game.

 

[klp14]

I went into the first cycle thinking "I've seen all those nepotistic ways people get into med school and I'm above that." Yeah, right! A bombed PS (6) on the Aug MCAT and a year of agonizing anticipation made me realize that it's not about how you get in, it's the fact that you got there. And I also realized that the humiliation of having to tell everyone I know that I didn't get accepted (the part I was most afraid of) really didn't kill me.

This time around, I'm working every possible connection, trying not to take SDN as seriously, getting my frustrations out at the gym more, and stressing about it a little bit less. At least it's not consuming my entire life (just most of it🙂.

 

[nina512]

To the OP,

This is the second time I'm applying, and despite all I've done to improve my application since 2002, I still have doubts that I'll get in this year. Yes, I'll be bummed if I'm not accepted. I'll probably contemplate the possibility that medicine is not for me. And as another poster mentioned, I'll try my best to see the meaning behind the events in my life and search for the reasons why medical school was not in the cards for me in 2005.

I try not to get bitter. I've been there and it's the most conterproductive and emotionally draining emotion to experience. To avoid getting bitter, I usually throw myself into a new project full throttle. Some might interpret that as avoiding and escaping reality, but it sure beats depression and apathy.

Nina

 

[Megalofyia]

Just so it's clear.. i'm still bitter.. yes I improved my MCAT.. yes I improved my GPA.. I did more volunteer work.. but really the amount I had done before really was maxiumum...I don't think any of this has made me a better person.. if anything I'm a meaner person who's probably a lot less willing to share information now with random fellow classmates.. and I have pretty much lost my sympathy for people who only reapply once or not at all and are still traditional applicants.

I guess the moral of this is some are luckier than others...