Being super dramatic in personal statement?

[halmoni]

I recently received some feedback on my personal statement, and one of the comments I got was that I really had to make my reader "feel" like they were there and experiencing what I was going through.

One major experience I talk about is the time when I had to undergo surgery for an acute condition (nothing chronic), but my editor wanted me to write about it like I was literally dying/breathing my last breath. I couldn't help but roll my eyes when I read the example they gave. I honestly hate over-exaggerating, but this is a tip that I've received from 2 different editors who've been accepted to top med schools. Do adcoms seriously love stuff like this?

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[Catalystik]

I recently received some feedback on my personal statement, and one of the comments I got was that I really had to make my reader "feel" like they were there and experiencing what I was going through.

One major experience I talk about is the time when I had to undergo surgery for an acute condition (nothing chronic), but my editor wanted me to write about it like I was literally dying/breathing my last breath. I couldn't help but roll my eyes when I read the example they gave. I honestly hate over-exaggerating, but this is a tip that I've received from 2 different editors who've been accepted to top med schools. Do adcoms seriously love stuff like this?

No.

 

[fingerscrossed14]

I got this same advice often (“open it up in the middle of an action scene!”) and I think it’s because throughout high school/maybe college we are always taught to “show, not tell” when writing. However I think it can cross over into the obnoxious terriority very quickly depending on your writing skills. I personally find that excessive action/drama/verbs in a PS almost always feels annoying/juvenile from the ones that I have read and tried writing myself haha. I played it on the safe/“boring” side and have been fine this cycle

 

[Lucca]

I’m not an adcom but as far as the essays I’ve read have gone this approach doesn’t really seem to work. I think it’s fine to talk about anecdotes but keep things grounded and talk about WHY the experience matters more than every detail of the actual experience.

 

[LizzyM]

This has been so overdone that it was satarized years ago in a PS that gets bumped annually. Don't do it. We want to read an essay on the topic "why I want to attend medical school and how I've tested my interest in medicine". We don't want to read a screenplay showing us why you'll be the next Michael Crichton.

 

[SpoiledMilk]

I might add that if one can write like Michael Crichton, then perhaps medicine is not your true calling...

 

[curbsideconsult]

I might add that if one can write like Michael Crichton, then perhaps medicine is not your true calling...

I don't think that's necessarily true; one can have more than one calling. Isn't Michael Crichton a doctor?

Also: Lewis Thomas, William Osler, Atul Gawande, Siddhartha Mukherjee, Gabor Mate, Oliver Sacks, etc. etc.

 

[SpoiledMilk]

Crichton was (EDIT: NOT) an attorney and my response was tongue-in-cheek, which I know doesn't always come across on-line...

EDIT: I stand corrected. He was an M.D. I have no idea why I thought he was an attorney...
EDIT: Got him confused with John Grisham, d'oh...

 

[Kr#36]

To go that route you need to have a great story to tell and have the ability to tell it well. The fact that you started this thread likely means you don’t have both of those, neither did I. The best thing you can do is write an honest, concise essay about how your experiences have shaped your desire to enter medicine.

 

[Med Ed]

I recently received some feedback on my personal statement, and one of the comments I got was that I really had to make my reader "feel" like they were there and experiencing what I was going through.

One major experience I talk about is the time when I had to undergo surgery for an acute condition (nothing chronic), but my editor wanted me to write about it like I was literally dying/breathing my last breath. I couldn't help but roll my eyes when I read the example they gave. I honestly hate over-exaggerating, but this is a tip that I've received from 2 different editors who've been accepted to top med schools. Do adcoms seriously love stuff like this?

I love it. I love anything that helps me usher an application into the trash without pause or regret.

 

[gyngyn]

Do adcoms seriously love stuff like this?

I seriously detest stuff like this.

 

[Goro]

Crichton was an attorney and my response was tongue-in-cheek, which I know doesn't always come across on-line...

Actually he was a graduate of Harvard Medical School. He never practiced, though.

 

[raf1ki]

Without seeing your PS, it's possible that your reviewers found it a bit too dry. None of us commenting know what it looks like and you've only presented us with your perspective. Maybe you don't need to go crazy with a super dramatic version of events, but on the other hand, maybe your PS would benefit from a bit more excitement.

I think it’s fine to talk about anecdotes but keep things grounded and talk about WHY the experience matters more than every detail of the actual experience.

The best PS I've read have drawn readers in with a small amount of storytelling, and then used that as the vehicle to delve into self-reflection. I don't think anyone in this thread would disagree. Reading hundreds of "cover letters" or narratival CVs must bore adcoms to death. There's a balance in between.

On the other hand, not everyone knows what they're talking about when they give PS advice, so take it all with a grain of salt.

 

[SpoiledMilk]

Actually he was a graduate of Harvard Medical School. He never practiced, though.

Thanks! That's what happens when one types before their morning cup of joe...

 

[OrthoTraumaMD]

This has been so overdone that it was satarized years ago in a PS that gets bumped annually. Don't do it. We want to read an essay on the topic "why I want to attend medical school and how I've tested my interest in medicine". We don't want to read a screenplay showing us why you'll be the next Michael Crichton.

Can you share the satirical PS? Would love to see.


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[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Can you share the satirical PS? Would love to see.


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My Personal Statement...and I Got Accepted

 

[RNthenDoc]

My first paragraph was narrative form, and I stand firmly behind the decision. My overall app was lackluster, but my PS and essays were pretty darn good IMHO.

Don’t exagerrate or sound melodramatic. Life is usually stranger than fiction.

 

[Toutie]

My Personal Statement...and I Got Accepted

I miss Panda Bear. He was really funny...had a very creative sense of humor. Love when this amazing PS surfaces every year. Pretty sad that his home life pretty much imploded...not sure whatever became of his medical life.

 

[Med Ed]

I grew up in an active conflict zone. Should I not include it? I don't want people to think I am being dramatic with it because even then I thought it was all normal.

The question posed in this thread is more about style than content.

 

[Itsnotsobad]

The question posed in this thread is more about style than content.

thanks

 

[halmoni]

Without seeing your PS, it's possible that your reviewers found it a bit too dry. None of us commenting know what it looks like and you've only presented us with your perspective. Maybe you don't need to go crazy with a super dramatic version of events, but on the other hand, maybe your PS would benefit from a bit more excitement.

The best PS I've read have drawn readers in with a small amount of storytelling, and then used that as the vehicle to delve into self-reflection. I don't think anyone in this thread would disagree. Reading hundreds of "cover letters" or narratival CVs must bore adcoms to death. There's a balance in between.

On the other hand, not everyone knows what they're talking about when they give PS advice, so take it all with a grain of salt.

Yeah I think that was my main problem. My PS kinda sounded like I was a robot reciting a resume and I was having trouble being clear with “why medicine”. Adding some spice sounds like a good idea, but I don't think I could write something like "Clutching my chest, I ran down the stairs, calling for my mother/friend/etc. I sank to the floor and I could hear their screams as my vision faded to black" (exact example from one of my editors) w/o dying from embarrassment.

 

[Med Ed]

Yeah I think that was my main problem. My PS kinda sounded like I was a robot reciting a resume and I was having trouble being clear with “why medicine”. Adding some spice sounds like a good idea, but I don't think I could write something like "Clutching my chest, I ran down the stairs, calling for my mother/friend/etc. I sank to the floor and I could hear their screams as my vision faded to black" (exact example from one of my editors) w/o dying from embarrassment.

Don't rehash your CV, and don't attempt a creative writing endeavor. The example you shared is one of the worst sentences I have ever had the displeasure of reading.

Here's an exercise. Over the next couple of weeks identify a couple of acquaintances (people you can talk to but don't know much about) and ask them to tell you more about themselves. Better yet, strike up a conversation with a complete stranger at a bar and ask him/her the same question. See what they say, and what you can glean about them from their choice of words.

This is essentially the challenge of the personal statement. Tell someone you don't know who you are in a few paragraphs. It doesn't have to be unique or exciting, it just has to be the truth. Of the applications I review, 99% of them have largely interchangeable components. Undergrad, courses, GPA, MCAT, volunteer, shadowing, scribe, tutor, etc. The PS is the one spot where you have the opportunity to see who is really beneath the standard verbiage. Just don't bury it in trite prose.

 

[raf1ki]

Also, don't fall for the trap of trying to include every single reason why you're a good applicant - that's what the other sections are for. It's ok to leave 90% or even 100% of your application out of the PS.

 

[HomeSkool]

Do adcoms seriously love stuff like this?

Baaarf. Barf barf baaaaaaaaaaaarf.

 

[Medic741]

I recently received some feedback on my personal statement, and one of the comments I got was that I really had to make my reader "feel" like they were there and experiencing what I was going through.

One major experience I talk about is the time when I had to undergo surgery for an acute condition (nothing chronic), but my editor wanted me to write about it like I was literally dying/breathing my last breath. I couldn't help but roll my eyes when I read the example they gave. I honestly hate over-exaggerating, but this is a tip that I've received from 2 different editors who've been accepted to top med schools. Do adcoms seriously love stuff like this?

Hahahahahahaaha

no. Who would think this is a good idea

 

[Goro]

I recently received some feedback on my personal statement, and one of the comments I got was that I really had to make my reader "feel" like they were there and experiencing what I was going through.

One major experience I talk about is the time when I had to undergo surgery for an acute condition (nothing chronic), but my editor wanted me to write about it like I was literally dying/breathing my last breath. I couldn't help but roll my eyes when I read the example they gave. I honestly hate over-exaggerating, but this is a tip that I've received from 2 different editors who've been accepted to top med schools. Do adcoms seriously love stuff like this?

We'd prefer to dive into a bucket of our own vomit.

 

[freedoctor17]

I'm ashamed to say my first draft of my personal statement started with something like: "The sun shined down on my skin as beads of sweat trailed down my neck" or some hububub of that sort. I'm glad to say my current version that I'll most likely be using has nothing of the sort.

 

[deleted804295]

I miss Panda Bear. He was really funny...had a very creative sense of humor. Love when this amazing PS surfaces every year. Pretty sad that his home life pretty much imploded...not sure whatever became of his medical life.

His post history is depressing. So depressing that medicine seems bleak after reading it.

On the bright side, his writing skills are phenomenal though, we could probably compile all his posts into a book.

 

[Turkishking]

Yeah I think that was my main problem. My PS kinda sounded like I was a robot reciting a resume and I was having trouble being clear with “why medicine”. Adding some spice sounds like a good idea, but I don't think I could write something like "Clutching my chest, I ran down the stairs, calling for my mother/friend/etc. I sank to the floor and I could hear their screams as my vision faded to black" (exact example from one of my editors) w/o dying from embarrassment.

I used to use those phrases in 10th grade HS English Class lol.

 

[21Rush12]

We'd prefer to dive into a bucket of our own vomit.

This is how I feel when I discover the PS I am about to edit starts off with a hook. I never realized shadowing a PCP was so dramatic!

 

[MediCane2006]

I’m not an adcom but as far as the essays I’ve read have gone this approach doesn’t really seem to work. I think it’s fine to talk about anecdotes but keep things grounded and talk about WHY the experience matters more than every detail of the actual experience.

This has been so overdone that it was satarized years ago in a PS that gets bumped annually. Don't do it. We want to read an essay on the topic "why I want to attend medical school and how I've tested my interest in medicine". We don't want to read a screenplay showing us why you'll be the next Michael Crichton.

To go that route you need to have a great story to tell and have the ability to tell it well. The fact that you started this thread likely means you don’t have both of those, neither did I. The best thing you can do is write an honest, concise essay about how your experiences have shaped your desire to enter medicine.

100% this. Do not try and write some thrilling read. It's OK to use an anecdote or two, but adcoms want to know why you want to be a physician and (more importantly) how realistic you are about what that entails.

 

[Lucca]

Pickup a compelling biography or autobiography or memoir (so many to choose from!). In my experience good personal statements have been closer to that genre in style than YA novels.

Nobody expects you to be an incredible writer, lord knows most of us aren’t. As @Med Ed has written elsewhere, just try to be honest and not part of the 7% that make the reader physically cringe or want to call the police.

 

[deleted480308]

Much like short hair on women, far more people think they can pull off dramatic writing than can actually pull off dramatic writing

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Clutching my chest, I ran down the stairs, calling for my mother/friend/etc. I sank to the floor and I could hear their screams as my vision faded to black

This is horrendous writing. Do not take writing advice from that person.