Best time to have kids?

[ciestar]

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No, I am not trolling.
I am really curious at this point because I'm basically stuck in yet another gap year and I'd be almost 26 when/if I start med school.

Is having kids during med school or residency a bad idea?
I'd prefer to not wait until Im in my mid-30s for this, are there accommodations?
If there are, what year is the best year to do so?
My PCP had TWO kids while in med school (insane..), but I doubt this is the norm..

Does anyone have more information about this?

 

[The Buff OP]

No, I am not trolling.
I am really curious at this point because I'm basically stuck in yet another gap year and I'd be almost 26 when/if I start med school.

Is having kids during med school or residency a bad idea?
I'd prefer to not wait until Im in my mid-30s for this, are there accommodations?
If there are, what year is the best year to do so?
My PCP had TWO kids while in med school (insane..), but I doubt this is the norm..

Does anyone have more information about this?

When the mood is right. Late at night put on The Weeknd CD.
This topic has been brought up many times and the best time is during medical school. Residency and then starting to practice as a new physician will be harder to have a kid.

 

[ciestar]

When the mood is right. Late at night put on The Weeknd CD.
This topic has been brought up many times and the best time is during medical school. Residency and then starting to practice as a new physician will be harder to have a kid.

Well I wasn't exactly asking the specifics of the moment 😉
But anyway, which year of med school? I know M3 is rough.

 

[Optimus-Prime]

It all depends on your step 1, good score = good specialty, good specialty = good salary, good salary = double digits of children.

If step 1 goes well I'd suggest getting to business sooner rather than later

 

[The Buff OP]

Well I wasn't exactly asking the specifics of the moment 😉
But anyway, which year of med school? I know M3 is rough.

MS1 MS4 I heard it's good to get married, so why not have a bebé too. But do check out The Weeknd it's good music (PBR&B).

 

[Pacna]

It all depends on your step 1, good score = good specialty, good specialty = good salary, good salary = double digits of children.

If step 1 goes well I'd suggest getting to business sooner rather than later

I don't get this. Are you saying that docs who are paid less can't afford more children?

I'd say the opposite. Better step 1 = more challenging residency = wait until the last couple years of residency or even year 1-2 of attending.

 

[ciestar]

I don't get this. Are you saying that docs who are paid less can't afford more children?

I'd say the opposite. Better step 1 = more challenging residency = wait until the last couple years of residency or even year 1-2 of attending.

I guess it's great that my current primary interests are family practice and pediatrics.

 

[mct2762]

Every doctor I work with has told me the best time is right after 3rd year!

 

[mct2762]

for real though, one of the current third year students at one of my interviews had 8 (EIGHT) children! She also was insanely fit....how she found time for 8 kids and time to workout is beyond me

 

[Optimus-Prime]

I don't get this. Are you saying that docs who are paid less can't afford more children?

I'd say the opposite. Better step 1 = more challenging residency = wait until the last couple years of residency or even year 1-2 of attending.

longer wait = smaller reproductive window, smaller reproductive window = lesser chances for double digits of children.

double digits of children ain't cheap

 

[graviton]

Never?

There's no optimal time.

 

[ciestar]

Never?

There's no optimal time.

Nothing is ever optimal, especially with kids.

 

[Optimus-Prime]

Never?

There's no optimal time.

As a man I have been programmed to reproduce; never is not an option

 

[ciestar]

As a man I have been programmed to reproduce; never is not an option

True story.

 

[ciestar]

Every doctor I work with has told me the best time is right after 3rd year!

Thank you Dr Yang!

 

[Catalystik]

You could take a leave of absense after M2 for a "research year" and have a baby then. I've seen the same thing done in the year after M4, for either "research" or to get an MPH.

 

[Goro]

When you reach Professor Emeritus.
Serious, there is no good time to have kids on this path, so just have them when you're ready to have them. i've had students who became parents in medical school, and I've had single moms as students. It's doable.

No, I am not trolling.
I am really curious at this point because I'm basically stuck in yet another gap year and I'd be almost 26 when/if I start med school.

Is having kids during med school or residency a bad idea?
I'd prefer to not wait until Im in my mid-30s for this, are there accommodations?
If there are, what year is the best year to do so?
My PCP had TWO kids while in med school (insane..), but I doubt this is the norm..

Does anyone have more information about this?

 

[CW 2010]

I already posted it somewhere, but I personally know a female doctor who had twins during her internship in Internal Medicine. It all worked out well.

 

[Mad Jack]

Never.

But seriously, this will largely depend on your partner. A guy in medical school that has a wife who is willing stay home with the kids during residency has it much easier than a two physician couple or a woman with a hard-working executive spouse. The answer to this question depends entirely on your circumstances, as well as how you and your partner plan on approaching the raising of your children.

 

[kevinus]

Never.

But seriously, this will largely depend on your partner. A guy in medical school that has a wife who is willing stay home with the kids during residency has it much easier than a two physician couple or a woman with a hard-working executive spouse. The answer to this question depends entirely on your circumstances, as well as how you and your partner plan on approaching the raising of your children.

I think this is why most doctors advise against marrying another med student/doctor.

 

[Mad Jack]

I think this is why most doctors advise against marrying another med student/doctor.

Interestingly, physician-physician relationships have the lowest divorce rate among physician marriages. While it might not be convenient for having children, it tends to work out best in the long term.

 

[Godspeedyou]

I'll never get why people plan to have children a decade in advance... No point to think about that **** unless you're financially secure or

 

[dutchie000]

I think about this sometimes, too! I'm 24... so I'm still young, but also single and a female so when will I ever find a man..... and if I get into med school when will I ever have babies?! I guess it'll all work out somehow.

 

[ciestar]

I'll never get why people plan to have children a decade in advance... No point to think about that **** unless you're financially secure or

I'm engaged with a fiancé with a very stable job. So yes, this is a conversation that has happened.

 

[ciestar]

I think about this sometimes, too! I'm 24... so I'm still young, but also single and a female so when will I ever find a man..... and if I get into med school when will I ever have babies?! I guess it'll all work out somehow.

I'm not even single and I know the feeling! It always feels like there isn't enough time.

 

[Godspeedyou]

I'm engaged with a fiancé with a very stable job. So yes, this is a conversation that has happened.

How old are you?

 

[ciestar]

How old are you?

I'm 23. That's not the point. It has happened, but not a serious lets do it right now kinda thing. We have plans for the future and that's what it is. It'll happen when it does.

 

[terp720]

No, I am not trolling.
I am really curious at this point because I'm basically stuck in yet another gap year and I'd be almost 26 when/if I start med school.

Is having kids during med school or residency a bad idea?
I'd prefer to not wait until Im in my mid-30s for this, are there accommodations?
If there are, what year is the best year to do so?
My PCP had TWO kids while in med school (insane..), but I doubt this is the norm..

Does anyone have more information about this?

there are actually tons of threads out there that talk about this, so you could also try searching for those to get more information.
'
but anecdotally, both of my cousins who went through med school had their first child towards the end of 4th year, and their 2nd child towards the end of their last year of their residency (3rd year)

 

[Godspeedyou]

I'm 23. That's not the point. It has happened, but not a serious lets do it right now kinda thing. We have plans for the future and that's what it is. It'll happen when it does.

Lol seriously man? 23? Fiance? Thinking about kids? I don't even know where to begin with this. Best of luck to you and I pray for your sake that she is from Asia or some 3rd world country

 

[worfndata]

Man, anytime. Women, before 33.

 

[terp720]

Lol seriously man? 23? Fiance? Thinking about kids? I don't even know where to begin with this. Best of luck to you and I pray for your sake that she is from Asia or some 3rd world country

maybe you could begin by not judging people for when they feel they are ready to get engaged/married?

 

[Godspeedyou]

maybe you could begin by not judging people for when they feel they are ready to get engaged/married?

It's not judging it's being helpful. 50% divorce rate in America. Getting married as a man is one of the worst financial decisions we can make. Lol I don't care what another man does but if you get a divorce you're fuxd. She can take your house, your kids, your life. Prenups mean nothing and are easily overturned. Enjoy being homeless.

 

[terp720]

It's not judging it's being helpful. 50% divorce rate in America. Getting married as a man is one of the worst financial decisions we can make. Lol I don't care what another man does but if you get a divorce you're fuxd. She can take your house, your kids, your life. Prenups mean nothing and are easily overturned. Enjoy being homeless.

ok.. well OP is a girl, so not so helpful. mostly insulting.

 

[ciestar]

I'm a female. I've thought about being a mommy since I was little, obviously not in the same way but still. I want kids, so what? How does age change that? But clearly I'm wrong so..

 

[Godspeedyou]

ok.. well OP is a girl, so not so helpful. mostly insulting.

In that case get married. It's the best thing a female can do.

 

[terp720]

In that case get married. It's the best thing a female can do.

pretty antiquated views of marriage you have there. you know nothing about OP. She plans on going to medical school. For all we know, she could end up being the primary earner for the family.
but clearly you have nothing to actually contribute to OP's questions

 

[Godspeedyou]

pretty antiquated views of marriage you have there. you know nothing about OP. She plans on going to medical school. For all we know, she could end up being the primary earner for the family.
but clearly you have nothing to actually contribute to OP's questions

I'm sorry I don't match your Disney-esque marriage views. Welcome to the real world. **** stinks. Deal with it. Coming from a family of broken marriages, I take the realistic view.

 

[TheWeeIceMan]

9 months after you get pregnant.

 

[terp720]

I'm sorry I don't match your Disney-esque marriage views. Welcome to the real world. **** stinks. Deal with it. Coming from a family of broken marriages, I take the realistic view.

trust me, I don't have some "disney-esque view" of marriages coming from a family of broken marriages as well.
I never said your statistics weren't true or commented on the likelihood of staying married for young couples or any of that. I simply am telling you that you don't need to immediately make judgments about a person or their relationship when you know nothing about them.

edit: sorry OP that this is really off topic

 

[ciestar]

trust me, I don't have some "disney-esque view" of marriages coming from a family of broken marriages as well.
I never said your statistics weren't true or commented on the likelihood of staying married for young couples or any of that. I simply am telling you that you don't need to immediately make judgments about a person or their relationship when you know nothing about them.

edit: sorry OP that this is really off topic

No need to apologize! I appreciate it

 

[ciestar]

I'm sorry I don't match your Disney-esque marriage views. Welcome to the real world. **** stinks. Deal with it. Coming from a family of broken marriages, I take the realistic view.

Hah. Like @terp720 said, you know nothing about me. I came from a similar family of broken marriages and bad relationships. Thank god I have a better outlook on this than you do.

 

[EMDO2018]

"Best time to have kids?"

Never

 

[dutchie000]

In that case get married. It's the best thing a female can do.

How is marriage the best thing for a female and not for a male? I think it should be the best thing for all parties involved when it happens. If neither one is ready it's not the best thing for anyone; if both are ready it's the best thing for both. The problem isn't a male vs. female thing. It's people getting married before they are anywhere near ready and without understanding the implications of combining lives with someone else. Divorce sucks financially for everyone, not just the male in the relationship.

Best of luck to the OP with med school and her future family!! I understand how you feel as I've also wanted to be a mom, and it'll definitely be tricky to figure out how to balance family life vs. med school, but I'm sure it'll work its way out somehow.... lucky for you you've found a man who can handle your drive and passion to become a doctor, that's the first step for sure 🙂

 

[Mornhavon]

.

 

[Godspeedyou]

How is marriage the best thing for a female and not for a male? I think it should be the best thing for all parties involved when it happens. If neither one is ready it's not the best thing for anyone; if both are ready it's the best thing for both. The problem isn't a male vs. female thing. It's people getting married before they are anywhere near ready and without understanding the implications of combining lives with someone else. Divorce sucks financially for everyone, not just the male in the relationship.

Best of luck to the OP with med school and her future family!! I understand how you feel as I've also wanted to be a mom, and it'll definitely be tricky to figure out how to balance family life vs. med school, but I'm sure it'll work its way out somehow.... lucky for you you've found a man who can handle your drive and passion to become a doctor, that's the first step for sure 🙂

"Divorce sucks financially for everyone, not just the male in the relationship" said absolutely no one who knows anything about marriage and law. Come back when you got your big girl pants on.

Let me just give you a list of the thousands of guy who have had their lives destroyed my divorce. Then let me give you the list of the one or two girls who have had the same happen. Lol @ thinking any men should feeling comfortable getting married when you can take >50% of his wealth and he can take at most 0.01% of yours

 

[Optimus-Prime]

I'm sorry I don't match your Disney-esque marriage views. Welcome to the real world. **** stinks. Deal with it. Coming from a family of broken marriages, I take the realistic view.

I come from a family of successful marriages, all based off of dating for many years before marriage. My girlfriend is the one (keep it secret), I don't plan on marrying her for several years; people change over time.

 

[dutchie000]

"Divorce sucks financially for everyone, not just the male in the relationship" said absolutely no one who knows anything about marriage and law. Come back when you got your big girl pants on.

Let me just give you a list of the thousands of guy who have had their lives destroyed my divorce. Then let me give you the list of the one or two girls who have had the same happen. Lol @ thinking any men should feeling comfortable getting married when you can take >50% of his wealth and he can take at most 0.01% of yours

How about you come back when you find actual statistics about the effects of divorce on men vs. women rather than sharing anecdotal experiences of your guy friends being destroyed by divorce. Anyway, it's time to take my big girl pants off and go to bed. I hope your pessimistic outlook of marriage is working out well for you!

 

[Godspeedyou]

take my big girl pants off and go to bed.

Now you're talking my language

 

[Ismet]

Keep it civil and on topic.


Best time is during M1 or having the kid at the beginning of M4 (don't want to have it in Nov-Jan as that's residency interview time) so that it's almost a year old when you start residency. So far no women in my class have had children during med school, although one has 3 kids, one of which a toddler. A male classmate's wife had a baby during MS1, and another male classmate's wife is expecting. Judging by the number of married/almost married people in my class, I wouldn't be surprised if there are a couple more babies before graduation.

 

[broski123]

I think it depends heavily on whether you are a female or male.